Chapter Text
Heavy boots stepped into a small puddle, making a loud splash in the quiet morning night. They didn’t stop, just kept going, marching through spacious walkways in a steady beat, breaking the silence.
Vi still wasn’t used to this. In the Undercity, you would never get a moment for yourself, solitude was not something easy to come by. There was always so much noise, so many smells, different impressions that were vying for your attention, keeping you alert and aware of your surroundings. Be it the melody of some grimy street artist, trying to make a living off of small coins, the cries of stand owners offering food or the grunts and stench of a bloody alley way fight– you just wouldn’t find noiselessness like this.
Her first few weeks after Stillwater had been so busy, she hadn’t found the time to acknowledge this but after settling into a new life at the other side of the river, she just couldn’t stop feeling it.
The almost oppressive emptiness around her. At this hour – 2:30am to be exact – she was the only one patrolling the streets, having all this space for herself, nothing to occupy her, nobody to bother her except for a lone cat or two.
Well, almost nobody.
“A penny for you thoughts?”, came a voice behind her.
Caitlyn stood, head slightly tilted, bright eyes looking at her earnestly. Nothing could slip away from under her careful watch, not even Vi’s drifting thoughts.
“Just thinking, nothing specific”, she replied.
A sly smile graced her lips. “Really? I thought you are more of a doer than a thinker”
“Hey”, came Vi’s answer, lightly punching Caitlyn’s shoulder, now smiling herself. “I actually use this big noggin of mine from time to time, thank you very much!”
“Hm, that’s news to me.” A small chuckle, then silence. They walked side by side again, a steady staccato beat drumming the streets.
“Don’t see you being introspective so often. Just wanted to make sure everything is alright.”
Oh Cupcake, ever the sweetheart.
“Nah, it’s nothing. Just one of those night I guess.” Vi let her gaze shift to the side, taking in dark windows of big apartments.
To her side, she saw Caitlyn slowly nod her head. “..Did you dream about her again?”
Her. Jinx.
Images of fresh violence flashed before her eyes, blaring guns, maniacal laughter ringing in her ears and Vi’s throat constricted slightly. Ever since Jinx’ attack on the council she kept repeating the same things in her head, so much so that she had nightmares about them. About being the one to blame, about letting it come so far, about different What-Ifs, about letting her sister become the terrorist that she now was…
No, her sister was dead. Only Jinx remained.
And Jinx kept plaguing her mind, seeking her out even after Vi vowed to stop her. After that night, she had joined the enforcers, pledging to put an end to her sis- Jinx’s killing streak.
It had taken some convincing on Caitlyn’s end but ultimately, this was the best path to take. The ONLY path to take – after all, what remained of the Lanes that Vi once knew? Drug-addled shimmer junkies roaming the streets, corrupt street gangs harassing people left and right and everyone she ever loved was dead or left rotting in those sick streets.
Sure there was still a small allure to the warm masses of human flesh filling every corner, the pungent smell of fatty food in the air – how she missed this in Piltover – and rowdy but hearty conversations being held by strangers… but most of her good memories were just that, memories. The Undercity hadn’t stopped its downwards descend towards disaster once Vi had stepped foot into Stillwater and it definitely wouldn’t stop now, even if its biggest puppet master was gone, thanks to none other than Jinx.
She had been awfully quiet these last few months but crimes committed in the past were still crimes committed. Vi had to do good and make things right again, finding Jinx, capturing her and then… she would see. Caitlyn herself had suffered greatly under the terrorist, losing her own mother and Vi could do nothing but feel guilt, guilt that seemed to choke her, chasing her in the form of vibrant pink eyes hiding in shadows, burning wounds into her flesh…
A soft hand on her shoulder pulled Vi back to reality. She sighed.
“…Yeah. I keep thinking about what went wrong, what I did wrong and just how to fix everything. It all feels connected, y’know? Like, it was all my fault that it went this way and if only I’d acted differently, if I just wasn’t so bloody stupid, if I hadn’t ran off back then… she needed me and a moment, one moment of me pushing her away let her become corrupted into what she is now, maybe I’m the real monster here-”
Caitlyn grabbed her by her shoulders. The staccato stopped.
“Hey hey, it’s okay.” A delicate hand cupped her cheek, pulling her to face the other woman again.
Blue met blue and they both knew it wasn’t, really. The pain was still too fresh and better left unpacked, to be tackled another time.
So Vi did what she felt was best and slowly leaned into Caitlyn, ending their conversation with a soft, vulnerable kiss, chapped lips meeting another pair. Vi gave herself a moment to indulge in the feeling, a short respite from her racing thoughts, constricting feeling being lifted from her throat.
After a few seconds they parted, foreheads touching, fingertips still roaming the other’s face. “We will get her”, Caitlyn said, eyes still closed. “We will get her and she will pay for what she has done.”
A new lump in Vi’s throat told her it would not be so easy.
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The rest of their shift was uneventful and Vi was glad to be back at her apartment before sunrise. It was a small, crowded space with barely space for all necessities… but it was hers.
