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He’s had a rough time lately, and you can tell.
He’s quieter than usual, more closed off and introverted than you’re used to. It’s not a new thing per se. With the stress of his job and the pressures surrounding his everyday life, it’s no surprise when things get too heavy for him.
He’s strong, and desperately trying his best not to be a burden on the other members or make you worry.
You’ve learned the hard way that trying to force him into opening up and relying on you doesn’t work out well for either of you. He shuts down further, and you end up feeling utterly useless and pushy.
So all you can do is wait him out, stay by his side and avoid the subject until he’s ready to talk about it. It doesn’t always feel right, your instincts telling you to fix it, but Mingi doesn’t need fixing. He doesn’t need hovering. He doesn’t need you asking him what’s wrong 20 times a day.
He needs you to trust him to try and work through it on his own. To take his hand and squeeze it when he goes quiet, and patiently wait for him to start speaking again.
However, it’s been two weeks of this and you’re struggling alongside him. You’ve had to distract yourself over the last couple of days to keep from butting in, and you’re starting to feel at a loss when he once again comes over to your place, face expressionless and body tense as if he’s done nothing but fight his demons all day.
“Hey.” You greet him from the couch, having to stop yourself from getting up and throwing yourself at him, smiling softly to make sure he knows you’re happy to see him. “Have you eaten?”
“No.” He mumbles as he makes his way over to you, feet nearly dragging from how exhausted he is.
“Do you want to?” You ask gently, moving your legs to make room for him on the couch, your own nerves settling slightly when he sits down, the fading scent of his cologne making you smile.
“I don’t know.” He sighs, pulling your legs onto his lap, their weight grounding him as he glances at you. “You?”
“In a bit maybe.” You say, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair, heart clenching as his eyes flutter shut at the touch. “Just kind of want to sit with you for a bit if that’s okay?”
Mingi makes a deep little noise as he nods before leaning into the touch, and given his mental state you shouldn’t find it as arousing as you do.
“I’m proud of you, you know.” You continue, not really intending on starting anything but the need to praise him always burns the brightest when he sounds like that. “Working so hard, having all that weight on your shoulders. You’re doing so good.”
Another sound, this one resembling a whine more than anything else, as he somehow manages to pull you fully onto his lap, arms wrapping around your waist as he buries his face in your shoulder.
“It doesn’t feel like it.” He mumbles, voice almost too low and deep for you to hear. “Feels like I’m failing.”
“Has Hongjoong told you you are?” You ask, slipping your arms around him and resting your chin at the top of his head. “Or any of the guys?”
“Don’t have to.”
“Mingi… Baby.” You can feel his body reacting to the pet name, nearly snapping to attention but slower than usual, like his body is too tired to fully comply. “If they haven’t told you you’re doing something wrong, you’re not. They know you, they know that not telling you isn’t an option, and they care about you so much.”
“I’m so tired.” He whispers, his voice cracking alongside your heart. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Mm.” You hum, nuzzling your cheek into his hair as you breathe him in. “Do you need me to tell you?”
If the tension wasn’t still very much present in his body you would have thought he’s fallen asleep, his silence stretching as he battles the demons in his head telling him that relying on anyone is weakness.
“You know I like to do it, give your head a little rest while I get to take care of you.”
“You don’t have to.”
The words are simple but their meaning is not.
They’re an apology for leaning on you, a plea for you not to think he’s too much, an attempt to minimize his own needs in favor of focusing on yours.
“I know.” You whisper, shifting to press a gentle kiss to his hair, his arms tightening around you as a deep sigh escapes him. “But I want to. So will you let me?”
Again, he doesn’t answer but you can feel the frustration in the way his hold on you tightens.
“You’re not a burden, baby, to me or anyone else. I just want to take care of you.” You nuzzle his hair, gently scratching the back of his neck the way you know he loves and you smile when he can’t hold back a full-body shiver. “Please.”
It’s a low blow and you’ll probably feel guilty about it tomorrow, but pleading with him has never not worked.
Case in point: at the simple word, Mingi pulls back, his beautiful eyes blinking up at you, lips parted just enough to show off those adorable bunny-like teeth that you love so much, looking as dazed and submissive as only he can.
