Work Text:
It was a throwaway answer as the younger staff joked about what animals the senior staff would be. Someone suggested a cat for Dr.Robby. Then, a debate broke out, and some argued that he would be a dog. However, Mel made the comparison to a semi-feral cat that used to live in her neighborhood.“ He walked like he owned the place and was affectionate to a small number of other strays. And that is kind of like Robby…”
Since then, those present couldn't unsee it, so when bored one day after this revelation, it was decided to make it into a game. The group created a separate chat where you would name a common cat trait that you would see the attending doing, and get evidence, whether photographic or witnessed by another, and you would get a point. It wasn't supposed to get out of hand like it did, and Robby was not supposed to find out, but like everything in the Pitt, it did. And Robby was left to deal with the consequences.
1. Big stretch
Surprisingly, the first entry came from Whittaker. He was updating a chart and caught the attending attempting to stretch out his back. He was going to turn back to his work when it happened. Robby braced himself on a counter and arched his back. Dennis had found the perfect first entry! Subtly pulling his phone out, he snapped a picture and uploaded it to the chat.
‘Cat Chat’
Dr.Huckleberry: [Big Stretch.jpeg]
Dr.Huckleberry: Big Stretch!
Dr.Badass: Huckleberry! I can't believe it!
Dr.Mel: Aw, he does look like a cat doing a big stretch <3
Spotting the said man coming his way, Whittaker quickly pocketed his phone and finished his work.
“ All good, Whittaker?”
“Yup, yup, all Good.” He stammered out before briskly making his way back to his patient. Robby watched his retreat curiously, wondering what was going on. The med student hadn't acted that nervously in a while. He wondered if Dana knew anything. He would have to check in with her later about it.
The med student's phone continued to buzz as the chat caught wind of his achievement. He couldn't help the proud smile that crept onto his face throughout the shift as he got playful glares from the other members, well, mostly playful. He wasn't too sure about Trinity's.
2. Head butts
A few shifts later, Trinity got her first entry into the competition. It had been a long shift, with the flu making rounds amongst staff and patients alike. Dana had pulled several of them aside to inform them to go easy on the attending, as he was coming down with it, but wouldn't admit it. So throughout the shift, doctors and staff tried to keep a wide berth from him, especially once it seemed his symptoms caught up with him. While taking a quick snack break the med student observed the ED taking in the chaos and seeing if any cases sparked her interest. That is when she saw Robby make his way towards the head nurse, looking a bit dazed and feverish. Once the doctor was close enough, he leaned his forehead on her shoulder and slumped. Oh, this was great. She had her entry inwardly cheering. She grabbed her phone and took the picture. Perfect, she quickly posted her prize:
‘Cat chat’
Dr. Badass: [ headbutts.jpeg]
Dr.Badass: My entry. Look, he is headbutting Dana!
Dr.Mel: Nicely done, Dr.Santos, that is cute!
Dr.Prodigy: Damn I thought I was going to be next :(
Dr.Mel: There is still time. And it is not like it's really a competition.
Dr.Badass: Yes it is
Dr.Huckleberry: Yes it is
Dr.Prodigy: Yes it is
Dr.Badass: And I’m going to win!
Unknown to the medstudent, two others caught her taking the picture, then silently celebrating her victory. Frank did not consider himself a nosy person. He wasn't ok!? So when he caught Santo’s taking that picture, he needed to investigate. The senior resident waited until he could corner the young woman to find out what was happening. He was not going to let this cocky young doctor potentially ruin Robbys career over him finally seeking comfort. It took to long for them to get him even to discuss his problems and whatever santos was planning is not going to fuck with it.
“ Santos, why did you take a picture of Dr.Robby earlier?” Her face froze at the blunt question. What!? How did he know? She was careful. Come on, Trinity, deny, deny, deny.
“ I did not! I was taking a picture of something in the general direction.” Oh my god, she was a terrible liar. This was too easy!
“ Oh, really? So I didn't see you take multiple shots and do a victory dance, then grin at your phone while typing something?”
“ No, and why were you watching me? That is weird. Dude!”
“ First of all, I was NOT watching you, I was watching Robby. Second of all, you and your little cohort may think you are slick, but you guys have been acting weird. And third, I will not let you mess with Robbie's career. So, for the last time, what are you doing?” Fuck they have been had but also hold on he thinks she is going to hurt their attending intentionally?
