Archive of Our Own

Your promise must be

the reason

The happy season is here

So I’m doing

my Christmas dreaming

A little early this year

Christmas Dreaming — Laufey

“Do you have a color that isn’t so… bold?”

Joshua blinks, eyelashes fluttering as he tries to not roll his eyes into the back of his skull. His teeth are clenched tightly as he forces his smile, hands clasped in front of him so that he doesn’t do something stupid and punch this asshole in the face. “I’m afraid it doesn’t get less bold than this light pink, sir. Unless you’d prefer the créame colored one, I’d be more than happy to show you—”

The man waves his hand with a frown. “No, she hates that color. Says it washes her out.”

“I see,” Joshua says stiffly through his unwavering smile. “Well, what color handbag do you think your wife would be happy with?” The man blinks at Joshua. Joshua chokes back a sigh. “Does she have a specific color she tends to pair with her outfits? Maybe a more neutral one?”

“How should I know?” Because she’s your fucking wife. The man’s phone sounds loudly with a call, the abrupt sound ringing through the air and startling Joshua out of his anger like trance. “You know what, I’ll try YSL. Thanks for the help, man.”

Joshua smiles sweetly and bitterly, the man already walking away and talking business into the phone as Joshua replies, “Of course.”

Once the man is out of the neatly cleaned class doors, Joshua lets his body sag, muscles aching at the tension he tends to hold throughout the day. An involuntary gust of air leaves his lungs and tinted lips as he walks toward the handbags on display to straighten them up, another customer coming in only to be greeted by his coworker, something he’s grateful for as he goes into the back restroom that they have hidden away from the public. 

The lights are bright and golden, dousing him in a glow that makes him feel better knowing that he at least doesn’t look like shit. His baby blue, knitted sweater brings out the darkness of his hair, and his white trousers are neatly creased and match the dainty pearl necklace he chose to wear today because he’s been told it makes his neck look nice. Not that it matters, really. Customers don’t notice things like that, especially with Christmas only being a month away and their goal being finding the perfect luxury gift for their mother, sister, brother, son, daughter, significant other. Their focus lies on that perfect gift and making sure that Joshua and the other employees can deliver like their life depends on it.

He could make a joke about being an Elf (worker) in Santa’s Workshop (capitalism), but he’s better than that. At the very least, he still has his dignity. So, he washes his hands quickly and hurries back out to give his coworker a hand as a few customers come in to look at the selection displayed for the upcoming holidays. 

A woman is standing at the handbags, mouth pressed into a tight and contemplating line. Joshua swoops in with a charming smile and kind voice, offering some help that she takes happily.

“My daughter has been begging for a nicer bag,” she explains, her delicately manicured hand touching the leather handle of the cranberry red bag with gold accents. “But she’s only sixteen and I don’t want anything too… Flashy?”

Joshua nods. “Yes, of course. May I take you to the other side of the store here? I think those styles would be better suited for her.”

“Oh, yes, thank you! I also have color swatches of the shoes and sweaters she wears the most if you need them.”

Joshua smiles, grateful to have someone willing to help him help them and making his life the slightest bit easier. 

“That would be wonderful, ma’am.”

❅

Lunch comes after many dragging minutes. 

Joshua sits alone at the outside food court, unpacking his salad as a particularly cold gust of winter air hits his cheeks. The rest of the tables around him are practically vacant, no one else brave enough to endure the frigid Seoul air. Braverity or insanity—two sides of the same coin, really.

The silence is interrupted by the thud of a packed lunch hitting the table. Joshua doesn’t have to look up from unwrapping his utensils to know who it is, a rant already hitting the air like clumsy sleigh bells. 

“Can you believe some fucking men? Sorry, straight men. Married men. They’re married and they know fuck all about their literal wife. How the hell am I supposed to help you spend your money if you’re a fucking idiot!”

Joshua tilts his head, pointing his fork at his best friend. “On the shorter side, his phone kept ringing? He left and said ‘thanks man’?”

Jeonghan blinks, mouth gaping as he drops his spoon into his thermos of soup. “Are… Are you in my head?”
“Same guy stopped by our store,” Joshua explains, earning a disappointed huff from Jeonghan. “He didn’t even try giving me anything to work with and left saying he’d go to YSL—”

“Well, at the very least he was able to make that troubling journey,” Jeonghan laughs bitterly, sarcasm thick on his tongue. “He was a real pleasure—yah, what a fucking dick. And this close to Christmas, too! What happened to ‘holiday spirit’?”

Joshua rolls his eyes. “There’s still a month left until Christmas. Over a month, actually.”

Jeonghan gives him an unimpressed look. “Another year of being miserable?”

“Don’t,” Joshua warns him. They’ve had this stupid conversation every single year as the holiday season has neared and it usually ends up with tears (Jeonghan) and sometimes even physical assault (Jeonghan) and a lot of grudges held (Jeonghan). “You know it’s not my favorite holiday—”

“You’re the only person in the world that hates Christmas,” Jeonghan says over him and way too loudly even though there’s barely any people around them. “I know you don’t want to care for it and stuff, but you have to find something that makes you happy and in the holiday spirit—you know, scientifically, it’s the most romantic time of year.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re being whisked away to fucking Europe for the third year in a row.”

Jeonghan shrugs. “That’s just a plus, you can’t get mad at Cheollie for that.”

“I’m not mad,” Joshua says somewhat honestly. He’s not mad at the fact that Jeonghan has a hot boyfriend, a hot rich boyfriend who has been willing to drop absurd amounts of time and money on him since they met. He’s mad at the fact that life is not as kind to him.  “I’m just saying that of course you love Christmas, you’re not spending it alone.”

