Archive of Our Own

Among the thousands of scenarios that had crossed his mind, living under the same roof with a stranger had never actually occurred to Brian. Well, maybe ‘stranger’ is no longer a relevant word. For several years abroad, perhaps almost three years he shared an apartment with this man—Jaehyung, or Jae for short. The tall, slender man who is now busy being a corporate slave can be said to be Brian's college friend. Yeah, if only the fact that the two of them never interacted during college didn't need to be emphasized.

Brian never really knew Jae during college, he only knew because Jae was quite active as an organization dude. He even has a good reputation as a badminton champ too. In fact, it would sound really nerdy if Brian didn't know him.

Coming from different majors, and even different faculties, there was no specific reason for the two of them to get to know each other further. Only each other's names are known, and perhaps there have also been several brief encounters that neither party was aware of. It's funny how their red threads only connected after graduation day.

Soon after securing a job as a music teacher at an academy, Brian decides to move out of his old boarding house, and plans to rent an apartment. The reason is simple, Brian needs a larger space, and also to be closer to where he will teach. Unfortunately, finding a comfortable apartment in a dense urban area is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand. When he managed to get a cheap price, the condition of the residence made Brian shake his head. And once he got the right one, the rental price seemed to want to drain Brian's wallet. In that situation, the universe presented Jae.

Like two fish in one pond, they are both in the same situation—trying to find a new place to live for work. At that time, Jae was also looking for a place to live that was close to his new office when he accidentally met Brian at an apartment complex, both of them were looking around. 

It felt as if fate had given him a solution. The second the two recognized each other as alumni friends, their conversation developed without the slightest awkwardness. It just flowed, even to the point that the two of them agreed to rent an apartment together, agreeing to share the rent equally.

Saving money is always a priority at that time, especially when the financial situation is not yet stable enough. So Brian didn't think too much. Sharing a place isn't that bad after all, right?

They managed to get a strategic place, in the middle of the city and close to many daily needs. Of course the price is not cheap, but it doesn't matter because now they each only pay half. 

Their apartment has a fairly spacious living room, a kitchen plus it sets, a bathroom, and even a balcony with a pretty good view of the city. What is quite unfortunate is that there is only one bedroom. This was a dilemma at first, but it didn't last long after the two of them decided to solve the problem by buying an additional mattress. So even though it’s one room, there are two beds. Well, it's not a big deal after all.

And when it comes to living with other people, of course there will be some spikes. Disputes regarding several things at home cannot be avoided. Starting from small things like putting towels carelessly, or forgetting to close the window when staying up late at night. Of course, both require a little time to adjust. However, fortunately for both Brian and Jae, neither was reluctant to communicate.

Until now, there has never been a big problem that led to a big fight. They made agreements about various things. They get to know each other much better, and perhaps even grow a much closer relationship as well. Brian was confident not to call Jae a ‘stranger’ again. The foreign feeling had long disappeared. Replaced by a comfortable feels that made Brian who he is today.

The black-haired man stepped out of the elevator which had just stopped on his floor, both hands full of shopping bags. Today, Brian came home earlier than usual. If usually at six o'clock he still has to teach a private session, today he can return to his apartment. Well, the teaching session was canceled for one or two reasons. 

He also took the time to stop by the supermarket on his way home—carrying out the monthly shopping agenda which was supposed to be Jae's task this month. Since living together, he and Jae have made an agreement regarding their monthly stock of goods. They have made a list of all the items they need together, and they will take turns carrying out shopping tasks every month. 

However, this time it's a bit different. The person on duty was a little busier than usual. Recently, the man seems to be carried away by work. He stayed at the office longer and always came home later than usual. What Brian knew was that the man was being forced to take on many projects. Ah, he understands how tiring it is.

Therefore, after getting a message from Jae saying that he would be a little late, Brian took over Jae's shopping duties. At least he wanted to lighten the man's workload, even if only a little.

Brian unlocked the door to his apartment as soon as he arrived at the front, although at first it was a little difficult since his hands were full. Brian turned on the light. If you look around, their apartment is actually not that big. The design also tends to be simple, default from the developer. There weren't many personal items, at most just a small photo frame containing a printed selfie of them holding a giant cake when celebrating house-moving. Brian said he wanted to display it so their apartment would liven up and look lived in. 

This one is decent enough for two grown-up men to live together. In fact, sometimes it feels a bit lonely when you're alone like this.

