Work Text:
Khaotung is driving them back to First's place, as they decided to spend the night there after the busy two days of events they've had: the LOL2025 press tour and the Top Spender’s event today.
First is uncharacteristically quiet, looking out the window for the whole ride. Soft music plays through the radio. Khaotung keeps glancing towards First, but he never looks his way and keeps staring out the window.
They arrive at First's apartment and step inside. First stands against the kitchen counter, while Khaotung is behind the couch, in the corridor leading to First's bedroom. First, with his arms crossed, glares at Khaotung, looking completely defeated. Khaotung, on the other hand, just looks exhausted. They began this conversation right after the event ended, as they were walking to Khaotung's car. Khaotung thought it was over, but clearly, it’s not. First shifts slightly, preparing to speak again.
"Khaotung, please."
"Fir, stop."
"Please."
"We've talked about this."
"I'm losing it Tung. I need... I need you. Please. I'm drowning."
"Fir, stop."
"No! No Tung. Why should I stop? I don't get it. You love me."
"I do."
"I love you."
"I know."
"So why Tung? Why? I want you. Please."
"First. Don't do this to me. It's not easy for me either. We agreed didn't we?"
"I didn't, you..."
"No, Fir. We!" Khaotung says, pointing at both of them. "We agreed. We have so much hanging on this. Hanging on us. Our work, Fir. Our friendship. I love you too much to risk this for us."
"Don't. Don't say you love me when you are denying me again. It hurts Tung. It hurts so much."
"But I do love you. You know I do. We've talked about this. You know why we can't. You know this, Fir. We just need to hold out a little while. Let's give everything we can to our careers, without this distraction. We owe that to ourselves. Don't we?"
First moves closer to Khaotung, trapping him against the wall, while looking him straight in the eyes.
"I want you. Khaotung. I want you. I need you. I'm falling apart. Please. Just for today."
"Fir."
"Kiss me. Kiss me Tung. Do you want me to kneel and beg. I will." He says while dropping down to his knees.
"Stop it! Why are you doing this? Fuck Fir!"
"Please," First says, even quieter this time, his voice just above a whisper, as tears start trickling down his face. "Please, kiss me."
"Fir," Khaotung says softly, cupping his cheek, but his resolve crumbles as he sees First's tears. He really wants him this bad? He thinks. It hurts because he does too. He is only trying to protect them and the promise they made to each other. But there is only so much he can take. And watching First break down isn't part of it.
He then slowly moves his head forward and captures First's bottom lip. Both their breaths hitch. The feeling is so intense that Khaotung starts crying as well. First wraps his hands around Khaotung's waist while pulling him closer, and Khaotung wraps his hands around his neck. They are breathing heavily into each other's mouths while they both sob softly. They continue kissing. Taking it all in and First can't believe it is actually happening even though It is very bittersweet.
He detaches their lips first as they are both running out of breath, but they keep their hands wrapped around each other. He leans his head against Khao's forehead and whispers, 'Thank you.'
Khao lifts his eyes to meet First's and they are red from the tears. He stares into Fir's eyes and tries to say something but is unable to because he is choking up. Instead, he latches onto his lips again and First is caught off guard that he stumbles backwards a bit but gives into the kiss and continues licking into Khao's mouth. They are back to breathing heavily and on the brink of losing all control. He considers moving them to the bedroom but he knows there wouldn't be any turning back once they go in there. He decides to move them to the couch instead which is just behind them. He guides Khaotung around the couch without stopping the kiss. He positions himself strategically so that the moment he sits onto the couch, Khaotung follows him and settles on his lap with his legs straddling First's thighs.
Khaotung is so lost in the kiss. He does not even register all that is happening. First pulls him close by his hips and Khaotung moans into his mouth while gripping the back of his head and the other hand gripping First's hair tighter. They explore each other's mouths for five minutes straight while holding each other very tightly.
"I love you so much." Khaotung says eventually just after he stops the kiss.
"I love you more than you will ever know." First says. "Thank you again for this. It's going to be enough. For now. I understand you. I understand what we agreed on and I'm sorry for losing my shit."
"It's okay. Don't apologize. I know this is very difficult, but we need to be strong, Fir. I believe that eventually, everything will fall into place, and it will all work out on its own. I believe that because we love each other so much, and nothing will come between us. Let's hold on a little bit longer, mmh? I believe in us. We will make it. Okay?"
"Okay." First says while trying to smile.
"Good." Khaotung kisses First's forehead and begins to wipe the tears off his cheeks, and First just melts into it.
"You want to eat or shower first?" Khao asks.
"I will shower first." First responds. He knows he needs to go cool himself down if he wants to get any sleep at all tonight.
"Alright, I will prepare the food for us." Khao says.
He hugs him one last time, and First squeezes him tighter. They stay like that for 20 more seconds, then Khao whispers, 'Okay, let's go.'
He lifts himself up from First's lap and immediately heads to the kitchen without turning around. First holds his face in his hands and sighs deeply. Then, he gets up and heads to the bathroom.
This is going to be really hard, for both of them. But they can find comfort in knowing they love each other and will always be there for each other. When the time is right, they will go all in and enjoy their love fully, without reservations.