It’s a low blow, but it makes Jeonghan drop his shoulders with a pout which Joshua counts as a win. “I always tell you you can come with us, we wouldn’t mind.”

“No, it’s fine,” Joshua sighs, propping his chin in his hand. “It’s your vacation, not mine. Maybe I’ll try planning something this year.”

Jeonghan presses his lips together. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

❅

Joshua knows it’s going to be a weird day when he accidentally puts his shoes on backwards. He fixes them quickly with a curse on the tip of his tongue before rushing out, already running late as it is. The late November air pinches at his skin as he wraps his thick scarf around his neck to shield himself from the frigid breezes that join him as he gets into his car. When he turns it on, trot music blasts from the speakers, startling him until he’s fumbling to turn the volume down and connect his phone instead, playing the Christmas playlist he’s been secretly listening to for a couple of weeks. The songs are catchy, sue him.

He makes it to the mall right as someone else is unlocking the employee entrance, thanking them with a kind smile and rushing to go and open the store since his coworker won’t be arriving for another hour. Once everything is squared away, he goes to the bathroom to freshen up only to stop in his tracks when he sees a sign hanging on the handle.

CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS. PLEASE DO NOT USE.

Joshua lets out a frustrated sigh—he probably looks fine anyway.

The day drags with more odd things that make him wonder if maybe he’s being pranked. A man comes in, goes to ask Joshua a question only to stop and shake his head before turning on his heel and leaving. A child walks in by themselves, sitting on the floor only to be snatched by a frantic looking mother. (Well, Joshua hopes that she’s their mother.) A group of people come in and buy over ten items, not even flinching at the total as Joshua rings them up and thanking him with nods before hurrying out the store.

Jeonghan comes into the store shortly after that last event and Joshua is grateful to see something— someone— normal for once.

“You look… interesting,” Jeonghan says, leaning against the front counter and crossing his legs clad in black slacks. His black, wool sweater is half tucked into his pants and there’s not a black hair out of place on his head and Joshua sort of wants to strangle him.

“It’s been a weird day,” Joshua tells him. “When have I ever listened to trot?”

Jeonghan scrunches his nose distastefully. “Never, I hope. Unless you’re going through something I don’t know about.”

“Not yet,” Joshua says and lets out a heavy breath. “Wait—are you on break already?”

“No, it’s dead,” Jeonghan tells him. “Santa’s here, didn’t you hear?”

“Oh, joy,” Joshua says through a laugh. Maybe that explains the weirdness of the day. “Are you planning to see him?”

“Why, when I can ask Seungcheol for something and I’ll get it with next day shipping?”

Joshua blinks. “You have no clue how bad I wanna punch your pretty teeth out.”

“At least you think they’re pretty.”

Jeonghan cackles as Joshua goes to swat him and he dodges, blowing Joshua a kiss as he saunters annoyingly out of the store leaving Joshua alone with another version of White Christmas playing too loudly on the store speakers.

Another hour drags and finally it’s time for Joshua to go and eat his lunch outside with Jeonghan. First, he rushes to the closest bathrooms and hurries before Jeonghan scolds him for being late. He’s peacefully washing his hands when the door swings open almost violently, startling him into splashing water on the front of his nice sweater.

When he snaps his head up to look at the culprit, he finds an elf in green tights stumbling in bashfully. Well, a human dressed as an elf. A handsome human elf. A handsome human elf that looks like he is employed at the Santa Workshop that opened up this morning.

The elf freezes when he realizes he is not alone, brown eyes widening when he finally sees Joshua staring at him. It’s only then that Joshua notices the wet stain on the elf’s crotch, mouth twitching around nothing until he quickly looks away, feigning obliviousness.

The elf looks down and then up. “It’s not—I didn’t—this isn’t pee. It’s not—-I didn’t pee myself.”

“That’s good,” Joshua says quickly, scrubbing the suds off his hands and grabbing several paper towels in a rush so that he can get out of this situation as soon as possible.

“Some kid spilled his juice on me,” the elf keeps explaining. “I swear! Here, you can smell it—”

“I believe you,” Joshua tells him with a tight smile. He goes to leave before sighing, turning back to rip a few more paper towels, offering them to the poor guy out of sympathy. “Here,” he says, pushing them into the elf’s hand. “Hopefully this solves your… issue.”

The elf looks very grateful, long fingers accepting the offer. He smiles at Joshua and, hey. It’s a nice smile. “Thanks.”

Joshua smiles back and nods. “I hope you have a better day.” He squeezes past the elf, grabbing onto the door handle before pausing. “Oh, and tell Santa I said hi and to make my day less weird, yeah?”

The elf blinks before nodding clumsily, giving Joshua a thumbs up. “Oh! Y-yeah, I’ll tell Soonyoung— Santa. I’ll tell Santa.”

Joshua looks him up and down, notes the toned muscles of his thighs and calves and knows that his ass probably looks just as nice. He winks. “Thanks.”

❅

“You’re late.”

“I was helping an elf in crisis.”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at Joshua, pointing his fork at him. “You’re lying.”

“I wish I was,” Joshua says with a small laugh, the poor elf’s expression engraved in his head. “He peed himself.”

Jeonghan chokes on his food. “No.”

“Yeah, no. It was apple juice. At least, I trust that it was apple juice.”

“Poor guy,” Jeonghan hums after he catches his breath. “I heard that it’s a shit show this year—Santa’s Workshop or whatever. They have some young guy dressed up as Santa because the old guy quit last minute.”

