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Dawn’s first light creeps through the window of their bedroom as the rain continues to steadily drill the roof above her head. She reaches out and grabs a handful of cold, empty sheets.
Another day which she has to keep her heart beating.
---
“I don’t know, Lincoln,” Lexa whines. “I don’t know any of these people. It’ll just be awkward.”
“Woods, have I ever steered you wrong?” He asks, giving her a toothy grin.
Lexa doesn’t skip a beat. “Umm…do you recall skinny dipping in Fort Buchanan? ‘You go head Lex, we’ll meet you in the water!’ And then my dumbass is the only one naked in the water…ringing any bells?”
Lincoln chuckles, “Well when in Puerto Rico, you must do as the natives do.”
“Whatever, I’m still not over it.”
“As I recall you got your payback at Fort Wainwright,” Lincoln reminds her.
“Well what kind of dumbasses go outside in a -70 Alaskan winter to streak around the block? You were pretty much asking for me to lock all of you out of the house for a good ten minutes.”
“Woods. It’s gonna be a good time, I know it’s your favorite pastime but try not to overthink this.”
And that’s how Lexa ended up in the corner of a house party, being socially awkward as fuck, watching Lincoln and her other Army buddies dancing with drunk girls. This was the last time she listened to them.
“Hey baby, you look lost,” the red head who had been eye-fucking her from across the room for the last fifteen minutes said on her approach.
Lexa pulled her shoulders up and rolled her neck, this had to be one of the most uncomfortable moments of her life.
“Hey red, if you want to keep those hands connected to your body I suggest getting them off my girlfriend,” said a small blonde behind the girl.
“You okay, babe?” she asked, wrapping her arms around Lexa.
Lexa swallowed audibly, “Mhmm.”
Hands up in surrender, the red head turned on her heel and walked away.
Lexa looked down at the blonde and smiled.
“Clarke,” she introduced herself, arms falling away from Lexa’s body.
“Thank you, Clarke. You saved me.”
“You looked like you were worth saving from trashy redheads,” Clarke explained, leaning against the wall next to Lexa.
“Can I get my hero a drink?” Lexa asked.
“No, I’m DD tonight. But you could pay your hero back with a dance,” Clarke replied, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know…” Lexa struggled. “I don’t dance.”
But the blonde was persistent, “So you can lay your life down for this country but you can’t dance with the girl who probably just saved you from really bad sex and about five STDs?”
A smiled spread across Lexa’s face before allowing herself to be dragged out to the makeshift dancefloor in the living room.
Clarke pulled her into the center of all the dancing bodies and reached out for Lexa’s face, pulling them close. Lexa’s hands on Clarke’s hips, feeling the heat of her skin through the bandage dress. Clarke’s arms wrapped around Lexa’s neck. Lexa controlled their lower bodies, moving their hips to the music while Clarke tangled her fingers in Lexa’s long hair. Heads pressed together, the heat between them was all-consuming.
“WOODS!!” Lincoln hollered from between two girls, giving her a thumbs up. “Good work!”
Lexa looked back at Clarke and they laughed, Clarke dropping her head backwards.
It was the moment when Lexa knew this girl had a hold on her heart.
---
Just thinking of their time together made tears swell in her eyes. Before she was aware of them, tiny sobs were convulsing through her body.
What was Raven always telling her?
“She wouldn’t want you to live like this. She loved you more than anything on the planet.”
She had to hold onto that.
--
“Clarke, I shouldn’t go.”
Lexa stood at the gate, gear in hand and buddies behind her.
“What are you talking about, Lexa? You have to go, it’s your job!” Clarke reminded her, putting on her brave face. Just a couple more moments and then she could go break down in the terminal parking lot.
“My job is to love you for the rest of our lives,” Lexa reminded her, rubbing the ring on her left hand.
“Well you’ve already succeeded at that so you have to go do this last tour.” Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. “Besides, you have men to lead. I could never stand in the way of that.”
Lexa’s green eyes stared into Clarke’s bright blue ones, memorizing every ounce of them. She’d need to hold onto that for her time on this tour.
“God, I’m the luckiest woman alive,” Lexa whispered pressing her forehead into Clarke’s. “My heart is full, Griffin.”
If her boys were whistling at them, she couldn’t hear them. She and Clarke were the only two people in the entire airport.
Clarke swallowed and looked into her wife’s eyes, if there ever was a time this was it.
“It’s about to be fuller, Lex.”
“It worked?”
“It worked.”
Lexa’s eyes bulged and the widest smile her face would allow spread.
“AHHHHH!” She screamed. Snaking her arms under Clarke’s ass and picking her up, Lexa spun them as they celebrated.
Clarke laughed and tilted her head down, firming kissing Lexa’s lips.
“Last call for flight 1303,” a flight attendant announced.
Lexa set Clarke down and pressed a hand to her stomach. Lexa dropped to her knees on the tile and grabbed Clarke by the waist.