“ First, I would never intentionally hurt our attending. He is one of the best I have worked with. I will tell you what is going on, but we need to do it somewhere else.” And that is how the rest of the residents joined their game. Mel and Langdon teamed up and posted many entries into the chat, which led to a trend of med students and residents doing joint entries.
The other person who notices Santos' non-subtle photographer moment is Perlah, who then tells Dana, who launches her own investigation. However, she doesn't fully discover what is happening until the next big entry into the bet group chat.
‘Nurse_Evans has been added to the Cat chat’
Nurse_Evans: Hey kids, so, cat Robby?
3. Bristling
There was a asshole patient in the ED which was not a new development however having them get physical with staff was. The ED staff just celebrated a month of no physical altercations, and now they had to reset the clock. Currently, the man was yelling at Princess and Mateo as they tried to calm him. Enter Robby pissed visbly ready to throw him out stepping in front of the nurses.
“ Sir, you need to calm down! You will be physically escorted out if you don't sit down and let my staff do their jobs!” Robby's body language reminded Javadi of a cat with its back arched, hissing at the other man. The whole ED was enraptured at the scene, many with their phones out, which allowed the med student to take a photo without raising suspicion.
‘Cat Chat’
Dr.Prodigy: [Bristling.jpeg]
Dr.Prodigy: He angy. Reminds me of those Halloween cats.
Dr.Slomonomo: Omg yes!
Dr.House_Arrest: Yay! We got one! Go team HouseProdigy!
Nurse_Evans: Oh, I am saving this one lol.
Dr.Lang_done: Mel and I will have the lead soon enough!
Javadi is about to reply when she hears someone coughing to get her attention, which nearly causes her to jump out of her skin. She turns, and Robby is standing behind her, giving her a disappointed dad look.
“ Doctor Javadi, if you are done with your phone, South Six needs their history taken.”
“Of course, sorry it was—it won't happen again.” She stammers and makes her way to the room. The attending nods and updates his chart, which is when he catches Dana’s eye. He gives her a ‘Kids these days, huh’ look, and she laughs before checking her phone again. She laughs and types something out before pocketing it and updating him on the goings-on of the ED.
4. Zoomies
Today was a good day for Doctor Robinavitch; the weather was good, he got a good night's rest, and he just felt physically good. He came into the ED with a pep in his step, much to the amusement of the charge nurse.
“What's got you in such a good mood, huh?” she asked as she prepared to update the doctor.
“ Nothing, just feeling good. What have you got for me?”
The beginning of the shift continued with his spark of energy as he moved from case to case, assisting the others when needed. Robby got a number of bewildered and amused looks as he checked in with his staff. During a hectic early afternoon, it really put him to the test as he practically ping-ponged back and forth between rooms. This is when Dana saw her opportunity, pulling her phone out. She shot a quick video of Robby practically running between rooms as residents either called out to him with questions or just checked in with patients. The video captured him going in and out of four rooms in the matter of 2 minutes.
‘Cat chat’
Nurse_Evans: [ Zoomy.Vid]
Nurse_Evans: Watch out folks! He's got the Zoomies.
Dr.House_Arrest: Lol of course on my day off.
Dr.Slomonomo: Omg, he was just in my room and I turn my back and then he was gone! Did he get into Langdon's energy drink supply? Lol
Dr.Lang_Done: I don't share and my money is he had someone over the night before.
Dr.Heather: Ew, do not speculate about our boss's sex life.
Dr.House_Arrest: Especially in front of the kids
Dr.Badass: My eyes my eyes! Oh god how will I go on?
Dr.Mel: Oh no, Trinity, I will save you!
Dr.Slomonomo: Great job Frank you scarred them for life.
Nurse_Evans: Kids back to work!
She locked her phone with a smirk as she continued to feel the chat vibrate. Dana scans the ED, finding the attending sitting at his workstation, and makes her way to him.
“Finally tired out? I think you got all your steps in the first hour.” She jokes
“ I think so, but there were a few interesting cases and teaching opportunities. But now I think I’m going to chart for a bit if anyone needs me,” he replied as he continued to work. Dana chuckled and scanned the ED.