“That makes sense,” Joshua says. “The elf looked stressed.”

“Was he hot?”

“Aye,” Joshua scolds. Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. Joshua sighs. “Yeah, he was hot as fuck.”

“Make your list,” Jeonghan teases, kicking Joshua beneath the table. “Check it twice, find out if you’re naughty or nice but make sure you’re naughty—”

“Alright,” Joshua says over him. “That’s enough out of you.”

❅

Jeonghan stops by Joshua’s apartment the night he and Seungcheol are due to leave for their Europe trip for a month to say goodbye and give him his Christmas present that he confesses are socks that don’t match because he thought it would be funny.

If Joshua is being one hundred percent honest, the bitterness has faded, instead he’s happy that Jeonghan will be bothering someone else for an entire month. Then, he’s reminded that Seungcheol is almost never bothered by Jeonghan and that they’ll be in fucking Europe while Joshua thinks about WWE slamming customers into the glass shelves.

“Don’t be a scrooge,” Jeonghan tells him, shoving his bony finger into Joshua’s chest.

“Don’t be a whore,” Joshua tells him, pinching his arm and earning a laugh instead of a pained sound.

“Ah, Shua,” Jeonghan chuckles, slapping him on the arm. “You know I can’t do that with Cheollie.”

Joshua tries not to think about that mental image and closes the door on Jeonghan’s face just to humble him a little bit.

With that, Joshua is forced to adopt a new, temporary routine that consists of him eating lunch by himself during his break. The first few days are easy and peaceful—it’s sort of nice to not have someone kicking him beneath the table every time he zones out. The fourth day the quietness starts to become grating and by the fifth day he swears his shin misses the pain.

On the sixth day, he sits and opens his salad, taunted by the shoppers flooding the mall with their rushed Christmas shopping as well as the blaring Christmas music that seems to get louder every single day. The outdoor seating area is more crowded than usual, people taking up the tables around him with loud conversations and subtle arguments lost on Joshua as he scrolls through his phone to drown out the noise.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

Joshua looks up, ready to make up some excuse about a friend joining him soon, but the words die out on his tongue when he realizes he recognizes this person. It’s—

“Elf Boy,” he says out loud pointing at the guy who is holding food in one hand and his elf hat in the other. “I remember you.”

Elf Boy blushes with a small laugh, eyes crinkled in a way that makes Joshua smile. “Ah, yeah. Sort of hard to forget that. Sorry about… all of that. ”

“No need to be sorry,” Joshua says genuinely. When he sees that the poor guy is still standing, he gestures at the chair across from him. “You can sit, I’m not waiting for anyone or anything.”

Elf Boy sits, the legs of the chair scraping loudly against the floor. “That’s a surprise.”

Joshua raises an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“That you’re not waiting for anyone.”

“Is it?”

Elf Boy blinks before shaking his head almost comically. “It’s—not like that—not in a mean way or anything, you just seem like you wouldn’t eat by yourself. Not that there’s anything wrong with eating by yourself, I think it’s cool! But, I just mean that you’re too pretty to be alone and I would assume that you have someone to eat with and—and.” Elf Boy clamps his mouth shut. “Never mind. I’m sorry.”

Joshua’s lips spread into a smile as he tilts his head to the side. “What’s your name?”

“Name?” Elf Boy repeats dumbly and cutely.

“I need to call you something in my head that’s not Elf Boy,” Joshua explains, earning another blush.

“Seokmin. Lee Seokmin,” Elf Boy—Seokmin—tells him. “What’s your name?”\

“What do you call me in your head?” Joshua pushes for fun. He already knows that Seokmin thinks that he’s pretty, which is doing things to his head that he’s not too proud of but whatever. He might as well take advantage of whatever this is.

Seokmin is quiet for a moment, hands on the table, fingers curling and uncurling until he says, quiet, “Um. Bathroom Guy.”

Joshua blinks once and then twice. “Bathroom Guy? Bathroom Guy?”

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, looking at everything else except for Joshua.

“Well,” Joshua laughs, leaning back in his chair. That’s what he gets for wanting to be called pretty again. Just his luck, really. “That’s better than nothing I guess.”

Seokmin finally looks at him, the silence tethered between them. “Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?”

“Do you want to know my name?”

“Well, I can’t keep calling you Bathroom Guy around my friends.”

Joshua straightens up, a satisfied trill like a bell running up his spine. “Joshua. Joshua Hong.”

“Nice to meet you, Joshua,” Seokmin says, reaching across the table with his hand.

Joshua slots his palm against Seokmin’s warm one, the corner of his mouth tilted up into a smile as he looks Seokmin up and down. “The pleasure is mine, Seokmin.”

❅

The next day brings one of Joshua’s days off. He wakes up early, goes on a jog and contemplates getting a Christmas tree but shoves that thought to the back of his mind quickly. Christmas lover or not, does he really need a Christmas tree? It’s not like there’s going to be any presents to place under it anyway. The rest of the day is filled with mundane errands—grocery shopping, getting his hair trimmed, buying a filter for his water, going home and cooking himself dinner, lighting his dining room candles and setting his plate neatly for some me time by the time the sun is setting.

He gets a Facetime call right as he sits down and Jeonghan’s contact picture fills the screen. Joshua hesitates before declining the call, pausing with a small smile before going back to his food. The smile drops instantly when his phone begins vibrating again. When he answers he can’t help but roll his eyes so far back into his skull that it sort of hurts.

