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"Haru, I..." Rin tried to act mature, swallowing hard repeatedly so his habit of stuttering when nervous wouldn't get in the way "I want to tell you something."
It was impossible not to feel nervous. Not when that whirlwind in his blue eyes seemed ready to swallow him whole.
"Since when do you ask for permission?"
Haru's usual coldness wasn't helping either.
"Since I feel like I should give you a chance to escape from this."
They were at the pool, a place specifically chosen knowing this was where Haruka would feel the safest.
Sitting closer to the other at the edge of the pool, Rin started playing with his own fingers in order to ignore the impulse that made him want to wrap the other in his arms.
Yet, it wasn't enough. His heart always craved at least one bit of Haruka —so Rin chose to tangle their limbs underwater.
"I should be worried. You thinking before speaking..." Turning to show his offence, that rare smile stopped him on his tracks "You know I would never escape from you, Rin." Haru was smiling at him, half-heartedly, the classic Haru smiles that, despite being brief, still made Rin melt. “That’s just a you thing”
"H-hey! O-ok-okay..." Yep. Rin was definitely going to die from embarrassment today.
Good thing was he'd never live to see Haruka reject him.
This was harder than he thought, confronting his own feelings and open his chest to the person he most adores is more challenging than winning an Olympic Gold Medal.
No matter how much he tried, swimming on Haru’s waters will always be challenging. Luckily, that’s what made Rin fall in love, so he took fresh air, filling his longs and expulsing his nerves.
"So?" Haru turned fully towards him, the closeness making Rin pull back a little. "Don't run away now, tell me."
"I like..." He closed his eyes and took a breath, looking towards the water, trying to draw from its calmness in vain, feeling lost. "It's just that you... Are you...? I- do you like.. maybe- Uhm... I mean, what are we?"
That was not what he wanted to ask.
Blue eyes widened for a second, as if surprise was submerged within them—but before it could be brought to light, it hid away again.
"What do you mean?"
That was the greatest of questions. What did he mean?
"You're right. That was a shitty question" Bittersweet laugh made Haru cover his intertwined fingers with his own palm "I'm your rival —I'm sure of it. Me winning last race was a good reminder. But I consider you a friend as well-"
Was he friendzoning Haru in the middle of the confession?
"No- I mean, like. I know our relationship is complicated, we're rivals but even though you piss me off with your coldness and your obsession with mackerel, and oh god the freakness with water dirves me nuts-"
"Rin"
"What I was trying to say... What am I to you?"
Even though it wasn't the original conversation Rin planned for them at that moment, it also kind of intrigued him the answer. Plus, it was a good way to know if he needed to back off his confession based on Haru's answer.
Haru kept tilting his head; the more he did it, the cuter Rin thought he was.
"I don't think much about those things." That was his answer, and although it seemed vague, Rin knew it was filled with genuineness. "Etiquettes aren't really my thing"
"Alright" Taking a big breath, Rin opened his chest for the first time "Just know that I'm okay with whatever you want me to mean in your life."
Best plan was to leave the conversation there, save it for another time—one where words wouldn’t get stuck in his chest or where Haruka's presence wouldn’t make him melt.
If that was the case, the moment would never come.
"Now that you ask... what do I mean in your life?" Yet it didn’t seem the other wanted to let the conversation go, leaning closer, even more than usual—or at least outside of a fight—his eyes bright and full of curiosity absorbing him completely.
Haruka Nanase was truly going to be the death of him.
Rin feigned annoyance, frowning and twisting his lips as he joked "Hey, that’s unfair! You can’t just not answer and then expect me to do so."
"It's really not, you're the sappy one"
"Hey-!"
"Let me borrow some of your sappiness for this."
Haru stopped Rin's nervous fidgeting with his fingers, intertwining them in a grip that was firm this time, secure; for the first time he felt reassured.
That guy was truly his greatest weakness and his greatest strength.
