Chapter Text
Aoi had fucked up, he fucked up big time.
In his defence, he really had not meant for things to end up like this. While being drunk isn’t an excuse for anything, he thought it would at least work as a slight explanation for his mishaps. It did not.
This ordeal had started the same way most bad things start, from a rumor no one knows the origin of. Obviously Aoi had always had his own speculations about Uruha’s sexuality, but he had never pressed further considering it really wasn’t any of his business. This time though, it was different. Uruha had a boyfriend.
Well, Uruha had a boyfriend according to this rumor, that once again, had no reliable source. So the boyfriend was actually more of a maybe than a definitive yes. Schrödinger’s boyfriend, one could say.
Ignoring the issue of the probably not even real partner, Aoi had a different problem to deal with. Why did he suddenly care about Uruha’s dating life? Uruha had had multiple girlfriends in the past, some he had personally announced to the rest of the band, some they’d only heard about after the relationship had ended and there were definitely some they never even got to know existed. Not once before had Aoi been bothered by them, so why was this so different?
To Aoi’s dismay, the answer was pretty obvious. It was because Uruha had a boyfriend. Maybe.
It’s not like Aoi had anything against gay people, it’d be pretty hypocritical considering all the stuff he does on stage. And Aoi wasn’t gay himself, so it’s not like he could be jealous of another man being with Uruha, right?
This pondering went on for days, until one day when Aoi had gone out drinking and ended up home in less than stellar condition. He just couldn’t deal with being bothered about a man that possibly didn’t even exist, so he decided to call Uruha.
Aoi could feel the nerves getting to him as the phone rang even through the alcohol in his system. He was even thinking of giving up on the whole idea, how would he even phrase-
“Aoi? Is everything okay? You know it’s 4am, right?”
Uruha’s unmistakable voice came out through the phone. Not that Aoi could’ve called the wrong person, he could recite Uruha’s number in his sleep. His reminder of the time left Aoi slightly embarrased, he really should’ve thought this through while sober. Oh well, no backing out now.
“Are you gay?” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted every single decision that had led up to this point. Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking?
“Aoi, you’re calling me at 4 in the morning to ask if I’m gay?” Uruha sounded part annoyed and part amused, like he couldn’t quite decide what this particular stunt made him feel.
“Well I- there’s been this rumor-”
“That I have a boyfriend? Yes, I am quite aware that my own boyfriend exists.” All hints of amusement in his voice were gone. “Look dude, I can tell you’re drunk, just go to bed.”
Aoi felt like his lungs were collapsing. He couldn’t breathe. This cannot be real. Uruha really had a boyfriend.
Not wanting Uruha to hang up, Aoi tried to stutter something in reply even through his shock.
“I mean that’s wonderful- or well you know I’m very happy for you, it’s great you finally discovered yourself after all these years-”
“Aoi, go to bed.” With that, Uruha hung up.
Against all better judgement, Aoi did not go to bed. Even if he wanted to, he definitely couldn’t have fallen asleep with his heart racing in his chest. So instead Aoi did the next best thing he could think of, chain-smoke on his balcony until the majority of the nerves had worn off.
During his smoking session, Aoi reached two major conclusions. Firstly, Uruha dating a man clearly bothered him on some level. Secondly, under no circumstance was this internal strife caused by Aoi being gay himself. Absolutely zero chance. He likes women, thank you very much.
So there he was, enjoying his cigs and the outside air, feeling like he had managed to destroy one of his longest friendships. Uruha wasn’t an easy person to anger, and in all honesty he didn’t even sound angry by the end of the phone call, just annoyed. Not that this eased Aoi. He was convinced Uruha hated him and thought he was a homophobe. Even thoughts of having to quit the band flooded his brain, because oh god, who the fuck calls their friend at four in the morning to ask about their sexuality?
Sadly, Aoi’s cigarettes had run out and it was starting to be early morning, which meant people were appearing on the street below. Feeling stupider by the minute he finally marched back inside towards his bed. Falling on his bed, Aoi realized he was still wearing his drinking clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about such trivial matters when he’d have to look for a new job soon.
One good aspect about the phone call was that it happened between Friday and Saturday, which meant after Aoi had woken up he had about 48 hours to hope and pray Uruha wouldn't be too mad at him when they had to meet up for band practice on Monday. Besides, the rest of the members would also be there, so it’s not like Uruha could beat him up without the others interfering. Then again, Uruha could just announce that Aoi hated gay people and he should be removed from the band. Did the others know Uruha was gay? Reita had to know, right?
Band practice went surprisingly smoothly, an outsider couldn’t even tell something was wrong. If Aoi was being honest with himself, even he wouldn’t have known, if it wasn’t for the fact that he had caused the issue in the first place. After they were done, he was about to slip out, ready to celebrate not having to find a new job after all.
“Aoi, mind staying for a sec? We should talk.” Uruha said calmly
Aoi knew today had been going too well. He quickly waved goodbye to the others and turned back, ready to face his fellow guitarist.
“Uruha I am not a homophobe I promise.”
“What? Who said anything about you being a homophobe? You’re a bit stupid for sure but not a homophobe.”
Oh. That was reassuring at least. Uruha didn’t hate him.
“Look I’m really sorry I woke you up at that hour-”
“Aoi just listen to me. I can tell you have something going, considering the last time you called me in the middle of the night was uh, never. But that’s not the point. I just wanted to let you know while you’re sober that yes, I do like men. I’m bi.”
Already having heard that Uruha had a boyfriend should’ve been enough confirmation, but the words ‘I like men’ coming out of his mouth somehow sent yet another wave of shock through Aoi. One that he clearly did not suppress well enough considering the face Uruha made at him. However, he didn’t have time to ponder the implications of this as he had come up with another question.
Very sheepishly Aoi opened his mouth, knowing he’d definitely come to regret this. “I thought being bi was just like, something you do in highschool for two months while you figure yourself out?”
Uruha let out one of the loudest laughs Aoi had ever heard, he even had to grab onto a nearby table for support so as to not fall over.
“You cannot be serious right now!” It seemed like Uruha wanted to continue but another wave of laughter crashed over him before he could get it out.
“I take it that I was incorrect..?” Aoi’s voice was almost unhearable over the cackling still coming out of Uruha.
“Even my parents knew about bisexuals when I came out, how the hell have you made it this far in life without knowing it was a real thing?” Uruha was wiping tears out of his eyes as the laughter was slowly starting to die down.
“Well I always thought… I’m not really sure actually, but like, if people could really like men and women at the same time then who would choose to only like one?”
“First of all, sexuality isn’t a choice and you’re really starting to sound like you need to take a good long look in the mirror.”
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?” Was Uruha really implying that Aoi could also like… No no, there’s no way. Aoi knew for a fact that he liked women. And it’s not like you could be into bo- oh fuck.
“It’s almost like I can hear the wheels turning in your brain, you know. Anyway I need to go now. It was nice chatting. The next time you want to learn something about me, please call at appropriate business hours,” Uruha chuckled at his own joke, “and be sober.”
Aoi said goodbye to Uruha before sprinting to the nearest toilet. His breakfast and lunch were coming out at an incomprehensible speed, barely even making it to his destination before his stomach got turned inside out. Aoi could 100% accept his bandmate being into men, but Aoi himself liking other dudes? Another wave of nausea hit him at the thought. This was going to be a long journey.