“Can you see it?” Jeonghan asks, camera flipped showing the view out of the hotel window that has a great view of the fucking Eiffel Tower. He can hear it mocking him.

“I’m gonna hang up—”

“Hey! No,” Jeonghan says quickly, flipping the camera back around so that his face is taking up a majority of the screen in an unflattering angle. “I was gonna ask if you wanted a key chain or something!”

“A keychain,” Joshua deadpans. “Wow. How sweet and thoughtful.”

Before Jeonghan can reply, the camera is tilting up into a better angle and someone appears in the frame—thick eyebrows, dark eyes, full lips. His chin hooks over Jeonghan’s shoulder as he smiles a dimpled smile and waves. “Hi, Joshua!”

“Hey Seungcheol,” Joshua waves back. Seungcheol is nice and considers Joshua a friend which Joshua appreciates very much—Jeonghan’s boyfriends of the past weren’t this nice or great. But Seungcheol is nice and influenced to be a little shit by Jeonghan when they all hang out, but Jeonghan swears that he doesn’t need much influencing. He fits in their little circle perfectly. “How’s the luxury vacation?”

“Can’t complain,” Seungcheol smiles. “I told Jeonghan to call you to see if you wanted something. Money isn’t an issue, by the way. You can ask for anything!.”

Joshua tries not to roll his eyes because, alright. No need to brag. “A keychain is fine, thanks.”

“See!” Jeonghan says. “I told you!”

Joshua hangs up, not wanting to know where else this conversation can go, and turns on the TV so he doesn’t have to eat his dinner in silence. Even then, it feels lonely.

❅

Joshua is back at work two days later, trying not to let his patient smile waver as this male customer with a very nice and very expensive looking watch starts to complain about the price of their leather handbags. Joshua can feel his eye start twitching.

By the time lunch rolls around his head is pounding and he forgets about his neatly packed lunch to get himself some fried chicken as a self treat because he deserves it goddamn it. If anyone gives him a dirty look, his patience is already running thin and he knows that he won’t be able to keep his mouth shut. He walks to his typical table in the outdoor seating area, an unwarranted rage on the tip of his tongue that is only amplified when—oh.

The rage settles as Joshua notices Seokmin already sitting at the table, scrolling on his phone with his elf hat perched on his head. Joshua hesitates before deciding fuck it, it’s not weird and sitting down in the available seat across from Seokmin.

Seokmin’s head snaps up, eyes wide until he realizes who it is, his face softening. “Oh! You’re back.”

Joshua looks at him, raising an eyebrow. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Well,” Seokmin starts, putting his phone down. “I just thought that maybe you found somewhere else to sit because I ruined your spot or something.”

“Oh, no, you’re okay,” Joshua says quickly, a little heartbroken that Seokmin would even think that. “ I only work five days a week.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Do… Do you work the whole week?”

Seokmin shakes his head, taking a sip of the smoothie that is half empty beside his hand. “Almost, but only for a few hours on some days. Unless an elf calls out and they need me to come in early or stay late.”

“That’s sort of sad.”

Seokmin shrugs, the green and red cloth of his elf costume—uniform?—scrunching as he does so. It makes it a little more sad. “I don’t mind it, honestly. Between this and my other job I have a lot of fun.”

“Where else do you work?” Joshua asks, unable to help himself from prying more information out of Seokmin. He’s an interesting person. That and, yeah, maybe Joshua thinks he’s hot. That’s not the point, though.

Seokmin glances up at him for a moment, the straw pressed to his bottom lip. “Tree farm,” he mumbles, taking a big sip.

Joshua waits for him to clarify only to be met with loud slurping noises as the end of the smoothie nears. “Like… for Christmas trees?”

“It’s seasonal,” Seokmin explains with another shrug, like he doesn’t really want to keep talking about this. “Both jobs, I mean.”

“Huh,” Joshua says, trying to find a way to shift the conversation off of Seokmin. “I almost bought a tree the other day, actually.”

“Oh,” Seokmin says, lighting up, eyes shining like there’s Christmas lights hanging behind them. “I can get you a discount if you buy one from the place I work at.”

“No need to do that,” Joshua tells him. A tree is not on the list of his priorities. “I think I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer.”

“Why? Don’t you need one?”

“Well, I don’t need one—”

“Christmas is fifteen days away,” Seokmin points out.

Joshua shrugs. “Yeah, I know.”

Seokmin pauses. He narrows his eyes. “Don’t tell me…”

“Seokmin—”

“You don’t like Christmas?”

Joshua sighs, not wanting to have this conversation for the nth time in his life. “I don’t care for it, no”

Seokmin presses his lips together. “Can I still convince you to get a tree?”

Joshua can’t help the laugh that leaves his chest. “Wait, what? You’re not gonna try convincing me that it’s the best holiday ever or—or that I should try liking it?”

“Hey everyone has their reasons,” Seokmin says with a shrug. “But I still can try getting you a tree for free even if you don’t like Christmas. Free is free.”

Joshua considers, but still can’t find a reason to say yes. “I’m okay, really.”

“Really?” Seokmin chuckles. “You hate Christmas that much?”

Joshua could get into it if he wanted to, but he doesn’t want to. He settles for, “It’s just not for me.”

Luckily, Seokmin just nods. “Alright. The offer still stands.”

❅

“Come on, there’s a scratch on it—how about forty percent off?”

Joshua blinks slowly, looking down at the spot that this man insists is a scratch. Joshua presses his lips together to keep himself from screaming and takes a deep breath. “That is not a scratch, sir, but a detail. As you can see by the identical marks throughout the leather.”

