Archive of Our Own

When the world whispered of fate, of those fated to exist in each other’s lives for the rest of time, to forever find each other in every life, Felix never understood it.

He remembers asking his mother why he had red lines across his skin mapping a loop around each of his body parts when she only had two, one of which was taught and frayed.

He was six when she asked him to paint the lines on his skin. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t see his lines, see hers like he could.

“My special boy, destined for so much, for greatness.” Was all she said when he asked. So, he painted the lines like she asked, with her help-and a mirror.

The easiest was his index finger, looped a few times around the digit. The next two were his elbows, matching almost perfectly in placement. One sat above the joint whilst the other sat below it. The third one was his chest, looping perfectly that it rested across his heart. Below that, the red line sat at his waist, and then a little lower one sat on his hips. The final one confused him, but using the mirror, he traced the way the line wrapped over his ear, in a similar fashion to the way his mother would tuck his hair behind it.

When he travelled to Korea the words she’d whispered to him, that he was destined for greatness, they’d become the repeated mantra in his mind, a grounding for the hard work he knew he would need to put into achieving his dream.

Jisung was the first one he met.

He’d succeeded in his auditions and even though he struggled to understand the instructors, stumbling through his words with a red face and a silent determination to learn, grow, it still felt humiliating.

“Australian, right?” His head snapped up to find a dark coffee gaze staring at him curiously.

Then he noticed the string, how such a short distance away between them seemed like miles. His head was swimming. It was another second before he realised that he hadn’t replied.

“Uh, yeah.” He finally answered, tearing his eyes from the red string, and meeting a somewhat confused yet amused gaze.

“There’s another Australian, my friend Chan-hyung. I can introduce you. My name is Han Jisung.” And Felix, who was so disorientated, his mind scrambling from finding one of his red strings, tried to find the words to convey the kind of gratitude that he was feeling. 

It was a hand amidst the waves of the sea trying to pull him under. An extension of possible friendship.

“Ah, I’m Lee Felix.” Jisung smiled at him, and he reminded himself to take a deep breath.

And just like that, the moment was gone and Jisung had vanished with a shouted promise to find him the following day.

He’d never felt so empty, not even after he discovered that he would find 8 people who would love him.

-✰-

Jisung kept his promise, seeking Felix out after he’d finished practice and this time he expected the red string. But what shocked him was how he could see more red strings attached to him, similarly to Felix. 

He’d never seen anyone with more than three before, they felt so rare and part of him had always envied those with so little strings tied to them. 

To devote yourself to someone so wholly, he wondered briefly if his amount would end up in seven moments of heartbreak before the eighth came along. 

But he couldn’t dwell as Jisung greeted him. 

“Are you ready? I’ve spoken with Chan-hyung and he’s excited to find another Australian over here.” Felix grinned, his heart ready to just about burst out of his chest. 

“It’s been difficult to make friends, so I’m excited, but a little nervous.” He admitted and Jisung’s face softened.

“We’ll look after you, don’t worry.” 

It wasn’t far for them to walk, a flash of fear curdling the excitement in his gut. The other seemed to sense the hesitation.

“I can walk you back to the dorm, it’s okay. We figured it would be easier to meet away from the eyes of everyone.” And something in Felix warmed in that knowledge, that they’d guessed he would feel under pressure, eyes staring at the clear outsider and making him reluctant to really talk.

When Jisung waved to two others, Felix felt his breath catch. 

Two more threads linked to him and Jisung, but with each other as well. 

It felt like in that moment, his heart had been stolen from his chest, along with his lungs, unable to catch his breath as he stared for a few seconds too long before a wide smile broke out across his face. 

If the other two noticed it, they didn’t comment and he introduced himself to them, trying his hardest to not stare at the red strings that were linked back to him, wrapped around and settled on his skin.

He joined them on the picnic blanket, unsure of how to really settle into the group, but Chan seemed to sense his hesitation.

“A rare sight to find another Australian,” Chan commented with a gentle smile directed at Felix, “how are you finding it?” 

And it took him a full second to process the words. It was rare to hear English being used so casually and he was hit with the full force of homesickness upon hearing the accent.

“Difficult.” He admitted almost shyly. “I think the hardest is learning Korean, but I’m getting better.” 

“And how are you settling training?” There was a curl of envy in his gut as he switched to Korean and he understood that it was for his benefit.

“Hard but I’m enjoying it.” It took him a little longer before he caught up with himself and Changbin laughed.

“Hard work is always good.” There were shared looks between the trio and Felix felt like he’d missed a joke but didn’t say anything as Jisung began to ask him about the classes he was taking. 

Every so often his eyes would flicker to the bonds between them, silently asking the universe that his guess was right and they’d be in his life for good. 

Even with his homesickness, he felt content to sit and chat, part of his heart filling slowly every time they made him laugh.

-✰-

After another day with Jisung, Changbin and Chan, Felix waved to Jisung after being dropped off at the dorms and to his surprise he bumped into another person, an apology immediately on his lips.

His words were caught when he saw the connecting line and he swallowed, taking in a deep breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t look where I was going.” The other boy laughed and it set fire to his insides, a sound that he found he loved hearing from his other soulmates, so this wasn’t a surprise to him.

“You’re okay. You’re the other Australian kid, right?” He bit back a sarcastic remark, because he knew that with Chan the older had been here much longer. 

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m Lee Felix.” 

“Hwang Hyunjin.” And just like that, it felt like everything settled once more. 

“We’ve been in training together, right?” Felix asked, unwilling to let his soulmate escape so soon. Hyunjin laughed.

“So now you recognise me.” His face grew warm as his fingers moved to the back of his neck, carefully scratching it as he wondered how he could salvage this. 

“I’m trying to make sure I understand when the teacher tells me to go left or right.” The admittance was sheepish and not entirely untrue and a look of understanding crossed Hyunjin’s face.

“You are also learning Korean, yes?” The words were stilted in English, but there was something he could grasp, something to hold onto hopefully as he got to know his soulmate.

“Yes. Are you learning English then?” Hyunjin’s smile as he answered back in Korean made him briefly realise that he was fucked with his soulmates no matter what.

His mum always said that his heart was too big for him alone and he would be quick to love those who were his.

“Maybe you can teach me and I can help you?” He wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to spend time with his soulmate and his heart leapt at the offer.

“Only if we also work on some of the choreographies together. Evaluations are coming up and I can even see that some trainees are struggling.” Felix tacked on, and much to his surprise, the other nodded, accepting the addition.

“You’re fun to practice with, no hardship there.” 

He fell into his studying with the biggest smile on his face that evening.

-✰-

“Felix!” Hyunjin’s arm slipped through his and he fought instinct to immediately lean into him. Instead, he nudged him, his grip remaining firm, curled around his soulmates.

He clearly wasn’t bothered by this as he used this as his opportunity to guide Felix away from the library where he needed to be studying.

“Wrong way, Jinnie.” Came the amused retort from him and Hyunjin snorted.

“You need food first before you go stuffing your brain with Korean. I also want to introduce you to my little brother who isn’t related to me.” There was something that warmed in him hearing that.

He knew the feeling, his thoughts going to Chan and Changbin who had all but adopted him, helping him when he asked and teasing him like he figured older brothers would.

“Fine, but you’re coming with me to study today.” He argued and Hyunjin gave him a put upon sigh before nodding.

They arrived at the canteen, and Felix mourned the fact that they had to separate, both of them collecting and paying for their food before Hyunjin began to look around. 

He kept his eyes on Hyunjin, watching when he’d found who he was looking for and began to lead him over.

It was only when Felix looked down he saw the two connecting strings with another and everything in his body seemed to light up as he realised that this time it wasn’t a soulmate he’d already met. 

He knew he’d never get tired of the feeling that flooded him when he realised he’d found another one of his seven strings and so it was easy to greet the stranger with a softer smile.

“Hyunjin-hyung, you take forever.”

Felix felt almost giddy.

“And you are impatient. Felix, this is Yang Jeongin. Jeongin, this is Lee Felix.” 

There was a second before he smiled at him and Felix couldn’t help himself.

“He’s adorable.” Both of them laughed as the blush rose to his cheeks and there was a grumble but he didn’t argue with the two.

“One day hyung, someone will make you all flustered.” Felix found himself grinning as Hyunjin promptly shook his head, reaching over to ruffle Jeongin’s hair, much to his protest.

