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Rook didn’t know why Emmrich was so adamant about bringing her back to the Grand Necropolis right at this moment, the night before the final faceoff with Elgar’nan. He didn’t give her any reasons why. He only said that it was important that they go. She was confused, but she was unable to deny him anything so she agreed. Emmrich usually had a good reason for everything he did.
It was quiet when they arrived. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon some time ago, taking with it the busyness of the other Watchers performing their routine rites and conducting meetings and supervising the upkeep of the Necropolis. Not a soul was around save for the gentle clatter of skeleton guards as they patrolled the grounds. It was peaceful, like a stroll through a darkened park under a starry sky. Rook couldn’t remember the last time she’d been inside the Necropolis after everyone had retired for the night. Maybe before she was a student, before her magic ever came to her.
She studied Emmrich as she followed him through the lower belfry. He usually walked either beside her or right behind if they were on a mission. This time he strode forward ahead of her, his back stiff, his hands curled into fists at his sides. She so desperately wanted to see his face. She wanted to know what was wrong.
It had only been a few hours since he and the others pulled her from the Fade prison. After taking a few moments to adjust and confirm that she was truly free from Solas’ trap, she had immediately gone straight into work mode and called a meeting. She had apparently been lost in the Fade for weeks—she could hardly believe it when they told her—and there was much to do now that she was back. Elgar’nan hadn’t been idle while she was gone. With Ghilan’nain dead, he had taken control of everything. It was only a matter of time before they had to face him and end this war once and for all.
Everyone insisted she get some rest, but she simply couldn’t shut off her brain. She paced back and forth in her room coming up with plans in her head until she made herself dizzy. It wasn’t just Elgar’nan that consumed her thoughts. There were snippets of Harding as well, and when would be a good time to erect a headstone for her. There were traces of Bellara, of her sweet and determined face, of her scream when Elgar’nan abducted her, all wrapped in swirls of hope that they could eventually save her. And then there was Emmrich.
Throughout the meeting he had been giving her an odd look, though that was perhaps an understatement. Every word he spoke was strained, his eyes dull, his aura weary. Rook had never seen him so disheveled. His collar pin was crooked, his face pale, his normally immaculate hair out of place. His eyes had lingered on her when everyone dispersed. She felt his gaze on her back as she walked up the stairs to her room.
She wanted to hold him, to erase the sharp memory of his disdain as she fell into the Fade, mixed into a collage of everyone else’s.
You failed us all.
Those cold words from him cut deeper than any of the others.
She knew it wasn’t real. In the moment, though, it felt undeniably real. She wanted to forget, but her agitated mind wouldn’t allow it.
She followed him into the furthest halls of the Necropolis. The light from the veilfire torches made their shadows flicker across the walls. Sand crunched delicately under their feet. She wasn’t used to it being so quiet. Normally she and Emmrich would be trading stories about their days before the Lighthouse or upcoming projects the other Watchers had coming up. Now, it was like most of the air had been sucked away. He didn’t say a word to her. She didn’t understand the silence. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she didn’t want to interrupt the many thoughts that were so plainly plaguing his mind. It felt like there was a fragile bubble around them, and speaking even the smallest word would make it pop.
It took until they were halfway through the Vault of the Beloved for her to realize where they were going. Emmrich pushed open the door to the Memorial Gardens. Despite the chaos outside the Necropolis, the gardens themselves were unchanged, still filled with color and soft light and the sweet smell of flowers. It made her feel a bit better. This was her favorite place in Nevarra, if not all of Thedas. She could always find peace and comfort among the graves, no matter how hectic her life had become.
Emmrich finally broke the silence with a long, deep sigh. The tension didn’t leave his shoulders, but his hands finally uncurled and hung loosely at his sides. He followed the stone path to a bench next to one of the memorial bells, its legs covered in small patches of moon blossoms. He sat down with a harsh thump. Rook stood by and watched uncertainly as he stared at the ground.
She waited to see if he would speak first. He didn’t.
She lowered herself onto the bench next to him. “Emmrich?”
He didn’t answer. She furrowed her brow and reached for his hand, laying limply in his lap. “Emmrich?”