“Would you like me to turn your brain off for you, baby?” You ask, caressing his face with gentle fingers as you search his eyes for any hesitation, any sign that you’re pushing him too far.
“Please.”
That’s all he can, and has to, say.
You tap him to release you, shifting into straddling him properly when he does, and you give a little chuckle at the way his arms immediately go back around your waist once you’re comfortable again.
“Good boy.” You whisper, watching the cutest smile bloom on his lips as you stroke his hair and he leans forward to nudge his nose against yours. “You’re so sweet for me.”
The sound that escapes him makes you shiver, and you have to fight the desire coursing through you as you press a gentle kiss to his lips, forcing yourself not to deepen it. This isn’t about you, it’s about him and giving him everything he needs in this moment, no matter how much you crave him after nearly three weeks of only your own fingers and imagination.
Mingi’s fingers twitch at your waist but he stays still, only taking what you’re giving him like the good boy he is, but tonight is not about him doing what he’s told.
“You can touch me if you want, baby.” You chuckle against his lips before leaning your forehead against his, watching his eyes flutter closed at the intimate touch. “Tonight is about what you need, whether if that’s cuddling or something else, I’m right here for all of it.”
“I love you.” He whispers, voice shaky as his hands move from your waist, one of them coming up to cup the back of your head to pull your lips back to his, while the other settles on your hip, his thumb moving under the hem of your shirt to rub circles into your skin. “So fucking much.”
“And I love you.” You sigh breathily, doing your best not to shiver at the touch but it’s becoming increasingly difficult and you’re sure he can tell by the way your hips are twitching on his lap, yearning for friction.
“How bad do you want me, baby?” He asks, the whiny sound in his voice starting to disappear and it shakes you from your own needs.
“This isn’t about me, Mingi.” You say but there’s too much air in your words for you to fool either of you. “I’m taking care of you, not the other way around.”
“What if I need you?” He asks, threading his fingers through your hair and lightly pulling to tilt your head back, his lips attaching to your neck in a way that does nothing to keep yourself under control. “It’s been so long.”
“Please…” Now it’s you whining and you can feel him grin against your skin.
“Please what, baby? Use your words.”
It’s rich coming from him and if you weren’t busy losing your composure, you’d point it out, but now all you can do is shiver against him as his other hand moves fully under your shirt to caress your skin.
“Let me take care of you.” Your breath hitches at the feel of his teeth grazing your pulse point, your pussy throbbing at the deep chuckle that leaves his lips at the sound.
“You wanted me to lose my mind, didn’t you?”
His hand is moving up to undo your bra and he moans when you accidentally grind against him to escape it, the hand in your hair tightening to keep you still.
“’Turn it off’.” You mumble, an undignified whimper leaving your lips when he starts nipping at your neck. “Wanted to turn it off.”
“You can still do that, baby.” He all but coos, actually pulling back to meet your eye as he lets you both catch your breaths. “But I’m going to fuck you the way I need at some point, okay?”
You relent with a nod, and a not so small pout, but a gentle pinch at your back makes you yelp.
“You’re still capable of words, use them.” Mingi says, an unusual amount of softness in his dominating tone, more coaxing than ordering.
“Yes. That’s okay.” You breathe, willing your eyes not to flutter shut at the feel of him getting harder under you.
“That’s my good girl.” He chuckles, releasing your hair to caress your heated face.
“You make me so fucking weak.” You whisper, trying your best to look him in the eye even though it’s making you needier by the second.
“I know, and it’s so fucking cute.” He chuckles, leaning forward to press a number of soft little kisses over your mouth, nose and cheeks. “Makes me want to ruin you.”
“Stop.” You pout, making a show of pushing at his chest even though you know you probably couldn’t move him if you tried.
“That’s not your safeword.” Mingi whispers in your ear, the deep base of his voice making you tremble on his lap. “Now, I gonna eat your pussy and you’re gonna let me, aren’t you, baby?”
You want to protest and he knows it, so before you can even open your mouth he stares you down with those sharp dark eyes, making your words freeze in your throat.
“You want me to turn off my brain, right? Drowning in your pussy sounds like a perfect way to do that, don’t you think?”