“Maybe, but instead we’ll settle on making you all embarrassed. Now, how is school going?” 

Felix found himself happy to listen as the younger complained about his classes, feeling like he was missing out by only coming on the weekends. 

“I’m studying too.” He piped up and it earned him a curious look and Hyunjin hid a grin, which immediately earned him a scowl from Felix. “No thanks to a mutual friend of ours.” 

“He’s no friend of mine.” Jeongin promptly responded, and he nearly laughed at the look of shock mixed with betrayal on Hyunjin’s face.

“I’ve been learning Korean and he keeps trying and mostly succeeding in confusing me, even though he forgets I’m the one who’s teaching him English.” The look of betrayal became one that was more sheepish and there was a laugh from the youngest.

“I can help you get payback, he needs to be taken down a notch.” 

The shared laughter warmed his heart.

-✰-

Someone somewhere in the universe was laughing at Felix, he was certain.

 The day had been long and full of mistakes, ones which shouldn’t have been made as his instructor had snapped at him when he’d fumbled over the most basic thing. 

He’d avoided the usual haunts where he'd find his soulmates, unsure if he wanted them to see him like this. But then he watched as two of the strings disappeared into the building that held the training rooms.

On the chance that it was either Chan, Changbin or Jisung, he knew they’d allow him to either hide or join with them on the practice session. 

So he hiked his bag over his shoulder and made his way in, offering small smiles of greeting to the few people who were finishing up for the day and then refocusing on the strings.

Without really looking, he entered and then stopped dead, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

“Uh.” 

Hyunjin was standing next to a younger trainee, his expression amused but held his hand out in invitation to Felix to stop him from turning back around.

“Stay.” 

His body obeyed his soulmate before his mind caught up to the request and he felt his cheeks grow warm. 

“Sure.”

“Are you done making moon eyes or can we keep going?” His unknown soulmate snarked and he found himself snorting at the comment as Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“From the top.” 

He settled next to the door, eyes watching as Hyunjin ran through the routine, correcting as he went along. It was fascinating to watch as he worked, his eyes still straying to the second red string. 

Eventually his unknown soulmate lay on the floor in such a dramatic fashion, it made him laugh.

“You don’t even know me and you’re laughing at me.” He complained and Felix caught a smirk on Hyunjin’s lips.

“Kim Seungmin, this is Lee Felix. Felix, this is Kim Seungmin, also known as a dramatic dog.” There was clearly a joke they shared as Seungmin glared at both Hyunjin and Felix.

“Not me you should be glaring at.” Felix shot at him and he snorted.

“You still walked into my practice time.” He fired back, but there was no heat behind his words.

“I thought you were different people so I didn’t pay attention.” He was careful now, unwilling to really say he’d followed the strings hoping for other people. 

Hyunjin laughed.

“Stop pouting and get back up. We’re going again.” Seungmin grumbled at the older but complied, the music restarting and Felix settled in to watch the practice, pulling out one of his study books as he did so.

He was in no mood to participate, but he could at least say that he’d been productive. 

-✰-

Felix knew he was being unfair to himself.

But it didn’t help that the comments from the evaluations reflected the voice in his head that whispered he wasn’t doing enough, that he wouldn’t be enough for his soulmates. 

He pushed and pushed until he couldn’t and then still tried to give his all.

He knew his soulmates were worried. Chan especially so. But he couldn’t tell them, couldn’t voice his issues out of fear of them becoming true. 

Six of the strings were bunched together as he practiced, telling him that they were all together and something eased in him. But the final string that he’d tried to not think about seemed to be moving. 

His simple distraction left him sprawled on the floor just as the door opened, a loud curse escaping his lips as his frustrations finally bubbled over.

That was when he saw who entered and he felt his gut twist in a mixture of anxiety and fear.

Not the way he’d wanted to introduce himself to his final soulmate it seemed.

“I can help you with the footwork if you’d like?” The offer seemed genuine and Felix couldn’t help but eye him carefully. He’d never been wary around his soulmates, but he couldn’t afford the distractions, to fail.

“You don’t know me, why?” He finally answered and there was a twitch of the others lips, a whisper of a smile. 

“You’re putting in the effort, it means you’re determined and won’t mess around.” Came the easy response and that caught him off guard. 

After hearing his soulmates telling him to rest, to ease up, it was almost refreshing to hear someone acknowledge the effort, the blood sweat and tears he was putting into this.

“Lee Felix.” He greeted and the other chuckled softly.

“Lee Min-ho.” 

There was a breath between them, one clearly judging the other before Minho reached out and held his hand, and Felix accepted it, being pulled up and relishing in the final connection, his soul settling into something that whispered of comfort, warmth. 

It was with a new energy he began to run through the routine and accepted help as well as his criticisms. 

He felt like he could breathe. 

-✰-

He’d been eliminated. 

It felt like everything had been pulled out from under him. 

He couldn’t look at them, it was bad enough when Minho was eliminated and they’d been caught off guard from it.

They were his soulmates and he’d been ripped away from them.

He wiped at his face, trying to keep himself together, to stem the flow of tears but his heart was breaking into pieces. 

Suddenly Jisung was there, his hands on his shoulders and pulling him into his arms and he crumbled into him, a sob escaping his lips as he clung back tightly.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” The words were the only thing that could escape him. 

He couldn’t even thank them, tell them how much they meant to him, how much they had changed his life in such a short amount of time. It made everything hurt that much more.

Jisung held him tightly, and Felix knew he was trembling in his soulmate's arms. 

He thought the feeling of being empty the first time Jisung left him was bad enough. But this? It felt like somebody had cleaved his heart in two and he wasn’t sure what would happen next now that his soulmates were likely going to be moving forward without him.

Chan came up to him next, tears in his eyes and Felix felt something in him break.

Seeing his hyung cry was bad enough, but knowing he was the cause of it made it so much worse.

“Always find me, yeah? I’m not gonna leave you behind.” His voice broke and Felix nodded as he took in a shaky breath as Chan took his hand, squeezing it and he felt like he was going to throw up. 

He saw Changbin crouched and he couldn’t bear this. 

He went over, trying to keep his own crying under control as he got on his knees in front of Changbin, pulling the older one into a hug and it felt so wrong. It felt so wrong that his soulmates were crying like this, that he was comforting them for something that was his fault. 

“I’m sorry.” He got out into his shoulder and Felix wanted to scream. 

“Hyung, why are you sorry?” He asked between his tears, arms tight as he tried to convey that he held no blame for this. This was on his shoulders, even with his hard work it hadn’t been enough. 

“I’m really sorry.” Changbin repeated and this time, Felix pulled back, forcing him to look at him.

“Hyung, why should you be sorry?” He got out between broken gasps and a fresh wave of tears. 

He pulled him back close and just held him as they cried, the pain of the bond hurting him more knowing that he’d had a blissful few months with his soulmates. 

If that was all he could get, he’d take it.

Seeing Hyunjin crying was somehow worse than seeing the others cry. 

This wasn’t just cleaving his heart in two, this was hitting him in the chest with a blunt knife and twisting it harshly.

“I’m so sorry.” He got out before Hyunjin was pulling him in, his arm curling around his waist and his head resting on his shoulder. 

“Why...” The arm around him got tighter as he rocked them both gently and this time the sobs were unrelenting. “Don’t cry.” His voice was quieter, and Felix clung to him, that feeling of despair rippling through him.

But he couldn’t stop crying.

His world was crumbling around him and he didn’t know what to do, how to fix it.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Yongbokkie.” He whispered, his hand gently patting him, switching to soothing circular motions and it seemed to only hurt him further.

His skin felt like it was on fire, like his connections could feel the heartbreak, could feel the agony. 

Part of him felt like the strings were branding him, burning him for hurting his soulmates in such a way that the bond was rippling, causing pain.

A small voice in his mind whispered he deserved it.

He didn’t want to see the bonds any more.

-✰-

He’d put it off to the very last minute. But with the elimination, the writing had been on the wall for him.

He kept finding shirts that weren’t his, hoodies that he’d stolen from his soulmates and part of him whispered that he needed to give them back, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t physically let go of the very real items that told him he had found his soulmates.

There was a knock on the door, but he said nothing.

He found he couldn’t speak much these days.

His fingers were grasping one of Changbin’s shirts, trying not to cry as he went to fold it when he heard the door open.

