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They were simple. Blissfully uncomplicated. And that’s just how they liked their relationship to be.
There was a beautiful simplicity to the way they talked and interacted with each other. Small gestures of fingers and the tilting of chins giving away everything running through the mind of the other, understood easily by them, but a completely foreign language to anyone else. It wasn't surprising given those gestures were generally unaccompanied by spoken words. They were often asked how it worked at all. They would look at each other and shrug, and Makoto would say, “We understand each other” as if that explained everything. And for them, it did. It made sense.
Growing up together can expose people. Seeing and interacting with each other almost daily meant learning every tiny quirk about the other, and learning to associate them with certain feelings. Makoto often tilted his head to the side when he was happy. Haruka didn’t like attention focused on himself, so he would turn his head away to gaze longingly at the nearest source of water if he became the topic of conversation. It was a way to show he was feeling a little uncomfortable, but even people other than Makoto seemed to pick up on that particular message.
As kids, Makoto was ever thankful for Haruka’s constant comforting presence. Though Makoto was quite timid, Haruka never found it burdensome to stick by his side when things got tough for him. When he got scared, Haruka noticed that Makoto tended to curl a fist to his chest, squeezing tight enough for the skin over his knuckles to turn white. But only one. The other would be curled in a similar fashion by his side. It became a simple matter for Haruka to reach out and take it, rubbing his thumb in small circles over Makoto’s knuckles until slowly, one by one, his stiff fingers would uncurl and he would relax. On the day they stood together on the pier, watching mourners pass by one by one to pay respects to the fishermen lost at sea, it was easy for Haruka to slip his own fingers between Makoto’s, letting him squeeze the life out of them instead. It bordered on painful at times, but Haruka didn’t mind so long as it helped Makoto stay somewhat grounded. Makoto had apologized afterwards as he massaged some life back into Haruka’s fingers, and told him he didn’t need to do that anymore. But Haruka had assured him over and over again that it was fine, and that it was never “I have to”; it was “I want to”. They had fallen asleep together on the floor of Makoto’s room that night, still lightly gripping each other’s fingers.
As they grew older, things began to change. Before Haruka knew it, Makoto had grown taller than him. He had gotten bigger and stronger, filling out over the years, and ha was really starting to become his own person. He grew out of his overly timid nature for the most part (though there were times that it attempted to resurface), and Haruka took that to mean he didn’t need to hold his hand anymore. It had taken some getting used to, as habits can be difficult to break, but Haruka knew he would do what Makoto needed. And if he didn’t need to hold his hand, he wouldn’t do it. It didn’t change anything between them, it just was. They adjusted to each other. That’s how they worked.
But it turned out, things would continue to change from there on out. Life continued to get more difficult, what with the pressures from friends and school alike. Haruka hated that people were trying to make decisions for him. He hated that people were telling him to “make them proud” when all he wanted to do was swim for himself, to enjoy the feeling of the water surrounding him. He had never been one to care about the competition aspect of swimming; it was something he enjoyed, so he did it. It was simple. Why were others trying to make it so complicated?
And why was Makoto on their side, too?
In reality, they were probably lucky that their first big fight didn’t occur until their 3rd year. Most people can’t pull that off in a friendship lasting as long as theirs. On the other hand, that’s probably what caused it to hurt even more when all of the built-up anger and frustration finally came to a head.
Makoto had seen it all, playing out in front of him like a play on a stage. Haruka receded little by little, and Makoto had to watch as the spark they had all worked so hard to help rekindle disappeared from Haruka’s eyes once again. It was painfully obvious to him that Haruka was struggling to find himself, and it hurt even more knowing he couldn’t truly help. Whatever Haruka’s dreams were, they were his own, and he didn’t want to impose his own thoughts on his best friend where they weren’t wanted. Unsolicited advice wasn’t on Haruka’s list of favorite things. But eventually, even Makoto couldn’t stand to watch anymore. He was losing his best friend, and that realization overruled every other point of reason in his head.
“The truth is, you want to find a dream, too! You should find that dream, and use it to take flight into the outside world! You have the ability to do that!”
“Even you’re talking like this?! Where I swim and who I swim for… I’m free to decide that for myself! And I’m saying I’m fine with the way things are!”
Lies. All lies. And Makoto could see right through them all. Pretty words might work on others, but not on him.
