Archive of Our Own

Eddie brings Buck home.

Buck can’t help but fidget in his seat as they drive back to Eddie’s place. It’s not new. On the contrary, Buck thinks he is more familiar with the Diaz house than his own too cold and empty loft that is a reminder of well less than good things. 

He wrings his hands nervously and looks out the window to temper down the anxiousness. It does very little to help. As they draw closer to the house, Buck feels his stomach churn. His hand shoots out and wraps around Eddie’s wrist with a soft whine. 

Eddie takes a quick glance before turning back to the road after making sure Buck isn’t in need of immediate assistance. 

“What’s wrong? ” He asks, drawing his right hand away from the steering. He casually flips their hands so that his hand engulfs Buck’s completely. Buck puts that aside to think about it later when his stomach isn’t churning. 

“Don’t know…I just don’t feel good,” Buck says, biting his lower lip, arm curling around his middle.

“Hey, we can go to the loft if you want. You just need to have someone with you. Doesn’t matter where it is,” He reassures, giving a gentle squeeze to the blonde’s hand.

Buck shakes his head and huffs in annoyance. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why am I…Eddie…Chris…” He doesn’t finish the dialogue nor the thought that has him curling into himself.

“What about Chris?” There’s an edge to his voice and Buck knows that Eddie has always been protective of his son above all else but Buck’s never found himself on the receiving end of the distrust. It is not quiet distrust just yet. He sounds a little concerned, hand still firm around Buck’s hand, not withdrawing. 

The thing is Buck knows. He knows. That’s the first and only thing he’d asked Johnathan when Eddie wasn’t in the room. 

Does this have any effects on children? Do I need to stay away from…

He hadn’t completed the thought back then either. He can still hear Johnathan’s voice ringing in his ear with a tinge of sadness and disappointment. 

It’s different for everyone, Buck. The new Omega is very…I don’t want to upset you nor do I want you to think too much on this. Your body and mind are still trying to adapt to this new change and it’s not your fault. You’re going to feel a lot of things. Things that have nothing to do with how you actually want things or feel about them, so I need you to know that however you feel is valid. 

He’d put his clipboard down and sat down in the waiting chair rubbing his temple. There was weariness in his eyes and a very different kind of heaviness on his shoulders. 

Newly developing Omegas have a very complicated relationship with parenthood and kids in general. They cannot reconcile with the idea…Well like I told you before, sometimes during the transition the Omegas lose fertility even before they have a chance to get familiar with the fact that they could…that their choice has been taken away once again just like their designation and secondary gender so the emotions revolving around all that are very high, heavy and confusing. Some Omegas develop chronic depression at the loss and others grow to resent the very idea of kids. 

He’d let out a shuddering sigh before composing himself and sitting up straighter with a determined look.

Your case is very rare, Buck. Despite your medical history, your body not only withstood the change but adapted to it as well. You are very lucky. But that also means there are a lot of things you need to be careful with. You might feel threatened by the kid’s presence. You might feel pressured now that you know there might be some sort of expectations attached to you now by none other than yourself. If I’m not wrong and excuse me for overstepping, you’re worried about Eddie’s son Christopher, right?

Buck had opted to look away and blink the tears from his eyes at the mere thought of feeling anything but love for the kid who he’d come to see as…Once again Buck forced his thoughts to halt.

You’ll be fine and no one’s going to blame you for feeling any way ok. I’m sure Christopher is a delightful child and he’ll understand and if you still feel like you…If you’re still worried, you should talk to Eddie.

He, in fact, did not talk to Eddie. He feels a shuddering breath slip past his lips, eyes averting from where he can see the line of tension in Eddie’s shoulders.

“Buck?”

“Hm?”

“It’s gonna be alright,” He assures, thumb gently smoothing over his knuckles. 

Buck simply nods, turns away, leans his head on the headrest and closes his eyes to stave off the tears.

Buck’s steps stutter outside the door but a steadying hand on his elbow has him walking through the door with a wild beating heart. 

The house is unusually quiet. He waits. He waits. He waits. Nothing. He cranes his neck to maybe get a glimpse or something. Nothing. There is no sound of crutches hitting the floor or Christopher’s loud cheery voice. He turns to Eddie who looks guilty, hands shoved in his pockets, fidgeting in place, avoiding his eyes.

“Chris?”