“Mommy loves you so much, little one,” Lexa whispered. “Grow big and strong while I’m gone and make your mama too sick.”
Tears welled in Clarke’s eyes, this was the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life. She kissed the top of Lexa’s head and whispered, “You come back to us, okay baby?”
“I promise, Clarke.”
One more kiss and Lexa forced herself to turn to the gate. Lincoln and her other friends were still waiting for her, wondering what that scene had been about.
“I’m gonna be a MOM, boys!” Lexa hollered, throwing her arms out. They cheered and pulled her into a group hug before handing over their boarding passes to the attendant.
Clarke laughed and pressed a palm against her tummy, “She’ll come back to us, baby. Don’t you worry.”
---
She had always enjoyed the summer, she would lay out and soak up the warm sun. But at eight months pregnant, Clarke had a newfound hatred for summer.
“Ughhhhh,” she whined, sticking her tongue out. She was miserable.
“Here baby, take some ice. It’ll help,” Abby advised.
“No it won’t,” Clarke groaned. But she still took a cube and rubbed it across her bare belly and then the back of her neck.
Tears of frustration fell from her eyes.
“What’s wrong baby?” Abby asked, pulling Clarke’s swollen ankles into her lap.
“Why did I think this was a good idea?” she asked her mom, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
“Because you wanted to give Lexa something she never had…a family. My angel, she’ll be back soon.” Abby said, rubbing her daughter’s feet.
---
“Are you sure, Clarke?”
Clarke looked at the sample in front of them and then back to Lexa, before nodding.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, Lexa. I want this family with you.”
She handed Lexa the medical version of a turkey baster and watched as her beautiful lesbian of a wife open the carefully selected sperm sample.
Clarke pulled her pants off and laid back on the bed.
“I know this isn’t sexy but thank you for agreeing to let me do this at home, babe,” Clarke whispered, cheeks growing red in embarrassment.
Lexa turned around and looked at her wife. Maybe it wasn’t traditional but she was intent on making it as romantic as she could, they were creating a life together. She set the sample up and set it down on their nightstand.
She started at the end of their bed, pulling Clarke flat on her back and spreading her legs. She set small kisses down as she made her way from kneecap to inner thigh, enjoying the small moans coming from Clarke. She settled in at the place that her been her home for many years and lightly pressed her tongue against the girl’s clit. She worked until her wife’s back arched off their bed and her fingernails dug into the Lexa’s scalp.
“Lexa,” Clarke moaned over and over.
Replacing her tongue with her fingers, she crawled up Clarke’s body and met her lips. After six years together, Lexa knew exactly what it took to make Clarke come. When she began to feel Clarke clinch around her, she reached behind her and took the instrument in her hand. As Clarke’s orgasm erupted, she injected her with the sperm.
Clarke smiled and pulled Lexa up.
“I love you,” she whispered against Lexa’s lips.
“I love you.”
A moment later, Lexa set them up with their legs across the headboard and Clarke snuggled against her chest. Clarke’s breathing became heavy as she fell asleep nuzzled against Lexa. Lexa pressed kisses to her forehead and watched the snow fall outside their window.
“To a family of my own,” she whispered. “Please God, they’re all I want in this life.”
---
“You’re right, mom,” Clarke said, laying her head down on Abby’s lap. She smiled when her mom began rubbing her scalp and pressed a hand her stomach. She could feel small kicks against her palm and let her mind wander, wondering what Lexa was doing at this exact moment.
“Time for Lamaze, Griffin! Get up!” Raven said, pulling Clarke from her nap.
“NOOOO…I was finally asleep!” she whined.
“No time for that, that baby is busy baking and we’ve got to prepare ourselves with breathing!”
“I really hate you…” Clarke pouted.
“You know you love me, princess,” Raven smiled, assuming the position for pulling Clarke up these days. “Let’s count together! One…two…three!”
Clarke was in the midst of pulling her ass off the couch when, “Oh shit.”
“What?” Raven asked.
Clarke looked down, “My water just broke…”
---
Lexa sat in her tent, staring at the latest sonogram image on her phone.
She understood less ever since Clarke had told her she was pregnant. Like, what parent could leave a life they created? Her parents….or maybe parent…had left her on the steps of a firehouse when she was three days old. Lexa didn’t even know her real last name. ‘Lexa’ had been imprinted on a small bracelet around her wrist when she’d been found. For her thirteenth birthday she gave herself the last name ‘Woods’ after going to a summer camp for orphans and falling in love with the forest.
She joined the Army when she was eighteen because how else was an orphan supposed to care for herself? No one had ever truly wanted her until Clarke came along. And then Clarke’s army of friends and family adopted her.
And now a baby who would be theirs…forever. It seemed to be good to be true.
*Buzz*
Lexa’s phone showed a text from Raven.
--It’s time!! Get on the flight back home, Woods. Your girl needs you!
