Archive of Our Own

Things had been tough on Sae-byeok for a while.

She had enrolled in a university a year ago and had recently gotten a job at a nearby gas station to be able to pay off her loans and rent. The stress of studying was piling up and she was nowhere near getting her brother, Cheol, out of the youth home he was assigned to since they had escaped North Korea. On top of that, things hadn’t been going too well with her girlfriend, Ji-yeong.

It was almost two in the morning as she leaned against the counter playing games on her phone as she waited for her shift to end. The only people who ever bothered to come in were junkies or men who worked late and got drunk enough to miss the final trains of the night, so she wasn’t too concerned about paying full attention. 

Someone walked into the store and went into the drinks aisle as she continued to play her game, advancing her character to another round of the survival match to win the big sum of coins at the end. Just as she was about to pass onto the next match, her phone bleeped and died. She sighed and leaned back, looking to the side of the booth for a charger. 

She plugged her phone in, having to struggle for a few seconds due to her phone being old and the port slightly damaged, before standing back up and coming eye to eye with the customer that had walked in prior.

He had hair that reached about his chin with a tattoo of a snake going up from his neck to his jaw with a menacing look on his face. He placed a bottle of soju on the counter and waited for Sae-byeok to ring it up. Her eyes slightly widened at the gang leader she once worked for, hoping he wouldn’t recognise her. Thankfully, her hair had half covered her face and the lights in the cashier booth were hardly bright. 

As she swiped the soju against the scanner, she saw him lean forward to look at her from the corner of her eye.

“Sae-byeok.” He said, his voice strangely calm.

She stared at the scanner for a second before turning to look at him.

“It is you.” He leaned back. “Thought I’d never see you again after you stole half my money and ran for it.” His voice darkened.

She almost snapped back at him but decided to stay calm. “I’m going to need to see some identification.” She said as she scanned the item and tried to look away from him. 

Deok-su scoffed. “Seriously? You gonna rob me of my money, run and then ask me for some identification like you’re not the worthless traitor you are? Just ring it up.” 

“I need some sort of identification to be able to sell you the item. ID, passport or driver's license are all acceptable.” She repeated, hoping he would just leave her alone- though it was highly unlikely. 

“Listen, you little runt.” He stepped closer to the counter. “I don’t have any of that. You want to get smart with me again, huh? You know how fucking old I am, now ring it up.”  

“I can’t ring the item up unless I see some ID.” Okay, Sae-byeok was trying to be a little annoying about it, but she really couldn’t get the pay sign up unless she swiped his ID. As much as she liked pissing Deok-su off over the years, right now she just wanted him out. She was surprised he hadn’t pulled her out the booth and shot her right there for what she had done to him three years ago. 

“What the fuck? Do I look like a kid trying to snag some alcohol for a middle school party right now? Just ring up the soju before I send you flying back to the North, traitor.” The man snapped, placing his hand on the counter.

Sae-byeok didn’t blink, nor did she move. She wasn’t as scared as she could’ve been, she had always managed to work under high pressure environments. When she worked for Deok-su, she was able to handle him at his worst. She had dealt with this. He wasn’t going to do anything she couldn’t get out of. She didn’t even think he would lay a finger on her. Surely, after two years, he was somewhat over it.

“I can’t do that.”

Deok-su lunged forward and grabbed her shirt, pulling her forward through the counter’s window. She let out a small noise of surprise as she was pulled inches away from his face. 

Okay. Maybe he wasn’t over it.

“You better let me buy the soju before I trash you and your little store, runt.” 

Sae-byeok’s initial surprise swept away and her usual expressionless face came back. Her torso was being pressed hard into the counter as her hands held it to keep herself from being flung out. 

““There are cameras all around this store,” She said calmly, blinking once. “You really want to be caught out here beating up a kid over a bottle of soju? How would the police like that? Actually, how would your boss like that?” She smirked at the last part, remembering how Deok-su’s boss had almost killed him for the mistakes he made years ago. 

He stared at her, his grip on her shirt tight, face red. Sae-byeok wanted to laugh but her stomach pressed into the material of the counter so hard she felt her organs were being split into two. He looked up to the corner of the store in which a camera was actively recording him. 

“I still have contacts. You want me to pass the message around of you being punked by some little girl? You want to go down for that, huh, tough guy?” 

“They won’t know shit if I killed you right here and now-”

“And what about the police who’d be alerted by those cameras, huh? You think they care if I’m dead or not? They’d only care about putting you behind bars. What’s the benefit here, Deok-su?” 

Sae-byeok had always been smart with her words. People either loved or hated it, but no one could ever say it was a disadvantage to her. Except, maybe, her girlfriend who often berated her for sometimes being too smart with her mouth and pissing the wrong people off causing her to deal with difficult consequences.

But, to her surprise, his grip loosened and she was dropped back inside the booth. He was breathing hard and shaking his head, laughing a little. “Don’t think this is over, Sae-byeok. You robbed me of my money, my manhood and ran with it that day. You’ll fucking pay for your betrayal.” 

