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Soonyoung loves his birthday.
He loves his birthday, he loves birthday gifts, and birthday surprises, and he loves how all the attention is on him all the time, all day.
And this is something that is well known by everyone around him, because, well, he never shuts up about it.
Still, he really loves his birthday, and he likes to get everyone to know because that way, they will know that he likes receiving attention and gifts.
So of course, when he receives gifts even days before his birthday, he is not surprised. And then, finally, the day arrives.
Sunlight streamed through the window and a gentle breeze rustled the curtains. A smile crept across his face as he stretched, feeling the sun's warmth on his skin. It’s finally his birthday.
When he looks at Jihoon’s side of the bed, Jihoon is not there. He squeals excitedly, and gets off the bed. “Jihoon?”, he asks out loud as he walks outside his room.
He finds Jihoon playing games on his phone sitting on the living room couch. He gets closer and Jihoon pauses the game to look at him. “The birthday boy is awake!”, he exclaims, as a smile reaches his face and his eyes are glimmering, and he embraces Soonyoung.
Soonyoung hugs back tightly with a big smile on his face. That kind of smile where you could almost not see his eyes. “Happy birthday, my love,” Jihoon says as he pulls back to look at his boyfriend’s face, and caresses his cheek. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too Jihoonie,” Soonyoung says. He feels so warm and complete when Jihoon hugs him, he never wants this feeling to stop. Ever.
When the clock hits 7pm, Soonyoung’s friends start to arrive at their apartment.
The first to arrive is Seungkwan, who brought him a tiger stuffed animal shaped like a pillow.
Then Seokmin arrives with his gift, which is two pairs of boxers (he really needed those, okay?).
Chan gets him a nice watch (“I know you have no idea how to tell the hour from a clock, but just try to learn, Soonyoung – You’re 28 now”, he said. Blah blah blah. He will just wear it and if he needs to check the time, he has his phone.).
Mingyu and Jeonghan are not able to come over since they were stuck on the night shift from their jobs, but they will hang out at another time.
As the night continues to fall, Soonyoung has his hand resting on Jihoon’s thigh, and they are all drinking beer and talking about anything and everything.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Jihoon says, taking Soonyoung’s hand and giving it a kiss. “Be right back, guys.”
Soonyoung smiles at him and says a little ‘okay’ as he leaves, and right away Seungkwan scoots over and signals everyone to get closer.
“Spill the beans,” Seungkwan whispers, loud enough for everyone to hear, but quiet enough so his voice can’t be overheard. “What did Jihoon get you as a gift!?”, he excitedly asks.
Soonyoung is grinning as he answers. This is his first birthday with Jihoon. “He hasn’t given me the gift yet.”
“Oooooh,” Chan says. “It must be something big! And he wants to close the night with it!”
“Oh my god,” Seokmin exclaims dramatically. “God, when will it be my turn!?”
Soonyoung slaps Seokmin jokingly to get him to shut up as Jihoon comes back from the bathroom and smiles at them. Jihoon knows that his boyfriend’s friends are insane, so he does not even bother to ask what they are talking about.
Around 11pm, his friends decide to leave.
Seungkwan also decides that Chan is going to stay over at his house because he is so, so drunk. He kept latching onto Seungkwan’s arm and repeatedly confessed how much he loved his smell, to which the latter just rolled his eyes.
They had a weird friendship, those two. It almost seemed like they hated each other, but they also couldn’t live without one another.
Seokmin and Jeonghan had this bet going on that one of these days those two were going to make out and end up being the most annoying couple you have ever met. If they did, Seokmin had to pay 50 bucks to Jeonghan.
Soonyoung kind of agreed with Jeonghan. They just seemed like that unlikely couple that, even though you can’t believe it, they just were meant to be.
Just like him and Jihoon.
When they first met, Soonyoung thought that their personalities were way too different, but they made it work so well.