She and Caitlyn had talked about moving together a couple of times, living in the Kiramman manor but Vi had always declined the offer, always stating she preferred the view over the river. Truly, she liked having some small connection to her old life. Secretly, there was also another reason. The Kirammans lived in one of the fanciest areas in Piltover, what with Cupcakes mom being a… former member of the council and the families’ deep ties to high Piltover society. If the central Piltover streets were empty by Undercity standards, the upper districts were hauntingly desolate. It always made her aware of just how crammed the Undercity was in comparison and a small part of her couldn’t help feeling irritated. There was so much wasted space here, if it was better spread out, maybe Undercity folk wouldn’t need to live like sardines in a can, always at each other’s throat.
She opened her bedroom window and took off her stuffy uniform, changing into a more relaxed fit. Sitting down on the window sill, she took in the Undercity for a moment, almost peaceful from so far away. After a few minutes she went to bed and sank into an unrestful slumber.
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Vi woke to the distressing feeling of not being able to move her limbs.
She’s had sleep paralysis before but this was different, nothing like that fuzzy tingling in her arms. A distinct weight was now being placed on her, holding her in place. She fully snapped out of sleep when a blade kissed the skin of her throat, almost embedding into it.
She let out a gasp and tried not to act on instinct, turning her head, pushing against the weight, throwing the knife away. It wouldn’t end well for her. Instead, she snapped her pupils to the right, locking eyes with her assaultant. Vibrant pink started back, unblinking, illuminating the night.
“Hey sis.”
She lunged - couldn’t stop herself - uselessly, as the force increased on both her body and the blade, hot pain searing through her at the nicked skin.
Jinx snapped her tongue disapprovingly.
“Didn’t know you actually wanted to die that badly. Could’ve visited you sooner then.”
“What. The FUCK. Are you doing here?”, came her reply, voice strained from pushing away from her knife.
“Paying my dues.” A manic expression came over Jinx, eyes shifting in and out of focus. “After… our last meeting I kept feeling like I let everyone down. I wasn’t happy how it all ended, your little friend would probably agree – imagine my surprise when I found out she was the Kiramman daughter. No, it really wasn’t good, even you weren’t happy. Which, by the way, you should’ve been” Jinx came closer, knife teasing wound.
“After all, I actually did what you wanted. I killed him! I got rid of Silco, just like you wanted! I let him bleed out in that rotten chair. And it was all so fucking wrong.”
Jinx’s eyes shifted to the side, landing on empty air. Her grip stayed the same but it was clear her thoughts were somewhere else.
“You’ve changed, sister. I saw you around, afterwards. Now you’re working for the enforcers? How low could you sink? They took them from us, mum and dad and they wanted to take us too and now you’re working with them? How could you?”
The knife was shaking now, Vi could feel it scraping around her throat.
“They were the real reason everything went to shit, I know it’s true because even Mylo agrees with me. Fucking Mylo, who is always pushing against everything I say and do! It really did take me this long to admit it to myself, really admit it but strong little Violet is gone. She is a shell of her former self and you are all that remains. So I came to a conclusion.”
Jinx starred at powder blue eyes searchingly, looking for something. This expression of hers reminded Vi of another life, another person and a longing for better times twisted her heart. Vi couldn’t think, still grappling with the reality of the situation – or was it just another nightmare? Another gut punch of twisted feelings that would leave her strung out, exhausted in the morning.
But the weight felt so real.
“I will let her rest in peace. Will keep the memories with me and let you thrive in what you were, who you were. The strong one, the fighter and protector, sister dearest. I can’t just watch this perversion of her take over and pull all that through the mud. Sorry to say but you have to die a martyr, in her name. My Vi is dead.”
This was so messed up, so twisted, so far from the truth that Vi couldn't help herself and let out a hoarse bark of a chuckle. Jinx rapid breathing stopped for a second and she gave her a sharp look.
“You think I am joking? Think I wouldn’t go through with it? I won’t even use my guns because they are so impersonal and this is about us, the most personal thing in the world.”
“No”, came Vi’s voice. “I know you could. I also know Powder wouldn’t but that is not who you are anymore, is it?”
Hell, if she was to die or even if it was just a dream, why not just let it all out. It wouldn’t matter in the end. Jinx stayed silent, barely moving on top of her. Waiting.
“I let Powder die the moment I left her 7 years ago. One bad decision and it cost me my entire family. If you stick this knife in me, I will know it wasn’t Powder who killed me. My entire life in Stillwater was mourning, rage, guilt, all mixed together, last memory being Silco with a knife in front of my sister. He would kill her, I was sure of it.
I realize now, him and me, we both killed Powder. But only Jinx could show this to me. So here you are now, a stranger in my sister’s skin. I would give my life to have her back but it’s not as easy as that, eh?” Vi realized her vision had becoming blurry, having to blink a couple of times.