She doesn’t say anything as she watches him click his tongue as he backs away from the counter and walks outside the station. 

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and rubbed the back of her neck in which her shirt had pushed into and sighed as her other hand touched her stomach. She shook her head and glanced at the clock on the wall strike three in the morning, signalling the end of her shift. Thank fucking god. 

She sighed, grateful to finally head home to Ji-yeong, and packed her things. She unplugged her phone and frowned as she realised it hadn’t charged, the phone had been knocked over while she had been pulled through the booth window and the angle of the wire changed. 

“Fucking jerk.” She mumbled under her breath as she pocketed her phone. Atleast she was only about twenty away from her place, it would just be that she wouldn’t be able to listen to music at all. 

She was really looking forward to wallowing over some blues while driving. It was one of her favourite things to do. Mood sour, she closed the booth and walked out of the store, closing the lights and locking the door. 

As she walked toward her car, someone quickly walked up to her and shoved her to the ground. Her side hit the concrete, her shoulder immediately taking in all the contact and she quickly turned to look at who pushed her. 

She frowned as she saw Deok-su standing above her, swaying slightly. “Happy to see me, runt?” 

Sae-byeok slid slightly away, not saying a word. He grabbed her by her leg and dragged her closer to him in a swift motion and she grunted as her arm scraped against the rough road. 

He picked her up by her arms so she was standing and facing him. She glared at him and he made an ugly face, critical.

“Ah, I hate when you look at me like that. Always, no matter what, you always looked at me like that. I hated it. Where’s the respect, huh?” He growled, clenching her arms.

“Pricks like you don’t get respect, asshole.” She said, brows furrowed. 

“I oughta punch that look off your face, you know?” He snarled, clutching her even harder, his nails digging into her skin. After a beat, he smirked. “Maybe I should.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him with a look of defiance. She suddenly made a move to escape, struggling to get out of his arms but he only grabbed her harder. As much training Sae-byeok had done over the years, a gangster like Deok-su could easily overpower her after a surprise attack. 

“...If you apologise I’ll let this whole thing go.”

“What, for not giving you soju? Are you ten years old or something?”

“For everything. For taking half a million from me, the soju and running away from the gang. Get down on your knees and plead for my forgiveness and I’ll consider sparing your pretty little face here.” He smiled menacingly, bringing her closer to his face. 

“I didn’t run, I went independent. ” She corrected him. She let a second pass before smirking, a laugh escaping her lips. “If you think I’m going to do all that you might as well think I’m going to lick your shoes too.”

“That would be beneficial to your cause.” He replied, his nails piercing her skin. 

Sae-byeok wanted to roll her eyes at his stupidity and inability to understand sarcasm. She thought about spitting in his face, but she had left that attitude- some of it- behind when she had met Ji-yeong. She owed it to her not to die tonight. 

“You gonna apologise or what?” 

But she also owed it to herself not to be a pussy. 

“Over my dead fucking body.” She grinned at him before his fist met her cheek so hard she fell onto the ground, her front body slamming into the concrete. 

She gasped as she felt her mouth taste of iron, her hand pressing into the concrete to stand back up. As she did, she swung at Deok-su, hitting his jaw. As he turned, Sae-byeok went for another hit before going to her car and getting the hell out of there. God knew she needed to show Deok-su she still had that strength to beat him down. However, when Sae-byeok swung again, Deok-su grabbed her arm and twisted, using his leg to knock her down. As she landed back into the concrete he kicked into her stomach, hard. 

She groaned out as she rolled onto her back and tried to breathe right, her side burning . 

“This is fucking great.” Deok-su yelled, cheering. “Finally, after all these years, I can do whatever I want to you. There may be cameras inside that store, runt, but there aren’t any out here.”

He slammed his foot into her waist once, causing her to roll onto her side and yell out in pain. Her side ached and she felt her body convulse. 

“What? No more fighting back?” He laughed as he walked around her. He used his foot to push her shoulder slightly back to see her face. “Guess you’ve gone soft.”

He pushed off her shoulder and kicked her in her abdomen with all his force, causing her to lose her breath and start heaving. Deok-su didn’t give her a break though. He pushed her onto her back. 

“Are you going to apologise now?”

“You going to let me fuck your mother?” She replied, laughing a little as she caught her breath. She couldn’t help herself. She had been told over the years she had some sort of laughing problem, always letting a smile slip or a mocking laugh when pickpocketing and tricking others went her way. Even when she and Ji-yeong fought she wouldn’t be able to hold back her laugh even though it wasn’t exactly all that funny. 

Deok-su’s face darkened before he let out a smile of his own. “You still sensitive at your side right here?” He asked, pointing at her side in which she had gotten stabbed with a shard of glass three years ago. The glass had dug so deep into her side it had never healed right. 