"You are everything to me, Rin." Haruka said, and Rin got lost in the warmth of his smile, in the warm waters of his eyes, in the night of his hair "From the biggest pain in the ass to the person who changed my life."
"Haru..." Once he processed all the words, his softened gaze shifted to one of offense. "Wait, what did you call me?"
It was an impulse.
To throw himself onto Haruka's body, trying to elicit those beautiful laughs from his lips, tickling his ribs while pretending that the contact with his skin wasn’t driving him crazy.
"Rin! Wait!" Amid laughter, Haru stopped him, taking a breath to continue speaking. Now with his body covering the other at the edge of the pool, Rin could see him better. "What I meant to say was that any place you want to occupy in my life is fine. What matters is that you’re there."
It was an impulse. Cause that’s how Rin acted around him, impulses coming from the bottom of his deepest desires. This time the impulse to take his face between his hands and lean in so that if Haru didn’t respond, he could pull an answer from his lips.
"Any place?"
He nodded with total certainty. A contagious certainty, one might say.
"Rival, friend, enemy, partner, savior..."
Haru starts naming things, but Rin can no longer distinguish words; he is just repeating in his mind the first thought that came to him when the other confessed that Rin could occupy any place in his life.
It's an impulse. To ask, his voice a whisper that, though quiet, is no less certain: "Even your lover?"
At the same time, his ears catch Haru's late addition to the list: "...lover."
They have always functioned this way.
"Haru and I... have a complicated relationship." It was somewhat true; his friendship with Haru had always been intense, in perfect balance with the rivalry they shared.
Until romance entered the equation and... not much changed.
Although loving Haru was simple—admiring and cherishing him was as natural for Rin as swimming in water—their relationship, now as a couple, remained complicated.
"Take the passenger seat, Haru. You know I drive better."
"Leave dinner to me; I cook better, and you'll end up making another one of your tasteless fried eggs or burning my kitchen."
"Haru! In this race, the only victor will be me."
As he had said, they had always functioned this way.
"I'm winning" Rin says, a wide smile on his face and an arm around his boyfriend as they walk through a park.
Though Haru's blue eyes are focused on the lake to their right, Rin knows he heard him from the small sound of confusion he makes. It’s gorgeous—the way his voice sounds, even with something as simple as humming. Rin uses the arm around his shoulders to caress his hair, a way of releasing all the tenderness he feels in that moment just from looking at him.
The breeze, the scent of the lake, Haru—Haru and his beauty, Haru’s hair, his skin under Rin’s palm. This was perfect. Rin was so drunk with love that he laughed, determined to hold on to this forever.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, you know," Rin waves his hand dismissively. "1-0, in our relationship, I confessed first. That's our score."
Haru seems to analyze it for a few seconds, as if something like that required so much reasoning.
"We don't have a score."
Rin would think that it really didn’t matter to Haru, that he found it silly and unnecessary. But Haruka Nanase could be predictable in certain cases, and admitting defeat against Rin was something he would never do—hence his denial.
"Of course we do, Haru. This is all a secret competition, and I'm crushing you."
Haru doesn't respond, which makes Rin raise an eyebrow in amusement. "Come on, does it really not bother you that I'm so far ahead?"
"If you were as fast in the water as you are at spouting nonsense, you would have won Olympic gold three times by now."
"That was cruel!" Rin opens his mouth, complaining with a shout and exaggerating his indignation. "And if it's nonsense, you wouldn't keep bringing it up..." Now feeling insecure, he lowers his head, trying to let his red locks blend with the red of his cheeks to hide his embarrassment.
"Oh, I don't find the score dumb" He says casually, as if it were obvious. "What I find dumb is that you have the point when technically, I was the one who confessed first."
Rin stops dead in the middle of the park. As Haru keeps walking, the contact between their bodies breaks. And even though Rin is a little offended by Haru’s blatant lie, he intertwines their fingers, unwilling to let go of the connection.
"Don't you remember that day?" Rin asks, a bit of pain at the end of each word; they had barely been dating for a week... this couldn't be happening.