Eddie opens his mouth to say something but shakes his head before grabbing Buck’s forearm and gently steering him towards the couch. He pushes Buck down and kneels in front of him.

“I talked to Dr. Jonathan. Well, he talked to me. He wasn’t very clear but I guess it’s because he didn’t want to say something you didn’t want to tell me. He just vaguely told me that you might be really sensitive around kids and um…I know you would never tell me to send Chris away for your sake so I…I talked to him. To Chris.” He stops, takes a deep breath before continuing. “I didn’t tell him anything. I just said you needed some time to get better. He doesn’t know the reason but he agreed to stay with Pepa and Abuela for however long you need with the condition that you take him to the opening of that new planetarium,” He finishes, blowing out a breath. 

Buck looks down at Eddie, kneeling on the floor, hand gently placed on Buck’s thigh with a hopeful expression. Buck’s breath catches in his throat and he feels it before he sees the tear soaking into his jeans beside Eddie’s hand. Eddie’s head snaps from the tear to Buck’s face and his own eyes widen in fear.

“Buck?” He murmurs, fear and something horrid in his eyes, waiting patiently.

Buck heaves a wet breath and makes an aborted noise in the back of his throat before slapping his hands on his face to cover the burning embarrassment and tears that are still stinging in his eyes. He sniffles against his hand and lets out a strangled sob, shaking his head with a whine. 

“F-fuck…I’m sorry…I’m so-sor-ry Eddie.”

Eddie scrambles to make sense of the situation. He stands up, hands hovering in the air.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Is it something I said?” He frets, trying to get Buck to talk who forgoes any dignity and cries pathetically, hands still smushed against his face.

“Buck. I-I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong?” There’s panic in his voice as he rakes shaky hands through his hair.

Buck shakes his head with an even louder cry. Eddie kneels back in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in overwhelming anxiety. His hands come up to pull away his hands and he winces seeing the red-rimmed puffy eyes, flushed cheeks, snivelling nose and wobbly lips. 

“What’s wrong?” He urges, small and vulnerable.

Another sob falls from his lips as he falls back into the couch. “I don’t know!” He turns away, hiding from Eddie, throwing an arm over his eyes, pulling his legs up. 

“Why’d you send him away? I want Chris back. Are you embarrassed of me? Is it because I’m an Omega? Bring him back, Eddie!”

Eddie abruptly stands up, pulling his phone out haphazardly. He throws a cautious look at Buck before walking away. He looks down at the number and presses the call icon. Shit shit shit.

“Hello this is–”

“Dr. Johnathan?”

“Eddie? What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know?? He’s crying! He won’t stop crying! He keeps asking about Christopher. He’s mad at me for sending him away? I thought-”

“Are you two seriously- God…Did you talk to him before sending Christopher away? Did-did he talk to you about any of this at all??” 

“No?”

He cringes at the way the man audibly sighs in exasperation.

“You guys- Ok. Listen to me. Go and talk to him. Make him tell you how he feels ok. I’m on standby. I need fifteen. I gotta check on one of my patients.”

Eddie nods, not caring to verbalize his agreement. He makes his way back to a very very sad Buck who has curled up on the couch hiccuping through the sobs.

He kneels beside the couch once again. He brushes his hand through Buck’s hair. 

“Hey, buddy. I know this feels like shit but I need to know how you’re feeling. I can’t just go and get Chris.”

Buck sniffles, nose already feeling stuffy as he looks at Eddie. 

“I…I d-don’t know why I am feeling like this. I just…It hurts b-but not like before like how it was in the hospital. It’s a different kind of hurt. It doesn’t hurt physically. It’s like…like something has been taken away from me…empty…I feel empty…right here.” He places a loose palm flat against the centre of his chest with a wheeze. 

“I feel like crying…I don’t even know why…I just know I want Chris back…my head hurts.”

Eddie looks at him in confusion before nodding and putting the phone back to his ear.

“Johnathan?” His own voice shakes.

“Yeah. I heard that. My patient’s running a little late. Ok…so um don’t…don’t freak out, Eddie. We can’t have you both freaking out at the same time.”

“I’m trying,” He grumbles into the phone, one hand rubbing up and down Buck’s arm trying to comfort him.

“I think I know what’s going on here. Buck loves Christopher a lot. It’s not uncommon for him to feel - well - attached . Normally he can…his senses are in overdrive ok. You can’t blame him for anything. His Omega recognizes your son as well… his. ”

“His? His what??” Eddie asks, incredulous.