Despite the pain in her chest and stomach, she managed to glare at him. To her dismay, he just laughed and grabbed a small rock from the side.

“I would kill you right here but… making you suffer the long term would be even better. Seems like the right amount of punishment right? I mean, for now, of course. I’ll never be done getting my revenge until you’re dead.”

Sae-byeok took steady breaths as she clutched her stomach. 

“Ah, wipe that look off your face!” He yelled, frustration hitting him and causing him to slam his other fist into her jaw once again.

Now, Sae-byeok was thoroughly bleeding from her mouth. She tasted iron all over and some blood dribbled down her lips. The pain was unbearable, scorching her insides. Her jaw hurt . 

“Now, for the final step.” He grinned as he took the rock and aimed it at the side in which the stabbing had happened. 

She could barely register what he was doing until he actually did. He slammed the rock repeatedly into her side, causing her to writhe in pain. She didn’t scream. She refused to. Sae-byeok wouldn’t show her vulnerability. After a couple hits, he stopped and chucked the rock to the side. He stepped up and chuckled as he saw the state of her before stepping back.

“Out of giggles now, I see.” 

Sae-byeok wanted to retaliate, to say something that would show him she isn’t hurt or affected by his actions, but the pain flaring in her side knocked everything out of her. 

He leaned down and grabbed her jaw. “Sae-byeok, if I ever see you again, understand that will be the last time you walk this earth.” He grinned manically, the yellow of his teeth making Sae-byeok want to throw up.

As he continued to stare down at her, his disgusting hands on her jaw, she spat a bubble of blood onto his face, landing on his cheek. 

Deok-su merely shook his head and wiped it off. “Consider yourself lucky for getting off alive.” 

With that said, and a final kick to Sae-byeok’s abdomen, Deok-su stalked back to his car, got in and drove off. 

Sae-byeok turned to the side and spat out a mouthful of blood and heaved on the ground, her side glaring with pain. It felt like she had been shot in her side over and over again. She groaned into the road, her entire body on fire. 

After a few minutes of heaving and recovering, she coughed up some more blood and tried to stand. It was difficult, but Deok-su had spared her legs. She stood up and stumbled to her car, slamming her hands into the front of the car to steady herself. 

Despite feeling like her body was genuinely shutting down due to the pain, Sae-byeok didn’t cry. She hadn’t cried in a very long time. Actually, the only times she had come close to it was whenever she visited her brother at the youth home and he would ask her to bring him home. Other than that, she never came close to it. 

She felt deep frustration though. She slammed her hand into the car before entering the drivers side and sitting down. She started the car and stood in the lot for a while, her hands gripping the wheel as she stared straight ahead, registering what had just happened. 

Weak. She felt weak. She felt frail and like… like a girl . Like a small little girl who couldn’t defend herself. Of course she could defend herself. When she was stabbed and got the side of her neck sliced she fought hard. When she stole that money, she fought off six of Deok-su’s guards and ran. 

Her practice was off. She had gotten soft since then. Since Ji-yeong. Maybe that had built a little resentment in her, not toward Ji-yeong, but to herself. And maybe that’s also why the two had been rocky for the last two months. 

She slammed her hands against the wheel a couple times and tried not to scream. She stopped midway as her side flared with pain and she leaned her forehead against the wheel. She wanted to find Deok-su and beat him up until he was pleading for his life. She hated this feeling. She hated where she was at in life, that she had become what she was. A broke orphan, an older sister who couldn’t help her brother, a terrible and ungrateful girlfriend.

What good was there to anything?

“Now is not the time to be dramatic.” She spoke lowly to herself, shutting her thoughts down. She had to get home to Ji-yeong. What was she doing throwing a tantrum in her car like a spoiled brat?

She picked up her phone to play some music before remembering it had died. She should’ve just stolen Deok-su’s while he was busy beating her up. Stupid. 

She started to drive. The car rolled over the concrete, the wheels rolling over the puddle of blood Sae-byeok had spat out before turning onto the open road and disappearing. 

The car ride was filled with silence. 

Sae-byeok hated it. She didn’t usually mind being in the quiet that much, it was comforting. She wasn’t one for loud spaces and crowded streets, she always preferred quiet, secluded areas. This time though, she had twenty minutes to wallow over being humiliated by Deok-su and the rest of her life going to shit. 

Once she had reached her apartment building, Sae-byeok, as quietly as she could, entered her and Jii-yeong’s apartment. She slowly took off her coat and put it up, noting that the lights were off which meant that the shorter was asleep. She felt a little relieved, she wouldn’t want Ji-yeong hounding her with questions and them getting into another one of their arguments. Part of her wished that she could just hug Ji-yeong and feel better, but neither really were in the space or mindset to want to do so. 

She slipped out of her shoes and walked into the kitchen, filling up some water in a dirty coffee cup that had been left earlier. She didn’t think about washing it, her lips were chapped and her tongue tasted of blood. 