Lexa dropped the phone and screamed. She looked around her space, she had to fit the essentials in her bag and get to the airport. Everything else could be shipped back.
“What the fuck, Woods?” Lincoln asked, opening the tent.
“Clarke’s in labor, I gotta go!”
“Holy shit!! You gotta go!” He exclaimed, hugging her.
As they packed her stuff, her sergeant stood in the door of her tent.
“Woods, we gotta go,” he said, announcing his presence.
“I know! Wait how’d you know my wife went into labor?” Lexa stopped.
His face fell. “I didn’t. I mean, we have an emergency and have to go detonate an explosive.”
“But…”
“We need our best on this one, Woods.”
---
Geared up she walked towards the homemade explosive. They were even more dangerous than professional grade explosives because they could go off at any time.
Lexa never felt more stupid in her life. She should’ve gotten out when she’d married Clarke two years ago instead of taking on more time. For once in her life she had a family who needed her and she was risking it all for a war she didn’t even know if she believed in anymore.
“What’s the time on it say?” Her sergeant hollered when she reached it.
Lexa took a breath, “One minute.”
She pulled out her cutters and made progress untangling the wires, carefully making her way to the ones she really needed.
“Red or black, sergeant?”
He took a beat, “I…I don’t know. These homemade bombs aren’t always by our standards. If we’d made it, it would be the black wire.”
Lexa’s heart sank.
---
“AHHHHHHHH!” Clarke screamed, arching her back off the hospital bed.
“Breathe, Clarke…breathe,” Raven reminded her, smoothing her hair.
“You FUCKING breathe!” Clarke spat back.
“Well…okay.” Raven turned to Abby.
Abby approached her daughter, “Baby it’s time to push. We can’t wait anymore.”
“I have to wait for Lexa,” she cried, clutching bed sheets until her knuckles were white.
“We haven’t heard from her in twelve hours, Clarke,” Raven said.
The doctor gave Abby a look and she knew it they couldn’t wait any longer. She grabbed Clarke by the shoulders.
“Look baby, you’re hurting the baby and yourself by trying to fight the urge to push. It’s time, Clarke.”
Clarke sobbed, “I can’t mom, I can’t do this without her.”
“You have to, Clarke. She wouldn’t want this for you or the baby. I’m here and I won’t leave you, I promise.”
Clarke nodded as she felt a big contraction begin. Raven took her position at Clarke’s left leg and Abby held her shoulders.
“Ready to push, Clarke?” the doctor asked.
Clarke looked to Abby one more time.
“You can do this. You are so strong, Clarke.”
And with that, Clarke began pushing.
“AHHHHHH!!!”
The door swung open. Lexa rushed in, nurses surrounding her and tying a gown around her neck.
A wave of relief washed over Clarke.
“Lex…”
“I’m here, baby.”
Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke’s sweaty lips and climbed in behind her. They’d been talking about this and skyping every Lamaze class Lexa could. She took Clarke’s hands in hers and Clarke felt the next contraction beginning.
“Push!!!” Abby advised, helping Raven with Clarke’s left foot.
With Lexa by her side, she was invincible. Clarke gave it every last ounce of strength she had before collapsing back against Lexa.
“The baby is out!” said the doctor. “It’s a boy!”
Lexa pressed a kiss against Clarke’s cheek and dabbed at her forehead with a towel.
“You did so good, my love,” she whispered, wrapping their intertwined hands around Clarke.
They placed the baby on Clarke’s chest and she felt her heart swell.
“We have a son, Clarke,” Lexa said breathlessly, tears already running down her cheeks.
“Welcome to the world, Aden.”
“Aden?” Lexa asked, Clarke nodded. “I love it.”
“You want to cut the cord, mom?” the doctor asked, making eye contact with Lexa. Clarke kissed her and let her climb out of the bed. Lexa cut the cord and then followed baby Aden over to be cleaned up.
“Fuck!” the doctor exclaimed, pushing Raven and Abby away.
Lexa turned back. Clarke’s eyes were closed and massive amounts of blood were hitting the white tiled floor.
---
“Mommy?” a small voice asked from the hall.
“Yes, my love?” Lexa smiled, drying her tears with the back of her hand.
Aden approached the bed, “Are you okay, mommy?”
“Yes baby,” she said, patting the empty bed next to her. Aden climbed in and cuddled up to her.
“Then why are you crying?” he asked, looking up at her with his big blue eyes.
“I just miss mama Clarke, Aden,” she whispered pulling him close.
“I miss her too,” the small boy said, though she’d died long before he could retain memories. She’d died from a massive hemorrhage, the doctor said. No way to have known, Abby said.
Lexa placed a kiss on top of his curly brown hair, “She loved you more than anything in this world, Aden.”
“She loved you too, mommy.”
Lexa looked down into his blue eyes, so much like Clarke’s and just knew she could make it. Clarke and Aden needed her to.