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It was silent on the way to Kirishima’s home. Katsuki couldn’t trust his voice not to shake with the usual growl of his words. Katsuki did not want to fucking show that 8 years of his life was almost just for nothing. It couldn’t be fucking true. So it fucking isn’t.
But shit, all those 8 years, basically killing himself every single day, and not even for a single thank you? Not even a single one?
Not that he had done all of this shit for a thank you, or any sort of verbal fuckin’ gratification, no. He did it all for Izuku.
Izuku, who… Katsuki… knew ? Izuku who, Katsuki thought, would follow him.
Izuku, who Katsuki knows cares. Izuku, who Katsuki knows was his best friend for all his life. Izuku, who Katsuki knows got angry for those in injustice. Izuku, who Katsuki knows went rogue when he died. Izuku, who Katsuki had fought alongside with even in the nastiest of wars. Izuku, who Katsuki thought he would be competing with for the rest of their lives.
Izuku, who Katsuki thought he knew. Not this apathetic Izuku, who doesn’t seem to remember any of those. This Izuku, who… Who is finally tired of Katsuki.
That’s all it could be really. What else would it all fucking mean? What else could 8 years of constantly on the brink of death, pushing himself to exhaustion over and over again for his Izuku, just for him to say no to fighting alongside with him, (a dream they had both shared,) mean? He really never was his either.
Now Katsuki’s just, what? A memory? An occasion that has passed? Just an old classmate, a coworker, and a forgotten childhood friend? Fuck, he doesn’t even know anymore, this is just–
“Oh shit– you’re crying. A lot. Oh god–” Kirishima expresses panic on Katsuki’s left.
What?
“Katsuki, slow down. Pull over, shit–”
As it turns out, he is crying. As he comes to his senses he realizes his vision has blurred and the rays of light coming from the cars ahead are starting to blind him. He does as he’s told and does a quick job of pulling over to the side. Doesn’t fuckin’ matter if it was messy, just–
Wow. He can actually not stop crying.
Kirishima suddenly appears to open the door to his right. Katsuki can’t focus. He can’t hear him, but Katsuki just assumes they’re switching seats now.
“Shit shit, Mina pick up– OH, thank god, so-”
Katsuki climbed into the passenger seat and the door was shut closed beside him. Katsuki thinks he shouldn’t listen to the conversation outside right now, so he rests his head on the cold window as more tears seem to keep coming his way.
Kirishima stands in front of the truck of Katsuki’s car as he tries to talk to Mina in panic.
“It’s an emergency, I can’t tell you the full details now, but basically all you need to know is that Midoriya said no,” Mina’s audible gasp goes through the speakers of his phone. “Katsuki was driving me home and I didn’t think he really wanted to talk about it at all because he was so silent and seemed like he just needed space. But then he started crying. Mina, this was crazy. It was crazy because there was no sound to his sob at all. It just started and it wouldn’t stop. His face wasn’t even that of someone crying. But he was sobbing, I’m telling you, it was so concerning.”
Mina’s acknowledgment peers through the speakers as Kirishima is telling her about the situation. “Mina, you need to get some people to come back. Maybe the Bakusquad and some trusted select others. I’m going to drive us both back, we don’t have water with us so please also ready some water and tissues. I know you and Jirou were supposed to clean and hang out after the party, and I’m sorry. I ask you this favour. For Bakugou.”
Mina didn’t miss a beat replying, “Dude, of course. I would never say no in this situation. You get Baku back home safe okay? I’ll call everyone and get the living room comfy. Drive safely.”
Kirishima exhales wobbly and doesn’t realize the heavy breath he was holding. He smiles softly, with care. “Thank you Mina. We’ll see you soon.” Kirishima hangs up and glances at Bakugou. Still crying. Jeez, Midoriya really did fuck up.