After taking off his shoes, Brian stepped into the kitchen to arrange his shopping. According to the list, he bought various foodstuffs, toiletries, medicine stock, and didn't forget several snacks which he had chosen very selectively to ensure that Jae wasn't allergic to any of them. 

Living together for so long, Brian felt like he almost knew by heart various things about Jae. Starting from various allergies that he can no longer count, the foods he likes and doesn't, to Jae's strange sleeping habits. Brian doesn't mind those little things taking up his head space.

Looks like after this he will start cooking dinner. Their busy routine actually makes them eat out more often, but since Brian has time today, he will prepare something. Maybe also a little cleaning considering their last cleaning day was several weeks ago. As Brian remembers, now should be Jae's schedule for cleaning?

The black-haired man looked around, dust had started to settle in many places. Brian remembered the day Jae sneezed brutally while cleaning the dust. Poor, but cute. Maybe everything about him is cute.

Smiling faintly, Brian glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, it was past six o'clock. He should still have enough time before Jae comes home.

•••

“Oh, God. Finally.”

His back, stiff with fatigue, fell against the back of the chair. Heavy breathing immediately flowed accompanied by a rough snort from the brown-haired man. Finally, after many hours of not moving in front of the screen, Jae finished his final report for today. 

The coffee cup on his table was only a quarter full. Jae felt like his head was going to explode any minute. Taking off his glasses, his tired hands, which had been typing on the keyboard for too long, moved to rub his eyes, which were a little red from staring at the laptop for too long. Well, it can't be helped, all these deadlines are fighting for attention to be completed first. 

The sound of a knock on the door caught Jae's attention for a moment. At the same time, the wooden door opened to reveal one of his co-workers, Wonpil, sticking his head out, "Man, you're done?"

Jae only glanced briefly, his eyes preferring to close while his back enjoyed the back of the chair, "Hm, I think I nearly broke my neck."

"I’m heading home." The man at the door came in with a brown envelope to put on Jae's desk, "Here, from Sungjin, the meeting materials for tomorrow."

“Thanks.”

"Better get your ass home too, you look like a sick monkey."

Wonpil's words made Jae open his tired eyes once again. He no longer had the energy to give a cynical look. He just stared lazily with those sad, faint eyes bags, "Is that a compliment for my hard work or what?"

“Obviously no.”

“Ugh, you stupid snake.”

Wonpil chuckled a little, his hand spontaneously reaching out to gently pat Jae's head and shake it a little, "Okay, now just get out of here. Go home, rest, have some food, and sleep."

“Shit, stop it.” Not even a few seconds later, Jae immediately moved his head away from Wonpil's hand. His movements were very fast, seemed not too happy with his co-worker's actions, "You’re giving me a fucking migraine."

Wonpil raised an eyebrow, “Bro that’s called a pat-pat? I'm trying to give you that so called appreciation—”

“That’s gross.”

“Damn, it gets rid of your negative—”

"Yeah yeah whatever, just do it to someone else." Lazy to argue, Jae chose to turn off his laptop before getting up from his chair to tidy up his things, ready to go home. Wonpil pursed his lips. Well, for someone who likes to express things with physical contact, Jae, aka the most allergic to touch dude, often clashes with him. No wonder they look like the Tom and Jerry of the office. 

Jae checked his phone, there were no other notifications apart from work emails. Ah, that's enough for today. Initially, he intended to send Brian a message before going home, but decided against it because he thought Brian would already be home. He didn't need to disturb his rest, after all he held the spare key to their apartment.

Jae glanced at the clock, the short hand had passed the number seven. What a long day.

•••

What Jae expected the second he opened the apartment door, was the condition of the living room being empty, and maybe a little messed up. However, these bad expectations instantly shattered when the neat room surrounded by warm welcoming his eyes. Since when did his apartment become this clean? The lights inside were not too bright, no clothes scattered around, or things placed carelessly. Jae stood in the doorway, his ears faintly caught the sound of a vacuum cleaner followed by the sticking of someone's head from the kitchen.

"Oh, you’re home?" Who else if not Brian. His smile bloomed at Jae's presence, even though all that could be seen was his languid expression.

"You’re... cleaning up?" The man in the doorway's voice was soft.

“Yeah, but it's all done though. I'll prepare dinner after this.” Jae could hear the sound of hand-washing before the man in the kitchen came into view. With a home t-shirt, and the black hair that was slightly wet like it had been washed. Looks like Brian already came home a while ago.