“His own…his kid…Eddie. Eddie. It’s not his fault, ok. His emotions are heightened and they are…He’ll get used to his Omega side but you need to be gentle with him about Christopher. You have the right to keep your son away. I know how Alphas feel about their kids around Omegas who try to lay a false claim on them or their kids but you gotta understand it’s not Buck’s fault. He just loves Chris so much that his senses are–”

“That’s it? I just have to bring Chris back to make him feel better?” Eddie asks, confusion clear in his voice.

Johnathan gawks and even Eddie can hear the man pull away the phone to look at the screen in indignation before putting it back to his ear.

“Yes? But also…did you hear any of what I just said? You’ll have to let Buck get away with acting like he has any right to claim Chris as his? You might even get a push back if you try to take him away from Buck. You might not understand the severity of the situation but things can get out of hand really quickly when an Alpha sees it happening right in front of them.”

Eddie takes one look at Buck. He looks exhausted, his still teary eyes are blinking sluggishly, hand rubbing against his chest. His gaze is fixed on one of the pictures on the mantle. Their picture.

“Yeah, I did. Loud and clear. I’ll talk to you later. I need to make a few calls,” He says, hanging up the phone.

He shoots a quick text to Hen and then hesitantly takes Buck’s cold hand in his.

“Hey, I asked Hen to bring Chris back. Come on, Buck. You don’t wanna meet him like this, do you? Come, let me help you freshen up and get into new clothes.” 

Buck’s eyes slowly shift to him and he blinks slowly. He parts his lips. “Ok.”

It’s a bit of a struggle honestly to get Buck to the washroom and then change into fresh clothes. Buck is all but soft dough in his hands that keeps slipping if he doesn’t hold tight and hold tight he does. He winces when he catches the impression of his thick fingers on Buck’s bicep. He murmurs a soft apology as Buck listlessly moves towards the bed.

Buck looks a little out of it. Eddie waves a hand in front of his eyes and he gives Eddie a dirty look. Ok maybe not that out of it. The doorbell rings and Eddie springs to his feet. 

He missed his son. He’d been so busy taking care of his best friend that he was rarely home to spend time with his son. He hauls Chris into a hug and despite his protests, annoyed huffs and puffs he returns the hug in full capacity having missed his Dad just as much. 

“Buck’s here,” Chris asks, trying to look past him into the house and Eddie is hit with a Deja Vu. Buck peering into the empty hallway anticipating Christopher.

“Yes but we gotta be careful. He’s still getting better. He just really really wanted to see you.”

“He does??” His eyes grow round and Eddie’s starting to notice a lot of things. Is it a bad thing? He’s not sure. Chris is a reflection of Buck just as much as he’s Eddie’s. 

“Yeah. But the doctors said we gotta be careful ok.”

“Is he hurt?” He tilts his head and ok Eddie needs this to stop. Chris shows his concern just like Buck. 

“How about I let you talk to him?” He offers, turning around to go to the bedroom where Buck’s resting. He catches Hen moving towards the kitchen in her periphery before he turns his attention to Buck.

Buck is sitting on the edge of the bed, chewing on his lips. He looks nervous. Eddie puts Chris down and stands in the doorway. Chris slowly moves towards Buck who is still looking at the floor with furrowed brows. Chris stops right in front of him and Eddie involuntarily takes a step forward when he sees Chris gently tilt Buck’s face up by his chin. He’s so gentle and so careful that Eddie feels his heart-rate settle a little as he moves back.

“Buck,” Chris calls.

“Yeah, buddy.” 

Buck’s face crumples before Chris can say anything and Eddie feels the panic returning ten-fold. On one hand, he’s really worried about his best friend while on the other hand, his instincts are screaming at him to separate them so they are both spared the hurt. He doesn’t get the chance to do anything. Chris lets his crutches fall and Buck’s arms immediately come around him to brace him if he loses balance. Chris wraps his arms around Buck and gently pets his hair. “You’re gonna be fine. You have us, Buck.” 

Eddie can’t help but smile. All the worry leaves him. His son is more than capable of handling this. He’s glad he’s got Chris. He turns around to leave when he hears a muffled ‘I missed you’ and he almost gives into the urge to stride back in and wrap them both in his arms. 

Hen’s putting something in the refrigerator when he enters the kitchen. 