He heads to the driver’s seat. He closes the door behind him and looks back at Bakugou again. Kirishima reaches to touch Bakugou, on his arm first, as to not startle him. Bakugou looks at him. His face still isn’t one that is crying, but he is still sobbing like it would hurt for him to force the tears back. His face holds a more shocked and confused expression, like he doesn’t know how to deal with anything, ever. Kirishima doesn’t blame him, he lifts his other hand up to Katsuki’s face and wipes off the tears he knows are inevitable to come back. Katsuki leans into the touch, like he’s been so tired just lifting his own head up. They stay like that for a while.
Kirishima breaks the silence. “The amount of liquid you’re leaking out right now is concerning, so we’re driving back to Mina’s to go get you some water and rest, okay?” Katsuki gives a silent nod and opens his eyes to face the window again. Kirishima squeezes his arm. I’m sorry.
Kirishima drives.
Kirishima was about to explode at traffic, but they made it back as fast as possible. Kirishima had to support Katsuki’s weight up out of the car and to Mina’s house. It was like all his energy was all being distributed to cry his eyes out.
When they arrive, everyone’s already there. They open the door and Kirishima assumes Mina has told them all already, they all had concerned expressions before they could process who was going through the door.
Mina was first to greet them at the door, helping Kirishima support Katsuki and leading them to the soft futons and multiple bundles of blankets on the floor. They sat Katsuki beside Jirou and Denki, who looked like they were on the brink of also crying. The rest approached Katsuki in a circle in front of him. Sero, Todoroki, Momo, and Koda.
As the group was trying to comfort Bakugo, giving him tissues and telling him it’s okay is when Katsuki started to actually cry. Not that he wasn’t before, but now his face shows the sadness that matches the flooding of tears coming from his eyes. Now, he was sobbing with all his might. He uses his whole body to cry, he voices out barely screaming but barely whining sounds. Just pitiful sounds of frustration that don’t know whether or not being loud would make a difference to how tired he’ll be after this.
Some people hurry to go get water, and Jirou’s comforting pats on his back starts to become more frantic and panicked. He’s fully sobbing now.
He sobs, and he sobs, and he sobs.
He sobs, and most of the group joins him.
Mina is the first to break a tear whilst desperately trying to get Bakugou drink even just a little water. She couldn’t just bear to see his friend, Katsuki Bakugou, the emotionally strongest man he’s ever known, have a full body sob. She started crying too, because this was the most helpless he’s ever been and she can’t just not feel it too.
Then it was Denki, stroking Katsuki’s arm as he tried to get Katsuki to talk to him, even just one word out of him. He started crying because he has never seen his friend like this before, and it’s enough to hurt him too.
Then followed Kirishima, Momo, Jirou, Sero, then all of them were crying. Crying while trying to put on the brightest smile on their faces and they say to Katsuki, “it’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” Crying whilst still trying to lift the mood with jokes, laughing at each other’s crying faces. Crying whilst still trying to get Katsuki to sip just even a bit of water. They were crying because they cared. Especially when it’s Katsuki who is having a full body, full energy, full mind and full voice sob. They were crying because it was Katsuki, because you can’t just not care.
It was probably 30 minutes before they could get Katsuki to drink. Most of them have calmed down 10 minutes into their crying session, though still tearing up every now and then after even just a glimpse at Katsuki’s face.
They gave his cup a straw, as they thought it would be easier to drink out of a straw while crying.
Only after 30 minutes of sobbing, Katsuki’s crying had calmed down from its highest point. He went back to his silent sobbing. The type with no noise, just a bunch of huffs and puffs over unsteady breathing over and over again.
The room wouldn’t have said this, but they were glad Katsuki was crying a bit more normal now. Though it still hurt to see Katsuki cry, now they could focus on taking care of him and how to talk to him.
No one really knew what was on Katsuki’s mind exactly, as he was not able to construct a comprehensive sentence during his 30 minutes of full body sobbing, but no one really had to ask. They could easily deduct from what Kirishima had told them all what was going on in Katsuki’s mind.