Everyone loved them as a couple. All of Jihoon’s friends thought that he finally found his perfect match, and all of Soonyoung’s friends were relieved that someone could finally handle his insanity.
And things were just so easy with Jihoon. Nothing was ever complicated. When it got complicated, they always figured it out pretty easily, together, and then the day would end with kisses on cheeks and cuddling until they fell asleep, happy to be each other’s home.
So when the clock was about to hit 12am for it to become another day, and Jihoon hadn’t given him a gift, he did not worry: he was just going to talk it out and see what is going on.
Before Soonyoung can even mention it, Jihoon speaks up. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you a gift,” an expression of sorrow filled his features. “I just have been so busy and stressed with work…”, he trails off, as if he’s deep in thought.
Soonyoung’s eyebrows are drawn together, his mouth is turned slightly downward. He opens his mouth to speak, and Jihoon’s eyes are looking directly at him. He feels pressured to say something. He knows that Jihoon wouldn’t ever pressure him, but he just feels like he needs to speak now.
“It’s fine,” he says, softly.
Jihoon looks at him with his lips pursed together, and he does not seem very convinced, but he asks: “Really?”
Soonyoung nods, and opens his arms to hug Jihoon. Jihoon nuzzles his face into his neck. “Yeah, it’s fine,” he reassures him.
“I’m sorry,” Jihoon says again. “I should have bought something,” he trails off again. “Anything.”
Soonyoung places his chin on Jihoon’s shoulder and feels tears welling up in his eyes. “It’s fine,” he repeats, almost like he is reassuring himself as well, while he caresses his boyfriend’s back. “It’s fine.”
It’s fine, he thinks to himself. It’s fine, really.
Jihoon’s love for him is far more valuable than any gift.
“Can you believe this?”, Seungkwan said, scoffing, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone. “Chan had a date today with that Ye-won girl.”
Soonyoung had visited Seungkwan that Saturday afternoon because, honestly, he had nothing else going on in his life. He had mentioned to Jihoon that he wanted to go out somewhere nice, but that was off the table as soon as Soonyoung said it, because Jihoon told him that he wasn’t in the mood of going out.
Soonyoung understood. Sometimes, he is not in the mood to go out either.
Also, he really liked spending time with Seungkwan.
“Hm? Oh yes,” Soonyoung nodded as he took a sip of his orange juice. “He told me about that.”
“He doesn’t even like her,” Seungkwan muttered, a hint of frustration in his voice.
“Did he tell you that?” Soonyoung asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend’s statement.
“No…,” he hesitates with his gaze drifting away. “But it’s obvious. She has been chasing him for months and he has always seemed annoyed by her.”
A smirk appeared on Soonyoung’s face, and he chose his words carefully. “Well,” Soonyoung says. “Feelings can change over time.”
Seungkwan’s eyes widened, his gaze snapping back to Soonyoung. “I guess,” he replied, trying his very best to sound indifferent.
Soonyoung had a playful glint in his eye and leaned back sipping his drink.
Seungkwan, desperate to change the subject, asked casually, “So, how is Jihoon doing?”
Soonyoung hesitated, a subtle shift in his expression. “He’s... okay, I guess. Busy with work, as usual.”
Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at him. “Is it a lot?”
The other sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “He has been very stressed lately. He never has time for anything. It’s taking a toll on him.”
“And to you?” Seungkwan pressed. “Is it a lot to you?”
Soonyoung’s gaze flickered away. “We’re… We’re fine. Just different, I think.”
Seungkwan nodded, his eyebrows furrowed together, deep in thought. Soonyoung knew that his best friend knew him way too well. He had to say more.
He hesitated again, and then sighed. “I’m scared,” he says. “We have been drifting apart. We never go on dates anymore,” he says, and it’s like a million daggers are being thrown at his chest. “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but… I haven’t even gotten a birthday gift or a birthday date, and it has been two weeks since.”