Jae took off his shoes before stepping in, only to be greeted by Brian who suddenly stretched out both hands, "Welcome back."

Jae was silent, his expression formed something unreadable as he looked at Brian who stretched his arms in front of him. Well, he’s one hundred percent understands the hug invitation. If you’re willing to know, this way of welcoming is like Brian’s routine.

The corner of Brian's lips rose slightly as Jae refused to react, "You look so fucked up."

“…well.” A heavy sigh escaped the brown-haired, he threw his briefcase onto the sofa, "I am."

Brian chuckled. Still in the same position, watching Jae take off his black suit while starting to grumble, "My head hurts, my neck hurts, my back hurts, I think I'm gonna die tomorrow⁠—"

“Here.”

Brian's movements pulled Jae too fast until the man didn't realize when he was caught in a hug. Jae gasped a little, brain went blank for a moment along with his body going stiff in a second, "B- Bri, what the—"

“Your back hurts?” Brian asked in a soft voice, almost a whisper. His hand behind him gently patted Jae's back.

Jae’s still in his silent. As he said earlier, this was like a routine⁠—for Brian. He knew very well that Jae was not a person who was friendly with touch. However, he still always offered, inviting Jae into his arms every night after finishing a long day. Jae would normally refuse, he’s always a bit awkward with this kind of thing. But now, he doesn't have the strength to fight back.

“...Mm.” Jae just mumbled a little in response. His breath was flowing heavily, his eyes began to feel hard to open completely.

"Take a hot shower after this." Brian smiled, realizing Jae wasn't trying to push him, "I've prepared the heater."

"...m’ head hurts." Jae whined in a slightly muffled voice as his head was hidden in the crook of Brian's neck. 

"Skipping lunch, again?"

"No time, bro."

"Tsk, don't make a habit of it." Without having to see Brian's face, Jae knew the man's forehead was definitely furrowed. Brian often scolded him if he was caught missing lunch, "I offer you a fucking lunch box every day, but you're just too stupid and leave it every time."

“Hmmm..”

Jae didn't bother to respond. Either he was too heavy to talk, or he was slowly starting to drift away. Brian is warm, his body temperature is always warmer than Jae. He was sure this wasn't just because his body was cold. And Jae also felt one thing, can a person's body be so pillowy like this?

When he remembered that now it was Brian who had his arms around his body⁠—his roommate who used to be annoying⁠—Jae still felt strange. However, his body didn't really reject it. If not, how could the hug last this long? It was long enough for Jae to get lost in comfort until without realizing it, his hands seemed to be hypnotized to return Brian's hug. Jae's hands were almost around Brian's waist, if only the younger one hadn't suddenly hit Jae hard on the back, causing the man to open his eyes in shock, "Fuck—!"

Brian's strokes turned into a series of hard smacks along Jae's spine. Really hard, until the brunette almost winced because of it, "Dude, dude, what the fuck?!"

The perpetrator chuckled slightly before finally stopping and letting go of the hug. Brian wasn't sure whether Jae's face was relieved or disappointed, "Take a shower first, I'm making dinner."

“Ck, you almost broke my bone.”

“Said you got some back pain, I'm just trying to help?” Brian answered innocently as he removed the tie that was already loosely tied around Jae's neck, ignoring the owner's sour expression, "I haven't even crushed you with my hug.”

“Cool, prefer to get killed by you rather than work.”

Brian chuckled once again. Sounds like Jae's words weren't entirely a joke. Maybe, Jae would truly prefer to give up on Brian, prefer to let his guard down towards the man. Cause sometimes, Brian always had the way to make him forget all the bad things for a moment.

•••

The smell of stir-fried meat was the first thing Jae noticed when he stepped out of the bathroom. Finished with cleaning, Jae's work suit has now replaced by his usual t-shirt, glasses are no longer perched on his nose, his wet brown hair falls over his forehead and part of his eyes. Even so, he could still clearly see the figure standing in front of the kitchen counter, seemingly busy with a spatula and pan in his hands. 

With languid steps, Jae approached the figure. The distinctive aroma of sauce grew stronger as his steps approached. Jae already knew what was on the menu tonight when his head peeked at the pieces of meat covered in the brownish sauce Brian is cooking, teriyaki.

