Chapter Text
Part 1-
“So…am I supposed to cook?”
Surprised and confused, Cullen looked up from rubbing Blade’s belly. “What?”
Eva Trevelyan-Rutherford rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip, “I said, ‘what do you want to eat’?’”
Since the Inquisition officially disbanded eight months ago, Cullen and Eva retired to the Hinterlands countryside. Remembering the beautiful greenery, the flowing waterfalls, and the open space she experienced during her adventures, Eva agreed with Cullen to purchase a small cottage for the three of them. Yes, Cullen insisted on adopting the abandoned Mabari from the Winter Palace, whom they named Blade.
Standing up, Cullen smirked, “Hmmm, no tavern food tonight?” He stepped closer to Eva, wrapped his arms around her waist, and nuzzled her neck playfully. His skin has tanned to a warm golden shade. He smelled like fresh cedar and sweat. Earlier he was chopping and sawing wood for the day’s needs.
Sighing, Eva smiled sadly, “Cullen, I…I want to be a good wife to you. You deserve someone who can cook and wash clothes and…and do other ‘wifely’ things…” Since moving in, they’ve been eating each night at one of three of their favorite taverns. It worked out well: she didn’t have to cook, he didn’t have to lie about her cooking.
Cullen slowly pulled back to look into his wife’s eyes, “You know that I love you and I think you are an amazing wife. We serve one another; we work together.” Blade barked in agreement. “But if you really want to cook tonight, I’d like that. In fact,” Cullen patted his thigh to get Blade’s attention, “We’ll head out now to get something ‘meaty’” Cullen kissed Eva’s cheek quickly. “We’ll be back. Wish us luck.”
Eva shook her head as she watched the two leave the cottage. She stepped towards the door to head out behind them but stopped. This was their home. This felt good. Observing her surroundings, she smiled: a comfy bed against the far left wall; a fireplace for warmth and cooking; an armoire; a desk for writing; a wooden table for four…
Simple. Comfortable.
Walking towards the fireplace which was gently kindling, she stared up at the one thing that, to her, was the embodiment of power: her two-handed Claymore. Memories. She could still feel the power that the weapon yielded. It still had its light blue glow from the enchanted runes. At one time, it was an extension of herself. Once she got her hands on it, she never let it go. Upgraded it a few times, but never exchanged it. Nah. She took it down every once in a while to clean and sharpen it. Just to feel a little bit of its power. Now that her left hand was gone and the war was over, the Claymore had been mounted above the mantel and stayed put most of the time.
Nonetheless, Eva kept herself busy. Outside their cottage grew a healthy garden. Tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, onions, elfroot, a small deathroot plant and embrium flourished. To the far right of their garden grew an apple tree which yielded juicy, greenish-yellow apples and to the left grew a pomegranate tree.
Stepping outside, Eva inhaled. The sun was shining brightly and the air was warm and fresh. Her dress rustled about her ankles with the blow of the breeze. She felt free. But she couldn’t ignore that small yearning for…something… that was always tugging at the back of her mind. I’m blessed, I’m thankful. She rehearsed such things in her mind. She needed to remind herself that constant threat and turmoil was not the norm and that peace and quiet is something coveted. But still…
Holding the gathering basket under her right arm, she walked into the garden and scanned the growing plants. What's for dinner? Something easy…“Hmm, potatoes…carrots…onions…” I’m sure I can make something suitable with that and…
“Nugs. Nugs will make a heck of a stew.” Recognizing the smug know-it-all voice of her Tevinter friend, Eva grinned as she turned around.
“Maker’s breath, Dorian?!” Dropping the basket, Eva ran to Dorian and leaped into his open arms. “What the heck are you doing here? You haven’t spoken to me through the crystals in like a week!”
Letting go of the embrace, Dorian shook his head and grinned, “You know, this whole ‘wife’ look you have going on,” he moved his hands animatedly over her form, “looks kind of good on you. Wha-Are you wearing a dress? Has your hair grown longer? We need to contact an artist immediately to catch all of this magnificence on a canvas!”