“I became who I had to be through prison, guilt, blood, sweat and tears and all that. Caitlyn gave me a chance, a way to repay my sins and I had to take it. It wasn’t an easy choice, but- Jinx, you caused so much suffering. Silco caused so much suffering in the Lanes and I want to do good, fix it. There are no easy answers to this, no black and white thinking. Of course I hate myself for doing this but who or what is left in my life? I have nothing Pow- Jinx. The Undercity did just as much damage as Piltover so who the FUCK are you to judge me for it!?”
Fuck had that felt good. Letting all those raw unfiltered emotions out, Vi noticed just how much they were weighing on her soul. This now felt like finally taking a good swing at some assholes face after holding back for way too long. Just like a real fight though, this too would leave bruises. Already she could feel chips in her armor, hatred and anger mixing with desperation and guilt.
Vi tried to keep a stoic façade but the look in Jinx’s face told her it wasn’t working. It was difficult to truly read her expression but the knife slid down, finally giving the other woman space to move her head.
Jinx looked like a mess. These last few months hadn’t been kind to her, had accented her edges and corners, giving her the look of a wild animal. The eye bags were more prominent than ever, lips chapped and dry. The eyes were the same though, piercing, a hazy fog of pink veiling over those once beautiful blue ones. A troubled look marred those features.
She could grab her now, Vi realized. She isn’t fully pressing her down into her mattress anymore, if Vi grabbed her wrist and twisted, she would be caught off surprise and it would be possible to flip their positions. Then she would have caught Jinx and all this could be over.
She didn’t.
Instead, she fixed her with her gaze, untold words floating heavily in the air between them. There was an electricity to it, a tension in the knowledge that if either of them made the wrong move, things could go from bad to worse in an instant.
Jinx gave her another look that made Vi’s heart ache, a familiarity between two people she didn’t want to connect.
“I wish it was easier sister.”, Jinx said in a raspy voice. “I truly wish things had turned out differently. They are not helping me, you always did that. Even when you were gone, you never truly left me, kept me safe. Maybe I just want that back.”
Another unfocussed stare. The edge of the blade danced across Vi’s throat, chin, collarbone, goosebumps were forming. It made Vi’s ears ring, the thrill of a slight panic and exhilaration making her breath hitch.
Jinx’s expression softened and before Vi could react, her sister softly nuzzled Vi’s cheek with the tip of her nose, slowly leaving a trail of hot skin behind. Vi’s head spun even more. Not daring to move, she just let it happen, not daring to think, she just let herself enjoy the butterfly touches. It was a dream anyways, illogical things could happen without the need of thinking them through. Her body was on high alert mode so the adrenalin pumping through her blood was to be expected.
Jinx smelled like gunpowder and grime, a typical Undercity smell lingering in her clothes and hair but there was more to it. A faint echo of Powder came through the sensations, warm, sweet and homey, forcing itself to be acknowledged by Vi. It almost made her cry.
“Powder…” she didn’t intent to call her by that name but the association was just too close. There were things that even nightmares couldn’t twist, couldn’t corrupt into utter alienation. Didn’t stop it from hurting so much though, emotions crashing like tidal waves inside of her.
Powder pressed her cheek against Vi’s, standing still for but a moment. It was almost like back then, when Powder had nightmares, Vi shooing them away by embracing her, telling her it would be alright, there were no monsters there, Vi would protect her. Another set of lies, back to back to fucking back. Tears stung in the corners of her eyes now but she wouldn’t think of them.
Soon enough Powder leaned back and before her sister could really register everything, there she was, Jinx again, one foot of Vi’s window, one foot already on the roof. Vi could see her tucking the knife back into her belt, not sparing her a second glance. Leaning down to fully slip away, she hesitated and spoke:
“Maybe it is not too late. Maybe you can show me what you mean. I do need you after all, in… one way or another. If there truly is something left of my sister, I want to find it again. Maybe get to know you again.”
Violet pink met powder blue, both aware of the heavy air even still between them, a thousand things left unsaid, for worse or better.
“Just know… I don’t think I can take another heartbreak.”
And then it was just Vi, sitting in her bed, cold air wafting through the open window, leaving her wondering, pondering her thoughts and feelings.
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Morning came sooner than Vi wished. She had another shift at 1pm, something something important meeting. She dreaded attending yet another boring confrontation with meaningless babble and the arse kissing of some of her colleagues made her sick.
Still, Cupcake would also be there and they had the shift together again, it would keep her mind from wandering. Even if just to pull funny faces and make her laugh.
The whole time getting ready she just couldn’t shake a sense of fatigue that had plagued her yet again. Another nightmare, churning in her head, making it difficult to focus on the motions of putting on her uniform.
This time it was what… Jinx, coming to kill her, a heart-to-heart and a flood of emotions played through her mind. It had felt so real, the knife, her voice, her touch, her smell. She definitely shouldn’t keep sleeping with the windows open if this is what her brain came up with.
Shaking her head, she made the final adjustments to her outfit in front of a mirror, fixing her tie in place. Something made her pause though.
A small, slightly bloody cut had formed under her chin which she hadn’t even felt in the shower. A red line marred her skin, right where… Jinx had placed the blade, in her dream.
...
Oh fuck.