“Oh.”

Panic flared; he knew that voice anywhere. He’d been avoiding them, unable to look, unable to see if they hated him, if they blamed him. He couldn’t do that.

“I can give it back to you.” Felix’s voice was a whisper, tears already pooling in his eyes. He couldn’t even look Changbin in the eyes.

“No. No, no, no.” His voice was a broken whisper and Felix found himself crushed against his chest; face pressed into his shoulder. His arms went around him, and he felt the hand rest against his hair as he couldn’t stop the sob. They rocked side to side, so very slowly but he couldn’t do anything but cling tightly to his soulmate and beg the universe not to take him away.

“I let you down.” He got out between sobs and the arms tightened around him.

His heart hurt.

“You let no one down, I promise. Please believe me when I say you worked the hardest out of all of us. It was us, me who failed you.” The words were half muffled and his voice kept cracking, but Felix shook his head.

He would not let his soulmates take the blame for something that had been his doing, his fault.

“But you didn’t mess up.” He whispered and God, Felix felt so tired.

“But we’re your team, your family. We didn’t support you; we may as well have messed up.” Changbin’s words seemed to stun him.

They truly felt that way, thinking that his elimination was because they didn’t support him? When they’d done nothing but keep his head above water?

Felix could only hold tighter and cry.

When his sobs turned into softer hiccups, he felt so drained, his eyes feeling heavy and his body feeling like he’d just done a full day of practice.

Changbin pulled back but Felix’s arms couldn’t let him go, his vice-like grip holding him in place, unwilling to let him go for even a second, even with how tired he felt. Letting him go wasn’t an option, not when he knew what was going to happen, that he’d have to say goodbye.

Instead, Changbin took it in his stride, moving his hands so that they cradled Felix’s face, thumbs wiping the tears away with such a tenderness that his heart shattered all over again. There was no disgust, no disappointment in his eyes that he’d initially feared. It was care, concern, love.

The universe was cruel.

“Chan-hyung meant it when he said that he’s not going to leave you behind.” Felix knew he was being honest; he was always good at sniffing out the liars when it came to his emotions. But he couldn’t hope. He couldn’t dare hope because if they were truly ripped away from him, he wasn’t sure he’d survive.

They’d have each other, but he wouldn’t have them.

“I’m scared.” He finally admitted, whispered in a scratchy voice that hurt his throat, and his head was pounding from crying so much. He watched his older brother's face fall at his words.

“I know, I know.” Changbin’s voice held a hint of panic, his own fear deep seated. “But we can’t lose you, Felix.”

He wanted to believe that he’d survive this, that he’d be able to live with a broken heart. But even now, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

As he finally pulled away, shirt still clutched in his hand, a soft smile crossed his soulmate's lips, gently prying the shirt from his fingers and for a heartstopping second, he thought he was about to take it away.

But then he folded it carefully into the suitcase, with a gentleness that Felix knew he possessed and shared when it was needed.

“If Chan-hyung somehow fucked this up, and you don’t debut with us, I’ll send you shirts every so often. Can’t have my little brother miss me too much.”

It was too much for his heart, the ache that felt so bone deep that it was painful.

He hated the red lines that he could see but instead he wrapped his arms around his hyung once more and allowed himself to sink into the comfort.

Being able to see who his soulmates were felt like such a curse.

-✰-

He knew Chan was worried. 

He slipped into his hyung’s room, settling on the small couch he’d managed to get in there and said nothing as the older finished his work. 

Once the laptop was closed, the spot beside him shifted and Felix was hesitant before tilting himself into Chan’s space and immediately he welcomed the invasion, arms wrapping around him, pulling him close. 

“How do you feel knowing that we’re debuting together again?” He asked quietly and Felix nearly told him it felt like life had been breathed back into him again. 

It had been the worst time, unable to look at his soulmates. 

He’d avoided Hyunjin, unable to bear the blunt knife in his chest again. But he knew it was hurting them, his avoidance. 

“Better.” He finally admitted, hesitating on the rest of the sentence. “I still keep thinking that the rug will be pulled again and you’ll be whisked away without me.” Chan’s arms tightened around him in response. 

“Never.” The word was so fierce, filled with conviction and god it shouldn’t have made him as emotional as it did, but even without the knowledge of them being soulmates, they somehow knew. 

“I want to be happy but, I genuinely don’t know how to get past this.” He finally murmured, sinking a little bit further into his hyungs touch, a gentle hand coming up to card through his hair. 

“We were all worried about you. Changbin especially so.” Chan murmured and Felix felt the guilt swallow up his stomach and heart. 

He’d known that they’d been hurt by his actions, but he also couldn’t face them knowing that he’d been the cause of their pain. 

“I couldn’t face you guys. I didn’t know what to say or do.” He whispered and a soft kiss was pressed into his temple. He closed his eyes and soaked up the warmth. 

It’s easier with Chan , a small voice whispered to him.

There was an understanding of always being the outsider, of having to fight hard to get where they were. He fought and he fought to keep Felix with them, for them to debut together along with Minho.

“I think I convinced myself that you all didn’t want me. I couldn’t bear to see that truth in your eyes.” He whispered. A half truth because it was a distinct fear. But he couldn’t bear to look at the way he was connected yet he felt so far away from them, never able to keep up, to forever get left behind.

Chan made a noise that was pained, his arms tightening, and Felix didn’t fight. He was tired of fighting and for once he just wanted to be held.

They were curled up in silence together, and he soaked in the comfort, the warmth being wrapped up in such a way that he could forget that he felt so very broken.

“Is there anything else?” Chan almost hesitantly asked, and the words were on the tip of his tongue.

You’re my soulmate. All of you are.

He couldn’t bring himself to say it, though.

He felt like a coward.

Chan, the ever-insufferable man who knew when to back off, to give space, could tell that he wasn’t ready to talk, and Felix only loved him more for it.

“If you need to talk, I’m always here for you. You can always find me.”

And God, wasn’t that the joke on him? The one who would always find them no matter what. He pressed his face against his neck and just settled there, content to ignore the world for a few more hours.

-✰-

You can always find me.

The parting words his hyung left him with, had him hesitate, but it was enough for Chan to understand that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but that he didn’t know how.

How do you tell the seven people you’ve loved for so long that they’re each other's soulmates? 

When he returned to the dorm, Minho was waiting for him, but there was no frown on his lips, no scathing or sharp words to make him feel worse than he already did.

It was seeing the utter care in his gaze, the fondness that he had that was exactly the same look he gave when he talked about his cats, about the people he loved. 

He was looking at him with that gaze, like he truly believed that Felix was worthy of such love, such affection.

The concern turned to worry before his face blurred and tears began to fall. No sound left his mouth but he was gasping, his chest tight like he’d been wrapped in metal, unyielding and crushing his chest.

He knew it was panic. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but this time there was a body cradling him like they would a child. The noise was loud, blood roaring in his ears as he tried to catch his breath, his chest aching as he heaved deep, shuddering breaths.

He was in his hyungs arms, that much he knew. It was familiar, even if it felt like his touch burned.

But then the hand went to his ear, a soft touch that brought back those memories as a child, where his mother tucked his hair behind his ear and whispered how he was destined for greatness.

And oh, what better greatness than to be loved by these boys who looked at him with care and affection? 

He knew his decision as the first sob finally broke free and he cried. 

He missed his home, he missed the time before he knew about soulmates, but he also missed them. He’d missed them from the moment he knew about soulmates and he was certain that would never change.

The soothing touch behind his ear never moved, and so he focused on it, the slow repetitive motions slowly dragging his focus from the steel bands around his chest. Minho was silent in his affection, only offering a gentle shush when small, broken noises escaped his lips.

“Can you hear me now, Yongbok?” He had no energy to say anything, barely giving a nod to acknowledge his words. “Good, you’re staying with me tonight and tomorrow will you finally tell us?” There was nothing cruel in his words, but there was no panic at them either.

He nodded again and it was with gentle movements that Minho kept him cradled to his chest as he stood up, his grip firm and protective, triggering a fresh set of tears as he pressed his face into his shoulder, unable to bear the idea of others seeing him like this.

Because he knew they were there. Whether through Minho or if Hyunjin made them aware of the breakdown, he could not handle the knowledge that they had watched it, watched him fall to pieces.

