Chapter Text
An Artist’s Guide To: A Disastrous life!
Part 1 (Ep 2-3)
…
‘My name is Y/n L/n. I’m a second-year student at PK Academy. I love any form of art, cryptography, and most importantly to you the reader, I’m friends with Kusuo Saiki, a psychic.’ Which entails what exactly? Well, it means Y/n helping Saiki to derail Yumehara’s schemes to win Saiki’s affection.
Y/n turns the corner, bumping into Yumehara, her papers falling across the floor.
“Oh! Sorry, Saiki—“ Her eyes widened before clearing her throat, “It’s you, L/n, sorry, I thought you were Saiki…” She looked away, her shoulders slumping.
‘You don’t have to act so disappointed.’ Y/n thinks before bending down to grab some of the scattered papers.
“Here, sorry to run into you.” Y/n hands the paper back to her.
“Oh, yeah, thank you.” She then turned away and ran down the hallway.
‘I feel a little bad.’ Y/n sighed.
‘She’ll be fine.’
Y/n nearly jumps out of his own skin, turning to see Saiki behind him. “A warning next time!” Y/n clutches his imaginary pearls.
‘You’re being dramatic.’ He looks at Y/n with a blank stare.
“You appeared out of nowhere, how else am I supposed to react?” Y/n crossed his arms.
…
Y/n sits next to Saiki during class, the lively environment filled with chatter. He idly drew varying patterns in his notebook. A very chipper Yumehara practically skips past Saiki and Y/n, as a pink handkerchief falls out of her skirt pocket. Y/n was too focused on his doodle to notice, and Saiki chose to ignore it. She then turns around, going out of her way to clearly pat herself.
“That’s weird! Where did my pink handkerchief—“
Y/n looks beside his desk and hands the fallen handkerchief to Yumehara. “Here it is, you must have dropped it.” Her face flattens flat as she takes it.
“Thank you.” She walks away in a hurry. Y/n furrows his brows at her, ‘Odd’.
And just like that, every single time without fail, Yumehara’s plans failed at every turn, either by Y/n or by Saiki’s meddling. By the end, she was at an all-time low, just as she was about to give up, her eyes caught onto the weather outside. It’s raining.
“Out of all the days, I forget an umbrella…” Y/n muttered, holding a hand out watching the water fill up and pour out of his palm. He looks to the side and sees Yumehara right next to him by the school’s main doors.
“You forgot yours too?” Y/n tilts his head.
“Yeah, there’s no way I’ll get home now.” She said, speaking louder.
‘Ah, trying to see if Saiki will share his umbrella.’ Y/n thought before looking away from Yumehara. “I might as well leave now so—“ Y/n looks up at the sky and sees it’s clear as day.
‘Saiki.’ Y/n noted.
“Did it just stop raining?” Yumehara also looks up, her shoulders slumped.
“Looks like it.” Y/n sees Saiki walking past him.
“Uh- I’m going home now, bye!” Y/n gives a short wave before going after Saiki.
“You think you put the final nail in the coffin? Or was literally changing the weather not enough.” Y/n teases, once getting far enough from earshot of Yumehara.
‘You’re making it sound like I’m being absurd.’
“I’m just saying, if I’d figured out that someone I liked, did all of this crazy stuff, just to get me out of their hair, I think I’d never recover.” Y/n grinned. However, there was some truth in his words.
…
“Hey buddy, you ready for the beach?” Nendo stands in Saiki’s home, holding an inflatable orca under his arm. “I saw your name on the door and figured this was your house.” He chuckled.
‘And you let this happen, Y/n?’ Saiki looks over behind Nendo. Y/n was trying to make sure everything was in his bag as he steps to the side of Nendo.
‘You think I wanted this to happen, it’s like he has a sixth sense for loners.’ Y/n mirrored his expression. ‘And besides, I like the beach.’
“Ku, is this your friend?” Kurumi looked shocked at him.
‘He’s not my friend.’ Saiki looks over at his mom.
“Oh dear!” Her eyes begin tearing up. “My little boy finally has a new friend. I’m so happy!” She cried out.