"You done?" Brian asked without bothering to turn his head, he could already feel Jae's presence behind him.

"Hm, water’s still a bit cold though, did you turn the heater right?"

"Man, you can't be too hot, remember? Allergies will strike."

Instead of listening to Brian, Jae reached out his hand intending to grab a piece of meat from the pan. At least, before Brian lightly slapped his hand, "Not yet, kids."

"Khh.." Jae snorted, to be honest his stomach was already making some little noises considering he hadn't eaten anything all day. The man chose to rest his chin on Brian's shoulder. Eyes still watching the pieces of meat dancing on the pan. 

“....Bri.”

“Hm?”

"Why are you hugging me a lot?"

Brian's hands stopped stirring the meat for a few seconds, a thin frown formed on his forehead at Jae's sudden question.

"You keep giving me a fucking jumpscare." Jae continued, highlighting the wrinkles on Brian's forehead.

“...what kind of question is that?” Brian responded back with a question instead, "Do you need a reason to hug someone?"

“Man, everything needs a reason.” 

"Well, there's no reason? It's just my thing? I’m kind of happy if someone gives me a hug when I’m weary, so I just simply do the same for others?" Brian explained, back to adding some seasonings to his cooking, "I think it feels good though, they say hug relieves stress.”

“....”

“Does it feel bad?”

There was a brief pause before Jae responded, his voice’s small, "...well, not really." 

And who knows what came over the man, in the next second, Jae's hands slowly wrapped around Brian's waist, hugging the man from behind. Brian suddenly gasped in surprise, but didn't make any significant movements that might startle Jae. Only froze when suddenly felt Jae's body pressed against his back. 

“It's a bit gross but.. yeah.” Still with the same low volume, this time Jae's voice sounded right in Brian's ear, "Think you can be a stress ball.”

“H- Huh?” The frown once again appeared along with a stuttering words due to the shock that had not yet disappeared, "Stress ball?"

"You’re pillowy, told you." 

Spatula almost slipped from his hand when Jae's warm breath greeted his right ear without permission. Goosebumps ran through his body in instant. Brian didn't dare to turn his head as he knew that Jae's face would be right next to his face by now. Coincidentally, their cheeks are slightly rubbing together, or are they rubbed on purpose? He feels like Jae is smashing their cheeks. Not only his body, the man realized that Brian's cheeks were also this pillowy? That man does have slightly chubbier cheeks.

Sometimes without his own knowing, Jae needs this kind of stuff.

"Did you change shampoo?"

Once again, random questions that came out of nowhere spilled from Jae's mouth. The change in topic was too sudden for Brian, "What?"

The friction of Jae's nose sniffing Brian's black hair became the answer, "You smell a bit different."

“O- Oh.” Even though the black-haired man is now more relaxed, for some reason his voice is still a bit stuttering, "Well, the usual stuff hasn't been restocked when I came earlier, so I think I’m just gonna buy something else instead of taking it too long. It's not that bad, right?”

The warm sensation around his scalp grew stronger as Jae inhaled more deeply the fragrance from Brian's hair, "No, smells nice."

His body became increasingly tense. Jae's grip down there didn't get any less tight. Brian seemed to have to hold his breath. Trying to ignore the butterflies that seemed to be fluttering in his stomach by now.

"When will it done?" Jae chirped again. His chin rested back on Brian's shoulder, looking at the food on the pan which had not been ready for a damn eternity. This time Brian grabbed a chopsticks to get a piece of meat and directed it to Jae's mouth, "Try."

Opening his mouth, Jae accepted the mouthful with pleasure. His cheeks puffed out a little as he chewed, "...well, good as always.”

“....”

“I think your cooking is getting good.”

The corners of Brian's lips lifted slightly. In fact, it wasn't too long ago that he learned to cook—at first it was just to save money, but over time he quite enjoyed his new activity. Being able to prepare your own food for people who love to eat seems like fun, right? And even though he’s still far from the word expert, Jae is always the first in line to praise his cooking, always saying that he looks like a chef, and even thinks that some of Brian's dishes are better than any food brands out there. Brian feels quite honored.

"Move, I'm gonna get the plate." Brian shooed which made a whining sound come out of Jae's mouth. The man's embrace tightened, completely burying his face in the crook of Brian's neck. Reluctant to let go of the man who had difficulty moving to take the plate, "Man, get the fuck off before the sauce burns."

