Archive of Our Own

"would you like anything else?" the waiter lingers by his table on the way to the kitchen, but hanbin shakes his head. "great! just call me if you do."

"uh, sure," hanbin nods and watches as the waiter smoothly navigates through a million of small square tables, surrounded by countless chairs, too many for this already not really spacious room.

there is only one thing hanbin would desperately like right now, and it's exactly why he came all the way here: an hour on the bus and four hours on the train.

being top of his class in vocal department in college, participating in a bunch of school festivals and musicals, and after graduation suddenly only landing the roles that barely allow him to stand on the stage has been devastating. he knows he should've got some of the bigger roles he auditioned for, he would've been perfect, but he's still considered inexperienced, can be too reserved in a new environment and absolutely not well-connected. he gets it. but this time, this role he needs badly. 

the main character is a doctor living in a small town near the seaside, and in a moment of pure desperation, it occurred to hanbin that if he visited the place, he might learn all there is about it and its residents, get inspired and portray the character as perfectly as possible. and if not, at least he would've tried all he could. 

so, now he is sitting in a cafe fifteen minutes from the station, watching strangers go about their day. it's almost lunch, so people are starting to pour in, and soon most of the seats in this dim, quite ordinary, yet somehow appealing venue are occupied. the cafe feels amiable with its quiet instrumental music, soothing without anyone being aware of it, with its big clear windows, letting in warm april sun that balances out the dark walls and weak lightning and providing a glimpse of the sea in the distance, a bright ribbon glimmering and wavering between small buildings and old apartment complexes. and even it being crammed full in every way doesn't take away from that impression.

the only waiter flows between obstacles, greeting, and taking orders, and smiling, without a hitch remembering preferences and making a short stop only to wipe his glasses and fix his hair. dark straight strands fall on his forehead and almost reach his eyes — he carefully parts them, watching himself reflected on the steel door of the foodwarmer where the cooked rice is stored. 

"sorry, would you mind leaving this table vacant?" he asks when a group of students who were hanbin's trainmates rush in and flock to the place near the window. "ah, thank you." 

he pushes four tables together for them and helps them with the menu and in about ten minutes, grins at an elderly woman coming in with a book: "reserved your favourite spot." 

with the way he moves around the cafe, he reminds hanbin of a sailboat. smooth and precise, light and as if effortless, although hanbin knows that nothing about service industry is effortless. he courses this small, yet menacing sea, his white loose shirt a sail against the thunderstorm of dark grey walls, slipping through the wreckage and rocks of furniture. 

"here you go," having brought a boy's order, he squats down and places a small bowl on the floor for a maltese. he smiles as he watches the fluffy ball run around it a bit and then rushes to the next customer, and the next, until hanbin suddenly realises that he's going in his direction. 

"everything okay?" the waiter asks, not angry or annoyed, but concerned, and hanbin blinks.

"uh, yes, why?" 

hanbin knows why. 

"you were staring at me."

"i... i just thought you were good," he awkwardly admits, and the waiter grins.

"you bet," he glances around and, as for the moment no one appears to need his help, continues: "so, never seen you here before."

"yeah, i'm just on a day trip. i... ah, needed some inspiration." 

"oh. i wouldn't mind hearing more," he smiles wide, and eager, and sincere, looks directly at hanbin and seems so genuinely curious that hanbin, having actually planned to just play it safe, can't brush him off. 

"for an audition. i'm trying for a musical."

"wow, that's..." he nods a few times, evidently impressed, and rests his elbow on a chair's back. "that's really cool. what's it about?" 

"a doctor in a small town can cure anything, people call him a miracle worker and a genius, but it's actually all thanks to the remedy mermaids give him in exchange for human trinkets. and one day someone finds out." 

"so it's set here? this is the small town?" he gathers with an intrigued smile, and hanbin nods. "we're gonna be famous soon then. thanks to you," he adds, making hanbin snicker. 

"i'm not sure i'll get the role." 

"can you show some of your previous?" 

"yeah," hanbin had his friends record his performances, and he reaches for his phone and earbuds, offering one to the waiter, as he sits down next to him, and tapping on the most recent video. 

"wow," the waiter remarks as soon as the recording stops. "the character may be a quack, but you're definitely not. you can't not get this role." 

"thanks," hanbin laughs. he had a short part in that production, but he worked hard on it, and he did, he would say, manage to show at least some of his abilities. being praised for it feels really, really good. 

"i'm minseo, by the way. i..." the waiter glances back when the door creaks open and immediately gets up. "i'll be right back. if you want me to, of course." 

"i do." 

"then just wait," he grins, back to the seas, before drifting to hanbin again who continues where they left off:

"lee hanbin." 

they talk some more, with minseo switching between him and everyone else, and hanbin finds out that he is a dancer, part of a local dance group, not too big or famous, but multiple winner of regional contests, with a small, but stable fanbase and that up close he's even harder not to stare at. not in a keeping-friendly-eye-contact kind of way, but in an i-have-encountered-many-people-in-my-life-but-none-of-them-were-as-majestic-as-you kind of way. 