Seungkwan’s heart ached for his friend. He knew how much Soonyoung cared for Jihoon. “Have you mentioned this to him?”, his voice filled with concern.
Soonyoung nodded. “Just earlier today. I asked him if we could go on a date,” he trailed off, disappointment shining through his words. “He said he was not in the mood of going out.”
Seungkwan’s eyebrows furrowed. “That sounds so unlike him,” he softly replies, “Maybe something is bothering him.”
“I don’t know,” his voice breaks a little but he manages to talk clearly. “I just feel like it’s not enough anymore.”
This is the first time Soonyoung has fallen in love this deeply. He has never cared about someone as much as he cares for Jihoon. The fact that he felt like he was not being considered hurt him a lot.
Seungkwan’s eyes softened. “I know how much you care about him. Maybe you should give him some time. And eventually, if nothing changes for the better, you can talk to him again.”
Soonyoung nodded, a mix of sadness and hope clear on his face. “Thanks, Kwannie.”
When Soonyoung left, Seungkwan couldn’t shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong. He knew his best friend like the palm of his hand.
He just hoped that things would eventually get better for them.
Something is terribly wrong with Soonyoung these days.
Wonwoo [7/18, 7:48pm]
Hey, I was just thinking about you. I hope you are doing well.
Soonyoung read the text from Wonwoo again. And again. Then again.
He looks across the living room to where Jihoon, his boyfriend of two years, is currently sitting.
Soonyoung really loves Jihoon. And he is sure Jihoon loves him a lot, too.
Then why is he feeling butterflies over a text from Wonwoo?
Wonwoo had been his crush a few years ago. It was like, a dumb crush that he had back in college. He never did anything about it, and he and Wonwoo didn’t even talk to each other that often anymore.
That is why this text seems so… weird.
It is making him feel all weird in his stomach, and his eyes kind of water at the thought of Wonwoo typing this while thinking about him.
Is it destiny? Is this, like, the universe trying to tell Soonyoung something?
He looks over to Jihoon, who is playing some game on his phone with a concentrated look on his face.
Or maybe he is just overthinking all of this.
The truth is, he has been feeling quite shitty lately when it came to his relationship with Jihoon.
This is the first time he has thought about this as deeply, but it’s no lie that every night, before drifting off to sleep, the future has been in his mind.
And every scene that crosses his mind about his future, doesn’t include Jihoon.
Soonyoung really loves Jihoon.
And he is sure Jihoon loves him a lot, too.
He thinks back to a month before, their first Valentine’s Day together.
Soonyoung had been thinking for months about the gift he should give to Jihoon. After months of thinking, he bought him a guitar that he knows Jihoon has been eyeing for way too long, but has been hesitant whether to buy it or not.
He thought of the smile that would appear on Jihoon’s face as soon as he saw his present and he couldn’t help but grin to himself.
When February 14th arrived, he woke up and started making breakfast for both of them. He was humming softly to one of those corny love songs stuck in his head these last days. The light of the sunny morning was entering through the kitchen window softly, as if it didn’t want to bother anyone, and it was just a good day for Soonyoung.
He didn’t even give a fuck about Valentine’s Day.
But he really loved Jihoon.
As he cracked an egg open to mix it with the rest of the ingredients for the breakfast pancakes, he felt Jihoon’s arms around his waist, and Jihoon gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he said, ruffling his hands through Soonyoung’s hair.
As a response, Soonyoung laughed. Before he could even answer, he spoke up again. “Close your eyes and extend your hands,” and he does so. He places something in his hands and says, “Open your eyes.”
Soonyoung opens his eyes and looks at his hands. Oreos.
He thinks for a moment, and blinks once.
It feels like his brain has stopped functioning.
“Cookies?”, Soonyoung asks, a skeptical look on his face.
Jihoon tilts his head, with his eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you liked Oreos. I just didn’t want the day to go by without giving you anything at all.”
