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The walk to the railroad was quiet, though it usually was. Pelican Town was small, and the townspeople's routines were predictable. It was always quiet after dark, especially at this time of night. The only person the farmer was used to seeing this late was Linus, usually tucked comfortably by a fire or nestled away in his tent with the soft glow of a lamp. She wasn't used to seeing people this late. That's why the lean, tall figure standing against a tree by the tracks shocked her.
He was quiet, leaning back against the tall oak tree, taking a long drag of his cigarette while gazing at the night sky. He almost blended into the environment, like he was somehow supposed to be there. His hair draped over his face, yet the soft glow of the nearby lamp post against his skin showed him in a different light. He seemed calm, pleasant, almost, a stark contrast to the cooler, masked personality she was used to observing in the boy. She took a step forward, gently, but without hesitation. Almost instinctively, he turned his head and met her gaze.
She had looked different, was what Sebastian had thought. She was without her usual messy, carefree attire. ditching the shorts and plaid flannel shirt draped over a tank top for a long, flowy skirt and comfortable top. When Sebastian's eyes met hers and she took a step forward, he was intrigued, no one was usually open to being around him other than Sam and Abigail, yet here the farmer was, inching towards him.
"What brings you out here so late?" she said softly, smiling at Sebastian as she walked past him to a nearby berry bush, picking a few. Sebastian raised his brow slightly, so now they were talking.
"It's quiet out here, good for thinking", he said softly, pulling his cigarette up to his mouth for another drag. The girl smiled softly, "I get that, it can be a little overwhelming here sometimes", she said warmly. "What's got you thinking?" she asked softly, "if you don't mind my asking", she added.
He considered her words for a moment; the two were essentially strangers, yet he felt oddly comfortable confiding in her. "Life outside of the valley", he said quietly, gazing over at her figure.
"Hm?" she looked to him softly, "thinking of leaving?" she asked, popping one of the salmonberries from her palm into her mouth as she awaited his answer.
"There isn't anything left here for me", he said quietly, "what's the point in staying here?" he added. She looked at him and considered his words for a moment. "I get that", she said softly.
"You do?" he pondered.
"Of course, I mean, why do you think I quit my job and moved here? I felt the same way, just for a different place," she answered earnestly.
Sebastian smiled, almost subconsciously, at her words.
"What’s it like?" he said softly, "the city, I mean", he added, leaning his body more towards her, intent on listening.
"Loud", she chuckled, "it's always busy, sort of gets a bit mundane. But it's nice, you get a lot of variety, more so than you'd be used to out here", she said warmly, stepping forward so they were closer. "Berry?" she offered with a chuckle, her hand open with a few in her hand. Sebastian chuckled and smiled, taking one of the berries from her palm.
"So why the change?" he asked softly, "What made you want to leave the city and move all the way here?"
"I suppose the same reasons you say you want to leave, it felt like there was nothing left there for me, " she said warmly.
"Do you ever miss it? The city?" he asked softly, gazing over her as she thought for a moment.
"Sometimes", she smiled softly, her mind in thought, "mostly the little things. Late night takeout, bookstores on every corner, hopping between bars to hear random bands play, people watching without anyone noticing" She chuckled softly, flicking some hair out of her face.
"That sounds nice. Better than this place," Sebastian smirked, taking a drag from his cigarette.
"You say that like you hate it here", the girl said with a tilt of her head, studying his features.
"Not hate", Sebastian began with a sigh, "I just... don't belong. It's too small. Everyone knows everyone"
"I get that", she said quietly.
"If you get it, why'd you come here? People don't usually leave a bustling city to come live in a town like this," Sebastian said with a hint of true curiosity, wanting to understand her reasoning.
"You make it sound like exile", she said with a soft laugh.
"Isn't it?" Sebastian replied with half a smile
"I guess I wanted something real", she said softly, leaning her weight on her hip, "Out there, everything felt a bit like a highlight reel of life- curated and temporary. Nothing truly felt tangible and permanent", she continued.
"Here, things matter. If you don't fix a broken fence, it just stays broken. When I plant crops, I get to see them through. I like that," she finished with a smile, meeting his gaze thoughtfully.
"That makes sense", Sebastian said agreeably.
