Chapter Text
NESTA GOES BACK IN TIME
CHAPTER 1: A SECOND CHANCE
It was all Rhysand’s fault. He was delusional. How could he possibly think he deserved to be the High King of Prythian? Even when he just ruled over the Night Court, two thirds of the court hated him. Nesta’s gut sank in shame. She had helped him. Played right into his hands. He used the Dread Trove and the blades she had made to demand all the High Lord’s knelt to him, and they did, or they died. Nesta’s heart was so heavy. Eris, her Eris was gone. Murdered by Rhysand and Feyre. Feyre, her own sister stood by while her mate killed the love of Nesta’s life.
The Valkyries were gone, everything good was gone. Nesta took a deep breath. She had nothing left to live for. If she was going to die, Rhysand was going with her.
She let her flames smother her. Silver flames were all over her body. Silver fire wings appeared behind her and a silver fire crown upon her head. She was holding Ataraxia, her blade. She took a breath and winnowed to Rhysand. His eyes went wide as her fire engulfed him. She pushed the blade into his gut.
Feyre screamed. Rhysand spat out blood and laughed ‘If you kill me witch, you kill your sister. We made a death pact’ Nesta smiled ‘My sister deserves death for what she has done’ His eyes widened as Nesta’s flames destroyed everything within a hundred-mile radius. She screamed in rage as she too was lost.
Slowly Nesta became aware that darkness had formed around her. Nesta was floating in a peaceful darkness. She felt calm. A soft voice spoke to her. It felt like a hug. ‘My daughter’ Nesta said sadly ‘I failed’ The voice answered softly ‘Yes, you did. Would you like the chance to make it right?’ Warmth spread through her ‘Yes, they should never have gotten my power, my blades or the Dread Trove. They never deserved them’ The voice said soothingly ‘You are right, my daughter. I will send you back. Only you will know the truth’ Nesta asked ‘Will I have to relearn how to wield my powers?’ The voice answered ‘No, that gift I give you freely. Your body will be trained and your magic, as trained as you were today’ Nesta said graciously ‘Thank you, I will do what I need to stop them. You can count on me’ The voice hummed ‘I know my little goddess. Make me proud’
Nesta sank through the clouds and with a jolt, she felt suddenly confined in a body again. She sat up, wide eyed. She was in a dark room. A long white, ugly nightgown covered her. She waved a hand igniting the fae lights. She was in her room in the House of Wind. She looked around anxiously and quickly put thick obsidian walls up in her mind. If Rhysand knew that she knew his plan, Nesta wouldn’t survive.
She scrambled out of bed and over to her bathroom. She had no shower fixture. She put a hand on the wall ‘Hello House, I am Nesta. We are going to be good friends. We both enjoy smutty romance novels’ Suddenly a book appeared in front of her. She grinned ‘Do you think you could add a waterfall over the bath? Unfortunately, I am traumatized from drowning’ A waterfall appeared. She smiled ‘Thank you so much!’
She stood under the waterfall and washed herself thoroughly. When she returned to her bedroom, a grey dress was laid out for her. She smiled ‘Thank you house’
Once she was dressed and her hair put in its usual coronet, she went to find Elain. Elain was in the bedroom next to her. She was laying on her bed. Eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. Nesta stared. It must be sometime in the couple of months Elain was like this after being made fae.
Morrigan was reading a book in the corner. She narrowed her eyes at Nesta. Nesta asked anxiously ‘No change?’ Mor shook her head.
Nesta stepped closer to Elain and held her hand. She rubbed circles with her thumb ‘Lainey it's Nesta. Please come back to us’ Elain’s eyes moved to hers. She looked vacant, distant.
Nesta turned to Morrigan ‘The one that claimed to be her mate. Get him’ Mor looked at her like she was crazy. Nesta huffed ‘He might be able to pull her out with the bond. Get him!’ Mor closed her book what a snap ‘We will not allow Lucien Vanserra in Velaris’ Nesta snapped ‘Okay, then we take Elain to him!’