How else can he calmly and nicely explain that one doesn’t negotiate Chanel prices?

“Forget it,” the man grumbles, shoving the bag into Joshua’s delicate hands. “I’ll go somewhere else.”

Joshua waits for the man to leave before he pretends to chuck the bag across the room and then tear it apart. He calms himself with a deep breath, pretending like nothing happened even though he can hear his coworker laughing from the front of the store. The next hour passes by slowly as Joshua busies himself behind the register organizing the fancy pens they keep in one of the drawers.

A flash of green at the entrance pulls his attention away from his silly task and toward the silly elf walking toward Joshua in his green tights, green and red uniform— costume?— and his elf hat perched on his head. He’s holding a drink that he puts on the counter in front of Joshua. Joshua straightens up, looking up at Seokmin with wide eyes and parted lips.

“Huh? What’s this?”

“Hot chocolate,” Seokmin says nonchalantly, leaning with his elbows on the wood of the counter. “For you.”

Joshua’s eyes dance between the drink and its festive sleeve and Seokmin. “Why?”

“I walked past earlier and you were staring at a customer very scarily.” He shrugs again. “Thought maybe you were having a rough day.”

Joshua is almost rendered speechless, brain foggy as he takes in Seokmin’s words. “That’s—yeah, actually. I was.”

“So,” Seokmin pushes it closer, smiling, “for you.”

“Thanks, Joshua says quietly, taking a sip. “You didn’t have to—”

“I know,” Seokmin says simply, taking a step back. “But I wanted to. I gotta go—elf duties, and all that.”

Something flutters in Joshua’s chest like a snowflake in a blizzard as Seokmin gives him a silly salute before turning on his heel and disappearing into the mall traffic.

❅

A gentle thud makes Joshua jump, almost dropping his phone into his ramyun. When he looks up he finds Seokmin beaming. When he looks down he finds a little box with a velvet red bow on the table.

“What is that?”

“Look inside,” Seokmin says, finally sitting.

“Is it for me?” Joshua asks just in case. It wouldn’t be the first time he mistook an offering as a gift for himself.

“Well, it’s for us, actually.”

Joshua hesitates before finally opening it. Two gingerbread man cookies and two Christmas tree cookies stare back at him, decorated in green and red icing. “Oh…?”

“They’re from the best bakery in the city,” Seokmin says rather proudly. “I know the owner so I got them for free.”

“You love free things, don’t you?” Joshua says with a small laugh. “And… you’re sharing?”

Seokmin nods eagerly. “Take two.”

“Listen—”

“Come on,” Seokmin urges, reaching across the table to hold Joshua’s wrist, pulling him toward a cookie. “Try one.”

Joshua gives in, grabbing a gingerbread man and taking a hefty bite out of his shoulder. Bursts of cinnamon and sugar and warmth coat his tongue and he can’t help but make a noise in the back of his throat. He can’t remember the last time he ate one of these—maybe when he was a kid. Maybe even more recent, he doesn’t know, but he finds himself basking in the taste of nostalgia.

“Well?” Seokmin asks, leaning forward. “Good?”

“It’s really good,” Joshua smiles. “Thanks, Seokmin.”

Seokmin beams, taking a bite of his own cookie. “Anytime.”

❅

It doesn’t take long for Joshua to get used to his days filled with Seokmin and the random things he offers. Hot chocolate, Christmas cookies, a DVD of his favorite Christmas film, eggnog from an American market that he found after finding out Joshua was born in the states. That last one stays in Joshua’s head all through the day and all through the night until he wakes up with the interesting realization that maybe, possibly, he has a fat crush on Seokmin.

It could be worse, really. He’s had a crush on some guy working at a corndog stand before which is… Jeonghan calls it “the dark ages” and Joshua can’t help but agree with that. Unlike Corndog Guy, Seokmin is interesting, kind and caring, funny in ways that have Joshua clutching his stomach with laughter. He’s known him for a few weeks and already, Joshua thinks that there’s a Seokmin shaped slot in his life that has belonged there the whole time.

Maybe that’s why it’s a punch in the gut when Seokmin doesn’t show up to their daily lunch.

One minute turns to two, two turns to four, four someone turns into Joshua’s break being over and forcing him to back up his uneaten lunch. He tries not to think about it but can’t help but admit his bitter mood might have something to do with the lack of his daily dose of Seokmin, Seokmin, and Seokmin. What makes it worse is the realization that he doesn’t even have Seokmin’s number to make sure he’s, at the very least, alive.

It’s a moment of desperation that he’s not proud of, but he gives his coworker a half assed excuse and leaves the store and toward the festively decorated side of the mall. Santa’s Workshop isn’t as magical as they make it seem in the ads—it’s not even much of a workshop, really. Instead, it’s a long line of crying parents and aggravated children waiting for their turn to talk to Santa and maybe even take a picture if they have the time. Joshua cranes his neck in hopes of spotting Seokmin beneath an elf hat, but can’t make out anyone that looks familiar. When he tries to go around to get a better look, he’s scolded by a grumpy elf that tells him to get in line even when he tries to explain himself.

Joshua curses under his breath and gets in line. Not his proudest moment, really.

Surprisingly, the line moves somewhat fast and before Joshua knows it, he’s next and looking around for any sign of Seokmin.

“Hello there young man!” Santa calls cheerfully. Joshua almost ignores it but has to do a double take because Santa’s beard is sagging off his chin and also he can’t be older than twenty seven. “Well, what are you waiting for? Come and tell Santa what you would like for Christmas!” Santa pats his hands on his lap twice and Joshua’s eyes widen, mortified.

