Chapter Text
The air was crisp, the wind still and our destination might’ve been beautiful had it not been for its citizens. Loud sounds were heard from the training ring, and Evelanie could almost make out her brother’s voice amongst the many males. Or maybe that was just her imagination. Either way, her vision was cloaked in the orangish leaves of the bush that remained her temporary hideaway as the young half-fae’s purple eyes yet again tried to seek out her older brother’s.
Evelanie probably shouldn’t be here. Most likely. Certainly. Her mother had warned her multiple times of leaving their cabin in the Illyrian camp without company, and while she did realise the danger, how could she resist? Her brother was out training everyday while all she got to do was read stupid books and be taught about stupid politics with stupid leaders. The daughter of night was only 10, why she has to get taught all that still hadn’t clicked for her.
She never had enough bravery to walk up to them though, not when there were so many other Illyrian males that she knew from her mother’s stories and own observations, were not kind towards females like her. Instead, the young girl continued to watch them intensely, learning as much as she could, without risking anyone’s wrath. Her mother was usually out on errands or with her friends on those days anyway so Evelanie wouldn’t have to worry about her noticing.
A small sound was created when she shifted in order to get a better view, but the sound was nothing compared to the clashes of steel and shouts that remained constant during the waking hours. She could only observe as her brother was shoved to the ground, fought by a slightly bigger built boy. The boy’s hair was quite long, enough to be put in a bun, his tan skin was typically Illyrian, there was a roughness in his movements and Evelanie might’ve imagined it, but she swore she could see that desperate glint in hazel eyes, even from such a distance. Still, her fist clenched and a scowl made its way over her face. To say she was worried would be true, but also something she’d rather gorge her own eyes out than admit out loud.
Their fighting skills was equal. At least that’s how she interpreted it. The bigger boy’s advantage came partly with his size, but mostly with his desperation. He needed to win that fight, Rhys wanted to win that fight. Her hands clenched into whitened fists, and her breathing slightly fastened. When Rhys was pushed to the ground, she catched her breath and prayed to the mother that he’d win. Not only because it was more badass and they had a reputation to uphold, but also partly because of the bigger boy seemed strong, strong. As annoying as she found her brother, his death would be a tragedy.
Just like her prediction, the bigger boy soon held both hands onto Rhysand’s neck. Inside her bush, Evelanie shifted nervously, as her heart sped up. Logically, the female knew that they weren’t allowed to kill each other in the training camp. She still couldn’t silence the emotional and stupid voice in her head,
what if he killed Rhys?
He couldn’t.
Just when she was anxious enough to get up and interfere, someone did it for her.
“Hey boys, cut it out! Three lashes each.”
The voice was rough and the bearer even more so, Devlon, she guessed him to be as her brother had on some occasions spoken of the leader of the Windhaven camp. She winced slightly upon seeing her brother’s punishment, although the training quickly continued after that.
She wasn’t exactly jealous of their panting forms. But then again it would’ve been nice. Her mother, the lady of night would never let her fight, and no one else would understand her desire to. Well except her father, whom she might’ve asked had she seen him more than once a month. For why would a silly girl like to fight and be trained by those mindless beats that saw her as nothing more than an object? Evelanie still utterly despised the feeling of seeing her brother get stronger each day, make friends, while she was stuck watching. Okay maybe she was jealous.
Despite her jealousy, she couldn’t help but feel the familiar love from family each time she looked at Rhys’s silhouette. His hair that was now in a much rougher and dirtier, due to the fighting on muddy ground, those violet eyes, so much like her own, that arrogant smile he still bore for most people, and that glint of kindness that separated him from every other Illyrian male she knew of. The ache in her heart spread to her back.
Truth to be told, her current position was rather uncomfortable. Even without her wings out, (they would be a terrible pain to scratch against the bush, and make her even more noticeable to keen eyes) her back hurt and both legs cramped.
