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Emmrich doesn't look up from his desk when she enters, completely absorbed by the book he is studying despite the late hour. She doesn't make herself known yet, instead Rook watches as he takes down his own thoughts in a notebook. She knows his handwriting well by now, even and meticulous but not without embellishments. She grins when he starts muttering, repeating half a sentence from the book and then arguing its plausibility with himself.
She enjoys seeing him like this, his brilliant mind weaving through problems the scholars of Thedas have hypothesized over for centuries. Back during her studies, Rook often struggled to even finish reading the instructions of what she was supposed to do. She was never a patient woman and she didn't find joy in the theoretical, experimental parts of the curriculum if they didn’t include blowing things up.
Maybe if she'd had a teacher like him back during her apprenticeship, she would have developed an interest in the more philosophical aspects of the arcane arts. Instead, she just raced through her assignments until she was deemed a proper mage. Then again, if Sol, the Seer she apprenticed under, had been anything like Emmrich, Rook might have been even more distracted. She wouldn’t have enjoyed the more formal education that Emmrich’s students undergo, but thinking of the hours of lectures she could have spent in his presence, unabashedly staring, hanging on his every word, makes something stir at her center.
Finally, she walks towards him. “Still hard at work, Professor?” The title is a remnant of the half-fantasy that her brain started spinning just now and that she doesn't feel like holding back.
Emmrich startles and looks up at her like it takes him a second to remember where he is. Then, warmth washes over his face.
“Darling! I found the most fascinating theory on the hereditary transmission of magical abilities. The author suggests that exposure to magical energy is a far greater indicator than pure biology, which would explain why children with magical abilities born into families of non-mages tend to display signs much later. Now, this is not a new theory by any means, but he takes it further, proposing that with enough exposure to the fade, anyone could manifest the ability to wield magic, that one might even purposefully pursue it.” As he excitedly explains, he reaches for her hand, pulling Rook in closer, and intertwines their fingers. She lets him and sits down on the edge of the desk, smiling at him.
“Sounds like Tevinter’s worst nightmare. Hard to uphold a class system when everyone has access to what divides it.”
“Hah, quite!” He squeezes her hand. “We already know that the creation of the veil cut off the ancient elves from their innate magic, but imagine: a world where every human has the potential for magic.”
“Maybe that is why the ancient Magisters were so powerful in the first place and were able to start a war against the elves. Maybe it's not just the elves Solas cut off, he just didn't care enough about humans to notice,” she suggests, and Emmrich drops her hand, excitedly reaching for his quill.
“Oh! Brilliant point, my darling!” He hastily adds another paragraph to his notes, and she notices, reading along, that he credits her for the thought. “I would like to include this in a letter to a dear colleague, if you’d allow it?”
“Of course! It's not as if I added anything groundbreaking here.”
He looks at her with mild disapproval and puts the quill down. “I really wish you wouldn’t dismiss your own abilities like that. You’re an astonishingly talented mage.”
“Talented maybe, but I don’t have a mind for theory like you do. I just rely on my instincts.”
He laughs a little to himself, and the warmth in his eyes returns as he replies, “You don’t even know how remarkable that is.” His hand finds hers again and brings it up to his face, brushing a kiss against her skin. “You picked up necromantic spells from me only by watching. I’ve never seen anybody do that before.”
“Maybe you’re simply an excellent teacher, Professor Volkarin.” Her voice has gone lower, rounder, and surprise flashes in his eyes.
“Wherever that brilliant mind of yours is taking you right now, you should put an end to it. This is not a dynamic I allow in my work.” He sounds decisive, but he can never quite hide how it flatters him when Rook is open with her interest.
She grins. “Oh, I'm sure there are students who look at you with more than just professional admiration. Passion is very attractive.”
“There… may have been one or two with youthful delusions of that kind,” he concedes, “but I would never enable such a thing. I have a duty to my students beyond teaching, and I would never take advantage of the trust placed in me.”
She rolls her eyes with fondness and leans down to kiss him. “I know that.”
“Good. And I don’t like the implication either that you and I aren’t equals. We are partners and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
His sincerity overcomes Rook, and she deflects, “I'm too old to be one of your students anyway.”
“It's never too late to learn,” he immediately insists, and she laughs.
“You really can't help yourself, can you?”
He has the decency to look a little sheepish at that, and she leans down for another kiss. This time he deepens it and doesn’t let her go as quickly. When they finally do break apart, Rook has to take a deep breath to clear her head.
