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It was late at night. The room blanketed in an eerie silence as a certain man sat awake, plagued by the ever constant presence of insomnia.
It practically taunted him nearly every night.
And if not that, of course there were the constant nightmares. For, after all, Manjiro Sano had lead a life that was far from happy. A life wrought with tragedy ass. Of a childhood lost to the horrors of a world which had been far too hard and cruel for one who'd been so young.
Sometimes Mikey grieved for what could have been. All the what ifs playing in his mind on repeat.
What if he hadn't been cursed? What if Shinichiro had lived? What if Emma was still alive? What if he hadn't pushed away all of his friends? What if he'd tried to lead a normal life?
But a more practical part of him knew there was no looking back. No use for wishful thinking. And most of all, that he, a monster, didn't deserve to feel any sort of regret or sadness for the choices he'd made.
Mikey knew. Just as the sky was blue, he'd never and never will be a good person. And if he'd dared to give in to his selfish desires, he'd have only harmed those he still had left. Those he'd cherished.
And so he'd destroyed those bonds. Pushing everyone away. It was for their own good. And, in his heart he knew that. Armed with the knowledge of what he was. What Manjiro Sano was capable of. And he knew there was just no other way, for he couldn't control his dark impulses. And therefore, he'd had to let go of everyone to protect them.
It hurt. It was lonely.
But he'd convinced himself that he deserved it all. And perhaps he was making himself into a martyr. Resigned to the fate of being a ruthless gang leader. One who commits many atrocities. Someone that, deep down he was ashamed of. But it was all he was good for right?
As he mulled over these thoughts, he laughed bitterly. A joyless sound.
The man made his way to a desk in the corner of his room, turning on the lamp and subsequently opening a drawer.
After searching for a mere second, he pulled out a photograph.
Perhaps it was needlessly sentimental of him, but he'd kept at least one momento of his old life. A picture of Toman. But at present there was only one particular person he ached to lay eyes upon.
Takemitchy Hanagaki.
He'd never voiced it aloud. But Mikey had a special place in his heart for the guy. Wrought with feelings he knew he shouldn't feel.
Takemitchy had truly made a splash. He'd colored the man's world like nobody else could. And well, the gang leader had latched onto him for dear life, wanting to keep this beautiful thing. Having once dared to believe that, as long as he always had him, he'd be fine.
But that was just it. For as much as Mikey had claimed the other to be ‘his’ as if he were a possession of some kind, the fact was that Hanagaki was and had always been his own person.
Takemitchy had a girl he loved more than anything. He had a life where he could be happy and live simply. Free of danger and tragedy.
He was his own person and, most importantly, he was not Mikey's possession.
The Bonten leader loved Takemitchy. These secret feelings having been secretly harbored for many years. He was many things sure. But there was one thing he wouldn't let himself be. And that was a selfish homewrecker.
Pale fingers gently ghosted over the familiar face of a bleach blonde boy. A wistful smile crossing his features as he gazed upon the moment frozen in time. On the guy he could never truly have. That he'd never even try to claim.
He wanted Takemitchy to be happy most of all. And he was sure that, if it hadn't already happened, the man was surely going to marry Hina. Build a happy family with her. And live out the rest of his days in contentment.
There was no place for him in that world. And Mikey just had to accept that. Would force himself to accept it. No matter what.
“I love you.” He whispered.
‘Be happy’ He thought as he put the picture away, not looking back.
This was his life now. A life of cruelty, violence, crime and loneliness.
At least, that was what he thought.
Here he was, sat in the abandoned bowling alley. Reunited with the one person he really hadn't wanted to see again. Being reminded of what he longed for. What he couldn't have. The others intentions tearing open old wounds in his heart.
Takemitchy was getting married soon. And he wanted ‘him’ to be there too. What a laugh.
And, as if that wasn't bad enough, Takemichi had the nerve to point out how unhappy and unwell he looked. And he'd declared that he couldn't accept this future since he was unhappy. This pushed the leader of Bonten over the edge. After all, if Takemitchy went back in time again then all his hard work could be for nothing.
Mikey had retaliated cruley. His darkness taking over his initial desire to leave Takemitchy be. He had no choice. Or so he told himself.
He'd shot the man several times and had intended to leave him for dead.
But even that didn't go to plan.
Standing on the edge, looking at the city below, he thought ‘this is it. It's finally all over.’ He missed those he'd lost. And he was tired. Again he'd hurt someone precious to him. He was a disease. A curse that needed to disappear. So he'd jumped.
Except even that was thwarted as a hand grabbed his. One covered in blood. The evidence of what he'd done.
Mikey hated this. Why? Why was Takemitchy doing this? Why couldn't he have just forgotten about him? Why did he have to do this? And why couldn't he just let him die?
In the end, the person he loved most ended up awakening a part of him that he'd tried his hardest to bury.
Tears welled up in his eyes as he said “Help me Takemitchy! Please help me…”
One last plea before the end.