The way he looks at you is making it hard to come up with the words you want to, or should, say, and you find yourself nodding, the dazzling smile he aims back at you making your head spin.
This time, he’s the one to tap you to move. He supports you as you get up, suspecting (rightly so) that your legs are halfway turned to jelly by now, and holds your hands as you sit back down on the couch.
He rolls his eyes when you hand him a pillow for his knees but when you won’t budge he relents, allowing you to drop it to the floor before he kneels on it.
It’s a constant battle between the two of you, him finding it unnecessary and you refusing to ruin his legs over his love of eating you out.
“This good?” He asks as he looks up at you, hands on your hips with his long fingers playing with the waistline of your pants.
“Mhm,” You nod, unable to tear your eyes from his as you squirm at the touch. “It’s good.”
You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of his toothy grin, the pure, if somewhat tired, joy on his face has your heart racing and when he goes to pull your pants and underwear off along with your shirt and bra, you can’t help but moan knowing what’s to come.
He doesn’t waste time praising you, he doesn’t need to as his mouth on you does all the talking for him.
He’s like a man starved but you do praise him for not diving right in, for containing his excitement in favor of warming you up, even though he really doesn’t need to.
The little sounds he made earlier laid the foundation, the wetness between your legs cooling when his breath fans over it between kisses to your sensitive flesh.
If the previous sounds had been mouthwatering, the sounds he makes now are divine. He chases your own sounds, knowing you well enough to know what gets you going but always on the lookout for extra sensitive spots or anything that makes you squirm more than usual.
“Mingi-” You choke on a breath when his long tongue laps over your clit, taking his time to taste you properly before gently sucking on it, grinning against you when your legs try to snap closed around his head.
The eyes that look up at you are wanton, glazed over with desire and you can’t help but whimper at the sight, shivering at the way he reaches up to guide your hands into his hair, silently asking you to pull and twist on it as much as you need.
His hair feels good between your fingers, not necessarily soft with everything it goes through on a daily basis, but you don’t care as you give it a tug to angle him to where you need him the most.
His tongue is as dangerous as he is, long and sharp as it puts you through your paces, and the hands he’s snaked around your thighs to hold you open for him are tight enough that you might have marks in the morning. You really hope so cause by God you’ve missed them!
There’s no need for words anymore. Mingi knows what to do and you know to leave him to his chosen art form, the only thing you can do is to hold on and let him take you where he wants you.
Your first orgasm doesn’t take much work at all. You may have gotten yourself off since his schedules picked up in intensity but regrettably the orgasms have been nothing in comparison to the ones he’s able to give you.
You know he can tell you’re close, he always does but always refuses to tell you why, joking about how if you don’t know you won’t be able to fake it with him. You have informed him that you’ve never ever had a reason to fake an orgasm with him but all he does when you tell him is grin like an idiot and tell you “better safe than sorry”.
Normally he lets up after you’ve come, allowing you to catch your breath before he continues to make you see stars, but tonight he shows you no such mercy. He’s determined to ruin you and even when you pull on his hair the only thing he does is moan around your sensitive clit before he keeps going.
“Baby…” You whimper, tugging a little harder and this time he actually looks up at you even though he still doesn’t stop. “Too much.”
“Is it?” He mumbles against you, releasing your thigh before working one long finger into you, making your breath hitch in your throat. “I think you can take it.”
“No-” You say but he can feel you clench hard around him, the knowledge that he’ll keep going until he’s either satisfied or you safeword, is too hot to handle.
“No?” He chuckles, lapping at your pussy to make you whine. “Does my baby need more than this?”
You don’t have the time to answer before a second finger joins the first, stretching you around him in a way that makes you moan and yet it’s still not enough.
“Taking me so well.” He praises, angling and curling his fingers while he watches your expression until he finds the right spot, doubling down once he has you completely breathless with tears shining in your eyes. “Fuck, I’ve missed this.”
“Mingi!” Your grip on his hair tightens hard enough for him to hiss but the pulsing in your ears makes you deaf to it. “Please!”
“Let go for me, baby. I’ve got you.” He growls, immediately sucking your clit when he’s done speaking, fucking you through your second orgasm until you’re squirming through the aftershocks, the overstimulation too much to take.