“You didn’t answer any of my calls.” A voice sounded behind her, making her jump with surprise and almost choking on her water.

“Way to almost kill me,” Sae-byeok joked. “My phone died.”

“You didn’t think to text me that before it did?” 

The taller sighed and placed the glass down, still not turning to look at her girlfriend. Her face was probably all bruised up and she could feel the blood around her mouth. 

“Sorry. Didn’t think of it.”

Wrong choice of words. She could have said ‘I didn’t care about you enough to text you’ and it would have had the same effect. 

Ji-yeong scoffs and steps closer to Sae-byeok. “Seriously? Wow, way to ruin the mood like, immediately. Typical.” 

Sae-byeok wanted to take what she said back, tell Ji-yeong that she hadn’t meant it and she was really sorry, and that she cared about her and didn’t want to fight. The pain in her abdomen and on her side was stopping her from doing so. Not to mention her ego was shattered to pieces from the previous encounter. She felt weak and vulnerable and she hated it. Ji-yeong laying into her right now wasn’t going to help anything.

“I’m sorry. It really isn’t a big deal, Ji.” 

“You work late into the night at some sketchy gas station half an hour from home and you expect me to take that? Seriously, Sae-byeok. You think I’m stupid to worry?”

Sae-byeok stays staring at the counter, her hands holding it for support. She felt like she was going to collapse in a matter of minutes. She could barely think. Barely think to reply to Ji-yeong and reassure her that she had every right to be worried and that they could just go to bed and sleep until late. 

“What, you can’t even look at me and talk?”

A beat of silence passed and she felt Ji-yeong directly behind her now. “Hey, look at me. Look at me when I’m talking.”

Sae-byeok felt herself twitch, her grip on the counter making her knuckles go white. She couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t face that shame. She couldn’t show Ji-yeong that she couldn’t hardly protect herself because that would mean she couldn’t protect Ji-yeong.

Ji-yeong steps to the side so that she can look at Sae-byeok, to which Sae-byeok swiftly turns her head away. The shorter frowned, sensing something wrong. “Byeok, what’s wrong? Look at me.”

Despite the softening tone and the nickname, the taller didn’t, glaring at the wall away from Ji-yeong. Her heart was hammering and she had broken out into a cold sweat. 

“Jesus, Sae-byeok! Can you just listen to me for once? God, it’s like anything and everything I say goes from one ear and out the next. You’re so impossible to deal with- the silent treatment? Really? How old are you, huh? To be playing these childrens games with me and being unreasonable?” Ji-yeong burst out, her voice raising. 

She was never one for patience. Hell, neither were. Especially in tense situations when it came to their egos and frustrations with each other. Sae-byeok was surprised that Ji-yeong hadn’t immediately lost her cool minutes ago. 

“It’s like you want me to do whatever you want all the time, like what I say and think doesn’t matter. What do you do during all those night shifts for your phone to die and for me to worry huh? Play games on your phone to ignore me, huh? Seriously, I can’t deal with this any longer and–” 

Ji-yeong’s rant was cut off when Sae-byeok turned to look at her. The moonlight shone onto her face, highlighting the sweat and bruises near her eye and cheek. The blood around her mouth was glistening and her trembling was accentuated. Ji-yeong stepped back, eyes wide. 

The two stared at each other, Ji-yeong’s chest rising rapidly and Sae-byeok expressionless despite the pain in her torso. 

“What,” Ji-yeong started, blinking rapidly and taking in her girlfriend’s bruised face. “happened?”

“Nothing you should worry about,” Sae-byeok spoke, her voice wavering as a sharp pain took her side. She held her side with her hand and kept looking at Ji-yeong, hoping to convey reassurance and affection through her eyes so she wouldn’t have to speak through the unbearable pain in her side. 

“What the fuck do you mean nothing I should worry about? Are you insane?” The shorter gasped out of disbelief. “What happened? Who did this? Did you fight with a drunkard again?”

“No, no.” 

“Then what? What’s gotten you so bruised up?”

Sae-byeok started to speak but then flinched and groaned under the pain. Ji-yeong noticed and provided Sae-byeok with some support by holding her upright. 

“Hey, hey. You’re okay,” She said, worry laced in her voice. “Let’s go to the bathroom, okay?”

She helped Sae-byeok get to their bathroom and sat her down on the edge of the bathtub, turning around to switch the lights on and open the medicine cabinet. She grabbed a few things before turning to Sae-byeok and stopping.

She looked worse in the light than in the dark. Her eye was red, pink hues underneath signalling the damaged blood vessels underneath. Same went for her cheek. Her mouth was bloody and she was trembling and staring straight ahead.

“Shit. You look worse than I thought.” 

“Thanks.” The taller sarcastically responded, to which the shorter dramatically rolled her eyes.