Nesta crossed her arms ‘Feyre did mention Lucien to me, he is her friend’ Mor said as though explaining something to a toddler ‘Lucien and Feyre are currently in enemy territory. They are in Spring. Feyre is spying on Tamlin’
Nesta said dejectedly ‘Can’t someone get word to her to bring Lucien with her when she leaves?’ Mor shrugged ‘I don’t know when that will be. She has reported back to Rhys and has kept him apprised of the situation’ Nesta nodded ‘Can you please ask him to tell her we need Lucien. Maybe we can organise a quick visit, Elain can’t just stay like this! She looks lost!’ Mor gave her an understanding look ‘I will pass that on’
She frowned at Nesta ‘Why do you care about Elain and not Feyre?’ Nesta raised her eyebrows ‘Who said I didn’t care about Feyre?’ Mor huffed ‘You let her hunt when she was fourteen’
Nesta sat on the bed sighing ‘I was a child myself. I was raised to be a lady. Ladies didn’t hunt. Feyre was determined to go and there was nothing I could do to stop her. I asked her to teach me archery. She lasted two hours before giving up on me. I wasn’t learning fast enough’
Mor asked, ‘Why didn’t you teach her to read?’ Nesta answered ‘I didn’t realise she couldn’t read. She had tutors. She was eight when our mother died. We didn’t lose our fortune until she was eleven. She should have learnt well before that. If she had told me, I would have helped. I guess she was too proud’
Nesta asked ‘Did Feyre tell you, I went after her, after Tamlin took her?’ Mor shook her head looking surprised. Nesta confided ‘I hired a mercenary in town. She took me to the wall and showed me how to use a knife in a fight. We couldn’t find a way through the wall. I was planning on offering my life for Feyre’s’ Mor looked stunned ‘Why?’ Nesta said sharply ‘She is my little sister’
Mor sighed, ‘I am sorry, I misjudged you’ Nesta frowned ‘It sounds like Feyre gave a rather warped description of me’ Mor grinned ‘Yes, I guess a younger sisters perspective. Did you really do nothing in that cabin?’ Nesta looked stunned ‘I did the cooking and cleaning and bartering for goods at market. I looked after father. He couldn’t even get to the privy himself’ Mor nodded frowning. Nesta added ‘I was planning on marrying a horrible man, just to help my sisters survive a bit longer’
Mor asked quietly ‘Who?’ Nesta’s hands scrunched her skirt ‘Thomas Mandalay. When I told him I would no longer marry him. He tried to force himself on me’ Mor winced. Nesta confided ‘I bit off his ear and ran’ Mor grinned ‘Good on you’ Nesta sighed ‘At least now father won’t be able to sell us to the highest bidders’
Mor confided ‘My parents did just that. I was meant to marry Eris Vanserra. I was seventeen. I thought if I was no longer pure, I could get out of the marriage. I slept with Cassian. My father found out and he and my brothers beat me and nailed three nails into my womb. They dumped me on the Autumn Court border for Beron to find’
Nesta said wide eyed ‘That is horrible’ Mor nodded. Nesta asked ‘What happened next?’ Mor said sadly ‘My fiancé Eris found me with some of his smoke hounds. He left me there’ Nesta asked ‘Why would he leave you?’ Mor scoffed ‘I had made a fool of him. I sullied myself with a lesser fae’ Nesta frowned ‘Or maybe things would have been worse for you if he had taken you home?’ Mor gasped and looked at her hands ‘You might be right. Beron Vanserra is known for his cruelty’ Nesta nodded. Mor said ‘Azriel found me. He took me to Velaris, and I was allowed to stay here and not return to the Hewn City’
Nesta asked ‘Hewn City?’ Mor scowled ‘It’s a horrible city under a mountain full of horrible people’ Nesta nodded and said quietly ‘Children are born innocent; they learn cruelty from the adults around them. I doubt everyone is horrible that lives there. You came from there. I am sure others like you call the Hewn City home’ Mor looked up startled.
Nesta rubbed her head ‘How long has it been since we were forced into the cauldron?’ Mor answered, ‘A week’ Nesta nodded looking at Elain sadly ‘We can’t just leave her like this’ Mor confided ‘Madja, the healer says she is fine physically, just stuck in her mind’
Nesta stared at Elain ‘She had a human fiancé, Grayson. She wanted to marry him. I think she loved him’
Mor looked at Elain as if deciding whether to say something. She said quietly ‘Elain was pregnant. She lost the baby in the cauldron. Madja confirmed it’ Nesta looked at her tearily. She moved over and hugged Elain ‘Oh Elain, I am so sorry! I promise one day you will be happy again. I will make sure of it. You can have another baby. It won’t replace the one you lost, but it will help fill the void in your heart. You will be loved again, I promise’ Elain didn’t react. Mor was watching tearily.
Nesta asked ‘How are Cassian and Azriel?’ Mor smiled ‘They will be okay. Az is up already. Cassian has more healing to do’ Nesta nodded stiffly.
Mor frowned ‘You don’t like him?’ Nesta huffed ‘I find him aggressive. He wants me to feel small. I wish he would leave me alone’
Mor smiled ‘Ahhh that might just be the Illyrian in him. They are used to lording over their females. He is a good guy, I promise’
Nesta shrugged ‘He is a warrior’ Mor smiled ‘We all are. I am a trained fighter too’ Nesta looked at her. She said ‘I prefer dancing’ Mor grinned ‘I like dancing too. Each Court has different dances’ Nesta smiled ‘Good, I want to learn them all!’ Mor grinned ‘We will get you a dance instructor’ Nesta nodded ‘I would like that’
She rubbed her neck ‘I hate my father, but I can’t help wondering if he knows where we are or if he is going to find the estate empty and never know what happened’
Mor frowned ‘You hate your father?’ Nesta nodded ‘He didn’t fight for us. He would sooner let his daughters starve to death than swallow his pride and find a job. He let our mother and grandmother hurt me, he just turned a blind eye. He forced me to dress up and dance with much older suiters and entertain his gentleman friends. When I was fourteen, he had me dance with a thirty-year-old duke. The duke proposed marriage, but he didn’t accept. He was holding out for a prince’
Mor looked stunned ‘You were a courtier?’ Nesta nodded. Mor looked at her ‘You hold yourself like a Queen. I shouldn’t be surprised’
Nesta confided ‘Elain and Feyre were always jealous that I got so much of mother and grandmother’s attention. They were lucky their attention was on me. I covered for them so many times and got punished. Anything to protect my sisters’
Mor swallowed tearily ‘I am sorry Nesta. They don’t know do they?’ Nesta shook her head ‘No, I haven’t burdened them’ Mor hugged her. Nesta hugged her stiffly. She said ‘Sorry, no one really hugs me’ Mor hugged her tighter ‘Then you need hugs’ Nesta chuckled and hugged her back. She said ‘The house gave me a smutty romance novel’ Mor roared with laughter. Nesta grinned.