"You ever think maybe that's what you're looking for too? Something real, tangible?" she said softly with a smile.
"Maybe", Sebastian said with the hint of a smile.
"So what? You just woke up one day and decided you were done with all that city noise? Done with that life?" Sebastian said, glancing at his shoes as he kicked at the dirt.
"Not exactly", she smirked, "It was more of a slow unravelling. You ever feel like you're supposed to love something, but you just... don't?" she asked, watching him.
He thought for a moment before nodding, "Yeah"
"That was the city for me. I had the kind of life people are supposed to want. Coffee shops on every corner, museums, lights that never go out. But it all felt a bit like a movie set, sort of like if I looked away it would all disappear behind me," she said, waiting for him to meet her gaze.
Sebastian's eyes now met hers as he watched her intently.
"So, you traded that for chickens and broken fences?" he said with a faint smile.
She chuckled softly, shaking her head.
"You make it sound like it's a bad deal”, she smiled.
"Eh, kind of sounds like one", he grinned slightly.
"Maybe it is", she said with a smile, glancing back over to the path that led back to her farm.
"But at least it's mine", she beamed, "Out here, what I do matters. I take care of the land, and in return it takes care of me. There’s something honest about that", she finished, meeting his gaze once again.
"Honest. Yeah," he said quietly, considering her words.
"You don't believe me", she smiled, studying him.
"No, I do", he shook his head, "I've just... never heard someone talk about this place like it’s something worth staying for", he said thoughtfully.
"Maybe you just never had a reason to stay", she said gently, smiling kindly at him.
"Yeah. Maybe," Sebastian replied softly, his eyes flicking to hers. Silence stretched between them once again, this time comfortable.
The wind of the valley was rustling through the trees around them as the stars prickled through the ever-darkening sky. Sebastian was still in thought, but smiling as he watched the girl, he was now growing friendly with try and trying to balance and walk across the train tracks.
"You know, if a train comes out of nowhere, you're dead", he said with a smirk and light chuckle.
"If a train comes down these tracks, I think we've got bigger problems", she said with a grin, wobbling slightly. "Pretty sure a train comes maybe once a season if we're lucky"
"That's what they want you to think. Any minute now and bam! Ghost train," Sebastian chuckled mockingly.
"Oh no, guess I better stick close to you for protection then", she laughed, stepping off the rails with a mock gasp.
Sebastian grinned, tilting his head. "Oh, now you need me? I thought you had it all figured out, city girl," he smiled.
"Hey, I can be independent and delegate ghost train protection to the nearest grumpy local", she chuckled teasingly.
"Grumpy? Really?" he snorted, "Surely that's Shane", he added, shaking his head.
"Well, you do a lot of brooding. Staring off at the horizon like you're in a movie trailer," she grinned, letting out a soft chuckle.
"That's just how I stand", he laughed, shaking his head.
She chuckled at his reaction before moving to mockingly mimic his stance.
"I don't belong here... no one understands me... I must leave this town before it swallows me whole..." she giggles softly.
"You done?" he says, watching her and trying not to smile.
"Almost. One more thing", she grins, clearing her throat and deepening her voice. "...but then, she arrived. Mysterious and New. Holding a bag of chicken feed and my tragic heart in her hands"
"Wow, really dedicated, huh?" he chuckled, shaking his head
"Thank you", she says with a mock curtsy, smiling.
A beat of silence fell over the two of them. Sebastain glanced over towards the nearby spa, lights still flickering inside.
"Ever been inside?" he mused, referring to the spa.
"Nope. I've been to plenty in the city, but I haven't made the time to use the one here before," she said, shaking her head before looking over at him.
"It's not bad, actually", Sebastian said, leaning against the tree. "Apparently, it has magical healing capabilities? That’s what the old Wizard and Linus always say," he chuckles.
"Oh yeah? So, if I jump in, I'll suddenly become wise and powerful?" She giggled, raising an eyebrow.
"No, but maybe it'll wash off some of that city attitude", Sebastian teased with a grin.
She mockingly gasped before smiling. "Wow, and here I thought we were bonding"
"We are. This is just the initiation," he smirked, tilting his gaze toward her.
