Chapter Text
It had been almost a month since the last near-world-ending catastrophe for the Wachowski family. Sonic’s personality had shifted, and everyone could tell. Sure he made the same jokes, was still his chaotic, brash, and bold-headed hedgehog self he’d been months previous, he’d become more emotionally withdrawn. So even while he joked the same, acted the same, and laughed the same, he’d withdrawn into himself more than he ever had before. The Blue Blur had had almost a month to heal, but it wasn’t enough. Whenever anyone tried to mention Shadow, Sonic would stiffen and close off and get snappy at anyone who tried to push the topic. He was mourning. But not very well. Tom could tell that much at least.
The fall season was nearing its end but the air still had a bite to it as Sonic sat on a log in the forest. He didn’t like to think. Thinking conjured up images he didn’t like to think about. He’d tried. God he’d tried to move past Shadow. He’d barely known the guy for a week, but the loss he felt for the other hedgehog was almost akin to the painful ache Longclaw’s absence left in his chest.
Perhaps it was just the knowledge that Shadow would never have the chance to build what Sonic had ever again. A loving family. No chance to move past, or at least as past as you could. It helped when he was talking and laughing, momentarily forgetting the pain. But when he was alone it felt like a loud speaker playing a loop of regret loud enough to shatter his skull. What could he have had with Shadow? Friendship? Something- more? He didn’t know what more meant, or if that was even how he truly felt about the dark-quilled totally just a copy-cat hedgehog. He would never know. And perhaps that was what hurt the most. Not that he wouldn’t have whatever the ache in his chest meant he’d wanted, but the reality of not knowing if it would have even been possible. For either of them.
When the pain got too loud, Sonic would replay their last fight together over and over again in his head. It was a routine that soothed him, if even only for a moment. It had felt like a dance, a dance he had not wanted to end. Their teamwork had fallen into place almost instantly. Flying around each other, watching each others’ backs, grinning stupidly—they’d totally both been doing that—towards one another.
Sonic felt the water works attempting to flow. He stood, shaking them away as he did then wiping at their remnants. Shadow’s loss felt so acute. He felt it at his finger tips, a zap of dying electricity that quickly spread to his quills, taking root in his sneakers. It made no sense. How could the loss of someone he’d barely known be so painful?
Suddenly the pain and confusion became anger and he rounded on a tree, punching it so hard the dead leaves fell in heaps from the old oak’s branches. He knew, he knew Shadow had saved Earth, had sacrificed himself… It would have been a noble death, had it not been for the tragic life that had preceded. Tragedy that’d transformed the sacrificial act into a devastating loss that now tore at the survivor’s chest. Those eyes had been so red on the moon, only brightened by those dark quills haloed by the distant sun.
The tears reappeared behind Sonic’s eyelids. Well, he had tried hadn’t he? This time he let the tears flow and his fists fly. It felt good to hit something. He started to yell, to scream at the top of his lungs. No one could hear him when he was so far out. It felt good. Good to let all of his hurt and pain and anger out into something that felt so tangible. Several branches had fallen from the old oak who had unintentionally garnered Sonic’s blind wrath. Sonic continued to beat his gloved fists into the bark, he knew he wouldn’t stop until the tree fell or—
His next punch failed to meet the bark of his target. Odd. His hand had caught in someone else’s, that much was clear. It could be Knuckles or Tails. He didn’t care. He threw his other fist, but that one caught too. He yelled and yanked his fists from the grip of whichever friend had come to ruin his moping.
“Agh! Why can’t you just leave me be?!” He screamed, the tears leaving dark colored streaks across his blue fur. The interrupter remained silent. Sonic screamed into his gloves and swung away from the tree protecter.
“Sonic…” The voice was tentative, speaking as if the name was foreign to it. Sonic whirled back to face them. It took a painful moment for his brain to register who was standing before him. A painful moment for him to lurch forward into the arms that a moment ago had negated his fists from beating an innocent tree. The arms hugged him back, a tight embrace Sonic returned with what he hoped was three times the force. He buried his face in the black and red quills. There was a soft chuckle from Shadow that Sonic hadn’t been expecting.
“You’re alive…” The incredulity clear in his voice.
“I’m alive.” Shadow agreed. Sonic pulled back to look at those ruby-red eyes. He knew his mouth was open. He didn’t care. There was a soft smile that had been stuck on Shadow’s lips but still seemed to fit perfectly. It looked like Shadow didn’t know how to do this anymore than he was used to saying Sonic’s name.
“H-how? T-the blast?” When had his hands moved to cradle that face? The tender action surprising the both of them. Shadow still had his arms around Sonic.
“I’m a weapon.” Shadow said darkly. Sonic shook his head, face dropping into a displeased expression.
“No. You’re Shadow.” Sonic said almost petulantly, with a stubborn set to his jaw. Shadow smiled at him. A genuine, warm, almost loving— loving?