Trying to free himself, Brian had to use his strength first before the man behind him wanted to let go of his grip. Even like that, Jae is still grumbling, Sometimes dude is hard to understand.

While Brian prepared the plates and table, Jae lazily decided to get freshly cooked rice from the cooker. Scooping it into two small bowls, “Bri, up for extra rice?”

"Sure. thank you."

Jae already knows how much Brian's portions usually are, thanks to his keen eye which likes to observe. After taking an extra portion of rice for his friend, he moved to the dining table where Brian was already sitting in one of the chairs. 

Dinner started as usual. Yes, usual. This also includes the routine. If no one was working overtime, almost every day they would have a dinner together. With light conversation, or sometimes just in silence. Comfortable silence.

"So.." Brian was the one who finally broke the silence, "You're not going to tell me how your day was?"

“Sucks.” Jae answered without taking his attention from his food, "An usual shitty day."

“How’s the usual?”

"Well, papers piling up my desk, fucking tight meeting schedule, Sungjin being another hard-ass to get approval from, Wonpil with his never ending yapping. I'm so done."

Brian chuckled softly, Jae sometimes sounded a bit funny when he was nagging. His hand stealthily put some more meat into Jae's bowl while the man was busy cursing about his day. Brian only occasionally nodded, or laughed when there’s a Jae's misfortune that can be laughed at. Sometimes when we see a friend fall, we laugh first before helping them, right?

"Is there anything good?" Brian asked between chuckles.

"Good thing, I'm still alive."

Brian shook his head slightly. His smile hadn't faded when Jae returned his question, "How about you?"

“Hm? As usual.” Brian responded casually, spooning rice and meat into his mouth, "It's just that there weren't any private lessons since my client was going out of town."

"What time did you get home?"

"Around six o'clock?" Brian made a gesture of remembrance, "I could have been home since four o'clock actually, but well, need to stop for groceries first, and the bus-waiting takes a little longer."

Jae nodded a few times, his mouth a small mumble, "Sorry for making you do the groceries and stuff."

“....”

"By any chance, if I come home early, maybe I can pick you up at your class? Sounds better than waiting for the—hmph!”

Jae's words were interrupted by the large piece of meat that Brian suddenly shoved into his mouth. Preventing whatever word that almost came out of that mouth, "Eat lots."

Jae's mouth became too full to speak. His puffed cheeks gave a little adorable-effect to Brian. So that the man couldn't resist rubbing and ruffling the top of Jae's hair, just like Wonpil did in the office earlier. Logically, Jae would feel annoyed and move away in a matter of seconds. However, it seems that the logic doesn't work. He remained silent even when Brian started to patting his head slowly, "Good work for today."

Who the fuck can resist that sweet smile of brian?

“You deserve the whole plate.”

•••

“Ugh…”

Jae threw his body limply onto the bed. They had just finished dinner. And Jae, without much thought, immediately moved to the bedroom, greeting his soft bed he had missed half to death. 

The man’s lying on his back on the bed, next to which there was a wooden nightstand that separated it from Brian's bed on the right. That bed is still empty. The owner just followed into the room a few moments later. 

“Jae, want another pillow?”

Jae saw Brian come carrying several fat pillows in his hands. The sheath was still pure white, making it look new, "A new one?"

"Mhm, there was a sale on cheap goods last week."

Jae smiled faintly. When it comes to buying things, it's true that he just leaves it to Brian. The man's shopping skills could already compete with his mom, "No need, just be the pillow here.”

“Hah?”

"No."

Those words come out of Jae's mouth without filter.

"Don't sleep, your food hasn't come down yet." Brian scolded when he saw Jae who started to roll his body over to lay on his stomach, his eyes were about to close, "Jae, sleeping after eating is bad!”

"Nnh.. Can’t open my eyes..." 

"Aish... You haven't even brushed your teeth." Brian put the pillow down before approaching Jae's bed. Trying to get the big man to get out of bed, "Later you'll get another toothache and being all fussy again."

Even as he got pulled, Jae's body seemed to have glue that made it stick to the mattress. Refused to move, his eyes were also refused to open, "Ughh, you sound like my mom."

“Yeah I am, now be a good kid.”

“What—OUCH!”

Jae winced in surprise when Brian suddenly slapped his butt quite hard. The narrow eyes automatically open wide. And of course, immediately rewarding Brian with a sharp glance. The one being glanced at seems unaffected, “Get your ass move and you can sleep peacefully after that, c'mon don't be such a big baby.”

