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The frigid December winds bellowed in the night. Blankets of snow cascaded from the sky, greatly obscuring the already too-dim streetlights. The incoming blizzard had made its presence known and it was only going to get worse.
Espresso pulled his head back from the curtains. “I'm glad that you got home when you did,” the mage stated. “I'd hate to imagine you being out there in that,” he gestured towards the window
“Yep! Divine’s blessing!” Madeleine called out from behind several large tote bins. The paladin sat on the floor entangled in a spool of Christmas lights. Every year he would check the bulbs, and every year Espresso would have to rescue him from his mess.
The mage sighed and shook his head. He doesn't miss the days of his indifference towards this holiday, but celebrating it can really be a hassle sometimes. Mostly the decorating (which he left Madeleine to do anyway. The world's best coffee mage is not going to go out falling off a roof.), but also music and the snow and the gifts. Growing up in poverty, there was little joy or spirit.
But this version of Christmas, the one he shared with his boyfriend, he did treasure. The house was softly illuminated in an orange glow by the lit fireplace. Warm and comfortable compared to the blizzard outside. A vinyl of Creme Brulee’s recent instrumental covers spun on the record player. The smell of Snickerdoodle cookies in the oven mixed with the smell of chili in the slow cooker.
Espresso smiled as he sipped his coffee. Nothing could top the real star of the show, though. He watched as Madeleine worked his way through the strand of lights, chewing on his tongue in deep focus. The bells on his antlers headband jingled with each movement of his head.
He is…frustratingly adorable. Those stupid, fluffy pajamas, that head tilt he does when he's thinking, the way he wiggles his foot in rhythm to the music…he could just squish him.
“That's the last bulb!” exclaimed Madeleine. “Now are you going to help me decorate the tree or just stand there looking beautiful,” he ended with a wink.
Espresso rolled his eyes. “Yes, I'm coming. And we've been dating for years, is flirting still necessary?”
“What can I say? Scarlet looks good on you.”
By the Witches, his eyes were going to become bowling balls.
The two got to work unpacking all of the baubles and garland and ribbon. There was so much glitter that Espresso was sure he was going to have an aneurysm cleaning it up. Still, he held his tongue. He knew how important this holiday was to Madeleine. And besides, the tree wasn't the only thing being adorned tonight.
His pants pocket held a small, red ornament-shaped box containing a very special ring. He had been planning this for quite some time now. Around last Christmas, actually. The cozy atmosphere of the home was rather romantic, he had to admit.
When the topic of marriage initially came up, Espresso knew that he wanted it to be a private proposal. Not because he thought he would cry, of course. Madeleine was slightly disheartened but respected his partner’s wishes. If there was anyone he liked showing off more than himself, it would be Espresso.
It all seemed perfect to him in his head. A beautiful compromise of both his and Madeleine's wants. A proposal, in the privacy of their shared home, participating in a domestic activity together, during Madeleine's favorite season. Yes, yes. Splendid.
Regardless, he knew he was going to say yes anyway. He could've proposed with a donut in a Costco the day after they started dating and he would've said yes. His mind and heart still raced with anticipation.
“Hellooooo. Earth to Espresso. Are you still with me?”
The sound of Madeleine's voice snapped Espresso back into reality. “Huh- what? Yes, I'm here!”
“You've been holding that candy cane and staring at the tree for the past five minutes,” said Madeleine. “Unless you've forgotten the rules? No two of the same bauble can be next to each other. They also can't be the same color. Two branches apart, please.”
“No, I have not forgotten your insane, made-up rules,” Espresso sighed. “I just lost focus for a moment.”
“They are not insane! Tree decorating is an art and I am the master,” Madeleine stuck out his tongue.
Espresso chuckled. “Right, right. Apologies, dear.” A long time ago, he would've cringed at using a pet name. It feels so natural now. “Do you want the iridescent beads or gold tinsel?”
Madeleine thought about it for a moment. “I'll let you decide, love.”
“It's your tree?”
“Our tree.”
It was such a simple acknowledgment, but it made Espresso’s heart swell. Our tree. Our living room. Our house. Our life. Together, inherently. Forever, hopefully.