She stepped closer to her girlfriend. “I’m going to take care of some of this and then we can go to bed, okay? You’re going to want to rest.” She would have suggested going straight to the hospital but she knew Sae-byeok would protest as neither had the money to pay any sort of hospital bills. Thankfully, and unfortunately, Ji-yeong had had experience dealing with countless bruises all over her body and her mother when she was younger. 

Ji-yeong grabbed some disinfectant and started dabbing at Sae-byeok’s face. She then wet some cloth and cleaned around her mouth and lips. She stepped back as she was done and Sae-byeok showed her her roughed up hands, skinned by the concrete. Ji-yeong gulped with emotion and knelt down, spraying disinfectant and apologising as her girlfriend grunted in pain. She bandaged up both of Sae-byeok’s hands. 

“Done. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thank you.” Sae-Byeok sighed, the ache in her eye and hands fading ever so slightly. 

Ji-yeong took out some painkillers and filled a glass of water before bringing them to Sae-byeok’s lips and making her drink them. 

She then took Sae-byeok to their bedroom and helped her change into her nightwear. Sae-byeok thanked the gods that Ji-yeong hadn’t decided to turn the light on in the room else she would have seen the state of her torso. She couldn’t possibly burden her with more work.

They both got into bed and under the covers. Ji-yeong cuddled up to Sae-byeok, who was laying on her back, and held her hand. The two didn’t say anything. 

Honestly? Ji-yeong was still pissed that Sae-byeok hadn’t contacted her. Even if her phone died and even if she had stumbled back home a bloody mess, it didn’t mean that she wasn’t pissed. 

But she still stayed awake, watching and making sure Sae-byeok was breathing until she was fast asleep. 

⟡

When Ji-yeong woke up, Sae-byeok wasn’t next to her.

She reached out for the usual warmth she woke up to in the mornings and to her dismay she was met with cold space. She groggily opened her eyes and blinked as she saw the space.

She sat up, sighing. Sae-byeok usually woke up before Ji-yeong, both early risers but Sae-byeok being the earlier one. But she almost never got out of bed before Ji-yeong, opting to cuddle with her instead unless she had class or work. Lately, though, Sae-byeok had stopped doing so and started her day before Ji-yeong woke up. She felt her heart ache due to the distance that had been set between them most mornings but had gotten used to it since it started last month. Part of herself felt bad, knowing she had gotten particularly mad at Sae-byeok once for something she did one morning while they were still in bed. She may have been a tad too mean and said things she didn’t mean which is maybe why Sae-byeok doesn’t do what she used to anymore, thinking she was respecting Ji-yeong’s wishes.

Ji-yeong scanned the room before getting out and walking into the living room. She glanced at the kitchen and noticed something cooking. She walked over to it and tilted her head at the pancake burning on the stove. 

“Ah, you woke up before I could finish.” Sae-byeok’s voice sounded from behind her as she walked over and took the pan, her hands still bandaged. “Oh, yikes. Looks like my bathroom break was a little too long, huh?” 

Ji-yeong looked up at her, their height difference always causing her to crane her neck whenever she had to address Sae-byeok. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll eat this one and make you a new one.” She reassured her as she slipped the pancake onto a plate. 

Ji-yeong looked at Sae-byeok’s face, the bruises had formed into dark blue patches. She bit her lip as Sae-byeok walked around the kitchen and spotted the bottle of painkillers on the counter. A little over half was left, and she had opened the bottle yesterday night. 

Whatever, she thought, Sae-byeok could handle herself. Ji-yeong wasn’t one to get upset over these kinds of things anyway, her girlfriend wasn’t a small child that needed to be scolded. It did explain why she was so upbeat this morning compared to the previous. 

“How are you feeling?” Ji-yeong asked, crossing her arms as she watched Sae-byeok make a new pancake.

“A little sore. But I’m okay. Don’t worry. Please.” She said, looking at Ji-yeong as she said the last bit. 

“Oh, I’m not. You probably deserved it. Too bad your face’s all bashed up, though. Got no reason to stick around now.” Ji-yeong muttered, causing Sae-byeok to shoot her a smile before going back to the pancakes. “So… what happened anyway?”

Sae-byeok hesitated as she flipped the pancake and turned down the heat. “Ah, just some guy,” she lied, something she never ever did- especially to Ji-yeong. She was always one to stay truthful despite anything. But she couldn’t handle telling Ji-yeong she had fought with someone and lost , badly. So, she decided to tell half the truth. “You know how I have to ask for identification for any type of substance?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, so, that happened like an hour before closing. And he got really mad about it. Pretty much it.” 

Ji-yeong rolled her eyes at Sae-byeok’s nonchalance. “Are you sure you didn’t say anything to tick him off?” 

“Hey, I told him what the situation was and he decided to get rough. Trust me, I wanted to say something.” The taller slipped the pancake into another plate and handed it to Ji-yeong. “Your favourite. The maple’s over on the table.” 