Soonyoung cannot believe what he’s hearing right now. He breathes in, scans the Oreos package in his hand, and proceeds to open it. He gives one Oreo to Jihoon, and has one for himself.
He starts eating the cookie right away. Maybe he is just being selfish. Maybe he is ungrateful. Jihoon has many things going on in his life, of course, he does not have the time to think of a greater gift.
Also, he does love cookies, specifically Oreos. It would be much worse if he hadn’t given him the Oreos. Right?
Right?
He catches a glimpse of him sitting at the kitchen table cutely eating the cookie while scrolling down in his Instagram feed. He breaks the silence, “Your gift is in the closet of the guest bedroom.”
Jihoon’s ears perk up at this and he excitedly stands up, “Really!? You didn’t have to buy me anything!” and he runs off to the guest bedroom.
The sun is now aggressively taking over all the space in the kitchen and Soonyoung closes the curtain slightly. He finishes cooking the last pancake and serves it all in two plates.
He sits down, and starts eating a bite of his breakfast.
Jihoon comes over to the kitchen running with the guitar in his hands, “I can’t believe this! I’m the happiest guy ever!”, he said, with the biggest smile on his face.
Soonyoung grinned at him as he took another bite, “I thought you would like it.”
“Like it!? Babe I LOVE it!”, he kisses his boyfriend’s cheek and starts strumming one of those love songs that he knows Soonyoung loves.
The vibrating of a random notification from his phone interrupts his thoughts regarding that Valentine’s Day.
He decides to reply to Wonwoo’s text.
Soonyoungie [7/18, 8:03pm]
Thank you for thinking about me!
I really needed this message :)
He locks his phone, puts it in their living room bedroom, and decides to start watching a show on the TV as Jihoon kept playing his new guitar.
Soonyoung’s hands are intertwined with Wonwoo’s as they stumble across the dimly lighted room, drunk off their minds and giggling like high-schoolers.
Wonwoo suddenly pulls Soonyoung closer to him, their bodies pressed together. Soonyoung’s mind races, and his heart pounds in his chest. This is wrong. This is so wrong.
Wonwoo’s eyes are staring at his, drawing him in, and he notices how Wonwoo’s eyes shift from his eyes to his lips. Their lips collide in a messy kiss. He shouldn’t be doing this. Tongues tangle, their teeth clink, Soonyoung almost wants to laugh at how desperate this is but a low groan escapes his lips instead, and he pulls Wonwoo closer.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Soonyoung breathes.
Wonwoo has a smirk on his face while his fingers are tugging at Soonyoung's hair, and so their kiss deepens, growing more intense.
And then Soonyoung hears his name being called.
“Soonyoungie? Earth to Soonyoung?” Jihoon was waving his hand in front of Soonyoung’s face. Soonyoung’s eyes widen when he realizes what is happening, his heart still pounding. He can still feel the warmth of Wonwoo's lips on his own. He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and his boyfriend speaks again. “Are you okay?”
He blinked. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, forcing a smile.
Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “You just seemed a bit… distracted.”
A pang of guilt shoots through him. He breathes and shrugs. “Just thinking, I guess.”
Jihoon looked a bit skeptical about his response, but he let it go. “I was just asking if you wanted to have pizza for dinner.”
“Sure, why not,” he replied. The scene kept replaying in his head.
Oh god, he really is going insane.
Jihoon is a really great guy.
Everyone agrees on that.
He loves animals and takes care of them when he can, he is nice to his family, he is always nice to strangers in the street, he's always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it, he is humble, empathetic, honest, and patient.
When they started dating, and they would inevitably discuss over some random things, Soonyoung had the habit of shutting down and not speaking to him.
Jihoon would ask questions and try to mend things, to which Soonyoung wouldn’t be able to answer. It wasn’t like a silent treatment; it was more so that words just wouldn’t come out of Soonyoung’s mouth.