“Ah, that’s okay—”

“Nonsense! No one is too old for ol’ Santa!” When Joshua doesn’t move, Santa hisses, “Come here.”

Joshua squeezes his eyes shut and steps forward, plopping himself on Santa’s skinny legs. “I hate this."

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa chortles, jostling Joshua. “What would you like for Christmas?”

“To not be on your lap.”

Santa chuckles, leaning forward to whisper, “Come on, don’t ruin the magic.”

Joshua doesn’t entertain him anymore. “Where’s Seokmin?”

Santa looks at Joshua, eyebrows furrowed. “How do you know my elf?”

“We eat lunch together,” Joshua tells him. “Where is he today? I didn’t see him.”

“Why, back at the North Pole, of course!” Santa booms. He comes back quieter, only for Joshua to hear. “He’s at home resting. He’s been a little burnt out lately and I made him call out after he passed out while we were at some ramyun place last night.”

“Oh,” Joshua says, shoulders deflating. That’s a good excuse, one that makes him worry a little less while also making him worry more.

“I can pass a message along,” Santa says and Joshua shakes his head. Seokmin doesn’t need to be bothered by Joshua’s stupid crush.

“It’s alright—”

“Hold on,” Santa says quickly, grabbing a wish list paper from beside him and a pen, writing down a phone number. He pushes it into Joshua’s hand. “That’s his number. Use it for good. Or evil, if you wanna tease him a little—”

“Alright, I’m done,” Joshua hums, getting off Santa’s lap. He stares at the phone number all the way back to his store, ignoring his coworker’s questions on his whereabouts.. He saves the number in his phone and promises to send a text later tonight if he remembers.

❅

As much as Joshua tries to push it to the back of his head, he ends up calling Seokmin when he gets home.

Seokmin answers after the third ring. He sounds fine, tired, but fine at the very least. “Hello?”

“Hey,” Joshua says. “It’s Joshua. From the mall.”

“Oh, oh! Hi,” Seokmin says. “Not to be rude, I don’t mind the call, honestly, but, ah… How did you get my number?”

“Santa,” Joshua explains. “He told me you were burnt out.”

“Santa…? Oh, Soonyoung. Ah, I’m okay, really! Just a little tired.”

Joshua hums, holding his phone between his shoulder and cheek as he pours himself some cereal as a late dinner. “More than a little.”

“Yeah, maybe more than a little,” Seokmin says with a small laugh that tickles Joshua’s ear. “But I’m okay, really. I’m just at home now, bored out of my mind.”

Joshua’s teeth worry at his lip, hesitating for a moment before he thinks fuck it. “Do you want company?”

There’s a beat of silence before Seokmin speaks. “Company?”

“I have two gingerbread houses that need to be built.” That’s a lie, but he can go pick something up real quick if he needs to.

“You,” Seokmin starts, a smile evident in his tone, “have two gingerbread houses?”

“Yes,” Joshua says back with a smile of his own.

“Well,” Seokmin sighs loudly. “How can I say no to that?”

❅

Joshua buys the gingerbread houses and is at Seokmin’s apartment door within the hour. The nerves start rising in his chest as he listens to the door unlock with a click before it swings open, revealing Seokmin on the other side. He’s dressed comfortably in a grey sweatshirt and some denim shorts that reach just above his knee. His hair is flat and soft against his head, shining in the Christmas lights strung up along the walls of his apartment. His eyes crinkle as he smiles when their eyes meet and all the nerves leave Joshua when he’s reminded that it’s Seokmin, the warmest person on this earth.

“You made it!”

“I said I was coming over,” Joshua chuckles as Seokmin ushers him in, offering him a pair of slippers that he quickly replaces his dirty Nikes with.

Joshua takes the chance to look around the apartment, finding that it’s just as cozy as Seokmin is. It’s decorated neatly for Christmas with lights and lit candles on his coffee table that smell like pine and vanilla. His Christmas tree is real and sort of lopsided with white, gold, and green ornaments decorating the lit branches. There’s a Christmas film playing on the TV—the same one from the DVD that he let Joshua borrow only a week ago.

“I cleaned for you,” Seokmin says proudly as he takes the gingerbread house kits from Joshua and places them on his coffee table, blowing out the candle as he does so.

“I’m honored,” Joshua says, awkwardly hovering by the entryway still.

“We can make these right here,” Seokmin says, gesturing toward the coffee table. “So… Whenever you’re ready, hyung.”

There’s an awkward beat of silence before Joshua actually kicks into gear. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m being so…”

“Weird?”

“Hey,” Joshua pouts, carefully sitting on the floor in the space beside Seokmin. “I was gonna say awkward.”

“It’s okay.” Seokmin pats his thigh with a sweet smile, sending the skin beneath Joshua’s pants into a patch of flames. “It is a little weird seeing you outside of the mall.”

“It’s weird seeing you out of tights.”

“Hey,” Seokmin pouts this time. “Soonyoung says the tights make my legs look nice.”

Joshua hides his blush by turning his face and tearing one of the kits open. “I haven’t noticed.”

“You can look,” Seokmin teases, earning a slap on the shoulder that he laughs at. “What?! Everyone tells me my legs are nice!”

“Everyone except for me.”

“But what if I want you to?”

Joshua blinks, hands fumbling against the ripped cardboard. “It’s—you— do you?”