His hyung was gentle in his care, treating him with a soft touch, but not as if he were fragile. There was no argument, no playful teasing when he crawled in and Felix latched on, eyes shut tightly.

For once he wanted to sleep without seeing the red strings that determined everything. 

He heard whispers as he drifted off, and felt a feather light touch to his forehead and then his cheek. But he ignored it in favour of blissful rest where he did not have to see the lines of red that marked their skin.

The following morning, he was curled up against Minho.

The hand that felt like it was burning his skin the previous evening had somehow found its way back to his ear and he relished in the comfort it offered, turning his head into the unintentional affection before pressing his face into Minho’s side.

“Come now Yongbok, you can’t hide forever.” His chide was sleepy, filled with a softness that he only ever knew directed at him.

He forced his heart to calm down.

It wasn’t easy to fall back into his usual routine, but falling into familiarity certainly helped the butterflies that had exploded upon seeing the others sitting or milling around the dorm. 

No one looked his way and he was grateful as he disappeared into his room to get changed, keeping it comfy to one of the tanktops he’d long since stolen from Chan, the fabric falling off his frame in an almost comforting manner, like his hyung’s arm was slung over his shoulders. 

When he returned to the living area, Chan’s face lit up at his attire and handed him some food with a bottle of water and some pain pills.

“I figured food, water and some pain relief would be the better way to start this conversation.” He nodded to the plate and Felix didn’t hesitate to dig in. 

“Thank you Chan-hyung.” He got out after the first bite, his stomach finally making him aware of how hungry he actually was.

“We look after each other.” Was the simple response and Felix briefly wondered if any of them had a single idea of what he was about to drop on them. 

Once he finished his food and drained at least half the glass of water before Chan let him leave the kitchen, there was a moment of deciding where to sit before Hyunjin took the decision out of his hands, reaching for him with the hand that he was tied to and he fought down the tears that bubbled up as he accepted the hand and settled next to him, his own fingers curling into Hyunjin’s.

He remained silent as Chan finished up and settled himself on the floor in front of Felix.

Deep breath.

“I can see soulmate ties.” He winced at the bluntness, but the room went still.

“That’s impossible.” Seungmin scoffed and Felix felt anger bubble up. 

“Then clearly I’m impossible.” He snapped and froze, shame filling him almost instantly. “Sorry Seungmin-ah.” His gaze turned pleading and the younger held his hands up, his own eyes apologetic.

“Before Yongbok loses his temper, how about we keep any comments to ourselves and let him tell us what he means?” Chan’s voice of reason gained nods from the others as Seungmin’s hands fell back into his lap, a soft apology from the younger.

“Ever since I was little, I’ve seen red lines across everyone. I never understood until I asked my mum. There were always lines and no one ever saw them. So she sat me down and asked me what I saw. I drew two lines on her and told her that I could see the lines, leaving our home. One was more frayed on her.” He could feel how shaky his breath was becoming, the panic threatening to overwhelm him. 

Hyunjin’s hand squeezed his and he settled.

“She asked me how many I saw on me. I remember proudly telling her I had seven red lines. All over my body. That was the first day she told me I was destined for so much. What became my mantra, especially when I joined the company.” His gaze moved to Jisung and his eyes widened.

“That first day, I was confused why you were staring at my feet, but it wasn’t that, was it?” Felix caught a glimpse of the fond annoyance on Chan’s face but he didn’t interrupt. 

“You had a red line. Attached to me.” His voice had fallen to a whisper now. “I was so caught off guard and I couldn’t understand because did this mean I was going to be heartbroken seven different times? Would you abandon me, break my heart? I was a mess that first night.” He laughed, something wet and almost self deprecating as he tried not to focus on the devastating look on Jisung’s face.

“I would never.” He murmured, almost defiant. And Felix knew that he wouldn’t, the elimination had shown him that. He knew that Jisung would love him no matter what.

“But then you introduced me to Chan-hyung and Changbin-hyung. And then there were two more threads attached to me. Then I saw more threads around you all and I realised that we were linked, that it wouldn’t be heartbreak. But I knew I couldn’t say anything. School taught me that.” There was a bitter note to his tone and it was Minho’s expression that surprised him.

He’d seen many looks on his face, many emotions but this was a kind of fury that he’d never seen before. 

“They never should have stopped teaching about soulmates. Especially the stories of those who could see the connections.” His voice was hard, earning a few surprised looks from the younger members, but both Chan and Changbin nodded in agreement.

“Minho-hyung?” Felix whispered and he gave him such a soft smile that he wondered if he’d woken up in a different world.

“My family used to be able to see the red string of fate. Someone always cropped up in the family tree, but it’s been generations since the last one. Our elders always taught us the importance of those who could see. Yongbok, you were gifted with such a blessing, and it’s a crime the world could not and would not see it for what it is. Touched by fate.” 

His breathing became shaky at that and this time the hand that was grounding him suddenly wasn’t there. 

“You’re with us, Yongbok.” A voice whispered and it took a second to refocus, Chan in front of him and hands firmly on his shoulders, thumbs gently rubbing in a soothing motion against his shoulder and he could feel Hyunjin’s other hand wrapped around his wrist, the pressure giving him something to focus on. 

“Sorry hyung.” He whispered and Chan shook his head.

“It’s a lot for all of us, it’s okay.” The reassurance did wonders for his spiralling mind, quelling the panic that had been bubbling under the surface.

He was safe with them.

“Can you see everyone’s?” It seems that Changbin’s patience had run out and despite the nudge to the side he received from Jisung, Felix nodded at the question.

“Everyone has at least one. For the longest time, I’d only ever seen two, occasionally three. Jisung was the first person I’d seen with as many as me.” The admittance was soft, unsure. Jisung’s face seemed to be in shock, before red coloured his cheeks and he gave him a wide smile.

“I was the first soulmate you met!” Warmth bloomed in Felix’s chest at the excited declaration, the excitement something so genuine and honest and he could feel the tears once more, but this time he let them fall, the feeling finally settling in that they believed him.

Even Seungmin, whose face held no scepticism, instead something more trusting, more warm.

“Can you show us?” Hyunjin asked quietly from next to him and everyone stilled at the question as Felix contemplated.

“You really want to see?” He finally asked, his eyes moving between his soulmates, finally resting on Chan who seemed to understand the others would follow his lead in this choice.

“To see what our Yongbokkie can see? Why wouldn’t we want to share a special gift like that?” Felix felt his cheeks grow warm as he nodded. Carefully, he let go of Hyunjin’s hand, much to the dismay of the other if the pout was anything to say, but his whispered apology was accepted along with the soft touch of his hand resting on the olders cheek, reassurance he would return.

Disappearing into his room, he found the red paint that he had hidden away, the giddy feeling of a secret wish coming true filling his body and sending the butterflies scattering. 

When he returned, no one had moved, but as Chan looked at him, he suddenly felt so out of his depth again, like the first time when he helped his mother paint the lines on his own skin and then hers.

“It’ll be easier to paint on the skin rather than your clothes. Only the shirts need to come off.” He added hastily as Changbin’s hands went to his belt buckle. The disappointment seemed to do it for him and he laughed until there was a stitch in his side and the others were all laughing along with him.

Once he calmed down, he knew he needed to decide who was going to paint first. Part of him whispered that he should show them his first, ease them into it. But he knew who the first person needed to be.

“Chan-hyung?” His voice was much quieter now and the other understood the importance of his choice, the trust he was giving him.

Without further prompting, he pulled off his shirt, and it spoke volumes to Felix that the others didn’t wolf whistle or make any playful comments. And for that he was eternally grateful because he was certain his nerves would fail him.

Dipping the brush in the paint, he followed along the line that seemed to be inked into the skin already across Chan’s chest, fighting the rising blush as he realised exactly who matched the one across his own chest.

Chan had never been shy in saying that he considered Felix an extension of home, something that was shared by him. 

The next one was his biceps, the matching lines across either arm, he was able to ignore the giggles from the others as Chan held his arms awkwardly to allow time for the paint to dry.

“I’m convinced this is your way of revenge.” His hyung muttered, setting off the laughter from the others whilst Felix gave him an apologetic smile.

“Not this time, hyung.” 

Next moved down to his palms, the red line wrapping around on both and he could feel the fond look Chan was giving him, but he knew if he met the look head on, he would break into pieces. 