Eva rolled her eyes and walked back over to her abandoned basket, “Are you joining us for supper Dorian? I’m actually going to cook.” Eva whispered that point for some reason. “Perhaps what you’ve just suggested, although I’m not sure if the boys are going to bring home nugs or ram meat. Either way you’re welcome to stay.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Dorian just looked at Eva. He remembered fighting alongside her, zapping demons, freezing insane Red Templars, electrocuting crazy mages. Sigh. The joy. “I’m not staying for long, Eva. I just wanted to see you before I went back home. I had some business to take care of here…and wanted to surprise you.” Dorian surveyed the Rutherfords' yard and nodded in approval. “I’m really happy for you two. Perhaps a little…what’s the word for when you want what someone else has? Oh, optimistic.”
Eva looked over her shoulder at her best friend and grinned then yanked out a few more potatoes from the earth before standing up. Eyeing him curiously, she walked past him back towards the cottage, “Uh huh. Come on D, help me get this stuff ready for supper.”
- Cullen leaned back from the table and smiled while rubbing his belly, “Woman, you did a most lovely job on the meal.” Blade barked in agreement and returned to gnawing on his ram bone. Ram stew. She learned the recipe from her early days as the Inquisitor. The stew saved many lives back then.
Satisfied but mostly relieved, Eva stood up from the table and began to clear the dishes. “I thought I saw you dumping the stew on the floor for Blade, Cullen.” Eva joked.
“No, I most certainly agree with the Commander; this meal was as great as I said it would be. Now I must be off.” Dorian scooted his chair back and stood up with a stretch.
Eva tossed a few more plates into the wash basin before heading over to her friend, “It was great seeing you D. When do you think you’ll be back to visit us?”
Dorian hugged Eva and smirked at Cullen who was eyeing him warily, “Perhaps after you three become four? I’ll be certain to bring a gift for the celebration.” Dorian tilted his head to Cullen and patted the distracted dog lightly as he headed out, “I’ll contact you on the crystals soon my friend. Take care. I’ll let myself out.”
Cullen let out a long sigh before getting up from the table. Together he and Eva washed the remaining dishes, swept the floor, and kindled the night fire. Blade got up from his spot in the kitchen and went to his comfy corner near the front door. He was their night guard after all, under the leadership of a loving Commander.
"So, what do you think that was all about?" Cullen asked drying his hands on a cloth.
Eva shrugged, "I don't know. He said he had some business to take care of out here and just stopped by. I figured that he'd tell me if something serious was going on..."
Eva flung her apron over a chair and laughed to herself. A dang apron. I cooked my own dinner. My mother would be proud of my “transition”. When she lived at home with her family, her mother insisted that her three girls learned to cook. “You want to keep a man? Please his belly.” Her mother would say. But Eva was a warrior at heart. She enjoyed training with her two brothers opposed to baking cakes. Of course she wasn’t even thinking about marriage at the time nor was there anyone she was interested in.
But things were different now.
“Here, let me get that for you.” Cullen kissed Eva’s cheek gently before stepping up behind her. He didn’t know why, but he appreciated the fact that she began to wear dresses. This one was a soft cotton house dress, dyed in a light yellow hue. He noticed how the lemony color of the dress and the golden glow from the fire place complimented Eva’s warm copper toned skin. The dress outlined her curves and accentuated her breast. She also allowed her hair to grow longer. During their days at Skyhold, she kept her hair short and pulled back. Now her dark brown kinky curls fell wildly over her shoulders. The picture of tamed power and strength.
He ran his hands down her arms before untying the back of the dress for her. “You look rather…lovely…” He murmured in her ear, kissing the nape of her neck. Eva smiled, “Thank you.” Once he was finished, she turned around to face Cullen and kissed him gently. He pulled her closer to him, inhaling the warm scent of his wife. Cinnamon…sugar…
He thought about how he hated leaving her behind at Haven's chantry that sad night. It was either get the survivors out safely or everyone dies. The decision was made: Cullen would usher the survivors out through the path revealed by Rodrick while Eva distracted Corypheus with a grand avalanche. Cullen remembered looking at this brave woman who was ready to risk her own life to save the others, including himself. He wanted to kiss her at that moment.