“But you’re not fine! That’s why we’re all telling you this! It’s because we all love you… Because we all care about you… Why can’t you understand that?!”
“Stop sticking your nose in everyone else’s business! Don’t decide other people’s futures when you haven’t even decided on your own!”
Too late, Makoto thought. He waited too long to speak up. He should’ve said something sooner. He had warred with himself for a while, wondering when would be a good time to let Haruka know he had found a dream. He was excited to have a plan, but he couldn’t bring himself to decide whether or not it would be a good idea to tell Haruka, because he didn’t want to put additional pressure on his shoulders. But now… now he had no choice.
“… I have decided. I’m going to a university in Tokyo.”
Haruka’s world shattered. Blown to pieces like the fireworks firing in the distance. Ironic, he thought, that the dazzling lights used in times of celebration were instead representing the hole blown through the middle of his life. He had had enough. Enough of people trying to tell him how to live his life.
“Do whatever you want!”
Haruka knew he couldn’t run away forever. The idea of leaving all of his problems behind him was incredibly tempting, though he knew it wasn’t a reasonable option. Soon, he would have to face the issue head-on. For now, he just wanted a little more time for life to be simple.
A little more time to be free.
***
Australia was beautiful. He still didn’t truly understand what the point coming all the way here was, but at least it gave him a chance to clear his head away from everything else. Makoto and the others were all the way across the vast expanse of the ocean, where he couldn’t see. He felt largely out of place, a space in his chest aching slightly, but he knew deep down that this would be good for him. He needed to take this time to collect himself without distractions.
Russell and Lori were very sweet people, and though he felt even more awkward around them due to his lack of English proficiency, he was glad to meet them. Lori had even made them mackerel, a surefire way to reach Haruka’s heart. They had been very gracious hosts, making sure to include him in their conversations while being patient when it took him time to comprehend and respond. He kept his answers short, but they didn’t seem to mind. He assumed they were just happy he was participating at all, since it appeared they knew a little bit about the reason behind their visit. They didn’t want to push him, but didn’t want him to seclude himself.
Rin had helped him realize some very important things on that impromptu trip, and it all culminated in the moment he stood on the starting block at the Sydney Aquatic Centre pool. In that moment, his head had been clear for the first time in months, and when he stared at the open water illuminated by the sun filtering through the glass windows overhead, it became blatantly obvious that this, this is where he wanted to be.
I want to swim.
When he dove into the pool, fingers slicing through the clear water and carving his way to the other end, it felt incredible. Natural. There was no tangled web of emotions and thoughts holding him back and slowing him down. He knew where he was and where he wanted to go.
He had found his dream in the calm, simple clearness of the water he loved.
***
Makoto had been more understanding than he could’ve possibly imagined. There wasn’t a single trace of anger or malice, and he welcomed Haruka home with the same soft smile he had given him hundreds of times growing up. It was easy and familiar, and it left Haruka at a loss for words. Despite all that had happened, Makoto was still there for him, supporting him and making sure that he was okay. Makoto wasn’t going to give up on him; their bonds was much too strong to be destroyed by a single fight. But Makoto’s belief in him and their easy understanding of each other was something that Haruka had grown used to, and had even begun to take for granted. He hadn’t realized just how important their unique bond was until he feared it had weakened. He knew now, however, that he would never make that mistake again.
He had felt it during their relay. They all had. An incredible sight known only to them, grown out of the trust they put in each other. They had written them down, sealing them away to be opened a number of years down the road. What would it be like, reliving that moment? What would be different? What would be the same? Haruka didn’t have the answer to any of those questions, but the thought didn’t scare him anymore. He didn’t fear what the future would bring. He wanted to embrace it.
Haruka and Makoto walked home together that night, chatting idly about the weeks to come. They were going to have to leave for Tokyo soon to begin working toward their respective dreams. As usual, Makoto was the more talkative of the two, but Haruka gave his input where necessary. As they got closer to home, however, Makoto started to fall silent, which prompted Haruka to look to his friend for any sign of something wrong. What he saw instead was the same happy Makoto from earlier, face tilted up to gaze at the stars dotting the night sky. The tips of Makoto’s ears turned red when he caught Haruka staring. Before Haruka could apologize for staring, Makoto reached out tentatively and looped his pinky with Haruka’s, holding tight.