Seokmin’s eyes flicker across Joshua’s face, their knees touching. He starts to open his own gingerbread house kit. “Maybe.” Before Joshua can think of stammering through a sentence, Seokmin speaks again. “I bet you I can make my house look better.”

Joshua tongues his cheek, raising his eyebrows playfully. “We’ll see about that.”

They work on their houses in comfortable silence only broken up by conversations that seem to go everywhere and nowhere. Seokmin finds out that Joshua lives by himself, has a friend that is currently sending him postcards from Europe, has worked at the mall for almost three years, and that he likes to do crafts in his free time.

In turn, Joshua pulls little bits of information out of Seokmin. He does professional theater normally, but will take the winter season off to do odd jobs and save some money. It also gives him a break from the hectic theater life that burns him out more than any of this does.

It all leads Joshua to one question: “Why an elf?”

The corner of his mouth tilts into an amused smile. “Soonyoung dragged me into it.”

The name is familiar. “Soonyoung…?”

“He’s blond, looks like he could be ten but also thirty—”

“What? Wait, Santa?”

“Yeah, that’s… that’s a long story,” Seokmin chuckles, adding another gumdrop to his roof. “He’s actually really good at it though. All the kids love him.”

“He’s in his element, that’s for sure,” Joshua agrees, remembering how he did his best to keep the illusion of magic up for the children.

“You should meet the rest of my friends,” Seokmin says suddenly, not looking at Joshua, instead focusing on straightening a peppermint on the door. “You’d like them. And they’d like you—”

“That would be nice,” Joshua agrees, trying to ease the giddiness starting to rise up his chest because, well. Seokmin thinks that he should be around his friends. That has to be a good sign, right? “When?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe you could come over for Christmas?”

Joshua can’t think of a reason to say no, so he says, “Yeah—yeah. That sounds fun.”

“Oh—oh nice!” Seokmin beams. “I didn’t think you’d want to.”

“What, why?”

“You know,” Seokmin says with a shrug. “Christmas and all that. I know you’re not too crazy about it, which is fine! But I didn’t know if you’d want to be surrounded by celebration or anything.”

Joshua pauses, his neat gingerbread house staring back at him decorated with such care and precision that he’s actually proud of. For once, the thought of Christmas doesn’t want to make him roll his eyes. “Hey, Seokmin?”

Seokmin looks over at him with his shining eyes. “Yeah, hyung?”

“Does that Christmas tree offer still stand?”

❅

It’s Seokmin’s day off and Joshua watches the seconds pass by slowly until he’s finally able to gather his things and leave. The sun is already starting to set beneath the heavy and grey clouds as he hurries into his car and pulls up the directions to the tree farm that Seokmin had texted him the night before. It’s a thirty minute drive—farther than anywhere else Joshua has been and when he gets there, it’s a pretty sight. The lights are turned on as it gets darker, bright against the secluded surroundings. There’s a cute little cabin where people are checking out and purchasing their trees as well as different selections of tree lights, ornaments, and tinsel.

Joshua steps inside and is warmed by the heater, immediately spotting Seokmin standing by the counter and talking to a guy with short and blond hair. The guy sees Joshua first, tilting his chin up not so subtly toward Joshua. Seokmin turns around quickly, elbow slipping against the counter as he tries to steady himself.

“Joshua hyung!” Seokmin stammers as he straightens up. “Uh, hi—you made it!”

It takes Joshua a full ten seconds to say anything, too distracted by the way the sleeves of Seokmin’s sweater are pushed up, exposing his very toned forearms. He didn’t think that forearms could be this attractive. “Yeah—”

He’s cut off by the blond guy who snaps his fingers and points directly at him. “Oh! You’re Bathroom Guy!”

Joshua gives him a tight smile. “Ah,” he sighs with a humorless laugh. “How nice it is to be perceived.”

Seokmin is grabbing his elbow and pulling him toward the other side of the cabin where there’s a sliding glass door. “Ignore him, we think he huffs paint in his free time. Here, I can show you around and we can find you the perfect tree.”

“Any tree is the perfect tree as long as it’s free,” Joshua says, delving in the heat of Seokmin’s hand on him.

“Well there’s different kinds of trees,” Seokmin explains

“Why don’t you suggest one?” Joshua asks. “I trust your judgement.”

Seokmin glares at him. “That defeats the purpose of looking for one. I thought you wanted to spend time together, hyung?”

And, well. Joshua can’t argue with that.

He lets Seokmin pull him around, between aisles of trees that all seem to look the same. It’s easy to listen to him as he rattles off facts about each one, which ones smell the best and which ones last the longest. It all goes in one

ear and out the other but Seokmin looks ridiculously handsome beneath the lights hanging above them and Joshua wants to do something like forgo the free tree and just kiss him.

“I like this one,” Seokmin says eventually, stopping at a tree that looks like its out of a Hallmark movie. “It suits you.”

“Oh?” Joshua tries, ready to fall on his ass. “Why’s that?”

Seokmin doesn’t look at him, focusing on the tag with written information on it. “Because it’s pretty.”

Joshua tilts his head to the side, happily taking this. “Are you flirting with me, Seokmin?”

Seokmin’s cheeks are pink as he twiddles with the leaves on the spruce tree. He shrugs. “It depends.”

Joshua’s mouth goes dry. He has to be dreaming. “On… on what?”

Seokmin lets out a breath, straightening his shoulders and looking at Joshua with something close to determination. It makes him look cute and Joshua wants to scream. “If… if you want me to be.”