"do you wanna see?" 

"yeah," hanbin immediately blurts out. 

"okay," minseo giggles and fishes his phone out of his pocket, presenting their youtube channel and pondering over the video list for a few seconds. he is in the centre when the selected performance begins, and, although all the dancers are constantly changing positions, he's the one hanbin's eyes are glued to right away. not because he already likes him, but because minseo steals the viewer's attention wherever he is. his movements are exact and smooth, he looks relaxed, and it's obvious that he's having fun, perfectly capturing the song's joyful and laid-back atmosphere and making the dance seem easy, natural, like something he decided to do just as the music started. 

"woah" escapes hanbin every time minseo does something, anything really, and he can't help it. he simply embraces his embarrassing side and lets himself enjoy the performance to the fullest. 

"glad you liked it," laughing, minseo notes when the video ends and looks around the cafe, as he's been doing the entire time not to neglect his responsibilities, and, having noticed something, stands up, then smiling at hanbin: "i'll be back in a moment." 

"you won't be in trouble for spending time with me?" hanbin asks when he returns, and minseo shakes his head. 

"i think i'm managing pretty well right now. and i'm good at this job in general, so i doubt anyone's gonna complain," he shrugs. "most of the people here know me, so i think we're fine." 

"great," hanbin smiles: he wouldn't want to create problems for minseo, but still, him going back to what he's supposed to do seemed like a terrible prospect. 

"besides, not everyday you meet a..." minseo pauses, eyes locked with hanbin, and breaks into a wide, playful smile, his gaze fond and cheerful, and hanbin feels that a few more hours with him, and he'll be one such smile away from getting on one knee. "...a fellow artist."

"right."

"mhm," minseo nods, teasing, and hanbin frantically hopes he's reading everything correctly. "so gotta take my chance." 

they keep talking, and talking, and talking until hanbin's phone lights up with a notification and his eyes unluckily land on the time. it's already almost half past three. 

minseo seems to notice it too:

"when's your train back?" 

"at seven," hanbin sighs. he does need to get the feel of the town at least to some degree. he has to. 

"you should go then," minseo smiles, soft and regretful, making it even harder for hanbin, right when a new customer appears. "fuck. sorry. just don't go right now, okay?" 

hanbin nods. sure, he can repeat today's trip next week, after the audition, but things may change by then, the opportunity lost, so for now, he intends to steal as many moments with minseo as possible. 

"okay, i'm back," minseo reappears in a handful of minutes. "wanted to ask before you go. can i have your number? to wish you luck on your audition and ask you how it went."

"uh..."

"it's okay if you don't want to! i just thought..."

"it's not that," hanbin rushes to explain. "i was actually hoping you'd ask for it."

minseo grins.

"of course i was going to!" he exclaims and, curious, wants an elaboration: "you wouldn't ask for mine if i hadn't?" 

hanbin considers for a few seconds. 

"i think i would instead come back here next week and try then. it's just..." 

the last thing he needs on top of his anxiety before the audition is the most breathtaking guy ever rejecting him. 

"you're gonna nail your audition, hanbin," minseo grabs his hand and lightly squeezes, his gaze fixed on hanbin, lips forming a gentle smile. "you're perfect for the role, you've got a great voice, and from what i've seen, it's obvious how skilled you're. i know it's not that simple and sometimes the results are not fair, but i do believe in you. so i'll still wish you luck and ask how everything went and then invite you here to celebrate. on my day off, so i'll be all yours," he adds and reassures once again: "you're gonna do great."

hanbin thanks him, his heart crazy, mind blank, hand still in minseo's, and types his number on minseo's phone with the other one before forcing himself to get up. 

"uh, thanks for today," he manages.

"same to you," minseo nods and proceeds to bless him with another warm smile: "i'll text you. and i do hope you'll get the inspiration you came for!"

the phone buzzes with notifications less than a half an hour later as hanbin is strolling through the market near the beach. it's a weekday — some of the vendors are closed, but the place reminds him of his hometown: not a touristy spot, without any fun attractions or trendy cafes — just a couple of street installations near the beach entrance — and similar basins with fish on plastic crates, some herbs and spices, and as he passes the pier — a lot of small boats and people in bright yellow gloves, hurrying around.

the beach is a vast beige sea of its own. there are no sun loungers or umbrellas, just sand and some burnt grass, and a new batch of messages arrives right when hanbin lays his backpack on the sand to sit down. 

turns out it was brilliant of him to come here for research. 

minseo is waiting for him near the station, scrolling through something on his phone and lifting his head from time to time, looking around. he waves, lighting up, as he notices hanbin rushing to him. 

"hey," he smiles dazzlingly and immediately gets a smile in return. 

"hey." 

for a moment, hanbin doesn't even want to say anything, just being happy that he's here, that minseo's here. 