As soon as she touched him he let out a choked sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob, engulfing her hand with both of his. His fingers were trembling. She leaned forward to get a better look at his face. His eyes were glassy and wobbly. His lips were pressed into a thin line, like he was fighting back another sound. Her heart broke at the absolute fragility of his expression. He was always so strong. She’d seen him upset before, but it was nothing like this. “Emmrich, what is it?”
It took him a moment to gather himself. “Rook…” He took a deep, shaky breath. “I thought I’d lost you forever in the Fade.”
It hit her like a tidal wave. Why he’d given her such pained looks at the Lighthouse, why he brought her to the Necropolis far away from everyone. She understood it all. And her heart snapped entirely into two.
She could only imagine how awful it was for him while she was trapped in that prison. While she had been wandering around the desolate gray landscape, facing her regrets, he must have been combing the Fade for her. She’d been gone for weeks—did he sleep at all? Did Lucanis have to force food down his throat to give him strength to continue each day? In all the time she’d known him, she’d never seen him devolve into such an emotional wreck. He must have been overjoyed to have finally gotten her back, but maybe he hadn’t wanted to cause a scene when they finally broke her free.
Her eyes softened. “Hey, look at me. Look at me.”
He met her gaze reluctantly, like he was afraid to do so. Like he was afraid she would vanish again. She brought their raised hands to her chest. Her heartbeat was sure and steady. “Do you feel that? I’m alive. I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
His body sagged against her, his head coming down to rest on hers. Some of the tension dissipated from his face as he drank in the sound of her heart like it was the voice of Andraste herself. “You were gone for so long,” he murmured. “I was beside myself…I was terrified that you…”
Another trembling sigh. He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Rook blinked back hot tears of her own and twined her arms around him, pulling him flush against her. She breathed in his familiar scent—sweet, earthy, and slightly smoky. She nuzzled the spot just under his jaw, reveling in the feeling of his skin against hers, of his hands on her back. She had gone weeks without him, even though it had felt like only hours. She could hardly remember the life she led before meeting him. Chasing Solas with Varric, traveling across Thedas, living at the Necropolis when she was a student. They were all foggy memories overshadowed by the warmth that was Emmrich.
It had been a year. He had changed so much in that year.
“I was scared too,” she confessed into his neck. “When I first woke up in that prison, I was confused and…angry that Solas had tricked me. After wandering the nothingness for a while, the confusion and anger turned to fear.” She gripped the back of his coat. “I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to find a way out.”
I was scared that I would never see you again.
His hand went into her hair, his long fingers twisting in the dark curls. She felt the effect her words had; his heart jumped anxiously against her chest. What would have happened to him—to everyone—if she had been truly stuck in the Fade for months, years even? It was something she’d had to think about while she was there, even though it made her sick to her stomach. With Solas gone and reunited with his dagger, he would probably go after Elgar’nan. After that, he would continue the ritual Rook had interrupted and the world would drown in demons. Everyone she knew would die.
Emmrich would die.
She pushed the offending thought away. That didn’t matter anymore. She was free. They would find Solas, stop Elgar’nan, and make sure the Veil remained in place. They had already lost Harding. They couldn’t lose anyone else.
“It took a long time,” she said,” but I realized that I couldn’t wallow in my regrets. That was why Solas couldn’t escape the prison himself. But I had to. I couldn’t let myself be trapped. I had people depending on me.” She placed a sweet kiss on his chin. “I had to find a way back to you.”
He gazed down at her, his hazel eyes filled with the strongest love she had ever seen. Love, admiration, and pride. “I feared the worst when Solas pushed you into the Fade,” he said. “I thought I had lost you for good. But you managed to defy the odds and return to us.” He kissed her forehead gently, then her eyes. “I swear to you, my darling, no matter what comes, I will let nothing ever part us again.”
The conviction was back in his voice, and it made her heart nearly burst from its cage and fly around the gardens. She smiled wide, then kissed him with all of the relief and happiness that she felt in her chest.
Solas tried to get her out of the way to fulfill his own goals, but it didn’t last. The gods tried to break her spirit, but they didn’t account for how determined she was to protect others. As long as her adversaries kept making these mistakes, then the war would be won. And as long as she had her new family by her side, she could face every battle with courage and confidence.