When she was found near frozen to death after walking alone through the Frostbacks, he was over joyed. Within his heart he prayed every moment for her safe return. It took all his might to not hug her once she emerged from her tent bruised, disoriented, but strong and in control.
Cullen remembered their first kiss on the Skyhold battlements. He admitted to her that he'd wanted to kiss her before then. In fact, he wanted to kiss her quite a few times before then. He would watch her lips move during their war room debriefings. Full…a dark blush…He wanted to kiss her before she went out on important missions during their campaign against Corypheus. He wanted to kiss her goodbye. He wanted to kiss her for good luck.
But now, she was all his. So he kissed her; long and deep. He wanted more of her, to savor her. It was always in the back of his mind that if he didn’t, he would miss the opportunity. She could be called away from him at any time. Still.
Breaking away from the sweet kiss, Eva turned to the fireplace and looked into the large pot, “The water is ready now”.
She stepped aside as Cullen came forth to unhook the large pot from the hearth. Behind a partition was a large iron bath. He poured the pot of boiling water into the bath that was partially filled with cool water Eva collected from the stream earlier in the day. Eva tossed in some crushed elfroot, essence of cinnamon, and salt making the warm healing bath feel and smell beautiful.
“Ladies first?” Cullen smirked and bowed playfully as Eva approached the tub. Eva shooed him away. As he disappeared behind the partition, Eva allowed the yellow dress to slip from her shoulders and slide onto the floor. The water temperature was perfect. She sank down into the tub and exhaled. Then she inhaled, taking in the sweet aroma of the plants and spices, exhaling as she closed her eyes…
…You made the best decision. The inquisition was no more. Fereldan was relieved, Orlais was disappointed. It was for the best. But what about her friends? They agreed with her decision, but she couldn’t help but feel like she betrayed them; like she had given up; like she was missing out on something…I’m blessed, I’m thankful, I’m content. She rehearsed in her mind.
Eva’s eyes shot open to the rapping sound against the partition. Oops, totally forgot about the water getting too cold for Cullen’s bath. “Ok, ok, I’m finishing up.”
Cullen entered from the side of the divider, “Well, you know how I love cold baths…”
As Eva finished bathing, Cullen worked on removing his day clothes. No plated armor, just simple cloth and hide for hunting and working their small field. “It’s still warm, promise.”
Eva smiled playfully as she got out of the tub with the help of Cullen’s hand. He insisted she use his help to get in and out of the tub safely. She didn’t need his help. She could take down three darkspawn alphas with one dagger and an apple with her one good arm. Nonetheless, she indulged him; he wanted to take care of her. She dried off and then slipped on the night robe he held open for her. It was a late wedding gift from Grand Enchanter Vivienne. It was so Orlesian. The fabric was cream colored velvet. The lapels and ties were a pearl colored silk. It felt exquisite against her naked body.
Mimicking Eva’s previous gesture, Cullen shooed her out and got into the tub. “ERRRGGHH!”
Eva bit her lower lip to stifle her laugh, “It’s really not that cold. You can handle it.”
Ignoring Cullen’s mumbling, Eva walked over to their bed and drew back the quilt her mother made them for a wedding gift. Soon, they’ll be visiting Cullen’s family. Although she was excited, she was also a little nervous. Will they accept her? Or will they be intimidated by her? Will she be intimidated by them? Will her missing hand frighten the children? Will they accept the fact that she is from the Southern part of the Free Marches? Should it matter?
After some time, Eva could hear Cullen emerge from his bath. Closing her journal, she leaned over to blow out the candles, allowing the smoldering fire of the hearth to provide the only light. Disregarding the matching Orlesian robe hanging over the partition, Cullen walked over to the bed while drying his hair with a large cloth.
“Ready for bed?” Eva asked gently as Cullen sat down at its edge. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples briefly. He still suffered from headaches. Thankfully they weren’t brought on by reading war reports and arguing over inquisition matters. Now they were simply the lagging, annoying symptoms of lyrium withdrawal.
These headaches are going to be the end of me…
“Not quite. Come here.” Taking a deep breath, he motioned for Eva to enter his open arms. She kissed the top of his head as he curled his arms around her waist.