Every time this happened, Soonyoung would start feeling sick to his stomach. ‘Jihoon is expecting an answer’, he would think to himself. ‘You are such a bad boyfriend. You need to get better at communicating.’
His stomach would twist into knots, each breath a painful reminder of what an awful boyfriend he was. And then, tears would stream down his face, blurring his vision.
This episode used to last around 40 minutes. 40 minutes of silence and crying from Soonyoung. The whole time, Jihoon would only caress his back, and give him the time to process his thoughts and feelings. He would never pressure Soonyoung, even when he was hurting and expecting an answer from him.
Jihoon was so nice to him.
When he was too lazy to get out of bed, Jihoon would allow him to sleep. “You work so hard,” he would say, “You need to rest. Stay in bed.”
Then, he would get out of bed himself (even if he was lazy too), and would start cooking breakfast for him. He would finish cooking and doing the dishes, and the smell of coffee and fresh pancakes would fill Soonyoung’s nose from the crack below their bedroom door.
It was so nice to be taken care of.
Still, here he was. At a café, sipping on his latte vanilla, anxiously waiting for Wonwoo to arrive, the warmth doing little to soothe his anxious mind.
It’s not only that he was out without Jihoon to see another guy that he used to like. It’s that he never actually told Jihoon where he was going. ‘I’m going over to Seungkwan’s house’, he said, before heading out, and kissing his boyfriend goodbye.
He was such a bad boyfriend.
Jihoon is not even aware that he used to have a crush on Wonwoo. Jihoon does not even know Wonwoo, apart from a few mentions here and there when Soonyoung talked about his college times.
So when Wonwoo opens the door to the café, and Soonyoung feels his breath hitch in his throat at the sight, he could also feel his heart pounding in his chest as he thinks about Jihoon.
Funnily enough, as Wonwoo makes eye contact with him across the place, the thought of Jihoon leaves his mind almost immediately. He waves in Wonwoo’s direction.
Wonwoo smiles at him as he makes his way towards the table. Soonyoung’s heart raced. He had forgotten how much Wonwoo’s eyes and his smile had an impact on him.
As Wonwoo settled into his seat, a comfortable silence fell between them, and Soonyoung smiled at him.
“Do you want to order anything?”, a waitress had asked as she passed by their table, interrupting their exchanging of smiles and looks.
“A cappuccino is fine,” Wonwoo said, flashing a smile towards the girl. “So,” he continued, this time looking at Soonyoung across the table with a smirk on his face. “Missed me?”
Soonyoung rolled his eyes as a response.
“More like, you missed me,” Sooyoung let out a laugh. “You were the one who texted me first.”
Wonwoo shrugged with a smile on his face. “I just thought about you and wanted to touch base with you.”
The soft glow of the café illuminated Wonwoo’s face as he spoke. Soonyoung found himself drawn to his every word, his every gesture. It had been years since they’d last seen each other, yet it felt as if no time had passed at all.
“Remember that time we convinced Mingyu to dye his hair pink?” Wonwoo chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
Soonyoung laughed so hard his stomach was hurting already. “Why did he even agree to it? That was insane!”
“Well, we insisted that he would look hotter with pink hair,” Wonwoo replied, grinning. “He looked like a walking cotton candy!”
After they had finished their coffees while they reminisced about old times in college, Wonwoo asked a question that left Soonyoung speechless.
“Are you still dating that guy from your Instagram stories?”
Soonyoung froze, his expression dropping. He glanced at Wonwoo, a flicker of panic in his eyes. "Yeah," he managed to stammer out, his voice barely a whisper. "Jihoon. We're still together."
Wonwoo had a knowing glint in his eyes. "He seems like a nice guy."
A wave of guilt washed over Soonyoung. "He is," Soonyoung replied. Wonwoo nodded with an unreadable expression on his face.
Soonyoung is such a bad boyfriend.
Jihoon was so nice to him.