Haruka stopped walking and looked down at their hands. Slowly, Makoto shifted his grip, ghosting his fingers across Haruka’s palm before settling them into the spaces between his fingers. He squeezed lightly, and Haruka reciprocated without any hesitation.
”Sorry… But I’ve missed this, you know?” Makoto seemed embarrassed about the admission.
“I didn’t think you wanted me to continue doing it,” Haruka stated.
“It was a little different when we were kids,” Makoto said. “I didn’t… The implication now isn’t the same.”
“I know. But I don’t mind it.”
“Haru…” Makoto turned away, taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts. “Are you sure you understand what I mean by that?” There was no way he was going to ruin this because of a misunderstanding.
“Makoto. I’ve known you my whole life. Trust me, I understand. And I know what I want.” He reached out and took Makoto’s other hand in his own, stepping closer until they were chest to chest. Haruka rested his cheek against Makoto’s broad chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart beating beneath it. Makoto dropped Haruka's hands, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and holding him tight. Haruka squeezed Makoto’s waist in return.
They really couldn’t say how long they stay like that, feeling the warm late-summer breeze teasing through their hair and enveloping them in their own little bubble. The reality was, they didn’t care. They would’ve been content to stay there forever, if that were possible. But in that moment, there was no rush; they could slow down for a little while and enjoy the presence of each other without the need to worry about anything else.
Simple.
Makoto rested his chin lightly on Haruka's head and began to rub circles into his back, which slowly evolved into other patterns. Haruka tangled his fingers into the back of Makoto’s shirt and relaxed into the touch. Eventually, Makoto’s hands made their way up to card through Haruka’s hair, soft and shiny despite spending countless hours in chlorine pools. Then, Makoto’s ministrations stopped altogether, and he pulled away slightly.
“Haru.”
One word. His name, spoken by the same voice he had heard over and over again throughout his life. Yet even after all this time, he had never heard it spoken quite like that before, with a breathless, husky tone coloring it. Haruka looked up into the green eyes he had become overly familiar with, seeing a kind of brightness that was new, even to him. Makoto placed his hands on either side of Haruka’s face, holding him still. He could feel the slight tremble in Makoto’s fingers, his palms slightly sweaty, but not uncomfortable. He ran a thumb over Haruka’s bottom lip, leaning in closer.
”Haru,” he whispered again. The anticipation was squeezing his chest, but he wanted to give Haruka time to pull away if necessary.
Instead, Haruka placed a hand over one of Makoto’s, lining their fingers up. A confirmation.
“Makoto.”
Makoto tilted Haruka’s face up toward his own. He licked his lips to wet them, noting how Haruka’s eyes followed the movement as he did. He stared into the vast blue of Haruka’s eyes as he closed his own and leaned down to bridge the distance between them.
It was tentative and cautious, but it was also full of the love and adoration the two had been building up for each other over the course of their entire lives. It felt inherently right, as if this was supposed to happen from the start and they only now figured it out. They stayed fairly still to start, concentrating on the feel of each other’s lips – Haruka’s thin and smooth, and Makoto’s slightly chapped, probably from licking them too much beforehand.
Soon, they pulled away. Makoto rested his forehead against Haruka’s, breathing deeply. His heart was hammering in his chest from nervousness, but he couldn’t possibly be happier in this moment. Soon enough, he threaded his fingers back into Haruka’s hair, gently encouraging him to kiss him again. Haruka easily obliged.
They broke apart and came back together again and again, slowly gaining confidence as they learned to move with each other. Haruka eventually opened his mouth a little, tilting his head to give them a better angle, and worked on deepening the kiss. This was all so new, and they were both acting entirely on instinct and what felt right, judging the reactions of the other and learning from each other. When Makoto finally started to catch on and let his mouth open slightly against Haruka’s in return, something snapped between them.
Makoto was the first to hesitantly reach out and slide his tongue against Haruka’s. The action was met with a sharp inhale and a tightening of fingers in the back of his shirt. Makoto’s own fingers gripped Haruka’s hair a little tighter, but he made sure it wasn’t to the point of pain. Haruka reached back out to him, touch after touch, until he didn’t even know what was going on around him. It was just the two of them, caught in their own little piece of paradise.