In a bold decision, Espresso intertwined the two strands. It looked a tad strange but the colors complemented each other nicely. Madeleine looked upon his creation with an awestruck face.
“What?! It's never even occurred to me to do that!” Madeleine smiled. “But that's the kind of thinking I would expect from the biggest genius in the world.”
“I-I’m not– stop, you flatter me too much,” Espresso concealed his smile, and blush, with his arm. “The last thing I need is for my ego to be as big as yours,” he teased.
“And yet you still love me,” the paladin quipped back.
“I do.”
The two wrapped the beaded tinsel around the tree starting from the top. Each loop had to be perfectly spaced apart. Is it really the Christmas tree of two perfectionists if they weren't?
Through careful calculation, the tinsel ended just at the bottom of the three. Espresso’s heart rate quickened. Just one more box of decorations and the topper. Then it's time .
“Too much coffee, love? You're jittery.”
“Huh– what? No, no, no. Maybe? Yeah.”
“You should sit down then. I can finish the tree mys-”
“NO–,” the mage threw a hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant to yell. “It's just one more box and the topper then we can eat dinner and watch a movie and go to bed. Easy peasy, right?”
Madeleine stared at him. “O-kay…weirdo…”
Oh, he's fumbling it. He hasn't even done anything and he's fucking it up. What if he's already fucked it up? What if the ring doesn't fit? What if he hates the design? Is it not expensive enough? He's going to see how much of a fool he truly is and say no. He'll leave him for sure. He-
Espresso felt something hit the back of his legs. “Honey, please sit down. You're worrying me,” Madeleine said calmly. “What's wrong? Are you feeling alright?”
He collapsed into the chair. Oh this isn't how it's supposed to go at all! Damn his nerves!
“Y-yes I'm fine. I need a moment. That's all.”
Madeleine frowned. “Is it…overwhelming? I can turn off the lights or music…or take off the antlers. You can be honest with me. I won't get upset.”
Oh, don't break my heart. “No, no. It's nothing to do with you or any of this.” Except it's everything to do with you. “Do you mind getting me something to drink? A glass of Merlot?”
The paladin nodded and left for the kitchen. He doesn't normally drink, but he needs to get a grip before he freaks out into chickening out. It's fine. It's cool. It's four words, a yes, then boom. Engaged.
Madeleine walked back into the room holding two glasses of wine. “Might as well, right?” he said, taking a seat on the floor next to Espresso’s chair. “So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?”
Espresso shook his head. “No, I'm going to hold onto it…for now. But you'll find out.” He took a long sip.
His partner also took a sip of his drink before shooting him a questioning look. “Are you pregnant?”
Espresso choked. “ In what way would I be pregnant???” He hissed.
“I had to ask!!”
“No! You didn't! Actually! ” Espresso laughed between exclamations. As stupid as the question was, it did actually help. He finished his wine and set the glass down on the coffee table. Standing up, he said, “Alright. Let's get this finished. And afterward, I can tell you where babies come from. Apparently.”
“Oh, c’mon, Es. I was joking!”
“I would hope so.”
The rest of the tree went far smoother. Well, to an extent. It took a great deal of effort to stop Madeleine from eating all of the candy canes before putting them on the tree. All that was left was to choose the topper.
“I like the cardinal, but if you prefer the snowflake then we can do that,” Espresso said.
“We can do the cardinal. I'm partial to whatever you want.”
“But the snowflake is your favorite, no?”
“Well…yes. But I bought and like both of them. And I love you. So we can do whatever. Do you want the cardinal?”
“I want the snowflake.”
“... I'm putting the cardinal up there.”
“Like hell you are.”
Espresso lunged for the snowflake topper, but unfortunately, Madeleine was both taller and faster. He snagged both and held them above his head out of Espresso's reach. Every time he thought he could grab one, it would be pulled away.
“Is this a game to you?” Espresso’s fingers just barely grazed the bottom of the cardinal.
“Ah ah, kitten. Be nice to the birdie,” Madeleine teased.