Clicking his tongue, Jae half-heartedly finally got up from the bed. Grumbling, he went to the bathroom as instructed by Brian who told him to brush his teeth. His slightly stomping footsteps made Brian either want to laugh or shake his head. 

Even though Jae is a bit older than him, there are certain moments that always make Brian look like the older one. Yes, it sometimes tests your patience, but Brian doesn't mind taking care of Jae once in a while. Brian guessed that the man must be brushing his teeth while pouting in front of the mirror right now. It's not wrong, in fact Jae was grumbling inside there. 

Brian remembered something.

A few minutes later, Jae returned from the bathroom—ready to go to bed. And, the first thing he found was Brian, lying down playing on his cell phone. Sounds normal, but here lies the problem. The man was not in his own bed, but in Jae's bed. 

"Oi!"

Brian looked up, looking casually at Jae who was already showing a confused expression in the doorway, "Oh, that was fast?"

“Why the fuck are you—”

"Here." Instead of getting up, Brian just shifted a little. Making room for Jae next to him, “What—”

"Said you want me as your pillow."

“What?!”

"Man, I’m always hearing." A thin smirk formed on Brian's lips, contrasting with the wrinkles on Jae's forehead. Did that man hear what he said earlier? Oh, Jae really needs a filter for his mouth, "No need to act dumb, bro."

“Man, I wasn't serious—”

“Oh c'mon, a little hug before bed won't kill you.” Again, Brian stretched out his hands, a very familiar invitation, "It'll help you relax, told you."

More hugging? Another hug, on the bed? Jae was still okay with the previous one, but this? Isn't it a little too…weird? That's more or less the things that appeared in Jae's head at that second.

However, instead of thinking, it seemed like Jae's brain was already too tired for today. To hell with the world, the man limped to his bed before throwing himself onto the empty space next to Brian. Without having time to do anything, Brian's hands immediately catch his body in an instant, closing the distance between their two bodies. Jae gave a small start, but didn't push. A familiar sensation immediately spread as Brian's face hid in front of the older’s chest, "Bri—"

No matter how stiff Jae is now, Brian's arms wrapped tightly around him like he is hugging a bolster pillow. Though their new pillows are being left unused right there. Jae couldn't see the man's face. But what was certain is that warmth began to spread on his own cheeks. Don't know if it’s because of the contact with Brian's body, which is always warm, or because of something else. 

For a moment, Jae really looked like someone had been cursed to become a statue. He didn't move in the slightest, he didn't even return Brian's tight hug. He could hear Brian chuckle, before finally showing his face by looking up at Jae, "Did the frame freeze?"

“....”

"Come down here, you’re the one being my pillow if you stay like that."

Frowning, finally the man who had been frozen thawed and moved down a little, so that his face was now facing Brian's chest. Brian's arms immediately wrapped around him again, "There."

“....”

“How is it?”

In contrast to his words, Jae's body tried to get a little closer to Brian, looking for the strange sensation that he refused to admit, "...gross."

Brian laughed softly. One of his hands began to move to rub the top of Jae's hair once again. His movements were slow, combing each strand of the brown hair gently. Honestly, Brian always liked Jae's hair. The man has a very healthy and thick hair at the same time. In brian's words, fluffy.

Jae took a deep breath. Gradually, feeling the knots in his body begin to loosen. Man, seriously, Brian is so soft. Guess Brian is the most comfortable thing to hug after his favorite bolster. Jae couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he hugged Brian back, "Fuck, what did you do to me..."

A thin grin appeared on Brian's face, holding back a chuckle, "Give you some magic to have a sweet dream after this." 

“How can when my nightmare is right beside me?”

“Man, you’re the nightmare.”

“Appreciate it.”

The tingling feeling in Brian's stomach intensified when Jae's hands almost seemed to be squeezing his waist, whether the man was aware or not how tightly he’s holding him. In daily, that man really is allergic to that thing called physical touch. So, Brian made sure he would record this moment as long as possible in his memory. Just him and Jae, in a space filled only with the sound of their breath. Brian wondered if Jae could hear his heartbeat in this condition.

“Bri.”

“Hm?” Jae's call briefly interrupted his thoughts. However, when Brian looked, the brown-haired man didn't look back and instead still hid his face in Brian's chest, "...thanks."

"For?"