It was only the thought of being helpless left behind while her brother had the ability to fight, that kept her there. She would not be helpless in that situation, Evelanie quickly promised herself, no matter what her court saw fit for a female.
Only a few hours, when she knew her mother was soon to return, did she resort to rapidly darting away, avoiding the unwanted attention of any stray warriors or trainees. Even that was done with an unwilling stubbornness, the same one that her facial and bodily language always hinted at, like the ghost of a perfume of a scent one could not truly wash away.
Akin to her predictions, the Illyrian camp was quite deserted around this time of the day, most warriors training, either with the younglings or by themselves. The females weren’t out too often, and she assumed they were, similarly to her mother, out on errands, maybe cooking? Actually, Vela wasn’t too sure what Illyrian women usually did during the days (despite being one herself?). Either way, no one noticed while she slipped around, finally reaching the house she and her brother had recently moved into.
The warm air greeted her as the wooden door slid up, and she greeted it welcoming with a deep breath. Around the house, the furniture was wooden and made for a homely place where she and her brother recently had moved into. In fact, it was only a few weeks ago Rhys had started training. Of course, she had had the choice of staying back with her father in a mansion near the court of nightmares, but with both her brother and mother leaving, Evelanie hadn’t hesitated much before happily agreeing to move.
Under her feet, the floorboards groaned as she stepped further in. To her own felicity and good fortune, her mother had yet to return, still out, she’d said something of helping an old friend prepare a special dinner. In the best case, Evelanie would have a while to finish the schoolwork she should’ve done during the day.
A whine of pure annoyance and that sort of despair only schoolwork could bring out of poor youngling’s souls, escaped the young Illyrian’s lips at the mere thought of it. For a while she just sat there and stared into the wall. It wasn’t that the work would take a long time, or that it was necessary a lot of work, no, the female was actually rather smart and the whole day’s work would take less than an hour for her to complete. But to start with the work felt like such an impossible task, like a paralysis had taken over her body, and the more time that ran away with her daydreams, the tighter the grasps was of the paralysis. Instead Evelanie sinked further into the couch and prayed everyone would be home soon.
So, not to her surprise, two hours later, when her mother’s scent filled her nostrils and a soft ‘Hello’ filled the void of silence, her homework lied on the kitchen table. Very unfinished.
“You’re back” the young fae squealed and jumped up from the couch.
“Sweetie” she mumbled against a raven mane when her daughter jumped in her arms. Her facial expression was an inkling surprised at the enthusiasm that greeted her.
“When does Rhysie come home?”
“I’m not too sure, but at least within the next hour”
The young half-Illyrian then decided that she’d had enough of her mother’s arms and let go, “Well I’m bored”
“Have you done your homework?” the question hung in the air for a few seconds before Evelanie guiltily looked towards the table, upon it, her homework rested peacefully as if mocking her with a picture of some old guy.
“What have you done all day then, Evelanie?” Her mother’s tone was harsh, but not completely unloving, still, Vela yielded to the words of her mother.
“Mom, I want to be with Rhysie” her voice was small, though it appeared louder against the pressing silence of the cabin.
“Vela, we’ve talked about this-”
“I want to train as well-”
“And that is not possible. I really wish you would’ve gotten that opportunity, but, baby, I can’t let them treat you like that-”
“But Rhys is there!”
“Well, you’re different-
“I’m female you mean.”
“Look, if you would’ve gotten the same treatment as Rhys, I would’ve let you train as well, but they would do horrible things to you, because you’re female. I’m sorry.”
“But I want to make friends as well, it’s not fair.” Evelanie’s voice wasn’t poisoned with the same anger, this time, her voice flooded with the water of sadness and quiet resignation.
‘I learned that a long time ago’ was what the older Illyrian wanted to tell her daughter, though she grew aware that it probably wouldn’t offer any hopefulness at all, instead she settled with another quiet “I’m sorry”.