“Alright, we have established that you’re the most respectable man I’ve ever met,” she raises one hand to stop him when he wants to protest and carries on, “who would never abuse his position, and that is one of the many reasons why I like you as much as I do. However,” her previously raised hand moves to his collar to straighten the skull pin there, “you might consider indulging my harmless little fantasy.” Rook wraps her fingers around the brass chains held by the skull, and pulls gently, Emmrich following immediately to lean into her. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while, Professor.”
She watches as his resolve melts away. “You’re a fiend, do you know that?”
Rook just smirks. “Besides, you wouldn’t even have to do anything. I could have been one of the countless students who would quietly pine for you and just think about all the things we could get up to.”
“You’ve never done anything quietly in your life, my dear,” he points out, and she slaps his shoulder, not bothering to hide her grin.
“Maybe in another life I would have. You'd never known the depth of my appreciation for you.”
“Is that so?”
“Maybe I would have gone back to my dorm after your lectures, not retaining anything you said, but thinking of your voice and the way you talk with your hands while I touched myself.”
She can see that her saying it so plainly briefly knocks the air out of Emmrich, but he recovers quickly.
“Touched yourself how?” There's a hunger in his eyes now.
Her mind takes a split second to calculate. She could tell him in great detail, make both of them squirm. There's another option, too.
“I could show you.” Rook's mouth feels dry, her eyes heavy, as she waits for his reaction.
Emmrich visibly swallows, then nods. The nerves set in as she toes off her shoes and undoes the ties at the front of her pants, his gaze on her fingers. Rook pushes the fabric down and off her legs quickly, with no regard for seduction. This time she doesn't stay on the side of the desk, she slides in front of Emmrich, and he pushes his chair back to make space for her body, as she sits her bare ass down on his notes. Rook raises one eyebrow at him, challenging him to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, Emmrich folds his hands in his lap, in an attempt to stop himself from touching her, she assumes.
His mouth falls open and he draws in a long breath as she pulls up one foot on the edge of the desk, spreading herself out. They've had sex before, but exposing herself and putting on a show like this feels different. For a moment she feels frozen, looking at him as he's looking at her, so Rook closes her eyes, pretends she really is in her bed, only thinking of him. The man she admires so much, whose touch she’s yearned for since she met him.
The familiar feeling of her fingertips sliding over the inside of her thigh pulls Rook out of her head. The air hitting her naked bottom half is cool, despite the fire that's always going in the laboratory, and she can feel goosebumps rising on her legs. Her own hand feels hot in comparison, but her skin gets hotter the closer she gets to her center.
Finally, she runs one finger up the line where her labia meet, arriving at her clit, and she can't hold back a shaky sigh. The touch is too light and her hips want to press up, chase the sensation, but Rook is determined to savor this. Her finger draws a slow circle, always on the edge of where she needs to be touched, over and over, until she can almost convince herself that this might be enough if she really wanted it to be.
She moves two fingers down and meets wetness without having to dip in. Spreading it over her clit deepens the feeling and she has to hold herself back from speeding up. Instead, Rook slides the two fingers in deeper this time. It coaxes a noise out of Emmrich, something between a sigh and a whine, and she opens her eyes, startled. Once she began focusing on the task at hand, she had almost forgotten she wasn’t alone.
The way he is staring at her makes a shiver run down her spine. She can see his jaw clench, and instinctively spreads her legs a little wider. His eyes are fixed on her hand, and she pushes her fingers in deeper before almost pulling out again. On the next thrust she isn't as slow, and her hips stutter with the sensation. Her hand speeds up, her breathing getting louder with it. It’s the only sound in the room, and she breaks the silence with a breathy Professor.
Emmrich’s hands grip the armrests of his chair, knuckles white, and Rook can’t keep in an airy giggle. She’s found a rhythm now that’s satisfying but won’t make her come. She might have said that he wouldn’t have to be involved, but she certainly hopes he will be.
Her fingers slide easier now, the movement helped by the wetness that's starting to run down her hand. Rook takes a break from fucking herself to raise it up to her face, and Emmrich’s mouth opens alongside her own as she pushes the fingers past her lips, the taste of herself making her close her eyes.
“Rook.” The desperate plea of her name makes her look at Emmrich again, and a slow smile spreads on her face after she's pulled her fingers out of her mouth. She reaches between her legs again, scooping up more, and this time she stretches her hand out towards him.
He leans in and opens up obediently, his lips closing around her fingers, and sucking with an expression of pure bliss.