"you hungry?" minseo asks and when hanbin nods leads him to a commercial building about ten minutes away. it's five stories high, and hanbin manages to make out a dentist's office, some cram school and a gym on the service directory sign. they, though, go to the zero floor. there is a market there, narrow passages, strong smells, bright colours and loud noises, and minseo with ease sails through to the opposite part of the site, turning around to make sure hanbin is sticking close to him. 

they arrive at a tiny japanese place — even the kiosk for ordering is originally in japanese and can be switched to korean — and, having made the order and chatting, they sit at one of the two tables that, with the kitchen and the kiosk, make up the cafe. 

"i told you you'd nail it," minseo remarks later, when they step onto the street. he's already congratulated hanbin over text, but even so, he sounds happy for him and excited, and hanbin begins to melt despite the weather being only warm enough for a windbreaker.

"i guess i just really wanted to come here to celebrate." 

"you guess?" minseo snorts. "i thought we both knew that."

"i guess we did," hanbin replies with a wide smile, and minseo laughs. 

"i would've asked you to come here anyway. i just wanted to see you." 

he smiles, open and radiant — hanbin's soul about to leave his body — and gestures to turn to the adjoining street, quietly running between small apartment buildings and full of cherry blossoms that create shades and turn the sky into a kaleidoscope. 

"i uh," hanbin begins. he shared with minseo everything about the audition, all the details and all the positive feedback the director had ("you portrayed the atmosphere perfectly", "you really understood the character"), but there is one thing he'd rather tell him in person, too significant to rely on texts: "just wanted to say thanks. i practiced a lot and i got the role, but it was really important to me that you were there for me during all of this. that time in the cafe and then through messages. it helped a lot." 

"you're too great to be overlooked like you were before. i just said what i thought." 

"i know. and thanks for that," hanbin replies, trying to segue into what he's been dying to do but instead failing to recall anything he's thought of and with every second, clearly looking more and more lost. 

"oh," minseo seems to catch on, grins and locks eyes with hanbin, amused and affectionate. "so do i get something for my invaluable input?" 

"i guess you do."

"and what do i get?"

he stops — making hanbin halt as well — and fully turns to him, his palms crawling up hanbin's shoulders. he doesn't wait for the response, preventing hanbin from ruining the moment, and reaches forward to kiss him. softly, his fingers interlocking on hanbin's nape, hanbin's hands gliding up the back of minseo's denim jacket, a light blue sea, and pulling him a bit closer. hanbin sneaks a peek because if there is a kang minseo, a lee hanbin has to look at him, and even just this much, a quick glance, an odd angle, makes him realise that never before has he had so much he wanted to give. 

"i should help you out more often, i think," minseo says as they take a second to breathe, and hanbin lets out a laugh. 

"or we could just do it again. right now, for example."

"a genius idea," minseo nods, and hanbin's hands cup his face, fingers lightly brushing the skin and lips meeting minseo's. 

hanbin's crushing at minseo's place. it's a week before the rehearsals begin, so he's in the middle of preparation, and he concludes he doesn't have to be in seoul to do this. 

he goes to the beach to learn his lines and lyrics, or to cafes, except for the one minseo works at — he wouldn't get any work done there. hanbin knows if he asked minseo not to come up to him, minseo would undoubtedly keep his word, but he still wouldn't be focusing on the text. hanbin simply wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of him. 

so he goes anywhere but there and then practices at home, determined to show the best he's got. not only because he's a professional, but also to make his character an homage to the bright sea and desolate beach, busy boats and nostalgic market, pink snowflakes of cherry blossoms and cosy streets that he already feels a connection with. and, most importantly, to minseo who has been and, luckily, wants to continue being with hanbin during all stages of his journey with this musical. and as the sound of the front door being unlocked is heard, hanbin looks into the apartment from the balcony and scrambles up, catching minseo in the living room. he seems worn out, and hanbin pulls him into his arms, hands sliding under minseo's jacket. 

"rough day?" 

"yeah. too many people and a lot of cleaning and restocking to do," minseo sighs, burrowing his head into hanbin's shoulder, and hanbin begins to lightly massage his back through the shirt, making minseo laugh. "don't stop."

"wasn't going to," hanbin breaks into a smile, suddenly feeling comforted, although he's the one who's doing the comforting. minseo leans on him, wrapping his arms around hanbin's waist and interlocking his fingers, and, judging by his voice, smiles:

"good."

a few moments of hanbin kneading and minseo melting into him pass before he speaks again. 

"i'm really glad you're here." 

"me too. i'm glad i accidentally stared at you so much you noticed and i'm glad you didn't find it weird."

"first of all, yeah, right, 'accidentally'," minseo snorts. "and, second, you're wrong," he quietly laughs. "i was going to try to talk to you even before that. i just had a lot to do, but time was slipping away, and, even though i kept catching you staring, i got worried you might leave, so i decided to just go for it and used it as an excuse."

"oh."

"yeah. i know it wasn't great for you, me constantly coming and going, but i figured something's better than nothing." 

"i didn't mind it. you were working. i was happy i could spend some time with you at all." 

"so was i," minseo laughs and lifts his head, meeting hanbin's gaze, and hanbin knows he wouldn't be able to hide his affection, his smittenness even if he tried, so he just lets it flow, and minseo, kissing him, is sailing right on it.