Chapter Text
Nico was running through the woods. Everyone had warned him to stay out, especially at night, but he didn’t care. Bianca was dead and Percy was a liar. He had promised to keep her safe, and yet she died. How could Percy do this to him? He was the biggest hero of the camp. He had made Nico feel so safe, so warm, so special. So special in fact that his stomach flip-flopped, and he felt heat fill his face whenever Percy looked at him with those kind, perfect sea colored eyes, and the pitch black hair that looked so soft as it gently swayed in the cold breeze from the lake.
He had been crying since he started running, but at the thought of Percy his eyes refiled with burning hot water, that stung down his face as they fell. The cold air bit into his skin as well, making it feel like small lashings on any exposed skin.
The longer he ran, the more his lungs filled with fire. He knew he wouldn’t be able to run much longer, but there was a sick satisfaction in the pain. Something he never thought was possible.
He remembered one time in the Lotus Hotel, Bianca and him had been playing tag or something similar when he had fallen and twisted his ankle a bit. He cried for an hour as Bianca took care of it, since then he had always hated pain. But, as he ran and the burning became worse, he started to realize that the pain of losing Bianca lessened. If the pain caused this, he could push himself just a little bit more.
Nico felt ready to collapse when he tripped over a root of a tree. He rolled a bit as he hit the ground and suddenly felt a sharp burning pain on the side of his calf. He let out a pained sound that he knew no one would hear. He laid there on the frost covered ground, trying desperately to catch his breath.
His lungs felt like they were truly on fire and were shaking violently inside his ribs. He genuinely feared that they would collapse if he sat up. There was a horrible ringing in his head that accompanied the lack of oxygen that was only muted by his racing heartbeat that could be felt in every nerve, bone, and muscle in his body. It was so loud that he didn’t realize he was choking on his sobs, making it harder for him to catch his breath. The hot tears were still flowing from his eyes and showed no sign of stopping. His legs felt like rubber, and the cold from the frozen ground was seeping into his fingers and back where his shirt and jacket had ridden up when he fell. The mix of burning and freezing felt like it was creating a tornado inside of him that he had no hope of controlling.
But, through all of this, there was a different pain. A burning, raw pain that was strangely wonderful.
After a few minutes, he was able to get enough oxygen to sit up slowly. He looked down at his leg and saw his jeans were torn. And there on his skin was a cut, it wasn’t deep, it barely broke the skin, but small drops of blood had made their way through to the surface.
As Nico looked at the blood and focused on the pain, a strange sense of calm washed over him. He gently rubbed his fingers over the wound, causing the blood to smear.
He gladly welcomed the calmness that was washing over him from the methodical motion. The pain was perfect. He felt numb despite the thick tears streaming down his face and soaking his shirt and jacket.
He knew he couldn’t stay there forever and that the monsters would soon find him, but he didn’t want to stop.
A growl in the distance eventually pulled him out of the hypnotic trance the wound had put him in, and slowly he pushed himself to his feet. Sharp spikes of pain shot through his body, but he ignored it and kept going. His whole body aced deep in his bones, but he had to keep going.
Then a voice chimed in from the back of his mind. Maybe you should let whatever that is kill you, then you’ll be with Bianca again. This frightened Nico, why was his head telling himself that he should die? Shaking his head, he started walking, even though it was closer to a limp, away from the growling and towards what he hoped was safety.