“Please…” You whimper, one of your feet planting itself on his shoulder, not really pushing but a sign that he takes for what it is. You’re done but not enough to completely tap out.
He pulls back to give you a toothy grin, leaning into the hands still in his hair. He gives you the time you need to relax, hands stroking your legs to bring you down gently, his lips covering the skin he can reach with soft kisses while he watches you.
When the fog finally lifts and all your senses have started working again, you take a look at him and smile. The look in his eyes is one you know well, dazed and high, not only from your climax but his own.
It’s kind of rare for him to come from eating you out, especially without touching himself, but it appears he has been just as desperate for you as you have been for him in these last couple of weeks.
“You okay?” You breathe, finally realizing the iron grip you have on his hair and releasing it, only for him to whine at the loss before you move to caress his face.
He nods, words seeming to fail him, but the smile on his face as he beams up at you speaks volume on its own as he nuzzles into your touch.
“You did so good, baby.” You coo at him, admiring the stars in his eyes while he catches his breath. “Making me feel so good.”
He soaks up the praise like a sponge, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he moves off the floor to lay you down on the couch, catching your lips in a lazy kiss.
He’s still hard against your stomach as he covers you with his body, shivering at your heat even though he’s the one still fully clothed. The wet spot on his jeans must be cooling and although you’re sure he wants to get out of them, he makes no attempt to move other than keeping some of his weight off you.
“Thank you.” He mumbles against your lips once his voice starts working again and you can’t help but giggle as he speaks between kisses. “I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.” You do your best to respond even though he seems to try his best to keep your lips occupied. “To be honest I did too.”
“I know.” He sighs, lips leaving yours as he pulls back to look at you properly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here.”
“It’s okay. You’ve been busy and you deal with it in your own way.” You say, running your hands over his back to keep him in his relaxed and talkative state. “I appreciate the apology though.”
“I want to try and talk to you more.” He whispers and when he rests his forehead against yours his breath on your face makes your heart sing. “It sucks keeping everything to myself.”
“I’d like that.” You say, pressing gentle kisses where you can reach. “I like being someone you can come to. I want to take care of you.”
A silent moan brushes your skin as your words make his hips jerk against you.
“Why are you so perfect?” He whispers and you can feel his heartbeat pick up speed when you reach down to cup his ass and help guide him into grinding against you. “Like you were made for me.”
“Guess you’re just lucky.” You chuckle when you kiss his nose, watching his eyes cross adorably as he tries to keep watching your lips. “You still want to fuck me?”
“Fuck yes.” He moans and you think you can almost feel him twitch in his jeans where he grinds against you. “Bedroom?”
“Yes please.” You say and you’ve barely gotten the words out before he’s off of you, pulling you to your feet and into his arms, and, despite your protests, carries you all the way into the bedroom even though you can walk by yourself.
He lays you down on the bed, only separating from you long enough to rid himself of his clothes, before he returns to your side, kissing his way down your entire body until you’re wondering if he’s going to go down on you again. But he stops himself after pressing a gentle kiss to your clit, grinning at the way you whimper before he settles himself between your legs, hard cock rubbing against your core as he leans down to kiss you.
“Ask me for it.” He groans between kisses, your hands are back to pulling at his hair and he struggles not to give in and bare his throat to you the way you know he really wants.
“Please, baby.” You whisper, meeting his shallow thrusts to get that friction your body craves even if it’s nowhere near enough. “Fuck me like you need. Give it to me.”
One of his hands reach down to align himself and he sinks into you, slower than usual but it’s been a while since he last stretched you out and you appreciate him being careful even if you do kind of crave something harder. But you know that this is what he needs, he needs to take care of you as much as you need to take care of him, and it would kill him if he hurt you by being careless.
You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the feel of him buried inside you. He’s not huge enough to be difficult to take, but he is bigger than anyone else you’ve been with, and every time he bottoms out fully it takes your breath away.
He settles inside you for moment, watching every twitch and change in your expression while he waits for you to relax around him, never as focused as when he’s searching for any discomfort that he might be causing you.
“You can move, baby.” You whisper breathlessly once the stretch doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming and he brings his lips to yours in a deep but gentle kiss as he takes your direction, starting to move with shallow thrusts, swallowing your sounds like they’re air to his lungs.