“We’re not friends. We’re best buddies!” Nendo exclaimed, causing Kurumi to cry more.
‘Damn and just like that I was replaced.’ Y/n joked to himself.
“My dear Ku is finally getting a normal life!” She goes closer to Nendo, and as she does, she notices Y/n.
“Oh! I didn’t even realize you were here.” She dries away her tears with a handkerchief.
“Hey Saiki, I didn’t know you had an older sister.” Nendo looks over at the pink-haired psychic.
“Oh dear, he thinks I look young enough to be Ku’s sister.” She smiles.
“She’s actually Saiki’s mom.” Y/n informs him. ‘I had a hard time believing it myself.’
“That’s right. What brings you two here?” She composes herself.
“We wanted to bring Saiki to the beach!” Nendo eagerly speaks.
“That’s so fun!” Kurumi squeals.
‘Uh, yeah, I’m not going. Sorry.’ Saiki looks at his mom.
“Your best buddies went out of his way to ask you in person. You’re going to the beach, Kusuo.” Kurumi's voice drops as she stares daggers at him.
‘Oh dear.’
…
Y/n sits near the shoreline of the water and sand, digging up a hole in the sand. Taking time to place shells and other sorts in a separate area. He looks up at Nendo mocking Kaido, something about the water.
“T-that’s not true! I know how to swim, jerk! I’m not afraid of the water!” Kaido stammers, his voice going up a pitch near the end.
‘Well, he’s turned on the water works.’ Saiki says, from his spot on the beach towel.
“There’s no way he can’t swim.” Y/n mutters to himself.
“Water!” Kaido immediately slips on plot convenience and falls into the very shallow water, immediately thrashing around like he was drowning. Scratch that, he was drowning. Somehow.
‘Drowning in inch-deep water isn’t easy.’ Y/n immediately slaps his hand over his mouth, trying to muffle his laughter.
“I’ll save you!” A red-headed man comes dashing in, jumping into the water to save Kaido, but unfortunately, when he does, his swim trunks slip down, revealing his ass to the whole world.
“Hey, it’s Hairo!” Nendo points out, while Hairo is bridal carrying Kaido.
“Nendo? Saiki and Y/n?” Hairo puts Kaido down on the sand.
“You getting some sun too?” Nendo puts his hands on his hips.
“Actually, I volunteer as a lifeguard.” Then he quickly turned away and ran off to a scream of help.
“I can’t believe he does that job for free in this heat.” Nendo watches him run away.
“I don’t even think I could do it if I got paid.” Y/n cringed watching Hairo fall and reveal his cheeks again.
“When are you going to get in the water, buddy?” Nendo looks down at Saiki, who is reading a book.
‘Just forget I’m here.’ He doesn’t look up from his page.
“You guys are no fun. I don’t want to swim in the ocean by myself.” Nendo puts on his sunglasses. “So, to the ladies.”
‘That sounds ridiculous.’
“You can’t be serious.” Y/n crosses his arms.
“With a face like yours?” Kaido jumps in.
‘Why not try walking on water instead? You’d have better odds at that.’
“That’s a good one.” Y/n snickers.
“My looks don’t matter. It’s all about attitude.” Nendo gives a thumbs up.
Who could’ve thought that everyone that Nendo ‘hit on’ rejected him? Again, again, and again. However, Kaido was showing opposite responses. In fact, the girls came over to him. Much to Nendo’s dismay. Saiki took this as a chance to disappear. To where? Well, to the bottom of the ocean, of course!
“I can’t believe he left me to babysit.” Y/n’s eyes twitched.
“I think she’s drowning!” Nendo called out, immediately rushing over towards the ocean, along with Kaido. Wait, Kaido?
“Saiki’s gone for one minute…” Y/n sighed, watching Hairo follow after the two. Kaido went down. Now Nendo is carrying him and the girl. But wait, Hairo finally gets there and— he gets a leg cramp. Now Nendo’s holding Kaido, the girl, and Hairo.