“And you’re Sonic.” Sonic stared.
“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Shadow shrugged. His previous small smile threatening to widen.
“It was meant to be the truth— Sonic.” Like that convinced Sonic. Sonic grinned now, making sure to add his trademark (definitely 100% genuine trademark) eye roll. He felt an urge to surge forward and smash their lips together, but held back, unsure if Shadow would be okay with that level of contact. He was clearly okay with holding his waist. At the acknowledgement of their current position Sonic felt his face heat his fur.
“I really want to kiss you right now.” He admitted. It was a long shot, but he was impulsive. What could he say? Shadow’s eyes widened and Sonic could’ve sworn he saw a faint flush on the other. The grasp around his waist tightened and he was pulled even closer to the other, their noses brushing together. Shadow’s previous shock had whittled down to a smirk and quirked brow. He brought their faces closer together.
“Then I think you should.” Sonic didn’t need a second invitation. He surged forward and landed on his target. Shadow let out a surprised little puff of air as their mouths collided and breaths connected. After the brief moment of shock Shadow kissed back, parting his lips and inviting Sonic in. Their tongues met in slow, searching movements. Sonic had never kissed before, but he’d seen plenty of movies and it wasn’t like Green Hill had access to the internet or anything. He wasn’t so sure about Shadow though, but wow was it amazing. Sonic moved his hands from Shadow’s face and wrapped his arms around the hedgehog’s neck, pulling him closer still. Shadow kissed back with equal intensity, one of his hands moved to Sonic’s chin in attempt to angle him better. Sonic’s chest was alight. It felt like he was floating he was so elated. Just the act of kissing Shadow, Shadow’s hold on him… it felt like his world was being completed.
They broke apart gasping for air. Each having spent theirs on the kiss. They stared at each other. Green eyes into red ones. Each reflecting the awe and love they felt for the other in their eyes.
“What does this mean?” Shadow asked after a long, beautiful moment. Sonic didn’t want to think about the future. Or the past. He just wanted this moment to last for an eternity. He answered Shadow with a fierce hug, burying his face in the other’s quills again. Shadow hugged back, but it was clear he was still waiting for an answer.
“Whatever-“ Sonic paused to take a breath. “Whatever you want it to-“ Shadow shook his head. Adamant that Sonic give him a verbal, non-open-ended response.
“What did it mean to you?” The words caught in his throat. What did it mean to him. What did it mean to him?
“I love you. I love you Shadow. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I- I love you.” Shadow looked mildly confused but smiled nonetheless. “Well- I might know when.” He said sheepishly, grinning and rubbing the back of his neck.
“Love.” Shadow said. Trying to grasp his particular meaning. “Not like Maria.” Sonic shook his head. Trying his best not to take that the wrong way.
“Like Tom and Maddie.” Sonic smiled. Shadow nodded, still not quite understanding but still smiling.
“They’re married- yes?”
“Yes.” Sonic blinked. “I-I y-yes they are, but we don’t- is marriage even allowed for alien life forms? I mean- we don’t have to but I-I-“ The last thing Sonic was expecting in that moment was for Shadow to kiss him again. Soft and tender, with all the love and devotion he hadn’t known he had been missing. Sonic melted into it. Forgetting his rambling, which was probably the point. Shadow pulled back first, gazing at Sonic. The expression sends delightful shivers down his spine. Seriousness had seeped into the mix of confusion and love painting his features.
“I love you too, Sonic.” The synching feeling in his chest released the moment Sonic registered the words.
“Shadow.” He tried to poor everything into his—lover’s—partner’s— name?
“Sonic.” Sonic sighed at the address, contentment settling in his bones and the weariness of the past month finally falling from his frame. He looked up at Shadow, a question on his tongue. Shadow raised a brow. “Yes?”
“When did you—know?” Sonic asked. Voicing the question as it had popped into his mind. Shadow frowned in thought.
“On the moon, I believe. Perhaps in London. I am not sure.” It looked like the thought pained him. Sonic smiled. “You?” Shadow looked at him now, with those red eyes, that Sonic knew would never leave him alone again.
“The fight with the robots. The last—first?—one.” He choked out.
“Did you like my silver fur?” Shadow asked and his cadence sounded so much like Knuckles, Sonic had to laugh.
“Yes- but it was more than that, too.” He smiled. “I don’t know if I can explain it.” Shadow smiled back at him.
“I think I can live with that.” Sonic pressed their noses together and enjoyed the small shiver he felt reverberate between them.
“I love you.”
“And as I’ve said, I love you too.”
“Oh you do not get to have the last word in this.” Shadow grinned at Sonic’s predictable competitive streak returning.
“Same old hedgehog.”
“Hey! Who’re you calling old? I’m sixteen thank you very much.” Sonic pouted. Shadow simply grinned at him and pulled him in by the waist, connecting their lips again. And Sonic knew that he would sear that kiss and every other one that would follow into his memory forevermore.