5. Scruffing
It was a matter of time before the night shift found out, specifically Jack Abbott. You see, he has heard the whispers and giggles from staff about something to do with the other attending and, try as he might, has not found out why. At first, he thought someone caught them being intimate, but threw that theory out after only hearing Robby mentioned and not him. When he went to Dana about it, she also did not know what was happening, so he essentially sat in wait. While some may decide to go straight to the source and confront the gossipers, Jack knew better, as if they knew they were caught, all they would do is be more cagey. However, what the attending has heard makes little sense: ‘cat robby’ ‘ aw hes headbutting Dana’ ‘ooh big stretch ’. What in the world? Those making the statements were usually on the day shift. What was going on with that shift?
So when the day comes where he needs to stay into the day shift and finds out he is still confused. And no, Santos, the origin story is not helping. There is a multicar pile-up that requires a good portion of staff. Robby and his team take patients and triage them when it happens. Whittaker is about to be vomited on by concussed women he is assessing, and Robby scruffs the kid by his scrubs and moves him just in time. And yeah, it's nothing to write home about. The ED creates an atmosphere of few boundaries about physical touch, it's the reaction between Whittaker and Mohan that confuses him. After the other attending left, he caught their conversation about the whole thing.
“Are you willing to be my eyewitness?”
“Yup, we should be in the lead against Langdon now!”
“ What on earth are you two on about?” The two doctors look at him like deer in headlights, unsure how to explain it. Whittaker and Mohan knew that the two attendings were close but still had enough of their wits about them at the moment to pass the buck to someone else to explain.
“ Ask Dana about the ‘cat chat,’” Mohan replied, taking the lead in the situation. Abbott looked at her in confusion and got a little shrug from the two. Deciding that he was done with the dayshift weirdness, he made his way to the nurse's station, where he found said nurse, who apparently had all of the answers.
“ What is the ‘cat chat’ and why are Mohan and Whittaker being weird about it?” he asked tiredly.
“ Oh, Jack, it is great, but you cannot tell Robby I have money on when he finds out.” After agreeing and swearing up and down that he will not squeal, he is added to the cursed group chat. Later, he does regret this action a bit, but he has to say the payout later is worth it.
‘ Dr.MASH has been added to cat chat.’
Dr.MASH: wtf kids?!
+1 Cat is out of the bag
In the end, it was not who anyone suspected would accidentally expose the game and chat. Many thought it would be Whittaker, as the guy seemed to have the worst luck, or Javadi in a flustered confrontation about their behavior. Instead, it was Heather and over Robby reading a message off her phone as she was washing her hands.
[ New Message from: Cat Chat: Dr.Lang_done: So has anyone got a catrobby sighting yet?]
Heather's phone screen displayed from its spot on the counter as she washed her hands. Robby had just stepped up next to her to speak to her and looked down at the screen. He glanced up at her questioningly before asking:
“ What is a catrobby?” Shit she was screwed Frank was never going to let her live this down.
Later, the members of the group chat are summoned for what could be deemed the most mortifying and confusing discussion of recent history. By the end, ten people were in the chat and about 25 ‘Sightings’, a few of which were repeats. Poor Robby was so confused that he wondered if he should call psych or HR.
“ So this all started because you were discussing what animals the senior staff would be?” he hesitantly asked, unsure if the answer would be helpful.
“ Yes,” Trinity answered as the group chat's unofficial spokeswoman.
“Wait, what am I?” Abbott asked, somehow invested in their antics and willing to stir the pot just because.
“ Rabbit,” the OG groupchat members answered in almost unison.
“ What!? Why?”
“ Jack, not now. You can interrogate them about their thought process later.” The cat assigned attending interrupted.
“Okay, I guess I understand that part, but how did this lead to a group chat and bets?”
“ Oh, we were bored, and since Javadi is underage and Mel doesn't drink, we needed a game. Also, it was fun, " spokeswoman Santos answered nonchalantly.
At that, Robby looked more bewildered and sighed, accepting that he was not going to get anywhere. Trying to get the interns and residents to provide a straight answer was like playing chess with crows; it was not worth it.
“Okay, forget it. I don't want to know… just make sure HR or admin don't find out.” With that, he stood up and left because what do you do when your subordinates and friends create a group chat based on an offhanded joke? Walk away, apparently, and contemplate life.