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Betrayal.
Every stroke of her rifle against the rocks makes that one word echo through her mind.
There is desperation. There is rage. But there is also something else, something she can’t find herself to put into words.
« Cait. »
Oh.
Vi’s voice finds a way to make space between the sound of her fury. Caitlyn had always thought that her voice was like some sort of tranquillizer on her, it could immediately make her feel like everything was going to be alright, and hearing it right after what just happened makes something snap inside her. Caitlyn whimpers and whines and cries, she rests her forehead against that stupid rock trying to calm herself, but it doesn’t work. It’s too much.
« You stopped me. »
It hurts to say it out loud.
« I shouldn’t have had to. »
All Caitlyn perceives is judgment – but who knows where Vi’s words really lay.
« I had the shot. »
She sure had it. She never missed and Vi should have known that.
« That was a kid. What if you missed? »
Caitlyn turns around, fueled by nothing else but rage. « I wasn’t going to miss! »
« What’s wrong with you? »
« I keep telling myself that you are different but… » Caitlyn can feel tears forming in her eyes, but she sends them away. « …you’re not. It’s her blood in your veins. »
As soon as she finishes saying so, Caitlyn turns around.
She doesn’t have the guts to face Vi, it hurts too much to realize that, at the end of the day, the person she loves doesn’t trust her in what she does best.
Caitlyn wants to shake those thoughts away because – in all honesty – she doesn’t know how to handle all the things she is feeling. That’s the reason why she seeks refuge in one specific moment, a memory so dear to her even though it happened merely hours before: the kiss she shared with Vi.
« Promise me you won’t change. »
Caitlyn gets closer to Vi as the latter closes her eyes. She doesn’t know if she is doing the right thing but putting her right hand on Vi’s cheek surely seems so to her in that moment. She inspires, her gaze lowers to catch a glimpse of Vi’s lips, and when she finally closes the distance between their faces, Caitlyn feels alive; every inch of her body is trembling with such deep emotion she didn’t even know she could experience.
Caitlyn gently kisses Vi before – forehead against forehead – she pronounces some simple words.
« I won’t. »
She caresses Vi’s cheek with her thumb, her other hand resting on Vi’s thigh. She hears the dull sound of Vi’s gauntlet falling on the ground.
And then there is hugs, kisses, and everything in between.
Caitlyn is soon called back to reality, though.
« Then why are you the one acting like her? »
As she says so, Vi grabs her arms.
That’s when everything she repressed explodes and Caitlyn’s mind starts to feel like a tornado in taking form into it. It’s confusing, it’s hurtful, it’s a lot of things that mix and clash and that she doesn’t want to feel at all.
And something snaps inside all that turmoil, it’s like an instinct that she had no idea she had in her body. It’s a single ferocious movement that hits Vi’s stomach with the ending part of the rifle that Caitlyn is still holding. She looks back, she lowers her gaze to meet Vi’s, that now is on the ground, grunting from the pain.
Why did I do this? Why did I do this to Vi of all people?
But it’s just a fragment of clarity that moves her, before she scrolls it away.
In that moment, Caitlyn decides that she can’t have time to handle what she just did.
And just like that, she leaves, as Vi whimpers on the floor.
Caitlyn isn’t really listening to Ambessa’s words, she doesn’t care. All she can think about is how she promised Vi that she wouldn’t change and yet she did. That’s all her mind can process, at least until Ambessa calls her name.
As she walks to the front to face all the people calling for her, Caitlyn stops all the feelings and decides that this is what she is shooting for from now on.