He remembers every detail with love, carrying the memory in his heart like an anchor, something steady and unwavering that keeps him afloat. The way Haru’s hands held him, firm yet gentle, grounding him as they drowned in the intensity of their shared emotions. The warmth of his touch, the quiet reassurance in his grip—it was everything Rin needed, everything he had ever longed for.
Rin’s soft sobs had melted into the night, his voice barely above a whisper as he pleaded, not just for Haru to swim for him, but to stay—to be his, forever. And in that moment, under the glow of the stars reflecting in Haru’s endless blue eyes, there was no hesitation, no doubt, only the silent promise between them. A love unspoken yet understood, as deep and boundless as the ocean itself.
It wasn’t possible… Haru couldn’t have forgotten about it…
"How could I?" Softened eyes look at him, shifting from affection to challenge in seconds. "That's why I'm telling you, I was first."
"I was the one who started the conversation! I pulled everyone out of the pool to be alone with you; I was the one who asked you to be my boyfriend afterward!"
"You chickened out in the middle of the confession; if I hadn't said anything, you'd still be with your not-so-subtle annoying flirting." Haru pulls at their clasped hands, intending to keep walking.
Rin follows him, slower than before but still moving forward. Just because he can’t say no to him, and nothing in the world would make him let go of his hand.
"First of all, don't pretend my flirting was annoying; I saw you blushing, you know?" To further prove his point, Haru turns his face away, pretending that his short black hair covers the red that takes over his cheeks. "And I did all the important stuff; clearly, I'm winning."
"Having a good starting dive and making a good race doesn't mean you'll come out victorious if you chicken out at the end."
Rin huffs, hiding a short laugh beneath his indignation. "What kind of analogy is that?" Deep down, he would never admit it made a bit of sense. "If you never make the start, you can't even reach the finish, so clearly it's my victory."
"For you, winning is everything, Rin. Why would you jump into the water without the intention of reaching the end?"
Rin’s breath catches, his chest tightening in a way that feels both overwhelming and grounding at the same time. It wasn’t just the words—it was the weight behind them, the certainty with which Haru spoke, like he had known this about Rin long before Rin had even put it into words himself.
To be understood like this, so effortlessly, so completely—it was rare. And with Haru, it was natural. Like breathing. Like water.
A quiet laugh escapes him, something small, something raw. He looks at Haru, at those steady blue eyes that had always seen straight through him, somehow, that was worth more than winning could ever be.
He really has to thank Haru for not giving up on him that day...
Obviously, Rin middle name Proud Matsuoka would never grant a victory that easily.
Beating Haru, literally the best person he has ever met in his life, was like a divine pleasure.
"It doesn't change the fact that I asked you to be my boyfriend first." With the full intention of looking dramatic, he lets go of his boyfriend's hand just to cross his arms and lean against the railing that separated them from the lake.
Lips pursed in a pout... eyes tightly closed and gazing at the sky... yes, this would provoke Haru enough.
He hears him approach, and his plan almost falls apart due to the satisfied smile that threated to escape him.
When their red eyes open again, he sees that Haru has completely trapped him against the metal, wanting to face him to break down all his barriers with the strong waves of the sea in his eyes.
"Well, I invited you on our first date, 1-1."
Surprised, Rin relaxes his posture and doesn't allow himself to look intimidated. "Do you think I would settle for a tie, Haruka?" He says his full name slowly, syllable by syllable, savoring the veins that begin to bulge from his boyfriend's arms due to the strength with which he grips the railing. "I already told Sosuke that we're together... that means I was the first one to tell others that we're boyfriends. That’s 2-1"
Haru doesn't ask how Rin's friend took it, nor if he was surprised, nor does he seem to care. He stays silent for a few seconds, trying to find something... anything that would give him an advantage. They are really competing. Rin recognizes that aura instantly—it’s the same one that ignites within him when they race, when the fire in his chest clashes against the water in his veins, pushing him forward, faster, stronger. It’s a force, a presence that consumes everything else, leaving only the unshakable need to reach the end first.