“Fine. But just because you’re feeding me doesn’t mean anything.” Ji-yeong said, taking the plate. Sae-byeok nodded, a little discouraged. The shorter huffed and leaned up to give Sae-byeok a kiss on the cheek before heading to the living room. 

Sae-byeok smiled a little before grabbing her own plate and walking into the living room. She saw Ji-yeong had grabbed the syrup and sat on the couch instead with a blanket. She went ahead and sat next to her. 

The two ate in silence, enjoying eachothers company. Usually, back when things were better, mornings like these were spent in bed talking about Jeju island and mojitos or just silence and cuddles. Things were different now. Neither liked it. 

Despite that, the silence felt comfortable and nice. Sae-byeok thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Ji-yeong could exist next to her and that would be enough. No words needed. Nothing. They both enjoyed the fact, both being so forward and blunt with life and sometimes needing a break. 

They both put their plates down on the coffee table and a reality show was switched on and  playing on their small television. 

“Are you still really upset with me?” Sae-byeok asked.

“What do you think?”

“Yes?”

Ji-yeong sighed, knowing that she had to step up. “Well, yeah, I am upset. I’m upset that you took me being worried as nothing and that you walked in looking like you’d come back from fight club without telling me you were injured or even why. I’m upset we’ve been fighting and things have been hard, and I’m upset that sometimes I feel like you just don’t care about what happens to you.”

Sae-byeok looked down at the blanket and nodded. She was in a more understanding mood now, willing to hear Ji-yeong out. Over the last few weeks, exams were in session and Sae-byeok had to handle all her classes and work. Ji-yeong, too, had had exams and was balancing a job on her plate. They were tight on money. Both took the stress out on eachother. 

“I’m sorry. I understand you’re upset and I will make it up to you.” She replied, looking at Ji-yeong. Sae-byeok was never one for words unless worked up. Neither was Ji-yeong. It was all these small things that made them gravitate toward each other. It reminded her of how much she loved the shorter. 

Sae-Byeok didn’t have to say more. She was always true to her word and Ji-yeong knew that. A sentence from her weighed heavier than a monologue from someone else. It was enough.

“Then fine, I forgive you. For now.” Ji-yeong sighed.

“Thank you.”

Ji-yeong smiled at the response. Despite them having been together for a long while, she had always remained polite and stayed true to her manners. One wouldn’t exactly expect that from such a menacing looking girl. 

The shorter leaned forward and kissed Sae-byeok on the lips for a few seconds before pulling away. As she pulled away, Sae-byeok leaned forward, chasing her lips. The two looked at each other for a moment before Sae-byeok pulled Ji-yeong in and kissed her again- this time with more of a mission. 

The two started to makeout, and Ji-yeong pushed Sae-byeok onto her back so that she was straddling her. They kept going at it, Sae-byeok doing her signature lick of Ji-yeong’s lips and Ji-yeong being impatient and already tugging at her shirt.

“Impatient?” Sae-byeok teased.

“Always.” 

The taller laughed and slid her hands across Ji-yeong’s body, resting on her hips as Ji-yeong pulled her shirt up and kissed her again before kissing down her neck to her chest. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” She mumbled as her lips touched Sae-byeok’s skin as she whimpered slightly. 

“I am so going to get back at you for all this shit you’ve put me through recently, seriously, I–” Ji-yeong’s gaze landed on Sae-byeok’s torso and she stopped talking. The smile on her face quickly faded and was replaced with a frown of concern. 

“Shit,” Sae-byeok breathed out, sitting up slightly on her elbows. 

“What the,” Ji-yeong stared at the giant bruises on her girlfriends stomach and the even bigger one on her side. She looked up at Sae-byeok for any sign of an explanation and was met with blank eyes.

“What?” She said after a moment, shrugging slightly. 

Ji-yeong’s eyes narrowed and her shoulders tensed. “ What? What!? What do you mean ? What is wrong with you, Sae-byeok?!” She yelled, hitting her chest.

“Hey! Stop that, what-” 

Ji-yeong started hitting her shoulders, mumbling away about Sae-byeok being a stupid idiot and a dickhead and all sorts of other names. 

“Ji! Hey, quit it- that hurts!”

“Good! What the fuck is this?”

Sae-byeok braced herself as Ji-yeong gave her one final shove on her shoulder and pointed down at her torso. The taller looked down herself and sighed as she noticed the bruising had gotten worse than she had hoped. 

“I told you already.” 

“You purposefully didn’t tell me about this part of it.” Ji-yeong narrowed her eyes at her and touched Sae-byeok’s side, inspecting it. Sae-byeok winced at the touch and the shorter pulled her hand away. 

“You’re telling me some random dude got worked up over identification and beat you up this badly?” She asked, skeptical. 

Sae-byeok looked at her and considered sticking to that story, but how could she when Ji-yeong was still sitting on her lap and looking at her with those eyes of hers? Full of concern and distrust? The look made Sae-byeok fill with guilt and she looked away.

