Chapter Text
Dr. Elizabeth Truscott was a brilliant and renowned biologist, a leader in the field of genetic engineering. Due to her groundbreaking work, couples with some genetic diseases could have children known to be free of the disease. It started with the standard fertility procedure of harvesting eggs from the woman and sperm from the man, and then letting the sperm fertilize the egg. But Truscott's procedure then stopped everything before the first cell division, went in and with RNA viruses snipped out the offending gene and replaced it with a normal copy. Implant the egg, and -- the genetic curse gone, in the next generation! It might be worth a Nobel Prize some day.
She figured people assumed that her private life was fairly normal. Marriage to some busy, high-achieving man, but the two of them making time for great sex a couple times a week. Satisfied in that part of her life, she could concentrate on her work without distraction. That's what she thought they thought.
But it wasn't like that. For one thing, she was a lesbian. Big deal, you say. For another thing, she was really only attracted to little girls, not grown women. OK, you say, that is something of a big deal. Of course she couldn't actually do anything sexual with small girls. That would be illegal, and it would risk harming them.
Years before, when puberty started having its way with her, she noticed the younger girls in school. In high school, she liked looking at children's clothing catalogs. Most of her friends were getting excited by boys. A few were getting excited by other girls their own age. Liz wasn't interested in either kind. She loved children, though, and looked forward to becoming a mother, but that felt totally separate. She realized she really loved looking at the little girls in just their panties. And when now and then she saw those panties come down and saw what was inside -- she was surprised that a motherly reaction would be *that* strong! Liz went off to college with no clear sexual orientation -- maybe she was asexual. It was only in college that it all became clear.
Liz tried dating, since that was what all girls did, right? People said that when the time was right, she'd really want a man to slide his penis into her. But however much the men caressed and kissed in all the right places, she never really got that feeling. Her vagina got warm and wet, but she never got the desire to have it penetrated. But to be a normal woman you had to have a man doing it to you, and maybe feeling the real thing would awaken the desire. So she let kind David slide it in. It didn't hurt, and it felt full in a way that was unlike anything else. She got some sexy sensations from the friction and pressure, but she never felt like she really desired to have that thing going in and out of her. Naturally he reached orgasm inside her. It was nice in theory to have done what a woman does to get pregnant. She didn't mind the wet feeling inside from all that sperm but didn't find it exciting either. She tried with a couple other men -- a half dozen times with the last one. But it never felt like what she wanted. The other girls all hungered for it. Even when a guy only lasted ten seconds, the girl had wanted it and felt a sort of satisfaction Liz never did.
There were lesbians too, of course, so she gave that a try. For starters, even the smaller ones had bodies that were too big. They all had breasts, which she had no interest in. They all had big hips and were hairy and big down between the legs. None of that felt right. When she thought of the little girls they used to be, with everything smooth and hairless, she got turned on a little, but the person there with her was actually an adult woman, and she was not interested. At least the men had a penis that fit very nicely into her vagina, and so was geometrically satisfying. When it ejaculated inside her, that was part of baby-making, so that lent it a certain justification. With women it wasn't clear what should go where or why.
But now and then she would cross paths with a little girl, and the sight of her made Liz's heart start beating fast. A smile from a little girl made her day. Back in high school she had done some babysitting, and now and then had been in charge of bath times. It was kind of interesting and instructive to see how little boys looked, but the girls were utterly fascinating.
Now, in college, thinking back on those memories, she slowly came to the conclusion that what she took to be utter fascination was actually romantic and sexual attraction. Little girls were the only ones who turned her on. As a sophomore in college she stopped dating completely.
In reality, all she could do with her sexual desire was pretend, alone in bed. She had a big stuffed bear named Sally left over from her childhood, and it had been easy to rip the seam down in the bear's crotch just a little, and then her finger would go inside. With the fingers of her right hand she could give loving attention to the parts of her own pussy that felt good, but with the fingers of the left she could stroke and penetrate Sally.
She found porn online of little girls playing with themselves, and it was electrifying. Ages 10, or 7, or even 4. But before three days had gone by she realized it was taking advantage of them, since surely they had not just decided to do that themselves and get an adult to film it and distribute it. She also realized it was legally hazardous. That was the angle that really made her nervous, more than thoughts of the exploited little girls. She deleted all the porn and kept her vow to never look for such things again. The qualities that allowed her to be a world-class geneticist included the discipline to follow through on resolutions. But she never forgot the images.
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In college, she threw herself into her studies. The energy that her peers, both male and female, put into dating and sex, she put into study. She was very good at what she did, and by the age of 30 had risen to the top of her field.
She was a problem-solver by nature. Problem: Get a small girl to have sex with. Approach: Have one yourself. Having it be her own child would solve serious obstacles in terms of getting access and avoiding suspicions.
If she wanted a daughter, she could likely make one. Women found sperm donors and became single mothers all the time. If she conceived a boy she could give him up for adoption -- or have an abortion. As a mother there would be virtually no limits to the intimacy she could have with her own baby girl. As best she could tell from pictures, her sexual interest only started when a girl turned two or so, and then it peaked around age five. And long before then this girl would be old enough to communicate well and young enough that she couldn't reliably keep a big secret. She would let slip to someone what she and her mother were doing together. If that happened, Liz's life would be destroyed.
If she could somehow get around that problem, then as her girl got older and Liz's sexual interest waned, she could let the sexual aspect to their relationship wane in tandem and the mother/child aspect would be all that was left. And it would be a lot, because Liz intended to be a very good mother.
What was she thinking? The idea was totally preposterous! But musing about impossible things was fun. Not fundamentally different from when people read erotic fiction -- or write it.
She could get that far in her fantasy with any girl. But as her research focused in on genetic manipulation of fertilized human eggs, it brought new possibilities.