"So, I have to survive ghost trains and a supernatural spa just to get accepted here?" She rolled her eyes with a chuckle
"Pretty much", Sebastian chuckled. The girl shook her head with a smile. Another breeze rustled through the trees, and they both fell silent for a moment, the energy shifting once again. The tone was lighter now, but with something nagging underneath. The night air was thick with the scent of the earth. Fireflies blinked in the distance, their soft glow dancing along the horizon of the mountain. Sebastian leaned against a tree; the farmer was close enough next to him that he could hear her steady breathing. Despite the night creeping in, neither one of them seemed in a hurry to leave.
The girl glanced up at the sky and sighed softly, "Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small?"
Sebastian tilted his head back, studying the stars in the sky. He spoke softly, "All the time."
"I like that feeling. It lets my problems feel less important. Back in the city, you couldn't even see the stars. The lights drowned them out", she said softly, smiling.
"Maybe that's why I want to leave. I feel small here too, just not in a good way. More like... stuck", he said softly.
"And you think leaving will make you feel bigger?" she said softly, nudging his arm lightly with her shoulder.
"I don't know. I just know I can't stay," he exhaled, running his hand through his hair.
She was now observing Sebastian, a soft expression dawning on her face.
"Where would you go?"
"Anywhere. Somewhere loud, different. A place where no one knew my name before I even introduced myself. Where no one has these preconceived expectations or opinions of me" He shrugged, avoiding meeting her gaze.
"That sounds lonely", she said softly after a pause.
"Better than feeling trapped", he said quietly, finally looking at her. "I just", he hesitated softly.
"I don't think I can ever be what people expect. This town, my family... it feels like they've already decided who I'm supposed to be," he sighed softly.
"I get that", she replied softly, her eyes not leaving his
"You do?" he said, almost surprised.
"Yeah", she nodded softly, a quiet understanding in her eyes. "Moving here, I thought it was going to be all... peace and quiet. No more deadlines, no more noise. But it's still a lot of pressure. Just in a different way. People look at you and think they know your story. Like they've got it all figured out. But they don't"
Sebastian paused, considering her words. "It's like... no matter what you do, it's never enough, right?" he uttered softly.
"Exactly", she smiled faintly.
"I thought I'd get away from it all by leaving. Thought I'd escape the whole "small-town boy" that "does nothing with his life" thing. But I feel like no matter what, I can't outrun who people think I am. he shrugged slightly.
"You're not alone in that," she replied, watching him.
"You do?"
"Yeah. People don't often get me either. I thought here they would, but I still keep getting labels shoved on me. 'The new girl' or 'the farm girl'. People like putting us in boxes," she nodded softly, a look of understanding on her face.
"I didn't realise you felt like that", he said softly, looking down, his voice quiet as he spoke.
"I think we all do", she said softly, "In some way or another. Doesn't matter where you are", he finished, meeting his gaze.
After a moment of quiet silence, Sebastian spoke, his voice almost a whisper. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be"
"You don't have to know. You just... have to be," she said, shaking her head, her tone warm but matter of fact.
"So profound", Sebastian chuckled softly, smiling at her.
"I try", she smiled in response, taking a step back, facing him.
"This was nice", she says with a soft smile.
"Was?" he asked, "Leaving so soon?" he said, part of him disappointed,
"I have an early start, you know, chickens to wrangle and all", she said with a soft giggle, "and I'm sure you've got work to do, programmer and all", she added with a warm smile.
Sebastian was stunned; no one usually ever spoke about his job, most dismissing it more as a hobby than a career choice.
"Uh yeah, I do actually", he smiled.
"Well, better get to it then", she smiled warmly, "I'll see you around, yeah? don't go being a stranger", she chuckled.
"I won't", Sebastian smiled, watching her give a small wave before retreating to the path that led her home.
---
That's where it began, whatever the farmer and Sebastian had. One late-night encounter turned into more, as the two would continue to meet each other in the late hours of the evening after the rest of the town had fallen to silence, leaving just the two of them and their conversations. Sometimes unplanned, sometimes planned, their nighttime heart-to-hearts became a common occurrence as the pair found solace in the company of someone who understood them.
Eventually, their relationship evolved into more. They began to see each other outside of their usual routine.