“Oh, you're an expert at that, aren't you.” It's not really a question, and he just moans around her fingers. When she pulls her hand back, he looks up at her with almost comical distress.
“You know, you can ask for what you want,” she tells him quietly, half teasing, half genuinely reminding him.
“I… I want to taste you.” He seems to struggle with forming words, and it's oddly endearing. Rook almost wants to make him beg for it. Another time, maybe. For now, she shifts her hips forward, closer to the edge of the desk.
“Then taste me.”
He's off the chair and on his knees in front of her in moments. His hands grip her thighs with a strength that always takes her by surprise, and then every thought leaves her head as his mouth meets her burning skin.
He is as enthusiastic and yet meticulous as he is in his work. His tongue moves in patterns around her clit, dancing over her softly at first, then lapping up whatever he can get. Rook can't help but move her hips with him, trying to draw him in, but he won't be deterred from his plans. She cries out when his tongue plunges into her, his nose pressed tightly against her cunt, and then once more in desperation when he pulls back.
“Quiet, my darling, we don't want anybody else to hear, now do we?” He doesn't wait for a response she's not capable of forming anyway, just dives straight back in. Rook is mindlessly rubbing herself against him in an attempt to get as much skin contact as possible. He helps by guiding her legs over his shoulders, and she can't help but squeeze. Other than having to come up for air after a while, it doesn't seem to bother him at all.
After that, he returns his attention to her clit, and Rook has to stifle another cry by biting down on her lip as he starts sucking on her. It doesn't take long from there. She feels the pressure building, about to wash over her, and before she can let him know, she's writhing over him. Her hips are twitching with every wave, and Emmrich rides it out with her, his tongue getting softer and gentler until he stops touching her altogether to not overwhelm her.
All the blood in Rook's body seems to have pooled at her center. She feels hot and open, and she hastily reaches for his shirt, to pull him up so his body can cover hers. Emmrich gets up on evidently somewhat weak knees, and leans over her to kiss her deeply. Immediately, Rook wraps her legs around his hips, feeling his arousal press against her. It makes both of them groan into the kiss.
“Emmrich,” she gasps once their mouths have pulled apart. “I need you to fuck me.”
He looks at her with wide eyes and nods, before frantically trying to undo the clasps on his belt. As he wrestles with his trousers next, Rook manages to pull her shirt over her head, chucking it somewhere behind her, and pawing at her breasts, squeezing roughly while she watches him undress hastily.
She sighs with relief when his bare skin is finally on her. She expects his weight to push her down but instead, his arms pull her up.
“We need more space,” he mutters. She watches realization, immediately followed by regret pass over his features, before he leans past her, and with one swoop of his arm clears off the desk, letting everything clatter to the ground noisily. What must be the inkwell shatters on impact, and Emmrich flinches a little. He might have forgotten it was there.
Rook shrieks with delight, and then maneuvers them both to the short end of the desk, so that she can lay back alongside it. It's not comfortable at all, but she doesn't care. She watches as Emmrich wraps one hand around his length, stroking once, twice, before visibly struggling to stop himself. Then he's standing in between her legs, leaning over her, and his gaze finds hers, wanting to confirm what Rook already asked for.
“Yes!” she gasps impatiently, and finally she can feel him line himself up, the head rubbing at her overly sensitive skin, before pushing in. He sinks into her slowly, filling her completely. They're both panting, and when she squeezes around him, he drops his head to her shoulder.
“Amara.” He sobs her name, and she kisses his temple. It's the first time he's called her by her real name, and it feels like an incantation, him calling out to her spirit.
“I’m here. I've got you.” She murmurs comfort into his ear. “I'm all yours.”
Emmrich pulls himself up far enough that he can look at her face, and then starts moving his hips. Their ragged breaths line up as he moves within her, filling her, stretching her, until she feels like no other sensation exists in her body.
His thrusts become faster, less gentle as he loses control, and her body is pushed back across the desk, so she wraps her legs around his hips to anchor herself. She pulls, trying to coax him deeper, but there's nowhere left to go. He shudders as he spills inside her, crying out her name again, and it's enough for another orgasm to wash over her, gently this time.
They catch their breaths together, her arms wrapped tightly around him, and he kisses her with a sweetness betraying their position.
“You are a marvel, my dear,” he says as he straightens up, hands coming up to his sides as he stretches out his no doubt aching back. “You're also a beast,” he adds, and she laughs. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she rolls her shoulders, trying to loosen the tight muscles there.
“I'm too old for activities like these anywhere other than in bed,” he sighs.