Looking down at her husband, she kissed his forehead, then his nose, and then his lips. “I love you. You know that, right?” She gently began to comb her right hand smoothly through his damp golden brown curls. She would begin with his forehead; moving her fingers firmly over the top of his head and to the back. Steady strokes. Front to back.
“I do.” Cullen closed his eyes as his wife gave him his nightly head massage. It was his main therapy. “And you know that I love you too.” Opening his eyes, he began untying Eva’s robe. Eva bent her head down to kiss him softly on the lips. They nipped each other lightly at first, allowing the heat to build. His hands gently wrapped around her waist and then smoothed over her hips, her bum.
He wanted to make her feel beautiful. He noticed how she looked at herself in the mirror lately; the hint of sadness crossing over her face as she studied her missing limb. The mark was killing her, so it had to be removed- along with her arm. But it didn’t make her less of a woman or less of a lover. She was still strong and beautiful to him.
A soft sigh escaped Eva’s mouth when Cullen’s soft lips found her collar bone. He loved her sounds. The way she moaned, the way she cried out- because of him. It was foolish, but he felt a bit of pride knowing that he was the only one who made this woman feel…good.
Eva looked down at her husband’s face with hooded eyes as she let her robe fall to the floor. With slight hesitation she straddled her former commander’s hips. He wants a child. Eva remembered him looking intently into his cup of tea while asking her if she was still swallowing deathroot seeds. Damn, he noticed the plant hadn’t been harvested, “Well…I was thinking that since we are no longer fighting to save the world…that I could…slack off the root a bit…look, I’ll make sure to-“ She raised an eyebrow at the look that he gave her. Relief? Hope?
“No, no there’s no need to. I noticed you not swallowing your seeds this morning…nor anytime last week... It’s good if you want to stop…I’ve wanted us to talk about it…” Cullen blushed and rubbed the back of his neck like he usually did when he was lost for words. Ironically, his meaning was crystal clear. The message was in his eyes.
Eva could feel Cullen’s length between them hardening as they continued to kiss. They have been trying for a baby for the past few months now with no luck. These things take some time, right? She hoped. She’ll write her mother about it in the morning. She was beginning to feel a bit disappointed when her menstrual would show up. A reminder of their lack of success. Kind of like she wasn’t… “working” properly.
Cullen leaned back on the bed and adjusted his position. “Ride me.” He watched as Eva took him with her hand. Stroking him firmly; up, down, up, down. Lifting herself up, she guided his length into her. He groaned and leaned his head back as she began to move up and down, back and forth against him. Fuuuck…His hips moved along with her steady pace. He watched as her breast bounced. Her nipples were brown like the milk chocolate drops he bought her from Val Royeaux. Probably why he bought them…
Eva bent forward to lay on his chest as she rode him. His hands cupped her bottom firmly as he pressed her down and rubbed her plump behind. The gentle rocking of their bodies, the calm fire, the soft passionate breathing, was what made it all worth it. The disbanding of all that Inquisition shit was worth it. To live life freely, right? They had their own space. They were officially married, officially one.
Pulling away from the light suckling on Cullen’s earlobe, Eva glanced briefly into his eyes. “What is it, love?” Cullen whispered hoarsely stopping his movements, worry furrowing his brows. Is she crying?
Eva sniffled and sighed in annoyance. “Baby don’t stop.” Eva whined and continued to move her hips over Cullen’s body.
“Eva what is it?” Cullen asked more sternly, totally not letting this go. When she closed her eyes and refused to answer, Cullen quickly flipped her over and under him, switching their positions. “Eva…” Cullen angled his hips away from Eva as to not enter her.
Eva surprised him with a slap across his face that was loud enough to make Blades ears perk up in alarm. “I said don’t stop and…don’t be gentle.”
“What the fuck, Eva!?” Cullen didn’t know what to do. He was torn between getting up from being pissed off and freaking hammering her. She had tears streaming down the sides of her face. He decided to do as she said and reentered her, albeit a little forcefully.