She would stop in and see Sebastian on her way to the mines, resulting in her usually never making it there at all, too wrapped up in conversation. He had invited her to his Friday night pool games at the Saloon with Abigail and Sam, stating he needed a partner to play duos with. Sebastian would wander over to the farm in the afternoon and offer to help her with odd jobs just to be in her company. In small, but meaningful ways, their relationship blossomed into something neither of the pair knew they truly needed.
Sebastian had grown accustomed to her presence in his life. He didn't expect the way she had crept him his routine, nor how her laughter had begun to fill the spaces in his days. When she stopped by, unannounced or not, it felt like everything slowed down, like the weight of the world was lifted, even if only for a moment.
---
It was late in the evening when the farmer arrived at the saloon, a little later than usual. She was always late these days, too caught up in things she hadn't expected to get caught up in on the farm. Sebastian was already there, leaning against the doorframe of the games room, watching Abigail and Sam play when she arrived. He smiled when he saw her, a subconscious action that had become familiar when he was around her.
"Late again, huh?" Sebastian grinned, smiling down at her.
"I swear, I'm getting worse at this", she chuckled, walking towards him. "I promise I'm trying to do better", she added with a huff as she stood next to him.
"I guess I'll have to come get you next time then", he teased, a soft smile on his face when he looked at her.
"I suppose I've got to thank you for dragging me out here so often", she teased.
"I'm not the one who keeps showing up" Sebastian shrugged, a smirk plastered across his face.
"Well, you're hard to ignore. Besides, you know you love me," she says playfully, nudging his side with her elbow.
Sebastian smiled softly, "Yeah, I know"
---
She was standing in the doorway of the farmhouse, squinting out into the afternoon sunlight as she noticed Sebastian walking up the dirt path to her house. He wasn't wearing his usual hoodie and jeans combo, but instead donning a worn jacket with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a comfortable pair of old jeans.
"Hey", she smiled warmly, giving him a small wave.
"Hey", he replied softly, returning the gesture with a chuckle.
"I figured I'd give you a hand with those fences that needed replacing?" he said with a grin as he reached her steps.
"You? opting for manual labour?" she giggled ", I'd say you just want an excuse to hang out with me?" she teased.
"Maybe", Sebastian shrugged, unable to resist the smile forming on his lips.
They worked in comfortable silence, their routine becoming almost second nature by now. With each of their little visits, they fell into sync with each other's movements without needing to say a word.
"You know, you're starting to become a regular around here", she chuckles, half-smiling as she picks up a hammer to begin pegging the fencepost into the ground.
Sebastian smiled, "I thought I already was"
---
As the months continued to slip by, the bond between the pair only deepened. What began as late-night conversations and casual visits turned into something neither of them could deny. Their laughter had become more intimate, their touches more lingering, the silences more comfortable. Their small town, despite all its expectations and routines, no longer felt like a backdrop; it felt like the place where something real had begun to blossom.
But as the days grew longer, and the world seemed to open up in front of them, Sebastian couldn't help but feel the pull of something else. Despite finding the farmer, he couldn't shake the feelings he had always had, that he was meant for more than just Pelican Town. He had watched the farmer change over his time knowing her, watched her find a kind of peace he had always longed for, but in a place he still felt like he had outgrown. Every time Sebastian thought he was ready to embrace peace with her, accept the domesticity of their relationship, the feeling of needing out crept back into his chest.
It was a quiet afternoon when it all started to feel too real for Sebastian. The pair had been sitting together on the porch of the farmhouse. The sun was casting a golden hue over the fields of the farm, the freshly watered crops glistening in the sunlight. She was talking about something mundane- a new batch of wine being almost to completion when she had accidentally knocked the keg, spilling wine throughout her cellar. Sebastian laughed, nodding along with her story, but still unable to shake the thoughts in his mind that were swirling like a storm.
"It took me forever to clean! And do you know how hard it is to repair a keg?" she chuckled, "neither did I until yesterday", she grinned.
"Sounds like a pain", Sebastian chuckled.
She laughed in return at his reaction, but when she caught a glance of his face, her smile faded slightly. Sebastian was staring off into the distance, eyes focused as if he were somewhere else entirely. It wasn't the first time she had noticed him looking distant recently, but something felt different today. Deep down, she knew what it was. That same conversation that brought them together during their first meeting.