“Fuck…” He sighs against your lips, face nuzzled against yours as he fills you like only he can. “Feel so good.”
“You too.” You whimper, angling your hips to meet his languid thrusts better, shivering when he grinds against your sensitive clit.
You’re kind of grateful that he’s not rushing this, even if you may be craving something rougher. It may have only been three weeks but having him this close is turning out to be quite overwhelming and you’re almost grateful when he turns his head to trail his lips along your neck instead. It gives you a perfect excuse to not maintain eye contact and you turn your face fully to the side to give him more room to work with, while giving yourself a moment to breathe.
“You can go harder if you’d like.” You whisper, a tiny whimper leaving you as he starts nipping at your pulse point.
“Are you sure?” He asks against your skin and you’re grateful he’s not making you face him. You’d probably kill him if he stopped, you need him to keep going, and if he could see the tears in your eyes right now you know without a doubt that he would. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t, it’s okay, baby.” You soothe him, raking your fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck in a move that makes him shiver and twitch inside you. “I want it.”
His response is a deep thrust and a guttural moan that makes your breath hitch. He starts to pick up speed and you cling onto him as you let the sounds flow out of you however they choose.
“I’m getting close, baby.” Mingi moans into your ear, snaking one of his hands between your bodies and down to your clit, rubbing it with just enough pressure to make you see stars. “Think you can come for me one last time?”
“I-” The sharpness of his thrusts cuts you off and you have to put every ounce of focus that you possess into answering him. “I think so.”
“Then do it.” He growls as he makes you turn your head to face him, seeing but not really registering your tear-filled eyes in his frenzied lust. “Come for me, baby. Show me how good I make you feel.”
It’s too much, all of it.
With a cry you come, your eyes scrunched shut as the entirety of your body locks up while you pulse and clench around him harder than he’s ever felt it before.
Your release pushes him over the edge as well and unable to stop himself, he bites down on your shoulder as he fucks his way through his orgasm.
His body trembles as your sporadic clenching helps him through the aftershocks, and he collapses on top of you, too out of it to not put all of his bodyweight on you, but you don’t mind. Your arms shake as they wrap around his neck, pulling him even further into you, quiet sobs racking your body as you do your best not to let him hear them.
But as he comes down from his high, it’s impossible to hide them from him. You wish you could just stop them but all the tension has finally decided to leave your body and it’s giving you no mercy as you just can’t seem to stop crying.
“Are you okay, angel?” Mingi asks worriedly, pulling you down to lay on his chest as his hands flitter over your face and body, checking you for injuries.
“Mhm.” You manage to get out between sobs, hugging him closer until you’re sure you must be hurting him.
“Did I hurt you?”
You can tell he wants to keep looking you over but your hold on him is too tight for him to manage so the best he can do is caress your back and wait for you to be able to form words.
“N-no.” You manage, shaking your head as strongly as you can, burrowing your face into his chest as you let the scent of him wrap around you like a fluffy blanket of comfort.
“Is it all just a bit overwhelming right now?” He asks with the softest chuckle you’ve heard from him, the worry almost completely faded from his voice.
“Mhm.” You nod, giving a frantic little whimper when he tries to pull out, nails leaving crescent indentations in his skin from trying to keep him immobile.
“Alright, baby.” He shushes you gently, settling again as he lets you warm his cock, kissing and caressing your hair and body to help bring you back down to earth. “I’m right here, not going anywhere.”
A bit of the tension in your body eases but you’re still clinging onto him like he’s about to walk out the door and never come back. It’s rare for you to go this deep, to be reduced to the primal instinct of claiming and keeping him to this extent, but with everything that’s been going on it’s not really surprising.
“Mingi…” You whisper once you start coming back to yourself, watery eyes staring up at him as you’re doing your best to keep breathing him in. “Please don’t shut me out again. Not like this.”
You know your words hurt him more than he’ll ever admit, the tightened grip on you a clear sign of it, but it needs to be said and you both know it.
“I promise, baby.” He whispers back, voice thick with unshed tears, in between the soft kisses he plants all over your face. “I’m so sorry I’ve been shutting you out. I promise I’ll do better.”