“And yet…” Their eyes meet, and they both let out laughs, not because either of them said anything funny, but simply out of joy.
Rook looks around the room, at his notes and the book scattered on the floor, her eyes eventually landing on the puddle of spilled ink, glass shards dispersed throughout. With a wave of her hand, the ink disappears, and she at least manages to pull all the glass into a neat little pile.
“Sorry about that, I'll get you a new one.”
“I have plenty of spares.”
Rook snorts. “Of course you do.”
They clean themselves up and pick up the mess around the room. As Emmrich inspects his notes, he sighs and then shows her the now completely smudged page that he had been working on.
Twisting around, Rook manages to catch a glimpse of an ink stain on her ass. “Whoops. Sorry.”
“No, you're not,” he says with a slight smile.
“Not one bit,” she confirms with a grin, and starts plucking their clothes from the floor.
With an absent-minded flick of his wrist, Emmrich moves the bookshelf covering the alcove where his bed is hidden. From a chest in the corner he collects clean underwear and a large shirt for himself and as he's dressing himself in his sleep wear, he suddenly turns around to Rook.
“Would you stay the night?” He can't hide his nerves as he asks it, and Rook goes up to him to calm them with a kiss.
“Of course, if you'll have me.”
After a moment, his expression becomes somewhat mischievous. “I think you'll find I've already had you.”
She laughs. “The cheek! If your fellow Watchers could see you now.” Rook makes a show of shaking her head in disapproval, but she's still grinning. “I like you like this,” she finally admits.
“Oh?”
“Yes, having fun. Letting loose. It suits you.”
“It's your influence, darling.” He takes both her hands in his. “My life is a much happier one since you've entered it.”
Her stomach flips, a sensation Rook had always assumed had been invented for romance novels, until she met Emmrich.
“I--,” she clears her throat, “I feel the same.”
They settle into bed, Rook still in the nude, with her head resting on his shoulder and her hand over his heart. They've never actually spent the night together. There had always been the next catastrophe waiting for Rook, and even if not, they had both promptly fallen into their own beds, too exhausted for even cozy couple activities. It takes her a while to stop fidgeting. Eventually, the tension leaves her body and she melts against his side, ready to fall asleep.
“Darling?”
“Hm?”
“I take it you've gathered that I've… been with men before.”
Immediately, Rook is wide awake again. She pushes herself up, leaning on her elbow, so that she can look at his face.
“Oh, you mean from how you sucked on my fingers like you were trying to make me come that way?” She raises both eyebrows and watches with glee as Emmrich blushes. “Yeah, I noticed.”
“I just,” he clears his throat, “I thought I should mention it. I doubt that it would be an issue for you, but I didn't want to make any assumptions that would hurt either of us in the long run.”
Hearing him talk about them and the long run makes her feel warm in a way she's still getting used to. She lays her hand on his cheek, stroking her thumb back and forth.
“Of course it's not an issue. You don't think I've never been with women, do you?”
He laughs a little. “Ah. In truth, one of the reasons I was so surprised by your interest in me was that I didn't think you had much use for men, in that regard.”
“For the most part I don't, but it's been known to happen. It just seems that women have an easier time meeting my standards,” she explains with a grin.
“Shame on me for making any assumptions, then,” he says with a smile and kisses her. “Forgive me, I hope this isn't going too far, but were you and Isabella ever--”
He doesn't get to finish the sentence, she's already burst out laughing.
“Isabella? Absolutely not. She's more trouble than she's worth.”
“Ah. I hope you're not offended, but I've seen you looking at her.”
“Of course I do, she wants everyone to look at her. Do you think she wears that big hat for practical reasons? No, it's all a distraction. If you're staring at her tits, you won't even notice how you're giving away useful information.”
“I see.”
“I'm not offended, she's incredibly hot, but no, that never even crossed my mind.” Rook has a lot of feelings about Isabella, most of all gratefulness for giving her a place in this world when she found Rook with nothing to call her own, not even her own person. One day she'll tell Emmrich about that, but not tonight. “Besides, she was my boss, still kind of is. That would be so weird,” she says instead.
“Well, technically, my dear, you are my boss.”
“What? No! I would never sleep with someone I'm responsible for. That’s revolting.” She looks at him with indignation that he might even suggest such a thing while he looks extremely pleased with himself.
“Oh, how the tables have turned.”
“Shut up.” She makes him by grabbing his chin and kissing him until her head starts spinning.