"Hey", she said softly, "What's on your mind?"
Sebastian looked at her, and for a moment, his chest tightened. The way she was looking at him, the way that her eyes always seemed to see him, was a hard thing to face. He knew this conversation was inevitable; he had been actively avoiding and stalling it for weeks, but he couldn't escape it forever.
He sighed, leaning back into his chair.
"You know you can tell me anything", she added softly, a reassuring hand placed on his knee.
"I feel like I need to leave", he said quietly.
Her heart skipped a beat when he spoke, but she didn’t let it show. She'd had been expecting this moment, in the quietest part of her heart. There was a sharp pang of disappointment, but more than that, there was understanding.
"I just... I can't shake the feeling that I need to. I've been here too long, and... I don't know. I thought maybe it was different now, but it's still the same," he spoke in a voice quieter than normal.
"I feel like if I don't at least try, they'll always be a part of me that regrets it", he finished softly.
She doesn't rush to respond, taking time to carefully consider his words. She's not surprised, not really. She's known that same kind of restlessness that runs through his veins, the feeling of being trapped in a place you've outgrown. That's what led her here. Who was she to judge? Still, his words stung. She swallows hard, trying to keep her voice steady.
"You're certain?" she whispered.
"I don't know. But I can feel it, like a pressure building inside me," he said, closing his eyes for a moment, letting out a long, drawn breath.
Her chest tightened at his words. She wants to tell him. That their connection, whatever it may be, has been real, still is real. She knows it, and she knows he knows it as well. But she knows the truth, she had been holding on to him, not just as a friend but as something more, for so long now. She knows what he has to do, what he deserves to do, but the weight of his decision still felt heavy.
"I understand", she said gently, almost hesitantly.
She looked at him for a long time, the weight of his words fully sinking in. She knows that he's right about this. As long as she has known him, she has known he was someone who needed to chase something bigger, beyond what's in front of him. And she knew he was destined for something bigger. And while part of her wanted to hold on to him, to beg him to stay and continue whatever it was that they had, she knew it wasn't fair to either of them.
"I won't ask you to stay because of me, Sebastian, so please don't worry about that", she whispered. "I want what is best for you, in everything. And if this is what you need, then know I will support you," she says softly.
There's a long pause between them, the quiet tension heavy, neither one of them speaking. The breeze had picked up, rustling the leaves around them. For a brief moment, it was as if the world around them disappeared, and it was just them in that moment.
"I didn't want to hurt you", Sebastian said finally, his voice quiet, almost apologetic.
"I know", she replied softly, shaking her head, "I understand the feeling of something being missing, and the urge to need to find it" Her voice was firm but kind.
"I can't expect you to change all your life's ambitions just for me", she chuckled, almost sadly. "You have always been destined for greatness, Sebastian", she smiled softly.
"I just... I don't think I was quite ready for this revelation, but that's not your fault," she said softly with a sad smile.
"If anyone could have changed me, it would have been you", he said softly, averting her gaze for a moment, exhaling a deep breath he hadn't realised he was holding.
There's a slight hesitation before she reaches out, placing her hand on his. It was a simple gesture, yet it spoke volumes to everything they had shared over the past year. All the late-night conversations, laughs, silences, pressed into one, meaningful gesture. She squeezed his hand gently.
"You'll be okay. And so will I," she said with a sad smile.
Sebastian looked at her, his heart heavy but full of gratitude. Her reaction spoke to just why he loved her. Her compassion. He didn't want to leave, not really. Not now he had found something real with her, that feeling he had been chasing lingering in their every interaction. But he knew he had to go. He had to figure out what was next for him.
"Maybe one day, we'll both have it figured out", he said softly, a small, sad smile on his face.
She doesn't respond immediately, but she holds his gaze for a long moment. They don't need to say more. Neither of them needs promises or guarantees. This moment wasn't something small. They were at a crossroads of something far bigger than their small-town lifestyle, something neither of them could hold on to. And maybe that was okay.
