Work Text:
Steve the Intern
It was a dark and stormy night. The unqualified cook doing every. Single. Job in his fast food restaurant. He always thought his manager was a fucking idiot for only hiring a single person to look over an entire fast food restaurant. At this time, the cook,dishwasher, janitor, and more was flipping ‘burgers’ for the people that were dumb enough to actually eat this. Before the worker, Steve, had realized it, he was out of the special mix that his manager, and his manager alone used for the food. He waddled over to the back to grab the items to make the mix. Another of the reasons he hated his manager was how he expected customers to not notice how the beef in the burgers wasn’t beef. Nowhere close to beef. Just expired strawberry milkshake with brown food dye. Wow. Couldn’t think of anything else to make the burgers cost less to make. Although the difference in strawberry milkshake and beef was, well, quite a difference to say the least, nobody seemed to notice. As a matter of fact, the customers seemed to think the burgers were quite enjoyable. Steve was always confused by this. He had a certain hatred for the burgers, like the kind of hatred one would have towards another someone who says ‘libary’ instead of ‘library’, or that one kid asking “Are we there yet?”. Steve was now in the back, searching around for the ice cream machine and the food dye. He flipped the switch which lit a dim light that came from a light bulb just hanging a couple feet away from him. As the light switched on, he could swear that just out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement. Steve was panicking a little, even if he knew that no one was there. He progressed into the dungeon known as the back step. By. Step, his eyes darting around aimlessly for a minute, before convincing himself no one was there. He finished up, putting the mix in the container before getting back to the burgers, sighing at just how sad his life is. He served a couple burgers, cringing at the loud and wet chewing sounds coming from the obese person he was serving food to, but he knew he shouldn’t comment on it. After all, this was the woman who got them most of their money. Her name was Obesa, she was average height, looked like what most would call a karen, and she was so fat that she didn’t have 2 chins, or even 3 chins. She has just about 0 chins. “ Evening, Obesa. How’s the husband doing?” Asked Steve, wondering how she even managed to get a husband. Obesa looked up to Steve for a moment, and while still chewing, loudly said “He left me.”,said Obesa blankly. Steve looked back at Obesa, not sure how to respond to how not sad Obesa seemed. So he just walked away and started flipping gross burgers again. This went on for the rest of the night, until he finally got to go back to his apartment. Steve fell back onto his couch, not bothering to change out of his jeans before drifting to sleep on his couch. Steve awoke to the speaking coming out of the television. Steve wondered why his alarm didn’t go off, pulling it out of his pocket and pressing the button. And pressing it again. Steve finally realized his phone was out of battery after the third time he pressed the power button. Great. He thought to himself, before walking into the kitchen to get some breakfast, catching a glance at the clock, not processing how late he was for work for a few seconds. His eyes widened at the realization, and he ran out the door not getting to have breakfast or change his clothes. After getting to DcRonalds as quickly as he could without getting into a car accident, he sighed in relief knowing his manager probably wouldn’t be there. Steve walked in the building, not very happy about his life, and immediately got to making burgers for the impatient obese diabetics- I mean nice customers. Steve noticed the severed fingers DcRonalds used for the french fries was out, and hopped on over to the back to grab some more. He skipped straight to the stash of fingers the manager always had on hand, flipping the switch on so he could find the fingers. Steve grabbed the unusually large bag of fingers and was about to leave, but he dropped the bag unexpectedly. Steve staggered back a little, fighting to keep his balance after what he saw. There lying in front of him, DcRonBurgers with his left arm ripped clean off, leaving a dark, gaping hole where his arm would have been, and a hole in his chest signalling that DcRonBurgers had been shot. The blood on DcRonBurgers was already dry, and the stench of the dead body made Steve want to puke. Steve stared at the sight, not sure what to do. Should he tell the manager? Call the police? Dispose of the body? Finally, like a dumbass, Steve decided to not let anyone know of the tragedy so it would be easier for me to write this story. Steve left the back with his fingers, stopping when he almost ran into his manager. “Hey, Waddaya think ‘ya doin, pal?” Steve’s manager, John-Lynn asked angrily with a hint of an accent. “ Sorry, I didn’t see a dead body in the back and I’m not considering you the murderer right now just to be clear.” Steve stuttered, knowing that he did sound like he just saw a dead body and that he did sound like he was considering John-Lynn the murderer. “Ok? Well, i’m goin’ to the office, see ya, Steve.” Stated John-Lynn, not noticing the obvious nervousness from Steve. Steve nodded quickly and speed-walked away awkwardly, but then had a thought that made him stop mid-walking. If DcRonBurgers is dead, then who is outside advertising our burgers everyday? Steve questioned himself, his mouth opening slightly in deep thought. He shook his head, before checking the clock and heading home, wondering how he could,and if he should solve the mystery of DcRonBurgers. Steve arose to his feet at the sound of his alarm, scoffing because waking up in the morning SUCKS. Today he actually had time to eat breakfast and drink his favourite beverage. (Coffee mixed with energy drinks.) Steve stumbled tiredly out of his apartment and regretting his life choices he walked into DcRonalds. The first thing Steve wanted to do was go into the back, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t after what he saw. So he waddled over to the back anyway, and wow! DcRonBurgers is gone! Steve stared at the space where DcRonBurgers once lay in shock, so very confused at this sight. Steve couldn’t take this anymore, so he decided to quit his job. Steve rushed over to John-Lynn’s office, and threw open the door without even knocking like his boss told him to. What John-Lynn was doing traumatized Steve. John-Lynn had DcRonBurgers, who was apparently alive. Wow, somehow my job got even crazier. Thought Steve before screaming “I’M QUITTING!!!.” John-Lynn raised his eyebrows with an unidentifiable emotion because I don’t know what he’s thinking either before responding blankly with “No you’re not.” Steve stepped forward and tilted his head before repeating “I’m quitting.” Before getting another response from John-Lynn, he watched him swiftly pull a gun out of his jacket and shoot Steve. Steve looked down, watching blood drip down his shirt before collapsing, seeing DcRonBurgers looking terrified. Steve tried to scream for help but no one was there.