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“Calum, are you up for a cuddle?”
Calum hears those words as they spill from his band mate’s mouth and they stop him cold. He’s hesitant but still finds himself budging over to make room in the bottom bunk for Luke. The other boy’s skin feels warm as he slips beneath the covers. The night air is also warm but being this close to Luke still gives Calum goose bumps.
Cuddling on the tour bus has become a regular thing between all the guys. They’ve become unusually close after so many months of living together. Calum’s grown used to it with Mikey and Ashton but with Luke it’s different. Different because of how it makes him feel. Different because of what usually happens once they start.
Luke’s not wearing a shirt as he presses himself against Calum’s chest. Luke lets out a contented sigh as he gets comfortable, his head settling beneath Calum’s chin perfectly. Calum wraps an arm around Luke’s waist in an almost careful manner and Luke seems to pick up on his wariness.
“Are you okay?” He whispers quietly.
Calum swallows hard in his throat as he contemplates how to answer him. I mean how do you tell your best friend you're in love with him?
“I’m fine.” He says quickly, chickening out.
Luke seems happy with the answer but Calum can’t shake away his uneasiness. Only a few moments pass before he feels Luke pressing his ass up against his front. The friction’s too much to be ignored. He’s hard in no time and he knows Luke can feel it through the thin material they’re both wearing.
Calum tries extricating himself from Luke but there isn’t much room in the tiny bunk. Luke turns himself around and it’s all Calum can do to avoid his questioning gaze.
“What’s the matter? Aren’t you in the mood?” he whispers against the shell of Calum’s ear.
Not in the mood! Fuck, of course he’s in the mood! He’s just sick of not knowing just what they are to each other. Luke’s never indicated they’re more than just friends but yet they’ve been fucking for weeks now. Calum’s just been too afraid to confront the other boy. What if all they are to each other are friends with benefits? He’s not quite sure he can handle that.
“Of course I am.” He whispers nervously back.
He presses his lips softly against Luke’s mouth. Quietly, they exchange kisses, their legs becoming entangled as they continue to explore one another. Calum can feel Luke, hard and heavy against his thigh and instinctively he finds himself grinding up against the other boy. He can feel Luke’s fingers as they linger over the edge of his boxers; his own hands are caught within Luke’s blonde quiff.
“Fuck…Calum.” Luke moans, a bit louder than intended.
Calum places his hand over Luke’s mouth, both shushing him and giggling at the same time.
“You trying to get us caught?”
Luke grins as he pulls Calum’s hand away from his mouth.
“I can’t help it you turn me on so much, besides Mike and Ashton sleep like rocks.”
“Luke, I’m not sure we should do this tonight.” Calum says as he rolls over onto his back.
He catches a glimpse of Luke’s disappointed pout out of the corner of his eye. He feels a twinge of remorse before remembering that he has nothing to feel guilty for. After all, it’s not like they’re boyfriends or anything.
“I don’t get it. You never say no.” Luke whispers back, the sad look still upon his face.
“Well maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you’re getting spoiled.”
“What the fuck? Somebody’s having their monthly I take it!” Luke spits out.
Calum knows he’s pissed off the blonde and it worries him just a bit.
“Luke, I’m sorry. Don’t go…” He sits up and stops Luke from leaving.
Luke does stop but turns to face Calum.
“Why are you acting so weird?” He questions.
“I…I… don’t know.” Calum whispers the lie. He knows exactly what’s bothering him but he’s afraid to voice it aloud. Afraid he’ll push Luke away. Afraid he’ll lose his very best friend.
“Come on, Luke, let’s cuddle some more.” Calum says to cover the awkwardness.
“I don’t care about cuddling. You know what I want.” Luke says the words as he once again presses himself against Calum’s front. Calum can feel exactly what it is Luke wants. He can feel that same want welling up within despite the doubt he’s also feeling.
“I know…” He whispers. “So stay…”
He pulls Luke even closer, their mouths meshing once again in a somewhat sloppy yet passionate kiss. He loves Luke, he can’t say no.
That kiss turns into so much more. Calum feels a familiar heat rise up in him as his fingers skim across Luke’s naked skin. He wants him and it’s inevitable that he’ll have him. But this is the first time he feels remorse for wanting Luke the way he does. This isn’t just sex to him and he feels guilty for pretending that it is.
Calum almost pulls back at the last minute but one look into Luke’s lust blown eyes has him changing his mind. As usual, he can’t say no to his gorgeous blonde bandmate. It feels good thrusting inside of Luke, his movements slow yet calculated. Calum can feel the warmth of Luke’s breath against his neck as he presses in even deeper. Luke lets out a desperate gasp and that’s when the words slip from Calum’s lips. They’re quiet and Luke doesn’t seem like he heard so Calum figures he’s in the clear so he continues his movements, thrusting harder now.
“Fuck, Cal!” Luke cries out loudly, biting Calum’s shoulder to stifle the noise.
Calum can feel the wet splash of Luke’s release between them and he pumps a bit harder, trying to find his own. Luke buries his face against Calum’s chest making soft noises that get Calum hot and it isn’t that long before he too is coming hard inside of Luke’s body. He’s panting hard as he rolls off of Luke, his body shaking with the after effects of the sex they just enjoyed. Everything’s quiet except for the soft hum of the bus as it drives on into the night. They lay there side by side, neither reaching out for the other. It’s Luke who breaks the silence and his words are unexpected.
“Did you mean what you said?” He whispers to Calum.
Calum tries hard to play dumb.
“When I said what?” He says with a half-hearted giggle.
“Come on Cal, you know what I’m talking about. What you whispered in my ear while we were fucking…did you mean it?” Luke says, this time his voice more persistent.
“What if I did?” Calum replies.
He covers his face with his hand, not wanting Luke to see that he really did mean it. That those words mean everything to him and that Luke’s rejection might just break him.
“Calum, look at me.” Luke whispers as he pulls at Calum’s hand.
Calum looks into Luke’s blue eyes, not knowing what to expect but afraid nonetheless. Luke slides his thumb softly down the side of Calum’s face then leans in to kiss him softly on the lips.
“I love you too, Calum. I always have.” Luke says the words quietly but with conviction.
“Really…?” Calum can’t hold back the shock from his voice because Luke’s reaction is a far cry from what he’d been expecting.
Luke’s only response is to smile and nod his head.
“So all this time…?” Calum questions in a disbelieving voice.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Luke replies, the smile on his face getting bigger.
Calum pulls Luke into a hug and squeezes him tightly, whispering I love you over and over into his ear. He can’t believe how lucky he’s gotten. First the band thing and now Luke loves him. Life just couldn’t possibly get any better than this.