Somehow, nothing in Joshua’s head screams at him to run away. That’s the funny thing about Seokmin—Joshua feels like things are easier with him, like he can drink hot chocolate, eat gingerbread cookies, drink eggnog and feel the joy that is supposed to come with the holidays but instead is intertwined with every look Seokmin gives him, every laugh that rings from his chest like a carol when he’s pulled into Seokmin’s orbit.  “And if I do?”

Seokmin’s eyes widen like he can’t believe it. “Wait— really?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” Joshua asks, ready to take everything back. If Seokmin isn’t serious, then he might as well save himself from potential heartbreak.

“Considering you’re you and I’m me, yeah. Sort of.”

“Yeah, you’re you,” Joshua tells him. “And I like you.”

“Hyung—”

“Seokmin,” Joshua all but snaps, a little irritated that Seokmin won’t take the fucking hint. “Kiss me and I’ll buy the tree.”

“But… But it’s free?” Joshua stares at him for a moment before rolling his eyes, going to turn on his heel with another reason to shove Christmas to the end of his list of favorite holidays. Then, Seokmin’s voice is calling, “Wait! No—”

Joshua is stopped by Seokmin’s hands on his shoulders, spinning him around and moving his hands to frame Joshua’s face, pulling him into a kiss that warms Joshua until he feels like a tinderbox meeting a flame. He’s pliant under Seokmin’s gentle yet firm hold, hands holding onto Seokmin’s wrists to keep him there, keep him close.

Seokmin pulls away, their mouths parting with a sound that makes the tips of Joshua’s ears burn. His eyes flicker between Joshua’s, mouth a rosy pink as he speaks. “I like you too,” Seokmin whispers. “That’s what I should’ve said.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Joshua smiles. “Why didn’t you?”

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” Seokmin says, words coming out a bit dazed. “I met you while I was wearing tights. You were wearing Chanel earrings—this definitely feels like a dream.”

Joshua laughs, tucking his face into the crook of Seokmin’s warm neck because he can. “Do you want me to pinch you?”

“I want you to kiss me again.”

That, Joshua can do. 

❅

Joshua’s Christmas tree stares back at him as Seokmin kisses his neck. It feels wrong to have his hands up Seokmin’s shirt like this, especially with this pretty tree staring back at him like it's their child.

“We should go to the room,” Joshua says, freeing his hand and pushing Seokmin’s shoulder when he whines.

“Why?” Seokmin pouts. “You didn’t have a problem doing it on the sofa last time.”

“Yeah but that stupid Santa Claus ornament that Soonyoung gave me earlier is staring at me,” Joshua explains. He met Seokmin’s friends only three hours ago and he promised to not break his heart, which he intends on keeping but it feels wrong defiling him in front of the gifts they made him take home.

“Aw, you like it,” Seokmin grins into Joshua’s neck.

“It’s cute,” Joshua admits. “And it’s staring at me.”

Seokmin looks over his shoulder and makes an agreeing noise. “Yeah, it’s sort of creepy.”

Before Joshua can usher Seokmin into his room and turn him into a trembling mess, his phone starts vibrating beneath him. He’s about to roll his eyes until he sees that it’s Jeonghan and realizes that he never wished him a happy holiday. “Be quiet,” Joshua says, getting up as Seokmin tries to kiss him again.

“You’re so sexy when you’re mean to me—”

“Shh!” Joshua hushes, answering the call with a smile. “Hey, Jeonghan. Merry Christmas!”

Jeonghan glares at him through the screen, a frown replaying his neutral expression. “What happened to you?”

Joshua blinks. “What? What do you mean?”

“You never wish me a Merry Christmas—are you sick? Did something happen? Why are you so happy? I called expecting you to cuss me out not be… jolly.”

“What? I can’t wish you a Merry Christmas for once?”

“No. Flip the camera.”

Joshua freezes. Seokmin is looking over the back of the sofa with wide eyes. “No.”

“Joshua. Flip the camera.”

“I don’t need to—”

“Flip the camera or I’m flying home—”

Joshua hangs up in panic. He turns off his phone just in case, but that doesn’t eliminate the possibility of Jeonghan showing up at his door tomorrow morning. That’s a problem for later, though.

“Was that your friend?”

“Unfortunately,” Joshua sighs, leaning into Seokmin’s embrace when he reaches Joshua. “You’ll meet him soon. Like, really soon.”

Seokmin says nothing, rubbing his hands up and down Joshua’s arms. “Do you really not say Merry Christmas?”

“No, I did today.”

Seokmin smiles, holding Joshua’s face in his hands and brushing their noses together. “Hyung. Do you like Christmas?”

“‘Like’ is a strong word, Seokmin-ah,” Joshua says, unable to help the smile starting to twitch onto his lips. “Maybe… I’m warming up to the idea, alright?”

“Was it the hot chocolate or the gingerbread cookies? Or the eggnog?”

Joshua pauses, leaning back to properly look at Seokmin. “What?”

“You know,” Seokmin pushes. “Which part of my masterplan made you think twice about hating Christmas?”

Joshua laughs out loud because, well. He can’t say that it didn’t work. “And here I thought you were trying to woo me.”

“I was doing both!” Seokmin defends. “So… Did it work?”

Joshua’s eyes dance across Seokmin’s soft features, the way he’s looking at Joshua like he’s something delicate to behold, like there’s no where else he’d rather be than ten feet away from a creepy Santa Claus ornament and possibly anticipating Joshua’s best friend breaking in at any point in the next twenty hours.

He tilts his chin up, not having to wait before Seokmin meets him in a tender kiss.

For once, the season doesn’t taste so bitter.