“Bobby’s worried about him but he didn’t want to smother him hence the food.”

Eddie simply nods, taking a seat on the dining table.

“You ok, Eddie?”

Eddie looks at her and then averts his gaze. “I don’t know.”

Hen rounds the table and puts a firm hand on his shoulder. “You guys will be fine.You’ve got each other and Christopher too.”

Eddie nods, voice falling, eyes going a little dull. “Yeah.”

“I’ll get out of your hair. I’m sure it’s been difficult for you too. Having to witness people leaving scents on him when he can’t sense them. Call me if you need anything.”

Eddie opens his mouth to say something. Maybe to defend himself that no it didn’t matter or it has no effect on Eddie that Buck’s covered in the scents of people he doesn’t even know but that would be a lie. He wanted to rub off their scents but Buck’s senses are still sensitive. One wrong move and Eddie would–

“Dad.”

He’s already opening the door by the time Chris calls him a second time. He almost melts and lets out a string of aww when he sees Buck’s head resting in Chris’ lap. It looks like he’s asleep. His hand is clutching onto Christopher’s shirt. He looks restless even in his sleep. There are anxious lines on his forehead as if he’s stuck in an endless nightmare. Chris gives him a pinched look.   

He carefully sits down and whispers as to not disturb Buck. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s not ok, Dad.”

“What- what do you mean buddy?”

Chris looks down at Buck with a sad frown. “He smells sad.”

Eddie’s eyes widen as he looks at Buck. 

“You can…You can tell that?”

Chris nods, a gentle hand brushing through Buck’s unruly curls. “He smells sad and scared. What’s going on?”

Eddie sucks in a breath when he feels Buck stir and slowly open his eyes. He doesn’t get up. His hand reaches across Chris and Eddie immediately grabs hold of it. I’m here.

“I took it off, Eddie. I’m sorry. I wanted- needed to…Chris felt too far. I’m sorry.” He sounds wrecked. 

Eddie’s gaze snaps to Buck’s neck where the patch was supposed to be. He feels heat flare up around his neck when he sees the flushed skin and no patch. Oh .

He wants to comfort Buck. He wants to tell him that it’s ok but words feel too heavy on his tongue. Thankfully, Christopher is here.

“Hey, Buck. It’s ok. Whatever it is, we’ll fix it together ok. Don’t cry. You’re good. Dad’s not mad at you. Right, Dad?”

Eddie looks at his son and then his best friend who looks equal parts miserable and hopeful. “Yeah. You’re good, Buck.”

“You’re not happy, Eddie. I can smell it.”

“I’m wearing-”

“It stops working and it’s a shitty one. Johnathan told me. He warned me to buy good ones when we get out. I…I forgot to tell you. Sorry.” He doesn’t sound apologetic at all. 

Eddie peels off the useless patch and looks at Buck again whose eyes are wide and shocked. So it was working to some extent. 

Eddie turns around to get a new one when he feels the hand in his pull him back. “Don’t.”

He sighs, loud and tired. At this point, everything and everyone is just testing his resolve and he’s about to fail this test spectacularly. “One of us has to,” He says sternly, ignorning the way Christopher throws a withering glare in his direction over Buck’s head. “I know you feel scared when your senses are taken away because they are new and uncomfortable but a part of you feels them like a missing limb, so I’m not going to make you wear it, ok. But I’ll have to wear it.”

Buck loosens his grip, blinking away the tears. He needs to talk to Bobby and Maddie.

“You’re free to do whatever you want inside the house but don’t go out without the patch.”

Buck groans and pulls himself up. He twists around to face Eddie. “That an order or a request?” He challenges, voice rising in restrained anger.

Eddie frowns, taken aback. “An advice?”

“Thank you for your concern then. You can leave now.”

“Wh-what?” 

Christopher shakes his head at Eddie. “I got him, Dad.” 

Eddie sighs, standing up to leave. Buck’s back is turned to him. His feet come to a halt when he hears a sniffle followed by a sob. He doesn’t turn around. Doesn’t go rushing back in against all his instincts. 

“He doesn’t…like me now…I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry, Chris.”

He closes the door just as Chris starts talking, trusting his son to handle it better than him. He leans against the door and sighs again. He closes his eyes and Buck’s voice rings in his ears. Easy, pliant, vulnerable, yielding…His eyes fly open and he immediately covers his glands with his hand, face twisting in pain. Fuck .