Mina throws Katsuki a bunch of really soft plushies and a comfy hoodie to put on. Afterwards, they all snuggled into Katsuki together and brainstormed ways to cheer him up. There was music, Jirou played the guitar and everyone sang in duets and solos. There were games like charades and UNO. There was Mina mixing and matching her outfits from her closet and walking out of her room like it was a runway, and everyone rating each outfit.
Through this all, Katsuki had been giggling and smiling. Albeit, the tears did not stop falling once, and he was still crying as far as they could observe, but he had definitely calmed down a lot more, and his heart rate was picking back up to a normal speed.
They played scary games, competitive games, and watched shitty Netflix shows. Katsuki tried to enjoy it all even with the little energy he had left going for him. He knew he was going to pass out soon. It would be for the better, for at long last his tears will finally stop.
But he can’t help but feel that it’s a little unfair that his body won’t give him a little more energy to at least thank his friends. He’s scared that when he wakes up, they all have left him already, and Katsuki can’t handle anymore leaving. He just wants to let them know how much he appreciates them for this, and how much he cares for them too. He wants to say all this, but he can’t. His head won’t lift and his eyes won’t open. He’s fallen asleep.
Something bright flashes his eyes from beneath his eyelids. He finds it difficult to open them, crust and stickiness forcing them shut. They are also puffy, adding difficulty to getting them open.
He finally gets one open and sees the curtain being fanned open by the wind in the open window. The sun is warm, so it must be afternoon. He looks around in a familiar room. Mina’s room. He opens his other eye and forces strength into his arms to sit up.
Only then does he realize how cushy the bed is, how soft the pillows are and how lulling the blankets are. He slowly sinks back into the bed, closing his eyes for a second. Then he remembers. He remembers last night and– shit, have they left? He immediately and abruptly springs up from the covers and races for the door.
He opens it and is greeted by the sight of– Everyone?
Everyone’s here.
None of them left.
Cheers and loud greetings meet his ears as some of them approach Katsuki, big smiles on their faces like they had missed Katsuki so much. “Dude!!” Kaminari shouts as he jumps to bear hug Katsuki. “Good morning, bro!” Kirishima smiles with all his teeth and the relief on his face is evident. “Baku!!! Good morning!!!” Mina goes to hug Katsuki as well with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
They also must’ve caught Katsuki’s relief in finding them here, because they go to smile even bigger at him.
“You guys,” Katsuki’s voice comes out hoarse. Crackly and gruff. Jirou quickly fetches water for Katsuki to chug, and everyone else giggles at him.
They move to the living room and Katsuki sits on the single couch chair, silently indicating for everyone to sit on the couch.
“Everyone,” Katsuki starts, “thank you.” A genuine smile appears on Katsuki’s face and most of them almost started tearing up again. “Truly, just–” Katsuki takes a deep breath, “thank you all, so much.”
“I’ve never told you all how much I actually appreciate you all. I really do. You’ve all been supporting me and have been with me through so much. Thank you for all of that. For everything. I don’t know how I’ve gotten so lucky to have friends that care about me so much, so unconditionally.” Katsuki’s nose starts to burn as he talks, but he ignores it. His friends need to know.
“I don’t know what would have happened to me last night if you guys weren’t here for me then, I think–” Katsuki tries to joke, “I think I actually would’ve killed myself, or something.”
Mina jumps up from the couch to hug Katsuki, “Noo! Don’t say that!!”
Katsuki rubs her back and murmurs soft I’m sorry ’s.
“These past years, all I’ve been focused on was Izuku’s damn suit, and I couldn’t even focus on any of you at all.” Mina parts from Katsuki as he continues, “But even so, you guys still stayed with me. You supported this project I wanted so badly and you guys never stopped caring for me. And for that, for all of that, thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I think now, I will start to focus more on you all and myself. Something I honestly should’ve done instead, but it’s all over now, I can’t do anything about it.” Katsuki moves to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment, but as he opens his eyes, he sees everyone's faces tearing up.
Next thing he knows, everyone’s weight is on him and he’s bombarded by everyone's hugs. Laughter and sobs fill the air as he embraces everyone back.
Yeah. Katsuki thinks, these are the people I should focus on.