“Maybe he wasn’t exactly a random dude.” She mumbled, picking at the couch. 

She opened her mouth and closed it again, blinking for a beat. “You lied ?” 

Guilt filled Sae-byeok’s guts and she felt her stomach twist. She never lied. Ji-yeong knew that. Everyone knew that. Hell, Cheol even swore to Ji-yeong she never lied. But here she was, having lied to her closest person. 

“I-” Sae-byeok stuttered a little. She surprised herself, usually confident with her words. “I did.” 

One thing about Sae-byeok is that she always takes accountability without a second thought. She was an honest person, really. She always admitted to fault if it wasn’t too personal, such as when she ate all of Cheol’s sticky rice cakes or when she accidently broke Ji-yeong’s favourite teacup when they’d just started going out. 

“You lied,” Ji-yeong repeated, disbelief in her voice. 

“Ji-yeong,”

“Pathetic.” she interrupted, shaking her head at Sae-byeok, a look in her eyes that sent a thousand bullets straight into Sae-byeok’s chest.

Sae-byeok’s chest twisted in a sudden ache and her emotions took over. “I don’t owe you anything,” She starts and she knows she should stop talking but her ego couldn’t take another hit. “I can handle myself. I don’t need you babying me all the time.” The words tumbled out, spilling out from somewhere she didn’t know and falling to the ground. 

Ji-yeong looked at Sae-byeok, hurt all over her face. The taller wanted to punch herself in the face. She hated seeing that look on her girlfriend’s face, especially when it was caused by herself. What was she even saying? Her walls had rebuilt themselves and this was the cold, uncaring Sae-byeok speaking. The one who had no one and needed no one. But that wasn’t her today. She absolutely needed Ji-yeong more than words could describe.

She sighed, wishing she could take back her words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that-” She squeezed her hips a little in hopes for some reassurance to either herself or Ji-yeong.

The shorter pushed Sae-byeok’s hands away and got off of her, standing up. Sae-byeok looked at her with that same blank face, her eyes slightly twitching with emotion, missing the heat of Ji-yeong on her lower abdomen immediately. 

The shorter swiftly turned around and walked over to the door, grabbing her coat and pocketing her phone before slamming it behind her. The apartment was filled with a dull pain of silence and Sae-byeok could feel her ears ring as her blood viciously pumped in anxiety. 

“Fuck,” She covered her face with her hands. 

⟡

Hours passed. 

No Ji-yeong. 

Sae-byeok hadn’t chased after her. Whenever Ji-yeong would walk out she never wanted Sae-byeok to run after her. She just wanted to be left alone. Sae-byeok, as much as she always wanted to run after her, respected that. 

But it had literally been hours since Ji-yeong slammed the door. She usually only went out for an hour or two, tops. Sae-byeok glanced outside, the moon looming over their apartment in a threatening away. Her girlfriend had left in the morning and it was now the late hours of the day.

Worry laced her heart as she looked down at her phone, where her and Ji-yeong’s chat was open.

sae-byeok ; 11:03

ji-yeong, im sorry          

i didn’t mean what i said

come home and we can talk about it

please        

sae-byeok ; 15:56

ji-yeong?

sae-byeok ; 21:27

are you okay? 

please let me know.                                        

She clenched the phone in her hands and sighed. She hadn’t asked where Ji-yeong was because she didn’t want to invade too much. She just wanted to know if Ji-yeong was okay. 

The brunette paced around their living room, constantly checking her phone and looking outside as it somehow got even darker. Her whole body was buzzing with stress as the absence of Ji-yeong overtook her. She bit at her nails as she paced, mind racing with nothing. 

She glanced at the time, ten forty. Fuck this, she thought. She had to go find Ji-yeong and make sure she’s okay and then bring her home. Something could have happened to her and all Sae-byeok’s been doing is staying at home. 

As she shouldered on her windbreaker and went to open the door, Ji-yeong beat her to it. The door swung open and she let out a breath as she was met with brown, unscathed eyes. 

“Ji-yeong.”

The shorter gave her a one over, raising a brow at her jacket and walked inside, past Sae-byeok. The taller followed her, letting the door close. She glanced over Ji-yeong, scanning for any harm and her eyes landed on a rip in the jacket that wasn’t there before. 

She quickly walked over to Ji-yeong and grabbed her arm, pulling the jacket up to see a light cut. Someone must have messed with her and slashed her jacket, causing the cut, was what Sae-byeok immediately thought. 

“Who did this?” 

Ji-yeong raised a brow and scoffed. “Seriously?”

Sae-byeok’s eyes narrowed and she looked down at the cut. She looked back up at Ji-yeong. “Tell me. I’ll take care of it–”

“I can handle myself, I don’t need you babying me.” Ji-yeong echoed, practically mocked Sae-byeok right to her face. Sae-byeok’s expression faltered as she looked at Ji-yeong. “Isn’t that what you said, tough guy?” 