“Ugh. You're so –!”
“Frustrating?” He said with a wink. The last pull-away of the snowflake topper finally brought Espresso close enough to lock his lips into a kiss.
With that, the mage finally gave up. Hands on the other’s chest, he relished the soft and tender kiss, allowing himself to fully sink into his partner's embrace. Madeleine let the toppers gently drop to the ground to cup Espresso's face. A hand trailed down his side to rest on his lower back.
Madeleine pulled away to press his forehead against Espresso's. “You know it's not all about me, right? Ironic that I’m saying that I know, but I want to celebrate with you. It's not fun if I'm the only one who gets a say in the matter. So I'm putting the bird up there.”
Espresso nodded and sighed. “But the thing is…today is about you.”
“...I don't follow.”
“Ugh. Damnit Madeleine,” Espresso stepped back from the hug. “...You may want to ditch the antlers for this.” The antlers went flying onto the couch.
“There is…one more ornament that I have,” Espresso took Madeleine's hand. “And it doesn't go on the tree. It goes on you…if you accept it.”
The paladin’s eyes went wide. “Oh?”
“You and I…have been through a lot. Both alone and together. At home and in battle. I admit we had a bit of a rocky start, but there is no one else I would rather have by my side,” Espresso felt himself tearing up. He could see that Madeleine was in a similar state, too. He's sure he has already pieced together what is happening.
“My rock, my refuge, my shield, and my solace. There is nothing I want more than to spend my last days with you. So please,” Espresso used his free hand to fish the ring box out of his pocket. Opening the box, he dropped to one knee. “Madeleine, will you marry me?”
Madeleine furiously nodded, wiping away tears. “Yes. Yes! Oh my god, YES!” He dove into the other man's arms and nearly toppled him over in the process. Espresso forfeited the attempt to keep his balance and assumed a sitting position, cradling Madeleine in his lap. Muscular arms wrapped around his torso.
Espresso lifted Madeleine's face from being buried in his stomach. “Don't you want to look at the ring, dear?”
His mouth formed an “o” and he flipped over onto his back. Espresso held the ring in front of him so he could see it.
It had a 14 karat gold band with interior silver plating, not too thin but not gaudy either. The center gem was a cushion-cut sapphire held by a pair of small golden wings accented with white diamond and blue topaz. The inner engraving read “Bound by Fate 5.2”.
“The second of May? What does that m– oh my!” The paladin's smile somehow got wider as the realization hit him. The day they started the quest for the soul jam. Of course, it was also the day they first met…much to Espresso's initial disdain.
Madeleine slipped the ring onto his finger, admiring it in the Christmas lights. His smile faltered slightly. “This is…incredible,” his voice dropped to a whisper. “It didn't…financially hurt you, did it?”
Espresso shook his head. “I really only paid for the band and setting,” a hint of nervousness could be detected. “The gems– I grew them. In my lab.”
“You made them? You can do that?”
“Well, yes, actually. While they are technically synthetic, they are chemically identical to natural ones if not bet–.”
The mage’s explanation was cut off by his boyfriend - no, fiancé - pulling him into another kiss. Strong arms enveloped him, laying him flat against the carpeted floor.
An adventurous tongue swiped his bottom lip. Espresso dropped his jaw, granting permission to deepen the kiss. His mouth still tasted of peppermint with a hint of wine. Every press of his lips carried the full weight of his love, heavy and fervid.
Espresso threaded his fingers in Madeleine’s hair– one of his favorite privileges. It was soft and smelled of coconut from his post-work shower. His free hand sought out warmth in the form of snaking its way up his lover’s sweater. His fingers momentarily stopped to play with his chest hair before resting on his collarbone.
Every squeeze, every caress, every drag of his lips spoke sentiments that need not be said out loud. I want you. Desire you. Need you. Now and forever.
This time, it was Espresso who broke away, desperate for air. “See, Mads? I'm happy to make out on the floor in the privacy of our home. I would be doing no such thing in public.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” the knight grumbled with a smile. He rubbed his cheek into Espresso’s collarbone and elected to stay there. The two lay on the floor in each other's arms, content in basking in the warmth and closeness.
