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You knew.
You knew you were ordinary, insignificant, barely a sparkle amidst the rest of the star-covered night sky.
And you accepted it. You knew it, and you knew that you knew it.
Yet you still foolishly hoped - that he might one day, by chance, glance up and smile at you, admiring the little light you emit for what it is.
He doesn't.
You should've known.
Your favourite people from the video game coming into real life was the best surprise you could ever have gotten. At least, you thought so then.
Isekai or reverse isekai, whatever it's called, you didn't care anymore. They're here, is all you thought, and all that mattered. They're here, and it's real.
Finally, you wouldn't be daydreaming about non-existent people, about things that never related to reality. They. Were. Here. Your favourite, favourite game characters. Here. On Earth. Just a few meters in front of you.
The smile on your face grew, your eyes widened with sparkle and excitement - you couldn't wait for the first eye contact you made with them --
But before it happens, countless people rush forward to them, to him. Countless people much bolder than you and willing to risk utter humiliation if it meant attention and being seen by their idols. And just like that, they disappeared amonst the crowd, and you stand alone, at the side.
For the first time ever, you felt, with your heart and your whole physical being, the unmeasurable distance between you and him.
***
Somehow your friend managed to get his attention. You had to admit - although unwillingly, and you berate yourself and bash yourself internally hard for being unwilling instead of happy for her - that her personality was amazing. She was like the star - bright, attention-grabbing, but modest and not over-the-top all the same.
She was the main character who got her happy ending.
And she was your friend, and you knew, and you know you should be happy for her. You're friends! She likes him too, but that shouldn't change anything between the two of you.... right?
You were half-glad she invited you to eat out with him, her, and another of your friend. But really, his attention barely turned to you.
You racked your brain - what could you say? What would be a nice, smart thing to say?
But your friend was ahead of you, anyways.
You watched as his lips curled up at your friend's remark. You watched as he spared a smile just for her, his gaze gentle, interested.
You wish you could shout to him how much you liked him, could he give you a chance?
But you're not like that.
So instead, you bury your face into your bowl and eat what now tastes like acid and ash on your tongue.
And berate yourself again for not feeling much gratefulness towards your friend still.
***
You think he probably doesn't know you exist.
You're just a passing character, passing blur in the background.
You draw him, write about him, do things that he liked, and hoped that maybe he'd catch sight of them and grow interest.
But he never does. I mean, why would he?
And as the days pass by, your realise, oh.
He'd never notice you. Maybe for your entire lifetime, he'd never, ever turn a single glance your way.
***
At home, you run to your bedroom. Tears streaked your face but they were laughably insignificant compared to the dull, relentless, agonising ache in your heart.
You just wished he never came at all. You just wished you could hide from this. You just wished you could teleport somewhere far, far away. Away from all this mess.
You wished.