But this time, it’s different.
Because this isn’t just about swimming. This isn’t just about winning.
This is about them.
That same intensity, that same pull—it isn’t just coming from within Rin. It’s coming from him. From them. It’s the same energy that’s driven them toward each other over and over, in the water, out of it, in every glance and every unspoken challenge.
And the realization sends a shiver through Rin’s spine, not out of fear, but something deeper, something exhilarating.
Because this? This is the only kind of competition that ever truly mattered.
Instead of speaking, blue eyes return to the lake, reflecting the sun on its calm surface. Rin stops, observing it.
Haru is drawn to the water as if it were a part of him, as if something in it called to him without words. It's hypnotic to watch him get lost in his thoughts. His relaxed profile, his lips slightly parted, his dark hair being moved by the breeze...
Rin smiles, with a thought in his head.
"You’re thinking about getting in, aren’t you?" he says in a playful tone, even though he had already planned for this to be part of any date with the boy. "And here I thought I could have you all to myself today; will I have to share you with the water? Well, it’s not like it bothers me."
"Rin" Haru murmurs, so close that he doesn't even need to raise his voice. It feels like a forbidden secret, something that can only exist between the two of them, and Rin gets excited. "Do you know why I like water?"
"Because you're a complete weirdo?"
"It's not just the feeling or its personality..." Rin decides to reserve his comments regarding the supposed personality of water. "I also like it because it reminds me of you, or at least that's how it felt since I met you."
Rin blinks.
For a moment, all the confidence in his posture wavers.
"Me?"
Haru nods.
"Always moving, unpredictable... and when I'm in it, I feel..." he pauses, slightly furrowing his brow. He seems to struggle with the words as if he had never tried to explain it before. "I feel free."
Rin's chest warms, the feeling creeping up his throat, making it hard to swallow. Haru has that way of saying things—so simply, so honestly—that it completely disarms him. No embellishments, no unnecessary words, just the truth as he feels it. And it always hits Rin harder than he expects.
He watches the way Haru’s gaze drifts toward the water, like it’s calling him, like it’s the only place where he truly belongs. And Rin understands. He always has. Because for all the times he’s chased after Haru, for all the times he’s tried to put his own feelings into words, nothing has ever summed it up better than that. Freedom.
Rin lets out a quiet breath, runs a hand through his hair in a weak attempt to ground himself, to hide the smile threatening to spread across his face. But it’s no use. The way Haru sees the world, the way he shares these small pieces of himself—it’s intoxicating. It makes Rin feel lucky.
"That's why...!" Haru suddenly says, as if he doesn't want his inspiration to be cut off "That I..."
His brow furrows, tired of getting tangled up in words. With no other alternative, Haru takes action.
Before Rin can react, he feels a pressure on his wrist and then the tug.
"H-Hey! What—?!"
He runs a few meters, or rather, Rin drags himself behind his boyfriend until the world tilts for a second. A muffled scream, a splash, and the cold water envelops them both.
Hary has drag him into the lake, without previous warning, with no change of clothes on their backpacks.
Rin emerges with a gasp of air, shaking the soaked hair from his face. He coughs and blinks against the droplets sliding down his eyes until Haru's soft laughter makes him turn sharply.
Haru, damn him, continues to float with total calmness, wearing a satisfied expression like a cat that has just knocked a glass off the table. But his laughter is so beautiful that Rin just watches him until he returns to his serious expression.
"What the hell was that, Haru?!"
"I needed assurance, Rin, and water makes me feel safe."
Rin falls silent.
Then he bursts out laughing.
It's impossible to be angry. The water is freezing, his clothes weigh heavily on his skin, but there's something ridiculously funny about Haru's impassive expression.
"You're a mess, did you know that?"
