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Your name is John Egbert, and you are up to your fucking ears in frayed nerves. You're nervous.
And you are also trying to propose to your best friend.
He's not making it easy for you.
"Dude, what?" He asks. "Gotta speak clear Egs, or nobody's gonna understand a think you're sayin'."
"Dave oh my gosh be quiet this is really important."
"So speak up."
"Will you marry me?"
He freezes. "... Come again?"
You take a deep breath. "No one understands me like you do because you are perfect and you deserve to be happy and I hope I make you happy- Dave I love you so much it physically hurts. Marry me."
He just stares silently.
"Answer or shoot me. Please oh my gosh Dave this is no okay-"
He throws his arms around you, crushing you into his chest, kissing you as hard as he can.
You melt.
When he finally breaks the kiss, your lips are bruised and a little puffy and gosh you love him so much.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
He kisses you again, a gentle lite sugary thing.
"So is that a yes?"
"You proposed to me by quoting a post from some hipster blog on tumblr. Fucking right it's a yes."
You giggle.
Dave grins at you.
You are John Egbert, and you are so, so happy.