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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-02-03
Updated:
2025-02-16
Words:
3,516
Chapters:
4/?
Comments:
19
Kudos:
55
Bookmarks:
15
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785

A (Wannabe) Author's Guide to Dating a Hitman

Summary:

Y/N Y/L/N is a dedicated school teacher by day and an aspiring crime novelist by night. There’s just one problem—she knows absolutely nothing about actual crime. So when she wanders into a hardware store, debating which tarp would be best for “hiding a body” in her latest novel, she has no idea she’s asking for advice from a real expert.

Bucky Barnes is a seasoned mob hitman who doesn’t usually waste time on strangers. But when a clueless blonde starts casually discussing body disposal methods in the tarp aisle, he’s too intrigued to walk away. What starts as an amusing conversation quickly spirals into something far messier when Bucky takes a risk on love...and now he's gotta balance being a hitman with being her boyfriend.

Notes:

I have no clue if anyone would even want to read this, but this is a funny story that I am writing to break up my time with Crossfade.

This one is going to be faster-paced, exclusive to AO3 and won't follow a specific update schedule like Crossfade!

Let me know if you like it and, if you guys do, I'll keep posting it! :)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Prologue

“This is all your fault!” I yelled at him, the restraints around my wrist cutting into my skin. Not every day you get kidnapped by the mob!

“Y/n…do me a favor and shut up for once in your life!” Bucky yells back at me as he shoots at one of the guys from behind a pillar. 

I growl at him. “Shut up? Did you tell me to shut up?” I scoff, twisting my wrists in the restraints. “We’re dating! And I’m currently tied to a chair by the mob!”

Bucky groans, there is another shot that rings out.“Oh, for the love of God…There are multiple different branches of the mob! Not all of them are bad!”

“And you would know!?” I practically scream over the gunshot that rings out.

“Yes! I would! Because your boyfriend works for the mob! Are you happy now, Y/n?” His words ring out like a bell. Well…that was…

“...that…actually makes a lot of sense,” I say, a little quieter. It would explain so many things. The quick step out at dinner, the canceled coffee date… “Wait…did you kill my boss ?!”

“Y/n!”

My mind is reeling as I process everything. Suddenly, I realize what he has said. “Wait, did you say you’re my boyfriend?”

“For the love…” His tone is exasperated. “We are not having this discussion right now. Stop. Talking.” 

I let out a frustrated sound, which he ignored. Bucky disappears. I have no idea where he goes, but, a few moments later, a shot rings out and then there is silence. I wait, holding my breath. 

I hear the footsteps and hold my breath. Oh, fuck. Please be Bucky. Please be Bucky. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” He asks me, not close enough to touch me, but clearly still looking to make sure that he’s handled all the gunmen.

“I…I think so…” I assess. I’m not physically hurt…I don’t think.

I feel gentle hands untying the restraints at my wrists. “I[m so sorry, sweetheart. This is why I told you to stop poking around on the internet!”

“They didn’t find me on the internet, Bucky! They found me because of you!” My wrists are finally free and I pull them into my chest, rubbing at them. I feel myself pout. Of all of the things I could be doing, I was pouting. Because he was chastising me. I wasn’t scared because I had just been involved in a shootout. I was embarrassed that he was…chastising me.

Bucky sighs and grips my shoulders. “Are you sure you’re ok?” He asks me, looking me over. His hands come up to my face, cupping my cheek. “Sweetheart…I am so sorry.” He pulls me into his arms. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

I sighed. How the hell did I get into this mess?