Haruka untangled his fingers from Makoto’s shirt, choosing instead to rest them on Makoto’s sides. He could feel the sharp lines of his hip bones at he moved his fingers across the planes of Makoto’s body. He hooked his thumbs under the hem at the bottom of Makoto’s shirt and let them rest directly against his skin, sitting just above where Makoto’s jeans hung low around his waist. Makoto shivered at the touch, exhaling deeply. Haruka’s fingers felt slightly chilly against his heated skin.
Makoto let another kiss linger before pulling back, touching his nose against Haruka’s before standing up straight.
“We’re still outside, Haruka,” Makoto noted.
“Makoto… I—” Did Haruka dare to be so bold? He honestly couldn’t say what would happen if this were allowed to continue. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to be next to Makoto. He still wanted to touch, to feel, to dive further into this blossoming emotion in his chest only Makoto could bring. It was new, but incredibly exciting, and he didn't want to cut this moment short before they had the chance to explore what it meant.
“Come over,” Haruka finally mumbled. “If you’re okay with it.”
Makoto brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear, kissing his forehead.
“Sure, Haru-chan,” he said with a whisper.
***
They proceeded unhurried, partially because they were still a little nervous, but also because that was how it has always been. There was no shoving each other against doors or walls or tearing clothes off, no roughness in the way they interacted with each other. They were careful, treating each other as if they were the most precious thing.
After they had slipped off their shoes and hung up their jackets, Makoto reached out to take Haruka’s hand again, drawing incoherent patterns into his palm.
“It’s okay,” he said. “Nothing has to happen. If anything gets to be too much, we can stop. Just say the word. I’ll speak up, too, if necessary. Deal?”
“Okay,” Haruka answered.
“Promise me, Haru,” Makoto insisted. “This is about both of us.”
“Yes. I promise, Makoto.” With that, Haruka pulled on Makoto’s hand gently, leading them down the hall to his room. Even though he lived alone, Haruka gently closed the door behind them. It somehow made him feel safer… Like it really was just the two of them in this huge world. He felt he could close them off from everything else and focus on each other.
Haruka turned slowly, looking at Makoto’s profile in the darkness of his room. The bright glow from the stars and the near-full moon was filtering through the window, casting a soft light across Makoto’s face. His eyes still managed to shine brightly, clear and focused. Haruka walked behind him and wrapped his arms securely around the other’s waist, hiding his face in his shirt. He could still smell Makoto’s cologne clinging to it, and he breathed in the comforting scent.
“How long have you known?” Haruka asked.
“I believed for a while – since middle school, probably. But I wasn’t absolutely certain until this past year. Watching you struggle to understand who you are and what you wanted to do was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. But I came to realize… that whatever you wanted to do, I wanted to be there with you. I wanted to continue supporting you in your endeavors, and I wanted you to reach whatever dream you had. I just… wanted to be by your side, and have you by mine. That’s part of the reason I had to much trouble telling you about Tokyo, initially. Even though I had already decided, I knew that once I said it out loud, it would make it so much more real. And that scared me.”
“But it’s okay now,” Haruka said “It’s all okay. We’re both going to Tokyo. We’ll still be together.”
Makoto giggled, turning in Haruka’s arms and rested his hands on his shoulders. “Yeah, we’ll still be together,” Makoto said with a smile. “I was floored when you had so many offers, but I didn’t want to be selfish and influence your choice… I wanted you to choose for yourself.”
“I did choose for me… But I also chose for us. I want to be wherever you are, Makoto.” Haruka wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss.
Makoto immediately began to kiss him back, securing his hands around Haruka’s waist and pulling him close. Their movements were slow and languid, feeling each other out. There was an unspoken understanding between them that said to take their time instead of rushing headlong into it. They slowly began to adjust angles again as they acclimated, taking the time to explore a little.
Haruka’s fingers found their way into the hair at the back of Makoto’s neck. It was soft, he found, and a little longer than Makoto usually chose to wear it. As he ran his fingers through it, he could faintly smell coconut from his shampoo. It worked well for him.
Makoto was lightly trailing his fingers over the small of Haruka’s back, noting how he was curving into him as time went on. He ran his blunt nails over the line of Haruka’s spine, eliciting a subtle shiver. Makoto imitated what Haruka had done to him earlier, slipping his hands under the hem of Haruka’s shirt to rest on his hips.
Haruka brought his hands down to Makoto’s chest and pulled away just enough to talk.
“We should…” he tilted his chin toward his bed. “My neck is getting a little sore from looking up at you.”