It was one thing knowing they loved him, trusted him. But to see such a precious feeling so close? He needed time before he could deal with that inevitable breakdown.

He moved on from the palms, doing the small line that wrapped around his earlobe, before painting the line that wrapped around his head, over his eyes. Chan didn’t protest as Felix quietly instructed him to keep his eyes shut for a moment and then he was done.

His eyes turned to Minho next and he moved before he could be asked, tugging his shirt off as he did so.

He repeated the process. 

This time he started with the head, letting the line cross his eyes before moving to his ear and painting the almost achingly familiar line. Then he moved down to his bicep and painted a second line a little further down which wrapped around his forearm. 

“I know my family have books, legends that were written and handed down to the family about people who could see the red ties of fate. Would you like me to see if I can ask about it and get it if I can?” Minho asked quietly as Felix moved on to painting the line across his shoulders, the line dipping below his shoulder blades. 

He did not answer right away as he painted, moving the brush to circle both ring fingers, hesitating for a moment.

“I’d like that very much Minho-hyung.” He finally answered. Knowing there were generations of people who shared his gift, even if they were no longer alive, it was a gift in itself. The knowledge that he was never truly alone. 

Minho nodded before returning to his seat and the others seemed to understand the deliberate choice as his gaze turned to Changbin, who, even in the serious atmosphere got everyone to crack a smile as he pulled off his shirt and swung it before flinging it at Jisung who received a face full of fabric, spluttering as he did so.

Felix giggled.

He started at the chest once more, this time painting across Changbin’s shoulders and there was a gleam of disappointment in his eyes. Felix ignored it, hiding his smile as he moved down to his biceps, and then his forearm.

The others remained silent as Felix got on with his work, no distractions, even if there were whispered conversations happening behind him, he couldn’t quite hear them so it was easy to block out the noise.

Tapping Changbin’s arms with the end of the paintbrush, silently asking him to lift the arms, he did so, and Felix began to paint the line that sat on his waist, moving the brush a little lower to paint across his hips before finally finishing with his hand.

“You’re ours, Yongbok.” He murmured and Felix knew he was reaching his limit of affection, of positive emotions. It was both exciting and draining, and Changbin seemed to silently understand as the younger sagged into him for a moment.

With a gentle pat, the older moved back to the sofa and Hyunjin stood in front of him and he could feel his mouth go dry.

Unlike the others, he started with the ring finger where their matching rings usually sat, and he watched as something in Hyunjin’s face clicked, a short breath escaping him. Felix paid no mind to it as he continued to paint, the lines wrapping around his palms first, followed by his wrist, then moving onto his bicep, a little lower than Chan’s and Changbin’s, matching Minho’s perfectly. 

His brush continued, drawing a line that went across his chest diagonally, circling back over his shoulders like a sash someone would wear for a big event. 

Nothing was said between the two, but Hyunjin took his free hand and squeezed it, the gentle action he returned before his gaze moved to Jisung.

He moved faster than the others, his grin still bright from his realisation that he’d been the first soulmate Felix had met. It made Felix smile as the brush was dipped in the paint once more.

He could hear more murmurs behind him now as the last two studied the others who had returned to their spots.

His shoulders seemed to relax more as he continued painting, and wondered if this was what Hyunjin felt when he was painting.

He returned his attention to starting with his head, painting across Jisung’s jawline, moving it down to his throat before doing the final pair of biceps. 

Changbin gasped excitedly and Felix grinned as Jisung understood immediately as his gaze moved to look behind him.

He moved the brush down to his wrist and then his ring finger, before moving across to his hips and feeling his exhaustion both set in deep to his bones but get washed away with the bright smile Jisung gave him once he was done.

He swapped with Seungmin, and there was a moment where Felix wondered if anything needed to be said between them. It was clear that the first reaction had been a knee jerk response, so he waited patiently as he began to paint the younger’s earlobe.

He made his way down to his neck, the movements slow and deliberate as he went down to the elbows, one side above the joint and one below the joint. Then it was the hand, and then the ring finger on his right hand. 

“You never deserved my doubt, Yongbok. I’m sorry.” The soft murmur was just as he closed the line around the finger and Felix gave him a soft smile.

“There’s nothing to forgive, I’m sorry for snapping back at you.” He moved onto the torso, the line going diagonal and back over the shoulder. Seungmin looked abashed but nodded. They’d both been in the wrong. 

Eventually Jeongin all but shoved Seungmin out of the way, and it earned some laughter. The others were talking quietly and Felix no longer felt like he would be distracted. 

He heard Jisung laugh as he painted the line across his jaw, followed by the soft whispers and giggles as he painted the lines across his shoulders, dipping further to just below his shoulder blades. 

He could see the youngest member was getting flustered and Felix gave him a gentle smile as he did the elbows, matching Seungmin and a look passed between the two in understanding. Jeongin beamed at him as he finished with his hands and took a deep breath.

Before he could say or do anything, Jeongin-who was yet to move-gave him a curious look.

“What about you, Yongbok-hyung?” All noises fell silent and he could feel the warmth creeping up his neck and into his face. 

“What do you need Yongbokkie?” Hyunjin came to his rescue and there was a moment as he wondered if he could get away with painting away from them before stopping that thought dead in its tracks. 

He could do this, be brave for himself and them.

“A mirror.” He murmured and Jeongin was the one who disappeared, bringing back the full length mirror that he had in his room. Felix almost wanted to laugh at how absurd it looked, but he refrained as he held it up in front of him and with a slow deep breath, he dipped the brush in the paint once more and began to paint the lines that were second nature to him now.

He started with his ear, refusing to meet the gazes of everyone who was watching him intently as the brush moved. Next he moved down to his chest, the line crossing over his heart and this time he knew he couldn’t look at them. 

Not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew if he did, he’d never finish it.

As the brush reached the furthest part of his arm, gentle fingers took hold of the brush and he watched the reflection of Hyunjin continue the line across his back. He accepted the brush once more and the brush moved down to his waist. Hyunjin remained in his spot, taking the brush off him and drawing the line across his back, bringing it to meet and then passing the brush back.

It felt so intimate, his soul truly laid bare for all of them.

The brush moved to his hips and the process repeated. 

Then he copied the lines on his elbows, finally moving to his index finger, his gaze meeting Hyunjin’s in the mirror and finding himself surprised to see tears in his eyes.

Only once the paint was dry, Hyunjin beat all of them, slender arms wrapping around his waist as his face pressed into his neck from behind and Felix let out a shaky breath.

“This is how I see all of you.” He whispered and there were no words as they each processed exactly where he slotted into their own strings. 

Minho stepped forward, hand reaching out to trace his ear and gave him a gentle smile.

“Truly a precious gift. A gift that you are and a gift that you’ve given us.” He did not doubt the conviction in Minho’s voice, nor did he shy away from the touch. They were part of him, just as he was a part of them.

-✰-

His eyes snapped open as his hand shot up, grasping air as he struggled with his blankets, terror laced in his mind, in his body. The room was so unfamiliar but not in a sense of sleeping in someone else's bed. 

They were on tour, he was in a hotel room.

Felix felt like he was going to throw up.

Blindly he grabbed his keycard, trying to remember whose room was where, but all he could remember was that Chan’s was next to his and their managers were either side of them.

He stumbled out of his room, trying to calm his racing heart, knocking on Chan’s door, head resting on the wood as he silently begged for his hyung to still be awake, tears falling down his face.

The door opened and he nearly tipped forward into Chan’s arms, his noise of surprise making him reel back in his own shock.

“Yongbok, what are you doing?” He whispered before taking in Felix’s face and immediately pulling him into the room, the door shutting softly.

“Nightmares.” He whispered and watched as Chan’s face fell before getting a decisive look. 

He was gentle as he pulled him to his bed and Felix did not protest as he was practically manhandled back into the bed, his hyung’s arms wrapping around him in such a tight grip that his heart was soothed.

He could breathe normally.

“Do you want to talk about it or try to sleep again?” He shook his head. The nightmare was too fresh but he wasn’t sure about talking about it either.

“Stay.” He whispered instead, fingers grasping his shirt and the arms around him tightened marginally, settling the irrational fear that he was going to vanish on him. 

He knew that Chan was going through the gentle breathing exercises and he found himself slowly following, his hand relaxing its grip around his fabric and his tense body finally melting into the hug, feeling almost boneless as a soft kiss was pressed into his hair. 