---
The day Sebastian left was quiet. No grand goodbyes, no long-winded explanations. Just a moment between Sebastian and his not-quite-lover at the edge of her farm, the final stop before the road stretched out beyond the confines of the valley and into the busy world beyond. The morning was cool, the sky still washed in the soft hues of pink and blue as the sun rose above the valley. Sebastian stood behind his bike, hands tucked into his jacket pockets, looking to her like he wanted to say something he couldn't quite find the words for.
"This is it", Sebastian said softly.
She nodded; her arms crossed to keep the morning chill at bay. She wasn't sure what to say, or if there was anything even left to say. The day Sebastian had told her of his plans to leave and the conversation that followed, was all the closure they could muster. They had already spoken all the words that mattered. But still, she found herself searching for something, anything, to make the moment easier.
"You sure I can't con you into one last game of pool before you go? I could use the win under my belt if I'm meant to verse Sam in your absence," she said with a forced lightness, offering a small smile.
Sebastian chuckled, shaking his head, "You'll just have to find a new opponent to practice on"
"That might be hard", she teased softly, a fondness lingering in the air before the pair came to a pause. The kind that stretched a little too long, a little too heavy. Before it could become unbearable, Sebastian stepped forward. A brief hesitation in the air before he pulled her into a hug. Tight, warm, lingering. She let herself drown into it, indulge in it for just a second longer than she should have, mapping out the memory in her mind. Sebastian mumbled quietly into her hair.
"Take care of yourself, okay?"
"You too," she murmured back, pushing back tears.
It wasn’t long after that he was gone. The sound of his bike rumbling to life was the last thing she heard, and the spray of dust that followed as he disappeared down the road was the last thing she heard. She didn't watch him go for long, just long enough to know he was gone, and that he hadn't looked back.
---
The first few days in his absence were the hardest. Not because she had expected things to fall apart without him, but because she hadn't realised just how much space he had taken up in her life until he was gone. The quiet moments on the farm, the nights at the saloon, they all continued. She still went, still played pool, chatting with Sam and Abigail, but the empty chair where Sebastian used to sit lingered over her, lingered over all of them, always felt like something unspoken.
She had thrown herself into work. Fixing fences, tending to her crops, waking up earlier, going to bed later. She told herself it helped, that keeping her hands busy meant she didn't have time to dwell. And in some ways, it was true. The farm flourished in a way it hadn't before. Her chickens still made trouble; her crops still grew. Life went on. And sometimes, it didn't hurt at all.
Despite all this, she still made time in her routine to stop by his house. Checking on Robin, who, much like herself, was struggling in Sebastian's Absence. Maybe part of her went hoping he'd be there; arms open, ready to welcome her in as he always had. She knew it was ridiculous, farfetched, yet deep down, part of her still hoped. She was proud of him, she always would be, but she couldn't always deny the hurt she felt without him in her life.
---
When Sebastian left the valley, he had no real plan, only the promise of the open road and endless possibilities. He spent his first few weeks wandering, staying in cheap motels before securing his apartment. He filled his time by exploring new places, looking for a reason to stay.
He picked up work where he could. A gig at a local music store, fixing amps and setting up sound equipment for underground bands while freelancing on the side. It wasn't glamorous, but it was enough to keep him moving. He had found a rhythm. It was everything he had wanted.
But sometimes, in the quiet moments between places, when the lights dimmed and the city grew ever so slightly quieter, he caught himself thinking of a place he had never called home until he left it, and the girl he had left behind.
---
Seasons shifted in the valley, and life went on as it always did. The farm thrived, and the work she once stumbled through was now familiar, almost second nature to the farmer. She had found a rhythm and routine of her own. She had found contentment, even in the quiet.
Sebastian's travels took him farther than he ever expected. He met new people, worked on projects he had only ever dreamed of. And yet, some nights, when the city lights blurred outside his window, or he passed through a small town that reminded him of home, he wondered if the restless feeling inside him would ever settle.
They didn't talk. Not because they couldn't, but because neither of them knew what to say. Life had pulled them in different directions, and maybe that was okay. But sometimes, late at night, she found herself looking at the stars, thinking about the conversations they once had. And sometimes, miles away in a city far from home, Sebastian found himself playing a song that reminded him of the girl he once knew.
Maybe in another life, things would have been different. But in this once, they had been exactly what they needed to be, for as long as they were meant to be.