Rook didn't lie when she told him during their dinner in the gardens that she's been on plenty of dates, even in relationships going beyond plain physical attraction. But this still feels so new and different, and yet so comfortable at the same time. Emmrich makes it easy to feel whole and at peace, even in a world that's crumbling around them. She had always meant it when she said she would do anything she could to save it, but now, for the first time in her life, she wants to save it for herself. She wants to see the life they should get to live together. For a moment the thought of marriage occurs to her, when she hasn't even sorted out what she feels for him, unsure if this might be that great true love that people write songs about. While it's way too much, way too early, she thinks that one day it might not be.
She wants to think of the future because now she has a future worth having.
He interrupts her alarmingly sappy thoughts.
“I also want to apologize for the use of your name earlier. It slipped out when I didn't have the wherewithal to check if that was alright with you,” he admits.
“I don't mind,” she assures him. She had already forgotten that it happened. There had been more important things on her mind at that moment. “You know, at first I really loved being Rook. She was someone on a mission, someone with a plan and with a team by her side.” It's the first time she's ever really thought about it, and talking to Emmrich always seems to help her put her thoughts in order. “And I don't dislike the name now, but it's a title that came with a job I never asked for. I like that you really see me, and not just the job I have to do. I'm happy to be Amara for you.”
“I'm glad, darling. And I admit that I find it quite thrilling that you're my Amara.”
It's so sweet and sincere, and just a few weeks ago she would have groaned at such an overly romantic display. Now it makes her want to pull him even closer. It's not physically possible, so she just curls her body up in a ball of contentment, and eventually falls asleep with his chest rising and falling evenly under her cheek.
Rook slips out of bed in the early morning hours, and sneaks over to her room in yesterday's underwear. She doesn't care if the others know about Emmrich and her, but she's not interested in any commentary. With the Lords of Fortune, everything is a conquest. What she shares with Emmrich feels too precious for that.
She gets to steal a quick kiss from Emmrich before Taash joins them in the Eluvian room, and they head to the Rivaini coast. There's a spirit that they told Rowan, the Seer, they would seek out and settle some unfinished business. It's the kind of thing Emmrich does for fun, that's why Rook invited him along. A lot of her trips recently had to do with spirits and the fade, so it made sense to bring him. Not that anybody has asked, but it's the explanation Rook has prepared.
“Hey, Emmrich.”
They're trudging through ankle deep water near some tide pools, looking for a clue about where their spirit went when Taash addresses him.
“Rook laughs a lot when you two have sex. That's good.”
Rook somehow misses where she meant to step, her ankle folding to the side uncomfortably, and slips, before barely managing to catch herself before falling.
“I… don't think you're trying to say what you appear to be saying, and I'm not sure if I should encourage this conversation,” Emmrich says evenly, but Rook notices the ever so slightly raised pitch. She does not turn around to them, instead staring straight ahead to keep going.
“No, I don't mean that she's laughing at you because you're bad in bed or whatever. I'm saying she doesn't usually have much to laugh about, but she's happy when she's with you. It's nice.”
“Thank you, Taash. I appreciate the sentiment,” Emmrich carefully offers in a tone that makes it obvious that this should be the end of the conversation.
“By the way, who's Amara?” they ask, and Rook holds back a groan.
“I'm Amara.” She was hoping she wouldn't have to get involved, but this feels like she needs to step in.
“Oh, good.” Taash sounds relieved. “I was worried he was shouting someone else's name. That would be messed up.”
“Thanks for the concern, but no, he got it right.”
“Wait, should I be calling you Amara? Is Rook not right anymore? Because Maevaris says it's just as important to call people by the name they want to be called by as using the right pronouns. Or-- wait, am I pushing you to share something you don't wanna share? ‘Cause I don't wanna do that either.”
“I'm still going by Rook, Taash. It's all good,” she assures them, almost touched by how seriously they take this and how thoughtful they are.
“Okay, good.”
They all keep going in silence for a while and just as Rook thinks they've put an end to this topic, Taash pipes up again.
“You two are really loud, by the way. Thought you should know.”
So much for thoughtful.
“Yes, thank you, we've gathered as much,” Emmrich says in a pained voice, and Rook sighs.
This is her life now. She has to worry about her friends, who she all lives with, overhearing her having sex with her partner. While they're all trying to save the world from ancient elven gods. It’s a lot. It’s also oddly fulfilling. Maybe, if the fear of the apocalypse wasn’t looming over them constantly, this might be the life Rook would pick for herself, given the choice. Maybe the impossible will happen and she’ll get to, once this is all over.