“You abandoned me. But it wasn’t just disappearing. The strings kept going dark, over and over every single one.” He finally got out, a soft, almost wounded noise escaping him as he acknowledged the nightmare. 

“Never.” Chan muttered, his tight grasp not faltering once and Felix let those words ring around his mind, wrapping him in comfort that he’d only ever found with his soulmates. 

It did more to chase away the lingering fear that was still in his heart, the conviction reminding him that they were still all together. 

“I’ve been thinking about our strings.” Chan whispered into the dark room once Felix began to wriggle a bit, the arms loosening so he could still hold him, but not letting him go.

He tried to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest.

“Specifically the placements, at least of ours.” 

This pulled his attention away from any lingering anxieties, the darkness a seemingly safe place for him 

“When you first painted us, seeing how each of us joined up. For some of us it was easy to guess. But it took me a while to realise the one across my chest matches yours perfectly.” Felix remained quiet, letting him speak freely. If anything it was settling him further, knowing that his soulmates thought about it. “ I could never understand the placement. I don’t doubt it’s ours because there’s something in my gut that just knows .”

“Minho-hyung teaching us about the previous seers really helped with that, didn’t he?” His voice was quiet, unwilling to break the soft layer of darkness that wrapped around them both.

He knew his hyung was smiling, even without being able to see.

“It certainly helps take those self-doubts away, yes. But I tried for so long to think of why ours was across our chests. Then, it was when we were talking about growing up in Australia, do you remember?” The question prompted memories of various times they’d discussed home, the comforts and what they both missed. 

“I remember.” He whispered softly. Chan moved his hand that had been clutching at his shirt, smoothing the palm flat before placing it over his heart, Felix fighting the blush as he did so. It wasn’t uncommon for all of them to show affection, but he still grew flustered that it was so easy for them to show how much they loved him, loved each other.

“You’re home to me. And home is where the heart is.” There was something soft and vulnerable in his voice, a touch of that understanding that they both came from similar homes. 

He wasn’t sure if he could cope with another round of tears.

“That was so cheesy, and you know it Chan-hyung.” Felix whispered into the dark; his voice thick with the emotions bubbling up. He pressed his face against Chan’s chest, soaking in how this little bit of knowledge felt right to him.

Warmth bloomed and Felix held on tight.

 “You’re my home too.” He murmured and Chan hummed, something settling under his skin where their strings connected as he finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, wrapped up safe. 

-✰-

It was a challenge, having to sit out of things because of his back. 

Even with how he’d tried to hide it, the others refused to let him hide away, especially Changbin.

“Changbin-hyung, did you want to come with me today?” Felix was dressed in his most comfortable clothes, black sweatpants and one of his hyungs shirts-he was certain it was Changbin’s-waiting at the door of the dorm to head to his physio appointment.

Changbin looked up from his spot on the couch, a confused look on his face before the realisation dawned and he sprung up, making him laugh as he rushed around to grab his things before appearing at his side in record time.

“That excited to see me get hurt, hyung?” He teased and Changbin frowned.

“They hurt you?” 

“They have to make adjustments to my body to help it heal whilst doing exercises. Chan-hyung explained this.” He complained good naturedly and Changbin grinned, nudging him as they headed out to the waiting car.

“I know, it’s fun to see you complain.” This time Felix rolled his eyes as they settled into the car ride. 

It was his least favourite time of the week, having the sessions that left him feeling like he’d done more work than whenever he’d been to the gym with Chan or Changbin.

But it seemed that the others were reluctant to let him do this alone, and whilst he appreciated it, it still felt silly to him.

Then the small voice would whisper that they’re only doing it because they were his soulmates and they felt obligated and he would tell the voice to shut up before distracting himself. 

It wasn’t a fun day for him.

The physio seemed both prepared for and used to his tag alongs at this point. Normally they would protest others being in the appointment, they certainly did so the first few. It was Chan who argued that they could help him, especially with them having to go on tour and attend events overseas. 

Changbin sat diligently as Felix went through the motions of his range of movement, stopping when the pain turned sharp in his back and he sucked in a sharp breath. 

He was quiet when the physio pressed against a spot that made him yelp at the sudden, sharp pain he hadn’t expected. 

It was only when the physio showed him how he could help and Felix found himself gritting his teeth. He didn’t want his hyung to feel guilty for hurting him, but it wasn’t missed when he let out the breath he’d been holding for the duration.

When they moved from the private room to the gym area, the physio had Changbin support him, hands resting against his spine as he carefully moved, feeling the relief of not catching one of the worst spots. 

This was the part he hated, because whilst he knew he was helping his body, it was painful and exhausting.

“Do you always wear my shirts to your appointments?” Changbin teased as he held him in position as he counted to ten in his head. Felix snorted.

“I’ve worn everyone's so you're not special, hyung.” He muttered as he moved up, taking a second to steady himself. “Plus I get more movement since everyone else's clothes are baggier on me.” 

Changbin took the explanation in his stride as they finished up and Felix thanked the physio before they headed back out. 

“You know what our placements are, don’t you?” 

The question confused Felix as they settled in the car, a yawn escaping him as he tilted his head in askance. 

“Of our strings.” Changbin confirmed and warmth bloomed in his cheeks.

“Yes. Ever since we met.” He confirmed hesitantly and there was a soft smile on his hyungs lips.

“It’s the line on your waist, right?” Felix nodded. “Don’t you think it’s strange how it’s over the spot where you’re hurt?” 

This question made him pause, his finger unconsciously tracing the line along his back and feeling surprise flood him to find that Changbin was right. 

“It’s never strange to me. They have their placements for a reason.” He murmured and something must’ve given away his discomfort because Changbin immediately backtracked. 

“Not in a bad way! But, just the placement of it feels almost specific. Like I’m there to support you through everything.” The admittance made him blush, opting to tilt across the middle seat so that his head could rest on his shoulder.

“I don’t think you’re far off with that assessment, hyung. Especially after the elimination. I was breaking apart and you were ready to make sure I knew that you would be there, even if Chan hadn’t been able to keep us together.” Felix hated talking about that time. It was something they all avoided if they could, but in these moments, it was safer to whisper, like a secret.

One he could share with Changbin.

“I can forgive a lot of things, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for putting us through that. I never want to feel that way again.” He murmured, leaning his head atop Felix's.

“I still get nightmares sometimes.” The admittance was something Felix had been toying with. He didn’t want the others to feel guilty, but Chan had been getting increasingly worried about how frequent these nightmares were becoming and in all honesty, so was he.

Changbin stiffened at that.

“Nightmares?” 

“Our strings turn black.” 

He made a noise, something he couldn’t really distinguish, but as the car pulled to a stop outside the dorms, Changbin unbuckled himself and pulled Felix into a hug that he easily sank into. 

“I know you go to Chan-hyung, but you can come to me too. You should never go through that alone, Yongbok.” The words were muffled, but Felix knew and understood what wasn’t being said.

He had a safe place with him.

“Thank you.” 

-✰-

Felix knew it was coming as Hyunjin settled next to him, hands slipping into his own where their red strings lay.

“Is it ours?” The soft question seemed so loud in the silent apartment, but he knew it was his mind, making it feel so loud because it was something he was so unused to talking about, hiding.

“Do you worry because technically they don’t match?” He asked instead, eyes watching for any doubt.

“Only a little. Everyone else matches in some way, but ours doesn’t.” Felix heard it then, the traces of self-doubt, the worry that it wasn’t. He ignored the wave of annoyance in the face of his soulmate's doubt, instead interlocking their fingers and squeezing softly.

“When have we ever matched?” The tone was kind, a gentle prompt to remember who they were as individuals.

“The rings.” Came the first and most obvious answer, and Felix laughed, unable to stop the smile from remaining on his lips as they readjusted themselves so he was tucked under Hyunjin’s arm, their fingers still linked together. Carefully, he tilted his head pressing his forehead against the others cheek, content to stay there in peace.

“Think about it, Jinnie.”

They remained in silence for a little bit longer, slow steady breaths being the only sound accompanying his thoughts.

“How?” Finally came the question and Felix shrugged.

“We’re alike in so many ways but fundamentally, we are our own persons. And I think our bond reflects that. I don’t care that we don’t match because the day you gave me those rings and put them on, unknowing of exactly what you’d done, I knew that your heart somehow knew.” He whispered. Hyunjin leaned against him, not quite pushing back, but enough pressure to convey the affection, the thanks.

