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"So James, when are you going to tell Harry about who his mum really is?"
Everyone at the Potters' residence in Godric's Hollow turned to look at Sirius, who was leaning back against the counter in their kitchen. Remus stood next to him, holding a cup of tea. "Sirius?" he asked calmly. "Respectfully, what the fuck are you on about?"
Sirius merely shrugged. "Black." Lily came storming up to him, baby Harry in hand. "What the fuck do you mean 'who his mum really is?'" Her emerald eyes glared dangerously at him. "Potter, back me up here," she said icily.
James walked over and put his hand on Lily's shoulder. "Lily, you know I love you, right?" he said gently.
"Yes..." she said, unsure of what words were about to come out of his mouth next. All she knew was that she was not afraid to shove Harry into Remus' arms so that she could wallop his arse into last year so he could watch her push Harry out again. "Continue."
"Well..."
"It's me," Sirius interrupted. "I'm his true mum."
Both Remus and Lily's mouth dropped open. Turns out that she would have to find someone else to give Harry to. "Potter..."
"Black." Remus said shortly. "What do you mean you're Harry's mum."
Sirius took a deep breath, and waltzed over to where James stood. "Oh, it was a long time ago," he began dramatically. "It was just one night..."
"But it was maddening. The passion between us wizards, why, was-"
"Oh shut up, both of you," Lily said, cutting James off before he could begin spouting off nonsense about him and Sirius. "Black couldn't handle pushing a baby out of him, if he really was Harry's mum, we would have heard him complain about the pain every minute since last July 31st."
Sirius put a hand to his chest, wounded. "Why Evans, after everything I've done for you."
"Potter, actually," James said with a grin. He sauntered over to where she stood and wrapped his arms around her.
"You're changing Harry's diapers until Christmas," she said. She leaned back into his embrace, gently rocking Harry in her arms. "And you're lucky it's not until his next birthday."
"Why not make Sirius do it?" James complained. "He's the one that started this."
Sirius smirked. "Oh really? You're the one that brought it up one afternoon while helping me and Remus move into our flat."
"Well maybe I should kick you out of your flat so you can move in with James," Lily said. "I'm sure Remus is much more pleasant than either of you."
"Speaking of Remus," James said, quickly changing the subject. "He's been eerily quiet."
Remus looked up. He looked directly at Sirius, trying to hide a small grin. "This isn't like the muggle world, you know. If you want to be a mum that bad..."
Sirius went pale.