“Ji-yeong,” Sae-byeok warned, not wanting to play games when it came to things like these. Sure, she was being a giant hypocrite, but this was Ji-yeong . She couldn’t handle if something had happened while she was sulking and waiting.  

“I must have, I don’t know, tripped into someone’s knife or something, right?”

Sae-byeok blinked, confused. 

“Maybe I bumped into someone and they got upset and slashed my jacket, and I got hurt.” 

“Who.” Sae-byeok asked, her protective exterior poking out.

Ji-yeong shrugs. “Apparently we aren’t honest with each other anymore, so you don’t need to know that. Quid pro quo right?”

She watched Ji-yeong put her coat down on the couch and turned to look at Sae-byeok defiantly. 

Sae-byeok stared at her. “We are honest with each other.”

“Oh? Really? Are we forgetting this morning already?”

She shook her head and wrung her hands. “I’ve always told you the truth! Look, I’ll tell you what happened okay? I was going to, I swear it, but I-” She sighs, looking down. “No excuses. I’ll tell you.”

Ji-yeong looked at Sae-byeok, mirroring the blank expression she had on earlier. “Who said I want to know now?”

“It was Deok-su,” Sae-byeok started, ignoring Ji-yeong’s comment. Despite the fact that Ji-yeong was being stubborn and had gotten hurt, Sae-byeok really did want to be honest with her. It felt weird not sharing what happened. “He’s the one who came into the store. The part about the alcohol was true, he did want it and had no ID.” 

She studied Ji-yeong’s expression. She was just as good and having a blank stare as Sae-byeok was. 

“And… maybe I did say something to piss him off further. He didn’t try anything in the station aside from pulling me from my shirt, but once he saw the cameras, he left. I thought that was that and closed up and started walking to my car when he basically jumped me.”

Sae-byeok sighed and scratched her neck. She felt ashamed to admit the next part. “He scruffed me up pretty good, as you can tell. Pushed me to the ground and kicked the shit out of me,” She noticed Ji-yeong’s hard expression softened and she continued. “I hardly got one punch in. I guess I pissed him off by still talking when he was almost done, so he took a rock he found on the side and slammed it into where that glass got me all those years ago. Then, he walked off.” She sighs and looked up at Ji-yeong. “That’s the whole truth.”

A beat of silence passed. Sae-byeok felt the guilt and anxiety swirl in her chest, nothing except the rapid rise and fall of her chest to show it. Her expression remained calm, fixed, stoic. Ji-yeong stared back for a second, noting the sign of anxiety on Sae-byeok and sighed before looking away.

“You should have told me from the start,” She said, leaning back against the couch.

“I wanted to but I didn’t want you to worry.” 

“Who are you to decide if I should worry or not?” Ji-yeong quickly said, looking at Sae-byeok with narrowed eyes. “I’m your girlfriend. I care.” 

“I know. I apologise.” Sae-byeok bowed her head down slightly and let out a sigh. She wanted to say she didn’t want to burden Ji-yeong with her problems but couldn’t find the words to say it.

“You aren’t a burden. It isn’t a burden to me to care about you.” The shorter said, as if she had read the taller’s thoughts. That’s something Sae-byeok had always admired about Ji-yeong, the way she was able to read her mind and see right through her. At first it had made her uncomfortable and defensive, but soon enough she came to realise she liked being seen. 

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Ji-yeong sighed and crossed her arms. 

A silence engulfs the room. Not a quiet one, not a loud one. Ji-yeong noticed Sae-byeok’s gaze on her arm and remembered her concern. 

“So, am I allowed to finally know what happened? Who cut you?” Sae-byeok finally asked, voice steady. Ji-yeong could tell that the mere thought of her being hurt infuriated the taller and she had to fight the smirk that came onto her face as she spoke.

“Oh, this little thing?” She asked, showing up her arm. “My jacket caught onto a nail and ripped through it. Didn’t even notice it scratched me until you went all crazy over it.”

Sae-byeok’s eyebrows crinkle and she frowns. “What? You made me think someone hurt you!”

“Yup. I did. I was going to brush it off and explain but then I thought you should taste your own medicine. Sucks to worry about someone while they stay stubborn and refuse to elaborate, right?” 

Sae-byeok rolled her eyes at the smirk on Ji-yeong’s face. “You suck.”

“You love it,” Ji-yeong smiled as Sae-byeok approached her with a similar, smaller smile. 

Her arms found themselves around Ji-yeong’s waist and the two stood there, looking at each other's expressions. Stone against stone. 

“I really am sorry, though.” Sae-byeok said after a moment, her voice barely above a whisper. “Not just for this, but for everything recently.”

“Me too,” Ji-yeong replied, tilting her head the way Sae-byeok adored. 

Sae-byeok smiled before leaning in and kissing Ji-yeong. 

Maybe things were going to get better between them. The thought was comforting enough to forget about Sae-byeok’s injuries for the next few hours.