“What did you do after that?”  He asked and Felix felt his face grow warm.

“I cried that night because it was an unintentional acknowledgment on your part. I could see the string tying us together and I knew you couldn’t , but you still put our rings on the fingers that have linked us together. I nearly told you all then, but then-”

He pulled his head back to see the look on Hyunjin’s face sour.

“People will never understand the love you have for us Yongbokkie, but we do.”

Neither made a move to leave or willingly dislodge the other. Felix felt like his heart was going to burst from the love he was feeling, but in the same beat it was settled.

-✰-

They were all tired, it had been an ache to spend most of the day travelling. Doubly so with it being Jisung’s birthday. They’d been able to have a small party before they’d left, to celebrate it and whilst it still was something, he felt that it wasn’t enough.

When they arrived at the hotel and their managers were telling them it was two to a room, Felix wrapped his hand around Jisung’s wrist and glared at the others, daring them to say that he couldn’t partner with him.

Even Minho didn’t argue with the look he gave, only rolling his eyes as the others laughed and agreed, quietly wishing him a soft happy birthday as they split off for their rooms.

“Possessive much?” He teased and Felix rolled his eyes before smiling.

“Birthday twins.” He shrugged in response and there was a loud laugh as they entered the room. 

Quietly they both got showered and changed, knowing that going out exploring wasn’t going to be allowed, but that wouldn’t stop Felix from getting what he wanted. Once he was changed, he explained that he’d be back, needed to grab something and he sent a text to his manager outlining what he wanted to do. It was still late, but he knew that there were a few stores still open.

It was simple and quick, finding a store and getting a small cake with a candle, and he was back in the room within the thirty minutes he’d promised.

Jisung was still in the shower, so he took the chance to set up the cake with a single candle, waiting until the shower turned off and he counted down in his head.

Another ten minutes before the door began to open so he lit the candle, a wide but tired smile on his face as Jisung stopped in his tracks upon seeing him with the cake.

“Happy birthday Jisung-ah!” 

There was a moment where he didn’t move, but Felix could see there were tears in his eyes before he took in a deep breath and stepped closer, leaning over to blow out the candle.

“You didn’t have to do this Yongbok-ah.” He murmured as he climbed onto the bed, settling himself cross legged so their knees touched. He scoffed.

“It’s shit travelling on your birthday. We couldn’t celebrate it properly and your gift is still in the dorm. I wanted you to have something.” Jisung laughed wetly, glancing at the time as the day ticked over into midnight. 

He lit the candle once more, his hands taking hold of the cake and holding it out towards him.

“It’s only fair then. Happy birthday Yongbok-ah.” Felix smiled, his heart warm before blowing out the candle.

“See, birthday twins.” He stated and both of them laughed before Jisung paused, a look of wonder as his hand drifted to his hip before reaching out to touch the space on Felix’s hip where the red line lay.

“That’s our bond, isn’t it? On our hips?” He breathed and Felix took a second before nodding. “Stays call us the sunshine twins, attached at the hip.” This startled a laugh from both of them and it was like a switch flipped as affection surged in his heart.

“Can’t deny the twin allegations now, hips don’t lie Jisungie.” Felix teased and realised his mistake just as Jisung capitalised on it.

“ I’m on tonight, you know my hips don’t lie and I’m starting to feel it’s right. All the attraction, the attention, don’t you see baby, this is perfection. ” He sang, moving to kneel up and shake his hips in a poor imitation. There was no holding in the laughter as he moved the cake to the nightstand, immediately pushing him away when he leaned over trying to give him a kiss.

“Can’t wait to make Minho jealous with this in the morning.” Both of them broke into laughter as Jisung wrapped him in a hug instead, falling back onto the bed and pulling Felix with him.

“He can stay jealous. We’re birthday twins and hip twins now. Thank you.” His voice was much softer and he couldn’t help but squeeze him tight in return.

“Any time.”

-✰-

It didn’t escape Felix’s notice how Chan took opportunities to check in on him.

Today’s check in was prompted by Seungmin’s warning to Chan that they were going to attempt cooking together again.

Attempt had been the correct word from Seungmin, or at least Felix thought it was because so far it was a disaster long before Chan arrived.

“Yah! Seungmin-ah!” He deftly avoided the splash of hot oil, glaring at his soulmate who wore a sheepish look on his face as he realised his mistake. 

Jeongin laughed.

“Do you need to get cooking classes from Minho-hyung, Seungmin?” They youngest did not hesitate with the teasing as Felix cleaned up the oil spill as best he could before returning his attention to the chopped vegetables that had been carelessly thrown in.

Part of him was glad that Minho was currently out for the day with Jisung and Changbin, because whilst he would not raise his voice, the disappointed look was even worse when it came from him.

He was still tempted to text his hyung, even if it got him into trouble as well.

There was a knock on the door before they saw Chan stepping in and he couldn’t help but let his annoyance slip away for a moment as he smiled brightly. The grin he got back kept his annoyance at bay as he returned his attention to the pan, slapping Seungmin’s hands away from the handle when he tried to help again.

“And what are the three musketeers up to today?” 

He wasn’t sure what made it click. If it was Chan-hyung’s casual way of asking about the three of them or the simple statement that acknowledged the chaos the three of them often caused. 

But it struck him like a bolt of lightning.

Of course they’d be his ties that were on his elbows. One above and one below. 

Immediately he turned off the food, ignoring the protests from both of them as Chan watched on curiously. 

“Felix, what are you doing?” Jeongin demanded, but he said nothing as he rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, doing the same to Seungmin and then his own. 

He stared at the lines before realising, linking the arm that the line above Jeongin’s elbow with Seungmin’s one where the line was below. 

He then hooked his own that was below with Seungmin’s free arm and the one that was above with Jeongin’s and he finally understood it, feeling a mixture of shock and awe as he stared at the lines, how they crossed over each other from where their arms were linked.

“How did I not realise?” He whispered, more to himself than anything. But he knew he was going to get an answer he didn’t want and Seungmin didn’t disappoint.

“Did it really take you this long to figure it out?” Felix could feel his face grow warm as he used his elbow to dig into the others’ side, Jeongin laughing as he did so.

“Can you not ruin a nice moment for us?” The complaint was good natured, but there was an abashed look on his soulmate's face, cheeks pink. Felix missed the look of fondness on his hyung’s face.

“It’s nice to see him pick on someone his own age for once.” Chan commented, reminding all three of them of their visitor and Seungmin immediately disengaged, pulling his arms free to go and wrap around Chan’s head instead.

“That’s because if I keep using my skills on you, it’ll send you to an early grave old man.” The three of them laughed as their hyung groaned, patting the arms that were wrapped around his head.

“Thank you for being so thoughtful Minnie. Now, are you going to let Yongbok cook or do I need to call Minho?” 

This prompted Felix to return his attention back to the stove, turning the heat on once more as Seungmin took a seat and Jeongin stood next to him, ready to help as they began to prepare the noodles.

Felix couldn’t be annoyed at his younger soulmates, nor could he get rid of the smile that settled on his face as they continued to cook, setting down for a quiet meal together with their hyung. 

It seemed that the voices that lurked in his mind were getting quieter with each admittance, each acceptance from his soulmates. 

-✰-

His anxiety had been getting bad, he knew that much.

Constantly on edge, not sleeping well and making simple mistakes.

After one bad rehearsal with Minho, he found himself close to tears as he sat against the mirror, head tilted back, and eyes closed as the music was switched off.

“We’re done for today, Yongbok. Let’s go.” He knew better than to ignore his hyung but there was a small part of him that needed to process, needed to understand where he’d gone wrong. A larger part protested finishing when they still had practice time.

“I can do more, I just need to see what’s going wrong.” He muttered, unable to meet Minho’s eyes.

“No.”

The tone was sterner than he expected and his heart jumped, head snapping up, eyes wide as a shot of fear rushed down his spine. He was beginning to hate these reactions as he took in the relaxed stance and soft gaze and his heart began to slow down.

“You’re overworking yourself, Yongbok. We’re done today and for the next few days. Now come on, I’m treating you to dinner for once.” It took him a second as Minho headed out of the practice room, his mind catching up thirty seconds later and he scrambled to get up and grab his stuff, running from the room to catch up with his soulmate who was already down the hallway.