"Well, for today." Jae's voice is a little muffled since he was snuggling down there, "I'll do double cleaning and groceries next week, or should I give you some treat?"

“Yeah, you should.” Brian replied quickly, “You should give me something more than hug.”

Jae finally raised his head, eyebrows rising slightly at Brian, "More than hug?"

“Mhm.”

"What is it?" 

"Don’t ask me." 

Raised eyebrows have now turned into frowns. Don't know if it's just Jae's mind that needs a cleaning—or his brain is running too wild, but the only thing Jae can think of when he hears something 'more than a hug' it’s just…

A kiss, right? What else could it be?

No, definitely not that one. Jae needs a filter not only for his mouth but also his brain.

"Damn man, can you just hit straight to your point? Don't get my tired brain cells to think." Jae tried to ward off his current thoughts by speaking out.

“Think harder then.” Brian replied with an innocent smile. Jae couldn't read what the man meant at all, "Or else you better buy me a crookie."

The frown on his forehead became even more visible, "That pastry with that snake-like queue?"

“Mhm, I want the brown sugar one.”

“Dude, make some sense.” Jae said dramatically, as if Brian had just declared that the earth was flat, "I'm going to get a fucking migraine just looking at the queue."

“Hahahahah!” Brian's crisp laughter erupted suddenly. Just imagining someone like Jae willing to join a crazy long queue for just one meal is beyond reason, "Well, you’re right, it wouldn't be funny if there is a news about people fainting due to a pastry queuing."

“Yeah, prefer to get killed by work rather than a fucking pastry.” 

Brian laughed again. Jae could even feel the vibrations in his chest when the man laughed. Jokes aside, Brian really doesn't need any repay. After all, he did it because he wanted to and had the time. Jae is already burdened with a lot of office matters, and as a good friend, Brian should help as much as he can, right? In fact, this is still not much for him. 

“Anyway.” Jae continued in a low voice. Brian wasn't lying when he said that their activity would help him relax more, the man's eyes were starting to feel hard to open. Jae knew it was a signal from his brain that he was sleepy, "You're the one that will get killed if you're still in my bed when I wake up..."

Brian's laughter died down, gradually leaving a small chuckle. He knew that even if Jae let him be now, there was no way he would let Brian sleep in his bed until morning. Brian had done it once, and the next morning he found himself waking up on the hard floor from being kicked by Jae, "Yeah, yeah..." 

“....”

“Good night, then?”

“...night.” Closing his eyes, Jae made his final movement by pressing himself against the human pillow beside him. Not only his hands, his feet reflexively wanted to entangle each other with Brian's.

A new thing has been added to his dictionary, his roommate is very cuddly. 

Brian's right hand returned to its work, giving several gentle strokes to the strands of brownish hair. Carefully escorted the man who seemed to be being pulled into sleep. Brian wasn't sure if Jae could still hear his whispers after that.

“Sweet dreams, J.”

All Brian heard was the sound of soft snoring - as expected, the man fell asleep very quickly. 

It would be best for Brian to immediately follow him to dreamland, he doesn't want to be left alone here. Wherever Jae is, that's where he should be, even if it's in the dreamland. Brian smiled faintly before drowsiness invaded his head. One thing that may never been stated by words, he always made Jae his home - a place where he can always come as he is, a place where he’s free to spell love through every touch of his hands. That’s why, he also wanted to make himself the same home for Jae. Nothing more, nothing less.

There is one thing that still often haunts his mind, though.

Did roommates do the things they do?

•••

Today is another slow day.

It seems like Brian should be grateful that his days as a music teacher are not that crazily busy. The teaching agenda is always quite flexible. And even if it gets busy at some point, at least he can still get time to breathe. 

Like now. Instead of being in class, his footsteps walked along the city sidewalk during the day. The time when the sun shines directly overhead doesn't sound like a good time for a walk. The hot air stings the skin, not to mention the noise on the road with vehicles honking at each other. Ah, if it weren't for his stomach dying of curiosity about the new pastry, Brian would have chosen to stay in his room now.

Brian wondered if that patisserie still had a line. The last time he passed, the queue actually snaked down the street. He just hoped his lunch hour would be enough to at least buy some pastries for him, and for Jae too, of course.