“Of course,” Makoto agreed, giving Haruka another chaste kiss. Haruka fisted his hands in the fabric of Makoto’s shirt, resting his head against Makoto’s chest. Makoto immediately pulled him into a strong hug.
“Haru, do you want to stop?”
He felt Haruka’s head move in what he thought was a “no”, but that wasn’t enough.
“I need a verbal answer from you, Haru-chan,” Makoto whispered. “It’s important.”
Haruka looked up at him. “No… I don’t want to stop. This is just new. And I don’t adjust to new things very well. I'm... nervous.”
“It’s okay,” Makoto whispered. “It’s okay to be nervous. I am, too. Can’t you tell?” Makoto was talking about his accelerated heartbeat, knowing Haruka had heard it. “Just keep talking to me. Any time you don’t like something or want to stop, speak up, and I promise to do the same.”
Haruka nodded once. “Yeah. Okay.”
They walked across the room to Haruka’s bed, and Makoto sat down on the edge. He made to lay down and ask Haruka to join him, but Haruka grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“Haru?”
“Wait… Please. I want to do something first.”
Makoto sat back up, and Haruka stepped between his legs. It was odd to be looking down at Makoto again. He hadn’t been able to do that in years. He brushed the hair from Makoto’s forehead and cupped his cheek in his hand, then leaned down to kiss him again, locking eyes when he pulled back. He ran his fingers back down Makoto’s chest, down his stomach, and down to the bottom of his T-shirt, where he hesitated. Makoto gave him a small nod, color starting to rise to his cheeks. He lifted his arms and Haruka pulled his T-shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor beside him. He ran his fingers over Makoto’s chest and set his palm over Makoto’s heart, feeling the strong but quick beating underneath.
“May I?” Makoto asked, hands moving to the bottom of Haruka’s shirt. Haruka nodded, and Makoto removed the shirt and dropped it on top of his own on the floor.
“You are so beautiful, Haruka,” Makoto whispered.
Haruka felt his face heat up. They had seen each other like this plenty of times, but this was so much different, an entirely different level of intimacy. Now, they could touch, caress, kiss, feel… experience. They could take their bond and make it even stronger.
Makoto wrapped his fingers around the tops of Haruka’s arms, encouraging him to sit down. Haruka put one leg on either side of Makoto’s hips, straddling him. They had both kept a pretty good lid on things up until then, but when Haruka settled down and their hips brushed together, they both felt a spark run up their spines.
Their mouths started to crash together a little harder than before as they felt their control slipping away. Again and again they collided, hands tangling in hair and tongues meeting as they gained confidence. Haruka had begun to move against Makoto, realization only dawning when his clothing started to get a bit uncomfortable.
Makoto laid back, bringing Haruka with him, and turned them over so he was propped up over Haruka. Haruka’s face was flushed sakura-pink, his hair was sticking out in odd directions from Makoto’s hands, and his lips were slightly swollen and colored a deep red. Having Haruka here with him like this, Makoto knew he never wanted to share this experience with anyone else. He reached for the button on Haruka’s jeans, giving him the chance to protest if he wished. When he got nothing, Makoto popped the button and slid the zipper down. Haruka lifted his hips to help, and his jeans joined their growing pile on the floor. Makoto ran his hands over Haruka’s hips, leaning down to kiss the places where his hip bones were visible. Another shot of pleasure ran through him at being touched so intimately. Makoto hooked his fingers in the waistband of Haruka’s underwear, sliding them down his legs and off. He ran his hand over the outside of Haruka’s thigh, leaning down to kiss him once again.
“Your turn,” Haruka said. Makoto nodded, laying down and letting Haruka move on top.
Haruka stared at Makoto’s chest, kissing across it until he was sure he’d covered every inch. When he moved to Makoto’s stomach, he felt a flutter in his chest as the muscles danced beneath the skin, tightening and relaxing in rhythm with his movements. He was the one causing this reaction in Makoto, the reason Makoto's mouth was still slightly open to accommodate his rapid breathing. Wanting to give Makoto the same effect he had received, he kissed Makoto’s hip bones. Makoto twitched beneath him, bucking his hips slightly at the feather-light touch.
“Ah, s-sorry, Haru… I couldn’t stop it…”
“It’s okay. I don’t want you to fight it.” Haruka set to work on Makoto’s belt, button, and zipper, and pulled his pants and underwear off together.