“Did you just say you’re treating me to dinner?” 

“Are you questioning your elder?” There was a moment and Felix recoiled as if he’d been slapped. 

Minho took notice immediately and stopped, his hands resting on his shoulders, holding him in place.

“This is why I’m taking you out for food, Yongbok. I just want to spend time with my soulmate, is that really hard to believe?” 

A wave of guilt flooded him, his cheeks growing warm as it sunk in what had just happened. Hands cradled his face and he flinched. 

“Sorry.” He whispered and Minho shushed him gently.

“You have nothing to apologise for. Our stupid soulmates however, owe you a very big apology. Why are you so anxious, Yongbok?” And suddenly he was transported to that night where he had held him as he shattered to pieces, keeping him together so they could put him back piece by piece.

“I feel like they doubt the bond, the truth that rings sometimes. It feels like something is pushing me to make sure that they’re happy, cared for.” 

“And in turn you’re neglecting yourself.” Minho stated, and even though there was no disappointment, Felix couldn’t help but feel like he’d failed at something.

“I eat and drink!” He protested and Minho raised an eyebrow at him.

“You know that is not what I meant.” The tone was steady and even though it had not raised an inch, he couldn’t help but feel chastised, almost like a child. 

“I know, but I don’t know what else to do.” He whispered and Minho let go of his face, pulling him close and Felix instinctively wrapped his arms around him, sinking into the warmth offered to him.

“You let us take care of you. More specifically, you let me take care of you since the other soulmates don’t realise you’re overworking yourself to burnout.” And there it was.

He’d neglected himself in favour of making sure the others were okay, that they didn’t doubt the bonds that they shared. 

He took in a slow deep breath as gentle hands moved up and down his back slowly.

“Thank you, hyung.” He whispered and Minho’s arms tightened around him in response.

“You can thank me later when I tell Chan-hyung that I’m stealing you for a few days.” This earned a small smile and Felix watched a flicker of relief cross his soulmate's eyes.

Had he really been that bad?

They didn’t have to go far to get the groceries. It was clear that he was planning on just feeding the two of them from what he was getting and whilst it made him feel uneasy being away from the others, even briefly, he knew it was to settle his own nerves that had sprung up in the wake of everyone figuring out how they connected to him.

When they returned, there was a brief second of uncertainty, his mind pushing to offer help with something. Then it disappeared.

“Right, sit on the couch and I’m cooking some tteokbokki.” Minho ushered him into the living room and gave him no chance to even offer his help.

Part of Felix felt hurt at that, unwilling to be put to the side. 

“Are you sure hyung?” His voice was much softer, hesitant. There was a second where an understanding seemed to be reached between the two of them and his hyung pursed his lips together.

“You can stir. Do anything else and I’ll tie you to the seat so you can’t move.” The threat was loud and clear to Felix, knowing that Minho would follow through with it if he did anything other than what he was instructed.

He needed to actually have a break.

Surprisingly, just doing the stirring was nice, his mind drifting to their other soulmates as the sound of a knife slicing added to the background noise, going over what may have caused this, his own frustrations.

“Are you ready to talk, Yongbok?” The question made his head turn in surprise, taking in Minho who wasn’t even looking at him.

“About what?” Even he winced at the look he got in return for the cheek.

“I’ll let that slide.” 

“Sorry hyung.” He paused before taking a slow deep breath. “I feel like you all doubt me.” 

It was better to rip the band aid off. 

Minho stared at him in shock and he found his gaze falling to the cooking food, unwilling to meet his stare now that he’s opened the can of worms that were his thoughts.

“What has pulled this thought to the front?” It was certainly a more careful question, one which didn’t give away if he was angry or upset. Felix tried not to cringe at the following silence, but he knew he couldn’t say that and at least not give him an explanation.

“They all ask me if it’s our spot, our placement. But then even when I say yes, I hear the doubt, the small voices saying I shouldn’t be part of it.” He admitted and glanced up. 

Minho’s face looked, for the lack of a better word, thunderous.

“You are quite literally our beating heart, Yongbok.” There was no anger in his words, but they were sharp, determined. He only just stopped the flinch. 

“It feels like I have to prove myself.” He whispered, and Minho stepped over, turning the stove off before his hands curled around his face, forcing him to meet his eyes.

“You've lived a lonely life, Yongbok. You knew of us before you knew what soulmates were. You watched us grow together and nearly broke because we were taken from you. Your mind will whisper that you have to prove yourself to us, but you don’t.” The honesty from him caught Felix off guard but there was still that little voice.

They only love you for what you bring, not who you are.

It was almost like Minho could read his mind, read the words in his soul that still echoed around. 

“Do you doubt my words? My actions? I cannot help when I take care of you because I was taught that what you have is a gift, you know this. But for you I’d do this every time. You’re ours, mine , and nothing will take that away from us. Let me care for you how I want to, don’t worry about the others. It’s your turn to be reassured now.”

He didn’t try to stop himself as he surged forwards, closing the distance and Minho didn’t attempt to stop him, arms wrapping around him tightly, taking him back to that first night before he’d told them everything.

His hyung had him, he was safe.

“Thank you.” He whispered. Nothing else needed to be said.

It was later after dinner had been cooked and they were tidying the clean dishes away that Minho held up his phone to Felix with a look that was far too smug to be on his face for what they were doing.

“I’m messaging Chan-hyung. ‘ I’ve stolen the baby, ” He began and Felix couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter from escaping him, “ I am not available for the next three days. If you need me, simply suffer. ’ And sent.” 

He looked so proud of himself and Felix’s sides were hurting from how hard he was laughing as he bent over, clutching his stomach.

“They’re-gonna-be-so-annoyed.” He gasped out between his giggles, using the counter to try and hold himself up, but as he looked at Minho, his composure slipped and another round of giggles escaped.

“I’m also telling Chan I made you laugh.” He sounded too smug, but he was able to finally take a breath, grinning at his hyung. 

It was thirty seconds later when another message came through and Minho paused, a frown of concentration crossing his features as he tapped away at his phone before putting it away, a little smile on his lips as he gestured for Felix to follow him and they settled on the couch for the evening, his feet being pulled into the elders lap.

“What did you do?” Felix asked with a grin and he hesitated before unlocking his phone and tapping through before putting it in front of him.

It was a text thread with Chan-hyung and he nearly choked on his laughter.

‘ You need to tell the other unruly children to leave him alone. The second I tell them he’s gotten bad they’ll bombard him. ’

‘ Any of you interrupt Yongbok or myself, I will revoke Yongbok privileges from all of you. ’

“So not above using me as a weapon then?” He asked casually and Minho laughed as he turned on the TV, scrolling through to find a film for both of them to settle and watch. 

“I will do everything to ensure that you’re happy, safe and healthy. If that means threatening them to stay away then I’ll do it.” He shrugged and his heart lifted at the feeling.

He could only hope this would help ease the voice of self-doubt that lurked in his mind.

-✰-

It was over time that the voices finally quietened down to a point where he didn’t even think twice if it whispered in his head the thread of doubt.

More often than not, the others would allow him skinship, the easiest form of affection to reassure that they were there but to stop the doubt in its tracks. 

It slowly became part of their routine to find time so that Felix could paint their strings on them. It was done when they needed reassurance, unlike Felix who could see the condition of the strings, but on those evenings where they just wanted to see those that were linked, that loved so freely. And he always obliged because nothing was better for him than for them to see his own reassurance that they were all soulmates and they were still as interlinked.

They began to help him more with the painting and soon they had mastered their own ties of fate, each of them able to paint their own with startling accuracy. It became a game to start painting each other correctly, something Felix was banned from and Hyunjin was no longer allowed to participate in because he’d gotten too good at it, much to the annoyance of the others who were still learning. 

Felix often found himself whispering to his younger self he’d found all of them, that he would know of such a love that is so intense that it leaves him breathless and wrapped in a never-ending warmth. 

Sometimes on the clear nights, wherever in the world he was, he would whisper to the stars how much he loved them back, how it did not compare to what he used to dream of as a child. His mum had always been right and he could see it so clearly, his future mapped out with his soulmates.

It was when Hyunjin gifted him a canvas filled with watercolour bodies that had red lines linked between them, no explanations needed, did he really consider that his heart was truly safe with them and no matter what, they’d never leave him.