Chapter Text
I remember being taken over by England
Frere France weeping from the loss.
I never really made much noise because I was a small land
And speaking out made England cross.
It was scary to be forgotten one day,
I never believed it to be true,
But I suffered from being shunned by the world
Which made me lose interest, mon dieu.
Then came the wars
Both World War I and II.
I gathered my army
and sent in some troops.
Of course, all my men have died without justice upon them
for I am Canada who is easily forgotten.
Don’t you know that I am the second largest country?
With great mountains, valleys, and rivers aplenty?
Is ignorance of my superiority a great accomplishment?
Look at your environment!
You are all sadists!
That’s a world-doom requirement.
America, you always try to take over me.
The War of 1812 was real and pure agony.
Don’t be surprised when I kicked your ass
And sent you back to finish your inhumane acts.
My free health care beats you and your defense crap.
Your enslavement of the blacks was unbearably evil
Which contradicts your wish to be the hero.
The way you poke your nose in everyone’s business
Has made many civilians begging for Jesus.
You send bombs to countries without any shame.
The death of many people in history has your name!
Now, England, I see that you want and seek power.
Of course!
You were once the great British Empire,
But there is one thing that you have forgotten.
You may think you run me,
But I will never cower.
“Cross your legs, hold your tongue, and never gulp your tea.”
I defy you by turning the other cheek.
My language is French, and G*D don’t you know it.
You might have broken frere,
But I have not yet spoken.
Your torturous ways
And your pirating days.
They were your symbols of strength
And struck into me fear and more pain.
When America left you,
You cried in shame.
Seeing you in the rain, too,
Made my day.
Hello Frere France,
‘Tis your son Mattieu.
Si’l vous plait, just let me continue.
I thought you were my father
And loved me, so
I was really shocked when you let me go.
Do you know that I still speak French?
The language never left.
No matter how much England tried
It just changed instead.
I wept a little when I saw your war.
Your own people revolted
Against the thrown.
The depression sank in
And your economy gone.
Can you believe that it was all some cake’s fault?
Cuba, thank you for trying to be my friend.
You too, Russia, for being right at my hand.
Although you were communist and
An enemy to the US,
You have supported me in the worst and the best.
Of course, there were times that Cuba has hurt me.
Russia as well, since he was a conquering country.
That’s all in the past and relations are well.
Things are great so far,
Hopefully, in the future it still will.
South Korea, hello!
Can you see me?
We have made many trades
And you make great company.
I invest in you and you invest in me.
I believe in you and you believe in me.
Together, we give economy a new meaning.
What the hell did you say?
Are you ignoring me still?
I have no reason to stay
In this G*D forsaken hell!
Since I have spoken my mind
And released all the burden,
I will wait 'till the day I am wise and certain.
World domination will ensue.
You will be one with Canada,
Canada will not be one with you!
Wait for me, those who still do not see me.
I have broken records just for sharp-shooting!
Watch out for my strength since Canada is rising.
Once I am at the top
ALL WILL RECOGNIZE ME!
“Dude, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you, bro.”
“Who are you talking to, dim wit? There is no fairy there?”
“Where is my Mattieu? He has been skipping meetings! I blame this on you, England!”
“Shut up, Frog.”
“BLAME THE DAMN COMMUNISTS! My poor corrupted little bro!”
Prussia comes in from the corner and wraps his arms around Canada’s shoulders. He turns Canada’s head into his chest and Prussia places his chin on his head, rubbing Canada’s trembling back.
“Shh, Birdie. I am here.”
“I swear in the name of G*D that I will take over the world. Just wait.”
“I know, Birdie. I know.”