Haru blinks, as if he doesn't understand what he's talking about. "What I meant to say with all of that is that... Well, I..." he begins, a blush painting his cheeks in the middle of the blue canvas that is the person in front of him. "I was the one who..." Haru looks down. His eyelashes barely tremble. He swallows hard, and his hands, which normally float gracefully in the water, now awkwardly clutch at his own clothes. He seems on the verge of revealing a secret that could shatter him into pieces. Rin holds his breath and leans in a little closer, as if he could absorb Haru's nervousness.
Haru's voice is barely a whisper when he finally lets it out:
"I was the first one to fall in love with you, so it's 2-2."
Liar.
That's the first thing Rin thinks. He has been in love with Haru since the second they breathed the same air, since the moment their bodies touched the same water... while those blue eyes seemed to try to erase him with a gaze.
But he can't tell him that. Not when he has him right in front of him, looking so damn beautiful.
His hair still damp from the lake water and tousled by the wind. Droplets slide down his neck, disappearing beneath the hem of his shirt. Cheeks burning so fiercely that not even the water itself can extinguish them; bright eyes, trembling lips... Lips slightly parted, trembling, cracked from the chlorine in the water.
Rin forgets everything else. The words, the moment, the stupid competition of who confesses first. Now what matters is wetting them and making them look shiny, pink, and plump to match his cheeks, making them his.
"Silly Haru."
It's his little warning before taking him by the chin, finally pulling him in and pretending to connect their lips.
His idea turns out to be nothing more than an act of pretense since all his palate tasted was the disgusting flavor of lake water, hands on his shoulders pushing him down again.
Rin surfaces, shaking his head like a wet dog.
"That was unnecessary!" he complains, feeling a bit rejected.
"Totally necessary," Haru comes closer, wrapping his arms around Rin's waist to prevent any escape. "I saw you staring at my mouth. Do you think I didn't know you wanted to kiss me?"
Rin blushes, completely caught off guard by being confronted like that. "You don't want to?"
"I've been wanting to for years."
And before Rin can respond, he feels Haru's lips on his.
It's a soft kiss at first, barely a wet touch, but the surprise quickly fades as Rin reacts.
It’s the first time he’s kissed him, the first time he’s kissed anyone, and strangely, it feels so natural that his own muscle memory guides him.
Rin pulls him by the waist, deepening the contact, feeling the warmth of his skin despite the cold water. Haru responds with the same intensity, his hands sliding down Rin's back.
The water around them seems to move with them, as if the whole world is bending in their favor.
And Rin thinks that, Haru is the one like water—
Uncontrollable, free, impossible to catch.
But at least for now, he’s here with him.
He doesn't know what he's doing; he's never done this before, and it probably looks to others like a fish trying to swallow his boyfriend, but he doesn’t care. Haru's lips taste so good, and his boyfriend's hands gripping his biceps tightly assure him that it's having an effect.
Rin has always been ambitious; once he takes a bite, he wants it all. His hands try to memorize every muscle in the area of Haru's shoulder blade; he wants to bury his thumbs in every collarbone, wants to wrap his fingers around his neck so that his only source of oxygen is what he takes directly from Rin's mouth.
He wants it all—wants to store every one of his muffled moans in the back of his mind, wants to mess up his hair even more, savor his beauty with his touch and his mouth with his lips, fill himself with his scent and presence until he feels so full of love that he thinks he might burst.
Not completely satisfied but aware that they can’t keep breathing so uncomfortably, he lets go, appreciating Haru's dazed state for a few seconds before smiling and fixing his hair.
Haru watches him for a moment. Then, without warning, he pushes him back under the water.
Rin jumps up, gasping with laughter.
Haru is already swimming toward the shore as if nothing happened.
“Are you running away after kissing me?!”
“I’m winning.”
“Hey! That was cheating! It doesn’t count!”
Even though he tries to protest, the butterflies in his stomach still flutter after that kiss, making it hard to complain while he tries not to let the silly smile escape from his lips.
He just hopes that all of his first times with Haruka Nanase feel like this—
As if he’s falling in love with him all over again when in reality, his love hasn’t diminished one bit.