Wonwoo had changed the subject right away, and they spent the rest of the afternoon together, lost in conversation.
As the sun began to set, Wonwoo and Soonyoung stood outside the cafè. A comfortable silence accompanied them, and the faint sound of traffic could be heard.
“I had a great time today,” Wonwoo said, smiling at Soonyoung, who smiled back almost immediately.
“Me too,” Soonyoung could feel his heart pounding.
A moment passed, unspoken words lingering in the air. “I’ll see you around, Soonyoungie,” Wonwoo said, a small smile playing on his lips.
Soonyoung smiled at the nickname. “See you around, Wonwoo,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Soonyoung turned and walked away, a smile on his face, until he felt a rush of regret going through his body.
He couldn’t deny the thrill of spending time with Wonwoo again.
Jihoon was so nice to him. So kind, so patient, so understanding.
The city lights twinkled, and Soonyoung thought about the future again.
In his mind, his future didn’t include Jihoon.
A single tear rolled down his cheek.
Wonwoo reached out to hold Soonyoung’s chin, leaning down to press his lips to his, the action made Soonyoung’s heart skip and his stomach flip, Wonwoo’s hands rubbing at his waist. Soonyoung took Wonwoo’s bottom lip between his teeth, gently holding it for a few seconds before releasing it. Wonwoo moaned at the action, and Soonyoung was grinning at him.
“Do you want another piece of cake?”, Mingyu’s voice interrupted Soonyoung’s thoughts running through his mind.
A warm blush reached Soonyoung’s face when he realized that he was daydreaming while his friends were playing videogames in Seungkwan’s place. Soonyoung rapidly shook his head, “No, that’s fine.”
He turned his attention back to the game, his mind still reeling from the scene that was previously in his mind. The image of Wonwoo’s lips on his lingered, he glanced at Mingyu and Seungkwan, engrossed in their game and their laughter filling the room.
Chan was sitting next to Seungkwan, subtly touching his arm while looking straight at the videogame playing in front of them. It was funny, how much they actually liked each other.
Soonyoung did his best to focus on the game with his friends, and even commented on how Mingyu was really bad at it.
In the back of his mind, the image of Wonwoo moaning in between kisses, haunted all of his being.
He didn’t know what to do with himself anymore.
It was a Saturday night, and Soonyoung was hanging out with all of his friends at a bar downtown. He was not really in the mood of drinking, but he agreed to go to celebrate Mingyu’s birthday.
The music was loud, Soonyoung was chatting with Seungkwan and Chan while drinking beer.
He looked around the room and his gaze landed on a familiar face. Wonwoo. A grin spread across Soonyoung’s face and he stood up, walking towards Wonwoo’s table.
Wonwoo had turned his head to look at him, a surprised look on his face, “Soonyoung!”, he exclaimed, clearly in a drunken state as well.
“Hey, Wonwoo,” he said, his voice a bit slurred.
They chatted for a few minutes, and the conversation started flowing easily.
Soonyoung’s gaze was suddenly directed toward his friends’ table across the room. His jaw dropped as he realized that Seungkwan and Chan were fully making out at the corner of the table.
Wonwoo looked in that direction and chuckled as he saw what Soonyoung was reacting to. “Are those your friends?”
“Huh?”, he looked taken aback at the question, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, it’s just… I knew they liked each other but I didn’t think they were going to do this tonight,” he laughed.
Wonwoo had a grin plastered on his face and shook his head. “Drunk people do not give anything much thought.”
“True,” Soonyoung said, as he noticed Seokmin, Mingyu, and Jeonghan watching the scene with amused expressions, and then suddenly Seokmin was handing 50 bucks to Jeonghan. Right, the bet. He could swear he saw Jeonghan say ‘I told you so’ with a smug expression in his face and he laughed softly at that.
Soonyoung and Wonwoo continued to talk, they shared stories and laughed, and they even danced a little. With each passing drink, the tension between them continued to grow, and the line between friendship and something more was blurred.