They had never been together like this before, completely exposed to each other. Their hands were shaking and tentative as they explored inch after inch of uncovered skin, understanding that this was a huge step for them. Haruka aligned his body with Makoto’s, giving them as many contact points as possible. Their skin was heated, but instead of being uncomfortable, it gave them energy to feed off of. They continued to move against each other, skin developing a light sheen from sweat and making their hair stick to their foreheads. Their mouths continued to clash, but it was much more analogous to an elegant dance than to a battle for dominance. And it felt incredible.
"Mmh," Haruka moaned into Makoto's mouth, moving his hips with more purpose, seeking out more of the delicious friction he was craving. He felt Makoto become bolder, moving his hands slowly down Haruka's back until he reached his ass, letting them linger for a moment before squeezing. Haruka could feel Makoto's arousal become even greater beneath him, his length pressing back up into Haruka's as their tempo increased. Haruka broke away, a thin string of saliva still connecting them briefly before breaking between them.
He stared at Makoto's eyes, glazed over in lust, and felt the rise and fall of Makoto's chest beneath his hands. To Haruka, he looked like an absolute angel - all tousled hair and flushed skin that reached down his chest. He wanted to ingrain the image before him into his mind forever, even with the possibility that he would see this sight - or one very similar - again in the future.
"Haru..." Makoto's fingers squeezed again, snapping him out of his clouded thoughts.
As much as Makoto meant to him, he wasn't ready to take that last leap. In fact, that was probably why he didn't want to take it too far yet. He cared about Makoto's happiness and well-being, and he didn't want to make either of them uncomfortable or ruin the mood because he couldn't decide whether or not to commit. If he was hesitating at all, that told him all he needed to know.
“Um, Makoto… I don’t… Think…” He struggled to find the right words. He didn't want to disappoint Makoto, either. “I don’t think I’m ready for much more. Not this time. I’m sorry…”
“Haruka,” Makoto said. He took Haruka’s face between his hands, forcing him to look him in the eye. “You never have to apologize for that. I don’t ever want you to think you can’t speak up about intimacy. It’s not about me, it’s about us. Besides… I was thinking the same thing, anyway. It’s really okay. That’s a huge step, and we really should give it some more time before we make the dive.”
“Thank you, Makoto,” Haruka said sincerely, relief flooding through him. “Although… It’s going to be a bit uncomfortable for us both if we don’t… Take care of this.”
“I can help with that, at least… If you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t mind that much,” Haruka said, giving his permission.
Makoto carefully rolled Haruka off of him so they were both on their side, facing each other.
“Do you have any... anything that can be used as lubricant? That will make it easier.”
Haruka nodded, turning to reach for the drawer in his nightstand. He pulled out a small bottle of massage oil, handing it to Makoto. Makoto flipped the cap and poured some onto his fingers, rubbing his hands together to warm it a bit. When he was finished, he shifted close to Haruka and pulled their hips together, both working to tangle their legs together.
Makoto reached down and tentatively wrapped a hand around both of them, feeling his pleasure spike. Haruka let out a hiss between his teeth, curling his head into Makoto’s chest at the onslaught of sensation. He felt Makoto rest his chin on his head, letting out a slow exhale that ruffled his hair. As Makoto worked them together, Haruka started to move his hips in time with Makoto’s hand, stimulating them both further. Soon Haruka was digging his fingers into Makoto's shoulder, trying to find an outlet for the growing pressure. They could both feel a fire burning low in their abdomens, growing hotter and stronger as they continued to work together. Makoto's free hand wound its way into Haruka's hair, holding him against his chest. He couldn't keep his own hips still any longer, matching Haruka's pace and adding to friction between them.
“Haah..." Makoto groaned out. "Haru… ka… Are you close?”
“Yes,” Haruka whispered back. He reached down between them and placed a hand over Makoto’s, desperately seeking a way to douse the fire. After a few more moments Haruka knew he was done.
"M-Makoto, I c-can't..." He wrapped his arm around Makoto's neck, burying his face into the pillow as he found his release, hips spasming as Makoto continued working them both. He shuddered with the additional stimulation, overly-sensitive and spent.
"Haruka... Haruka..." Makoto repeated his name like a mantra, curling in on himself like a spring before he finally came, adding to the mess Haruka had made. He placed his hand on Haruka's hip and worked on calming his heartrate.