The girl avoided her mother’s eyes, and silently walked into her room on the first floor. In contrast to her usual slamming the door in a way that would’ve fired up her father’s temper even further, she gently closed the door, a small ‘click’, being the only noise.
Evelanie stared out the window from her and Rhys’s shared room. The bed was cold.
She pondered upon why no one would ever truly understand the life she’d gone through, just like she would never truly understand such a complex thing as another’s life. As beings, we were all cursed to be lonely. Though until recently this hadn’t bothered her far too much, she had her brother and mother, that was really all she desired for. But now. Now they all slipped away from her fingers, much like sand, leaving her stranded on a lonely beach, staring at the horizon.
Rhys was out making friends, practising fighting, getting stronger, she was sure that by the end of the year, he’d be too embarrassed to even talk with someone like her, a clueless, worthless, good at nothing female (okay she might’ve been exaggerating one tiny bit there, Evelanie was good at quite a lot of stuff anyway). And her mother, she spent all more and more time with her mate, and some friends. Which to be fair, wasn’t unusual when one had raised two children and they finally started to get a bit more independent. Still, it didn’t exactly help Vela’s growing nerves.
But her loneliness grew along with her room, along with her room who seemed way too big for her lack of personality. The place was a tad chilly, and by how dark it was already, she would’ve guessed that the clock was at least 6, if not later, since the sun seemed to despise the Illyrian winters. Evelanie could only partly agree.
A loud thump and the voice of a boy woke her up from spiralling thoughts.
Rhysand.
The girl didn’t forget her earlier rage, but decided to push it down for the while in favour of seeing her brother again.
“Rhy-” but when she came out to meet her brother, it was not only his scent that greeted her. Another boy shied there, slightly behind Rhys’s smaller form. It seemed he was hiding from her mother’s glare of steel. He had the same glint of desperation in his hazel eyes like she’d seen at the camp earlier, but this time, the majority of it was glazed with fear. His dark-brown hair was badly cut, and his clothes worn, nothing about his appearance looked better than hers (in her young eyes at least). Yet, there were something about the way his cheeks flushed with earlier amusement, how he’d entered with a smile, and his casual demur around Rhysand that made her... not jealous, but longing for that sort of friendship.
Rhysand was the only one to speak.
“Hey mother, and Vela,” he nodded at her before continuing, “this is Cassian, he’s my friend, he’s got no place to sleep, please, mother, let him stay here.” he practically begged their mother, to both of the females’ surprise, and Evelanie’s heart broke for her brother’s friend, nobody deserved that, the lack of both house and home. Despite the male whom she now knew as Cassian being faced with her mother’s stare, he didn’t back down, but continued to hold an eye contact with that stubborn edge to it that Evelanie could recognise anywhere, for she had the same one, each and every time her gaze slid over a mirror.
The room was silence for a few seconds and with each one, the tension grew thicker. Soon it was a wonder any of the Illyrians could breathe and move. The youngest daughter was just about to interfere and say something in favour of her brother, when her mom answered.
“Get in the bath you two, or I’ll throw the both of ya out again” Their mother said, affectionally after the moment of contemplation.
“Thank you so much mother!”
“I appreciate it, lady” Cassian mumbled, his eyes trying to meet the lady of night, but failing. Rhysand soon dragged him up to the bathroom.
Vela could only watch as the two boys ran up the stairs, giggling to each other. Her betrayed stare was the only response her mother got.
She’d spent years, no every year, wishing for a friend. Every solstice, every Starfall she’d look up to the stars she assumed were her ancestors and pray to the mother, and every fucking god she knew, that one day she’d get a friend. And now Rhysand got one. The first week of him being at the camp. While all she’d gotten was chronic boredom and a whole lot of even more boring homework.
As if reading her mind (you know that ability that parents always seem to have), her mother responded to those silent thoughts, “he could be your friend too, can’t he? I’m sorry, but I’d advise you to make the best of this situation.”
She nodded.
“Vela?”
She nodded again.
“I’m really sorry.”
She nodded for the third time.