It’s a surreal feeling. This life he was sure he would never get and tried desperately to convince himself he didn’t want. He was sure that he’d be slaving away forever, never having time for relationships or a home.
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. A flurry of emotions bombarded his chest. Indignation, restlessness, isolation, anxiety and fatigue all washed away with a glance at his lover currently curled up at his side. Hope and fulfillment flooded his heart. Oh, how he loved the paladin. Much more than any ring could represent.
The mage was in the middle of peppering his partner’s face in kisses when a loud grumble ruined the moment. Madeleine snorted with laughter, which would normally be cute if Espresso wasn’t completely mortified.
“Did nervousness work up your appetite, love? The chili should be almost done by now, yes?” Madeleine teased, rubbing Espresso’s belly.
“I…it’s been a long day. Allow me to check the timer,” the two reluctantly peeled apart. Espresso took Madeleine’s outstretched hand and stood up (rather ungracefully). He wobbled briefly and once again found himself being supported by his fiance.
After much assurance that he could, in fact, walk, Espresso made his way into the kitchen to check on supper. Thirteen minutes and 42 seconds. He suppressed a whine. It’s fine. I can find something to do for thirteen minutes.
In the living room, Madeleine finished the tree by putting the cardinal topper on. He stood back to admire his (and Espresso’s) handiwork. It still feels like something is missing.
He eyed the discarded ring box on the floor. Picking it up, he noticed the small notch on top– just wide enough to thread some ribbon through. Perfect. The ornament dangled nicely at the top of the tree, between a golden apple and a white horse.
Muffled footsteps from behind caught his attention. His ever-sleepy fiance trudged in front of the TV, holding the remote. Madeleine watched as Espresso clicked through the digital catalog of Christmas movies before pausing a bit too long on a vaguely winter-themed horror flick.
“Ab-so-lutely not.”
“Damn.”
Eventually, the two compromised on a newly released animated feature– supposedly both comedic and heartwarming with serious undertones.
“Now that that is settled,” Espresso said, gently tossing the remote next to the previously discarded antlers. “I set up a chili bar in the kitchen. Left out the onions for you, of course. There's also cornbread on the side.”
Madeleine prepared his bowl to be milder, adding only sour cream, shredded cheese, and sliced avocado. Meanwhile, Espresso stood on the other side of the kitchen island, dumping in a copious amount of diced sweet onion and green bell peppers, mango salsa, and honey habanero hot sauce. They shared a love of sweets but were on completely opposite ends of the spice tolerance spectrum. How incredulous. To make food so divine only to render it completely inedible afterward.
But it’s their differences that make their relationship so special, after all. Even as they settled onto the couch with their food and wine, Madeleine opted for a more relaxed and spread-out position while Espresso tucked and folded himself into Madeleine’s side.
They snuggled as they ate, the movie barely being paid attention to as they engaged in light conversation. Madeleine listened intently as Espresso explained his thought process behind the proposal and the method of creating lab-grown gems. He has no idea how he managed to capture the heart of such a kind and thoughtful person. In hindsight, he was grateful that he planned to wait until tomorrow to go ring shopping himself.
Dishes were set aside and the television finally had eyes on it. The film itself was…alright. The animation was gorgeous with a phenomenal soundtrack but the plot and characters fell short at some points. Still, for what it’s worth, he did enjoy it.
“So. What do you think, love?” Madeleine said. No response came from the mage. He looked down at him, wispy brown hair covering his face. His mouth was slightly parted with a small trail of drool pooling out. Of course, in his favorite spot, nestled between the couch and the knight’s torso, Espresso was fast asleep.
Madeleine smiled at the sight. It felt nice being a source of comfort and stability for his lover. He remembers the first time it happened like it was yesterday. It was an accident – and they were only friends at the time – but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t contribute to his developing feelings. What an honor it is for someone to feel so safe and relaxed with you!
In his usual fashion, Madeleine scooped Espresso up in his arms and carried him to bed. He’s done this for the past five years and it excited him to think about doing it for the next fifty.