Then just as Nendo was about to sink with the others, he suddenly stood upright on the water, and now he is walking towards the beach.
‘Very discreet, Saiki.’ Y/n grinned to himself.
…
“A new semester begins, and a new set of burdens begins for you.” Y/n grinned. Both of them sat in their respective seats.
“You got a crush on someone, Teruhashi?” A group of boys asked, surrounding the glowing girl.
“It’s someone I ran into over vacation.” She sighs in contentment. “It was the 6th of August.” She quickly glances over at Saiki.
“I remember seeing you that day too. And the guy you were talking to was Nendo.” A guy spoke.
“YOU ARE WAY OFF, IDIOT!” She snapped, and then instantly regained her composure. “Y-yeah, his name is Yurio fidiot. He’s a Russian exchange student. You should get to know him!”
‘Nope.’
“I can’t believe she got away with the most on-the-nose lie.” Y/n leaned back in his chair. “Being a pretty girl is its own power, isn't it?”
“Saiki, Y/n.” Kaido looked at them with a stern expression.
“Is it just me or is Nendo acting weird today?” Kaido looked off to the side and— Wait, is he wearing an eyepatch?
‘You’re the one being weird.’
“Like usually, he’s always saying ’we should do stuff after school, buddy’.” Kaido stares at Nendo.
‘He is quieter than normal.’ Saiki is now looking too.
“I guess. Just, what is up with the new look, Kaido?” Y/n narrowed his eyes at him.
“Oh my look? Don’t worry about it,” Kaido places his bandaged hand over his eyepatch. “It’s a long story.” He looks off to the side.
‘I’m not worried about it. I just think it looks stupid.’
“I mean,” Y/n looked closer at the accessories, as close as he could from his desk. “The fabric used on the patch looks well made, the stitching technique seems to be holding up well, and I’m assuming the choker is bought…” Y/n paused, staring very closely at Kaido. “You did a great job making the eye patch!” Y/n gives a thumbs up.
“O-oh, thank you! I mean, it’s nothing! Anything to keep my secret powers restrained.” Kaido excitedly spoke.
Then Nendo makes some disgruntled noises before walking out of the classroom door, without saying a word.
“Huh.” Y/n’s brows furrowed.
‘What’s that all about?’
“Seems pretty fishy..” Kaido notes.
‘My interest peaked.’
“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. It all started-“
‘Stop it. I don’t care about your new look.’ Saiki interrupted.
…
“His house isn’t this way. He’s got something going on.” Kaido whispered, watching Nendo from an alleyway.
‘Why are you so excited by this?’ Saiki deadpanned.
“Are you dressed in incognito?” Y/n looks up and down at Kaido’s outfit. Kaido ignores them as he moves closer towards Nendo, still leaving distance between him and Nendo.
‘And why are you so good at tailing people?’
“Hey look,” Kaido whispered. “What’s Nendo looking at?”
Nendo stops and looks at the small girl that’s with her grandpa, he had the weirdest expression on his face.
“Creepy.” All three said.
“Nendo has a thing for little girls?” Kaido grimaces.
‘Doesn’t look good. We should probably call the police.’
Nendo walks into a small flower shop, the trio continues to trail him, watching as he walks out
holding a bouquet of sunflowers wrapped in a red ribbon.
“Don’t tell me he has a girl—“ Kaido interrupted himself, “No, not him.”
Next Nendo went to a bakery,
“A cake shop? He doesn’t seem like that type to eat that sort of stuff!” Kaidou looks back at his friends. “When you combine the flowers and cake, it’s clear he's trying to attract little girls!”
“Maybe you’re jumping the gun a bit here.” Y/n sighed.
“But what other possible reason could there be for buying those things? He doesn’t have a girlfriend, so tell me Y/n, why is Nendo buying all of this stuff?” Kaido grabs Y/n by the shoulders.
“Could be for his mom.” Y/n flatly spoke.
“But the weird looks towards little girls?” He lightly shakes Y/n.
“Maybe he’s sentimental. Seeing kids is making him think of when he was a kid. He does have a weird face after all.”