“I love you, Mingi, so much.” You say, giving him a watery smile as you release the iron grip you have on him, reaching up to wipe the lone tear staining his cheek. “And I’ll remind you every single day for the rest of our lives if you’ll let me.”
“I thought we had a veto on you doing the proposing.” He jokes but for once you can tell he’s not trying to change the subject because he’s overwhelmed.
“But not on me showing you how much you mean to me.” You chuckle, craning your neck to kiss him properly, pouring all your love into it.
“You know worshipping is a kink, right?” He says, tone a little breathier as you move down to kiss his neck.
“So is praising but that’s never stopped you, has it?” You comment lightly, pulling back a little when you feel him getting hard again inside you. “If you got to fuck me like you wanted, does that mean I get to do the same?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He watches you carefully, trying to tell if you’re serious and if you can actually handle any more.
“Do you want it?” You simply ask, letting your fingers caress the side of his neck that you’re not smothering with kisses. “It’s okay if you don’t.”
“You know I always want you, baby.” He breathes, eyes fluttering closed as you suck on his pulse point, determined to leave your mark on him knowing he doesn’t have the same hang-up you do about visible hickeys.
“Good.” You simply say once the mark is your preferred shade of dark, slowly but surely moving to straddle him, promptly getting him back inside when he slips out of you at the movement. “I don’t have to be in the office next week so feel free to mark me up as much as you want.”
“Seriously?” He looks so fucking giddy you can’t help but laugh.
“You’re acting like it’s your birthday.”
“It might as well be.” He grins before pulling you to him, chest to chest as his lips positively attack your neck, his hands going to your hips to start moving you against him. “How the fuck did the universe ever think I deserved you?”
“Because you’re a kind, sensitive, ambitious, beautiful and bright man who deserves the world and more.” You breathe, grinding down on him, grinning when you feel his breath hitch against your neck. “You’re a great friend, brother, son, artist, and boyfriend, and anyone who says differently has no fucking idea what they’re talking about.”
Your words leave him twitching inside you and the beautifully pathetic sounds that tumble out of his mouth make you clench around him.
“You feel so good, baby.” He moans before sucking a particularly dark mark into your neck that leaves your own breath stuttering. “Do you think you can come again?”
“No,” You chuckle at the way he jerks when you play with his nipples, the tension in his body a tell-tale sign that he’s getting close. “But it’s okay, I’m having a great time right now.”
“You sure?” He asks but you know he can tell you’re telling him the truth, and you clench around him as you claim his lips in a deep kiss, the moan tumbling out of him and down your throat making you shiver.
“Positive.” You grin against him as you increase your pace, hugging him to you as you continue to kiss him, the taste of his tongue as addictive as always. “Now be a good boy and come for me. Show me how good I make you feel.”
The mirroring of his words back to him along with your praise makes him fall apart, the whiny whimpers he makes against your lips telling you that it’s actually starting to hurt. That doesn’t mean that you’ll stop grinding on him to work him through his orgasm however. His love for the delicious discomfort makes him such a wonderful submissive for you at times and you just love pushing him to the edge and keep going until his brain is nothing but mush.
You let him come down before you move, pressing gentle kisses over his cheeks, nose and lips between whispered praises of what a good boy he is, caressing his back and neck until his eyes regain a bit of focus and his limbs are able to move again.
“Hi.” You giggle as he wraps his weak arms around your waist, leaning his forehead against yours, his breath tickling your skin.
“Hey.” He grins back, the fucked out, dopey kind of grin that’s reserved for your eyes only, his mouth hanging open as he tries to catch his breath.
“Are you hungry now?” You ask through laughter, the tension from the last two weeks gone with the wind, leaving only love and relaxation in its wake.
“You know what,” He chuckles, pressing a light kiss to the tip of your nose that leaves you overheated. “I could definitely eat something.”
“Good, I’ll get a bath going. Then after that we’re ordering dinner and cuddling up on the couch.” You say, nuzzling up against him, your heart content for the first time in the last two weeks. “There are three new episodes of our show and I haven’t watched a single one without you.”
“I told you,” Mingi says, his eyes fluttering closed as he presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. “Fucking perfect.”