Suddenly, Mingyu appeared next to Soonyoung. “Sorry,” he said, his words slurred, looking at Wonwoo. “Soonyoungie, we need to go. Seungkwan and Chan are so drunk and fighting too much.”
Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “They were making out literally an hour ago!”, he exclaimed laughing, but he stood up to say goodbye to Wonwoo.
Mingyu laughed as well and waved at Wonwoo as he made his way towards his friend group again.
Wonwoo waved back and stood up as well. "I had a really good time tonight," Wonwoo said, looking directly at Soonyoung’s face.
Soonyoung's heart pounded. He met Wonwoo's gaze, and a silent conversation passed between them. A slow, lingering smile spread across his face. "Me too," he replied.
They waved at each other and Wonwoo went back to his friend group.
Soonyoung felt as if his body was electrified, and his heart was pounding with excitement. However, when he arrived at his friend’s table, he noticed Jeonghan giving him a concerned look with his lips pursed.
Then he thought about Jihoon.
He felt so bad because that whole time with Wonwoo, his boyfriend didn’t even cross his mind, and he felt like throwing up.
He took a deep breath and promised himself to stop acting like an asshole.
No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you, and you know you hurt him too.
Even though Soonyoung has not actually kissed or been with Wonwoo on a physical level, his mind keeps betraying him and going back to a moment in which they are together and Jihoon doesn’t exist in his life.
He knows this is wrong.
Jihoon was so nice to him.
However, over the span of the last few months, he has felt his interest in Jihoon and their relationhip rapidly decrease. And, honestly, Jihoon was not doing anything about it.
Soonyoung had begged Jihoon several times for them to go on dates and to change their routine for the better, and it felt as if Soonyoung was talking to a wall.
If other people saw their relationship, they would think they are meant to be and nothing is ever wrong between them. They just get along well, and everyone notices that chemistry.
Jihoon was still a nice guy, and Soonyoung liked talking to him. He just does not see being with him in his future anymore.
No one tells you that it is possible for someone to be a good guy, and still not be the one for you.
He knows that he should end his relationship with Jihoon.
It’s been two months since he saw Wonwoo at that bar, and the images from his daydreaming of Wonwoo kissing him still haunted his mind.
It’s not even that Soonyoung felt something strong for Wonwoo, but he did dream of cracking locks and throwing all his life to the wolves for something interesting to happen in his life for once.
Is he going insane?
He is scrolling down on his Instagram page, and he sees a post from Wonwoo.
It was a picture of a guy, apparently running through a field of flowers, the sun shined beautifully above him as a big smile was showing in his face. The caption was a red heart.
Wonwoo was not a man of many words. But the fact that he posted this guy, means a lot. They must be dating.
Soonyoung sees the post and it's almost like a million bricks have hit him in the head.
Jihoon is across the room cleaning some drink that had spilled from last night, and he raises his face from looking down at the table to Soonyoung's face. When he catches a glimpse of Soonyoung's face, he smiles.
Soonyoung thinks for a moment and hesitantly smiles back.
That’s the moment he knew.
It’s been two weeks since Soonyoung broke up with Jihoon.
Soonyoung wishes he hated him. He wishes that Jihoon was worse to him. He also wishes that this wasn’t true. He wishes that he didn’t mean this.
He thought that he finally knew how love was supposed to be, and how it was supposed to feel.
Then how come that his whole being is filled only with sadness, resentment, and anger?
It used to be so easy, with him and Jihoon.
Until it wasn’t, anymore.
He thinks of all the words he should have said, or that he could have said, and maybe it would have saved them from this terrible destiny.
As he cleaned his room and saved Jihoon’s things in a box, he thought about how he hoped that Jihoon found someone else who included him in their future.
Maybe, just maybe, love was going to find Soonyoung again.
Just not this time.