Once they had a chance to catch their breath, Haruka reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a tissue to clean up with. He threw it into the trash bin by the stand and faced Makoto again.
Makoto’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t asleep. A small, delicate smile was there, and Haruka knew that whatever emotion Makoto was feeling was the same one currently taking up residence in his chest. It was warm and wonderful and happy, and Haruka didn’t want to let it go. He reached over and took Makoto’s hand, tangling their fingers together. Makoto’s eyes opened slowly.
“Hey,” he teased.
Haruka closed his eyes and shook his head, but he smiled back at Makoto. “Hey. We should shower.”
“Yeah, we should… Quickly, so we can go to bed. I’m tired.”
“We’ll save time if we shower together.”
Makoto giggled, raising an eyebrow. “Will we really save much time, Haru-chan?”
Haruka rolled off the bed and started heading for the bathroom. “Yeah. It's science. Saves on water, too.”
“If you insist,” Makoto said, sitting up and stretching his arms out above his head.
“I do. And Makoto?”
“Yeah?”
Haruka smirked at him, betraying any seriousness. “Drop the ‘-chan’.”
Makoto laughed again before following Haruka out.
***
Makoto was the first to wake the following morning. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, squinting in the late-morning sunlight streaming through the windows. They hadn’t thought to close the blinds before they had fallen into bed, both knocking out within minutes. Neither of them had even moved much throughout the night, as Haruka’s head was still resting on Makoto’s chest, using it for a pillow. Their ankles were still locked together underneath the blanket, holding each other in place.
Haruka’s hair was a little wavy and tangles, a consequence of falling asleep while it was still damp. Makoto set to work gently combing the knots from it with his fingers while using the other hand to draw more incoherent patterns across his skin. The action was quickly becoming a habit, he noted to himself. Eventually, he started to form words. He wrote their names first, then wrote their initials together inside of a heart like he’d seen in a movie before. It was a little cheesy, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He drew more little hearts all over Haruka’s hip before going back to words. He let his finger trace Haruka’s smooth skin, seemingly with a mind of his own as Makoto zoned out a little. Eventually, he noticed he had been tracing the same set of words over and over again, and pulled his hand away sheepishly when he realized what they were:
I love you.
“Why did you stop?” The voice made Makoto jump.
“Ah, sorry, Haru! I didn’t mean to wake you. I zoned out for a little bit.”
“Why did you stop?” Haruka repeated.
Makoto hesitated with his answer, trying to find the right words. “It was a little embarrassing, I guess.”
“You’re embarrassed to say that you love me?”
Makoto went completely still.
“What? No! That’s not what I meant at all! I didn’t… Think you’d understood what I had been writing.”
“It took a few passes, but I caught on eventually,” Haruka admitted. He started to trace a message across Makoto’s stomach with his own finger:
I love you, too.
“Haru…” Makoto whispered.
“It's true. I love you, Makoto. I always have.”
Makoto swallowed past the lump forming in his throat. Haruka had said that as if it were the simplest thing in the world. As if it were a given, something that had been since the dawn of time. And maybe it had, in a way. Makoto had always felt a pull toward Haruka, even subconsciously. There was always a voice in the back of his head urging him closer to Haruka like it was something meant to be. He’d thought he was crazy at first, but apparently it wasn’t so strange after all.
Haruka wiped a stray tear making its way down Makoto’s cheek. “Mako? You’re worrying me a little.”
“Sorry, Haru,” Makoto said, taking Haruka’s hand and kissing the tips of his fingers. “There’s nothing wrong. Not at all. I don’t think things could be better, actually. I love you too, Haruka. And I'm pretty sure I always have, too.”
For them, it truly was as simple and easy as that. They had loved each other their whole lives, and there was a piece inside of each of them that acknowledged that fact. It was a feeling grown out of years spent together, growing up together, and getting to know each other better than they even knew themselves. They had grown a truly unique bond that was kindled by an unyielding trust and understanding of the other. Truthfully, there were probably a hundred different ways to tell each other how they felt, and if they wanted, it could be pretty complicated. But they had always had a special kind of relationship, and it didn’t necessitate over-the-top confessions or extravagant spectacles to prove to each other that what they felt was real.
No, they only needed three simple words:
I love you.