“I’m not buying it. It feels too innocent.” Kaido lets go of Y/n, turning back to look at the store.
“I think you just want him to be a predator.” Y/n mumbled.
“What I want is to know the truth!” Kaido stoically claimed. Nendo walks out of the cake store, as the three watch in anticipation.
“Bummer,” He holds up the cake box in his hand. “They were all out of shortcakes. Oh well,” His tone takes on a more sinister one. “It’s not like anyone will ever eat this.”
“Well if it’s not for eating then it must be bait.” Kaido went pale. “Nendo!” He called out, rushing towards Nendo. “Your secrets out!” He throws the weakest punch anyone’s ever seen. “How could you hurt little girls! You monster!”
‘Is that what his punches sound like?’ Saiki watched the two.
“Wait, what secret? You mean my dad?” Kaido stops punching him, and looks at him.
…
“He’s dead?” Kaido, Saiki, Nendo and Y/n all now stand in front of a grave.
“I visit on the anniversary of his bus accident.” Nendo spoke with a refined voice.
“But the flowers and cake?”
“Respectful offerings to the dead.” He holds up the cake box, “it’s normal to bring cakes and flowers to a family grave.”
‘To think that Nendo’s lecturing us on what’s normal.’ Saiki pushes up his green glasses.
‘I was so close to getting it right.’ Y/n thinks to himself.
‘That’s where your mind is right now?’ Saiki looks blankly at Y/n, who in return just gave a half-hearted shrug.
“When did your dad die, Nendo?” Kaido crouched down in front of the grave as Nendo placed his offerings on it.
“It was before I was born. He died saving a little girl, who ran in front of a bus.” Nendo finished placing the offerings and looked back at the group. “Huh, maybe that means he was into little girls.”
“Heh… Hope not.” Kaido nervously laughed.
‘That’s a dark joke.’
Y/n just snickered to himself.
“If he died before you were born, then he must’ve been pretty young.” Kaido notes.
“He was only 18 or 19 years old.” Nendo pulls out a photograph and shows it to the group. “Here look, I have a picture.”
“Hey wait,” Kaido’s eyes widened. “This is just a picture of you!”
“Nah, it’s him. My mom says I look more and more like him everyday.” Nendo smiled.
“You don’t look like him, you’re the same!”
“Yeah that’s crazy. People saw I look like my dad but this is on a whole other level.” Y/n looks at the old photo. “Saiki what do you think-“ He turns and sees Saiki with a shocked expression on his face, bordering on fearful. ‘That can’t be good.’
“Hey wanna go get some ramen?” Nendo called out.
…
Y/n sighs as he opens his house door, shutting it behind him. He haphazardly takes off his shoes and hangs his old bag on the hook. He looks around his old house looking for something,
“Odd, usually they’d come out and greet me.” He mumbles to himself, he goes over and opens his art room. When he does his eyes landed on two cats curled up sleeping on the window cubby. “Well, are you guys just the cutest?” Y/n fumbled around as he opened his phone to take a picture. After a few pictures he goes to pet the cats, reaching towards the one closest to him, Dog. He’s a brown cat with amber eyes, the oldest out of the two, being Y/n’s first pet he got on his own. The second one was an orange tabby, with green eyes, her name is Birdie. “I’m so glad you didn’t get into my art supplies.” Y/n softly rubbed Dog’s head. “Because if you did, no amount of cuteness could save you.”
He got up and went out of the art room, going towards his bedroom. He changes out of his school uniform, and binder, into more comfortable clothing.
‘Y/n.’ Saiki appears in Y/n’s bedroom door, holding up a white envelope. Y/n of course has a near heart attack at his sudden appearance.
“Stop doing that!” Y/n groaned as he went to sit on his bed. “You could’ve texted me first, I gave you my phone number just so you’d stop pulling this shit.”
‘It’s an emergency.’
“Oh?,” He raises a brow. “Let me guess, cockroach?” Y/n gets an envelope shoved in his face. He reads it, and his eyebrows raised. “That’s not good.”