That man who’s now definitely busy with his laptop in his office always used to skip lunch⁠—maybe that was one thing Brian didn't like about him. Brian was already foaming at the mouth for reminding that dude, he had offered some lunch box too. But still, he often found Jae with an empty stomach all day. What's the point of working hard making tons of money if you end up getting sick? Brian will make sure Jae gets his food today.

That’s why, he’s on a call with the man right now.

“What? That’s so uncommon of you calling me at this hour."

Jae's voice came from the other side. Brian had to activate his speaker feature so that Jae's voice wouldn't be overshadowed by the sound of cars, "I'm on a break, gotta buy something to eat. Want me to take it to your office?"

"Huh?" This time Jae's voice sounded louder, "No need, I've had my lunch—"

"Stop your lying ass."

"What? Man, seriously, I’m in a—"

Jae's sentence was cut off by a boisterous voice that came from nowhere. Brian frowned, Jae seemed to be in a place full of humans.

"Why sounds so crowded?”

"W- Well, told you I’m having my seat in cafeteria⁠—”

Suddenly a loud car horn noise sounded from the phone.

"Uhh, there's a fucking car in your office cafeteria?"

“....”

A long pause intervened between them. Brian waited for a response with a total confused look. Jae? Don't know, who knows what the man is doing there. Ain't no way there's a fucking literal car roaming around in a cafeteria, right?

"Uh, I’m in an offsite meeting, actually." Jae's voice finally rose again after a while, "Nevermind, what I’m trying to say is, just don’t buy any food by now.”

“What?”

"Buy it later, it's not exactly lunch time yet, isn't it?"

"But I want to—"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I gotta go. I'll call you back later okay, bye."

The call ended unilaterally. Brian immediately looked at his phone with raised eyebrows, what the fuck was that? Brian intended to make another call, before he realized that he was only a few steps from his destination patisserie.

And sure enough, he can see the queue had overflowed to the street. People lined up quite long on the walkway, waiting their turn to enter the shop which also seemed to be full inside. Judging from the length and time the queue moved, it looked like Brian's legs had to be ready to stand for at least an hour.

The rows of people were mostly dominated by girls, so anything that stood out easily caught Brian's attention. A man in a suit stood in the middle, towering over the other diners, even when his head was bowed because he was busy playing with his phone. Brian's black eyes suddenly rounded. Jae? Isn't that Jae?!

Brian had to blink several times to confirm his vision. Brown hair, glasses perched on the nose⁠, and of course the exact same suit Jae wore this morning—there was no mistaking it, it was Jae.

Jae in a line of a patisserie? Did he just got hit on the head?

A memory tape played in Brian's head automatically. The bedtime conversation with Jae last night immediately came to mind; You better buy me a crookie.

As Brian remembers, the man flatly refused, too lazy to struggle with the queue which he said could trigger an absolute migraine.

But now? Why the fuck he’s there? Brian couldn't think of any other reason behind it, if it wasn't ‘him’.

Brian's heart suddenly started beating really fast for no reason. A strange feeling erupted in his chest, as if releasing butterflies to flutter freely in his stomach. The corners of his lips unconsciously lifted slightly. Does he have the right to assume that this was for him? Without having time to think, his hand seemed to move on its own to press the call button on his cell phone once again. And from the distance, Brian could see Jae moving to pick up the call from him, followed by another annoyed intonation which immediately came out of Brian's speaker.

“What else—”

“Thank you.”

“Hah?”

Brian observed Jae who looked confused on the other end. It feels a bit funny to be on the phone with someone you can even see in front of your eyes, “...thank you for what?”

Brian can’t help but chuckles, “Just thank you, this is an early thank you.”

“Dude? What the fuck with you⁠—”

And this time, Brian's mouth lost its brakes.

“I love you.”

Silence, a long pause soon came between them again. This time it was really long, much much longer. From the distance, Brian saw Jae's frozen figure. His hand still held the phone next to his ear, his body did not move at all, except for the back of his hand which slowly rose to cover his mouth. Even though he couldn't see the man's face clearly, Brian knew that a tinge of color must be decorating his face by now.

Jae's response only came out after a while, "....no homo, bro." 

"Yeah yeah, don’t need to be so red."

“What—”

“Turn right.”

Like a horror movie scene, Jae's neck turned stiffly to the right. Welcoming the sight of Brian waving at him, not forgetting the sweet sugar-like smile that etched on his face. Jae's jaw almost dropped at that second, “BRI⁠—”

Brian made sure he would hug Jae into pieces tonight.

[].