What sort of genetic modifications could a mad scientist make to a girl so she would better suit Liz's purposes? Getting her to stay like a five-year-old forever would match her dream very well, but she had no clue how to do that. And besides, explaining to the world why your little girl never grows up would be very difficult! So even as a thought experiment, that was a dead end.
But in her dream world Liz didn't just want a girl to use for her own pleasure, she wanted one who would really want the sex to satisfy her own sex drive. One whose clitoris was fully formed and whose vagina could accept the deepest penetration of Liz's finger. Here genetic manipulation was entirely possible. It was just a matter of hastening a couple of the changes that happened at puberty. Just adjust the timing -- a comparatively simple task.
This was preposterous! Just fantasy. On the other hand, it was a professional challenge, and just musing about all the angles of the problem turned her on.
There were known candidate genes that controlled the timing of pubertal changes. She found a couple that should do the trick, one for physical maturity and the other for sexual desire. Her lab's ground-breaking work needed to have an animal model in mind -- and monkeys fit the bill. They tried everything out on monkeys before the first trials with humans. And while following through with a human was out of the question, she could risk harm to a little girl monkey or two without it being a problem. Why, her work had saved countless human lives, so she deserved the services of a couple monkeys to satisfy her own idle curiosity.
She had just one false start before finding the genes she needed. She could get a female monkey to develop a genuine sexual interest and lust at a young age. It was kind of humorous to see a little girl monkey presenting her rear end to a male for sex, and to see the somewhat perplexed reaction of the male. But she imagined him saying, "Wow, she is small. This can't be right. But maybe she's a midget. Sperm is cheap, and extra descendants are precious, so let's go for it!" More than a bit of anthropomorphizing there, including with some Darwinian selection transformed into monkey thought. Since the mating happened successfully, that meant her manipulation to make the vulva and vagina mature early was also successful, or the male wouldn't have been able to penetrate her to do the deed. That was good, because she had been uncertain how to test the success of early-maturing vulva and vagina otherwise. What a female monkey's genital tract needed to qualify as mature was a question primatologists had not studied much. The male's ability to use it to complete mating was proof enough.
After this success with monkeys, she could try out her techniques in human volunteers. Her serious work was typically tried first on people with a terminal illness who were eager to give the rest of their short lives some meaning by helping out with medical research. As her team was trying something on a young girl, Liz added her own manipulations in parallel, and they worked in a human girl too -- though no trying it out with a male partner!
It was rewarding to satisfy her curiosity about the issue, and perhaps it sharpened her skills. Countless scientific discoveries have been made by accident as people were investigating something else. Yet of course the idea of doing that to a healthy girl with a long life ahead of her was preposterous. Totally out of the question!
In her fictional quest to create a perfect sex partner for herself, the much bigger problem was keeping secrets. What did science know now? There were humans with multiple personalities -- and they found a genetic basis for some of those cases. Often one personality was unaware of others. Maybe a girl could go into a separate state for sexual experience but have no memory of it later. There was also as a starting point the standard medical procedure of intravenous (IV) sedation, where the patient remained conscious and could follow instructions, but could remember nothing of the experience later.
Medical researchers were investigating some promising drugs that could do this sedation without the "IV" part. One drug to bring on the sedated state, and another to bring a person out of it.
This was not Liz's field of research at all, but her fame gave her access to some key people, allowing her to ask questions and get answers confidentially. It was possible to bring on a separate state without it being sedating -- the person would remain as alert as ever. The procedure was much safer and reliable with some people than others, and research had identified a couple rare genes that guaranteed the sedation would work, and that it could be safely maintained for longer and used more frequently than existing techniques. It could also be used with young children. This put the problem back squarely in Liz's field of expertise. It would be a simple matter for Liz to splice in those genes at the same time she was manipulating the others.
With that, all the pieces of her problem were solved. Early genital maturity, early sexual interest and desire, and a secret "head space" the girl could enter for hours at a time, if desired, for sexual activity that she would not remember later. She could live a normal life, without any ethical complications.
The technical problems were solved. So the thought experiment was over. It would be totally unethical, of course.
And yet, as Liz looked at girls' underwear catalogs while pleasuring herself and sliding her finger in and out of her bear's symbolic vagina, other thoughts came to her. She had decided against becoming a mother, but this possibility was so compelling it might be enough to make her change her mind. If she did, then whatever troubles the girl might have, it would be better than never being alive at all, right? And so many avenues of research today were blocked due to ethical concerns, some of them quite far-fetched -- why couldn't she violate a few ethical guidelines if it was her own child? This was in the same spirit as the movement of parents who wanted to be able to raise their children according to their own values and keep the government from interfering in family life.
She imagined being with a little girl, stimulating herself and letting her fantasies roam, and within half an hour, usually, she reached orgasm. Yet she always felt incomplete and a little dissatisfied. It was just a picture of a girl and a stuffed bear. What she wanted was a real girl. And when humans have a sexual yearning, it can sometimes make them throw caution and ethical concerns to the wind.
And so at the age of 38, spurred on by a ticking biological clock, on top of everything else, she set her plan in motion. She hadn't been able to test some parts of the plan with monkeys or humans, but she was confident.
She found herself selecting a sperm donor, harvesting her eggs, fertilizing them, and setting to work on the fertilized eggs. Things went wrong with the first five of them, but on the sixth one she got the genetic changes just right. She arranged for three initial cell divisions that produced 8 identical fertilized eggs -- octuplets, had they all been implanted and lived.
The first one did not "take", but the second implanted in her uterus. She was pregnant with a new type of human being, if one was thinking grandiosely. When both Liz and her daughter were dead, her scientific executor could release her detailed notes on the experiment and how it had gone. It would be a new piece of information to feed into the edifice of scientific data.