A passionate cry escaped Eva’s lips as Cullen continued to take her a bit more aggressively. She wrapped her legs around his narrow waist as he labored more intensely, rubbing his hips gingerly over her clitoris. Damn, she feels so good.
“Cullen,” Eva moaned as he bent down to suck on her earlobe.
“Hmm?” She could barely hear his response over the crescendo of her heartbeat, pants, and his breathing. “I want…I want to have your child.”
At her confession, he groaned deeply. Breaking away from her ear and neck, he kissed her. Thrusting his tongue in between her sweet lips. He brought his legs and hips higher up, pinning her underneath him to penetrate her deeper, faster. His hands moved underneath her ass to lift her up. “I want you to have my child.” He groaned out. “I’m ready…I want it.”
With that, Eva arched her back and cried out as her orgasm washed over her. Sobs from their passion escaping her throat. Her hips bucked up against him as the waves over took her.
Cullen dropped his head into the crook of his wife’s neck as his own pleasure mounted. He growled deeply as he continued to ride the clenching waves of Eva’s coming. He thought about what she said. The tears in her eyes. The insecurity on her face.
“I’m yours forever, Eva.” Groaning out a silent prayer to the Maker, he shuttered, releasing his seed into his wife.
----
Cullen wiped his forehead with the back of his right arm. The Spring sun was beating down harder than usual during its noontime high. He wacked the wood axe into the stump of the tree he just cut down and took a swig from his water flask.
“Ser Rutherford? Cullen Rutherford?” Cullen turned towards the voice behind him. It was a young male elf holding an envelope.
“Yes?”
“Message for you Ser,” Cullen took the envelope from the young elf and thanked him. The front of the envelope was addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Cullen Rutherford”. He flipped it over to see a red Kirkwall seal. There was only one person he knew that lived in Kirkwall that also knew he was married. Varric Tethras.
“Blade, come on.” Together they walked back to the cottage.
Eva was pouring what looked like water with thinly sliced apples and cucumbers into two cylinder glasses.
“What’s that?” Cullen crinkled his nose and lifted off his shirt. Eva gave him a look before he tossed the filthy shirt onto the floor. Instead he tossed it into the laundry basket.
“A little something that Vivienne taught me how to make back when we were in Val Royeux. Don’t know what it’s called officially, but we call it ‘spa water’”. Eva handed him a glass and then sipped from her own.
“Do you have to put stuff in it? Water’s perfectly fine the way it is.” He drank the cool water down quickly and let the cut fruit slide into his mouth. Chewing, he handed Eva the letter. “We received this today. Want to open it? I need to wash my face.”
Eva sat her glass down on the table and took the note from Cullen. He’s getting quite a sexy tan, she noted as he walked over to the tub. He knelt down and began splashing water over his face.
Opening the seal from the envelope, Eva began wondering what Varric could want.
Dear Eva (and Cullen),
Remember when I gave you the key to the city during the Exalted Council?
Well, now’s a good time to see how it works. I have a few days off and would like the two of you to join me in a game of Wicked Grace. Maybe knock back a few kegs of dwarven ale?
I have the perfect place set aside for the two of you and that humongous mabari.
What do you think?
Kirkwall isn’t as scary as it used to be. Promise.
Varric Tethras,
Kirkwall Viscount
“Whatever Varric had to say must have been…pleasing. You’re smiling quite mischievously.” Cullen went to the pitcher and poured himself more stupid spa water. He downed it and poured more.
“Varric wants us to visit him in Kirkwall for a couple days. I’d like us to go.”
Cullen looked less than amused and didn’t respond. Eva continued on, “Baby, I know that you know I’ve been feeling a little…bored. And so have you.”
“No,” Cullen lifted up his hand in correction. “You have been bored. I’ve been very happy sleeping as well as I’ve ever slept, grooming my new recruit, and working on expanding our home. My life is splendid right now.” Even though it’s been over twelve years since the events in Kirkwall transpired, Cullen honestly had no desire to revisit the port city.
“Cullen, I think I need this. I need to be around some friends. See what’s out there…” She didn’t know why, but she could feel something bubbling up in her spirit.
Cullen felt dread…