Work Text:
Fina closed her eyes and inhaled Marta's scent.
This was the first time they had truly had a quiet moment between them. Free of tension. Free of the danger of someone coming in and discovering them.
Marta kissing her in the storeroom had been charged. Surprising. She'd hardly known what to think, and Marta had been gone so fast.
Kissing Marta in her office had been softer, but fleeting - a moment to affirm that the storeroom hadn't been a moment of insanity. Or regret. Relief had washed through Fina to find Marta nervous but resolute, but in the middle of a workday, in Marta's office, there was no time for anything further than a gentle press of lips and longing stares.
So to have Marta in her arms, now, alone in this hotel room, was a gift. It hardly mattered what else did or did not happen. To feel Marta relaxed in her arms was enough.
She hated that Marta had never known true intimacy, that this vibrant, capable woman had been treated like her definition first and foremost was in relation to her husband. Jaime was an absolute fool to not know who he had, and to not support her in whatever she did. To not make her feel seen, listened to, heard.
She smiled when Marta squeezed her hand closer to her own chest and then started playing with her fingers, feathering over each knuckle, as if she were memorizing them. A small part of her wished she was looking at Marta's face right now, but she understood this was easier for her - it gave her some space to process this entirely new experience.
She pressed a small kiss to the back of Marta's neck, pleased to hear a small hum of happiness when she did so.
"Fina?"
"Mmm?"
"Were you...?" Marta's voice trailed off uncertainly.
Fina waited, but when Marta didn't continue, she softly prompted, "Was I...?"
She heard Marta huff softly and grip her fingers tightly.
"Were you...nervous your first time?"
"Of course," Fina answered. It was the truth, but she also wanted to normalize whatever Marta was feeling. "I wanted to run out of the room as fast as I could."
Marta laughed a little. "But you didn't?"
"No," Fina smiled, remembering. "I didn't."
"Why not?"
Fina shrugged. "Because I wanted to stay even more. I was nervous, but I was also ready. And the woman I was with...she had some experience. And she was kind."
Marta surprised her by raising Fina’s hand to her mouth and kissing it.
"Good. I'm glad. It makes me happy that it was a good experience for you."
Fina shifted, held her closer.
"And for you?"
She felt Marta tense briefly before sighing.
"It wasn't terrible. There was a boy I met when I was in Italy. It was a brief relationship. We both had no idea what we were doing. I'm not even sure I could call it a first time with all the fumbling. I was really curious to see what I was missing, and he was sweet enough. And then there was Jaime. He knew what he wanted, and I assumed he knew what he was doing, and that's just how it was supposed to be."
Marta was back to playing with Fina’s fingers, but this time it felt like was to calm a rising anxiety.
Fina chose her next words carefully. She was mindful that Marta still felt affection for her husband, if not a fervent love.
"Marta, it sounds to me that maybe you weren't given the chance to be...completely comfortable. It's also possible, given our society, that Jaime didn't even know to ask you about what you needed. Pero, mi amor, I just want you to know that whenever our first time happens, it will be because we are both ready. And not a second before then. I promise to always listen to what you want."
She felt Marta's relief as surely as it was her own, her back melting against Fina's chest, and Fina had to actively convince herself she didn't want to hunt down Jaime and strangle him. She knew she should give him the benefit of the doubt, if only for Marta's sake, but she felt herself growing angry that this woman felt pressured to be a certain way or to give herself over to someone who was oblivious to what his wife might want or need. It grated on her that he clearly never even asked.
"I can feel you getting mad, Fina." Marta's words shook Fina out of her own thoughts.
Fina sighed and readjusted her hold on Marta. "I'm not mad, mi amor. I just...I just....well, I hate that you haven't been treated as you should."
Marta was silent for a few seconds and then her next words had Fina's eyebrows rising.
"And how should I be treated?"
If Fina wasn't mistaken, there was a more than curiosity in her question - there was a hint of teasing in her tone. It almost sounded a little...flirty.
And Fina was happy to play along.
She pressed her mouth to the shell of Marta's ear. "Are you asking me how I would treat you?"
Now Fina was absolutely sure of Marta's tone when she wriggled back a bit against Fina and asked, "And if I am?"
Fina grinned and kissed Marta just below her earlobe.
"Well...then I would tell you that I would always make certain that your feelings are taken into account. I will always make sure to ask what you want. And," she added, sliding her hand from Marta's grip and cupping her palm around Marta's hip instead, letting her thumb brush over the fabric there, "I will always want to know what...feels good to you."
Fina felt Marta shiver, and then she unexpectedly flipped over onto her back, wide blue eyes looking up at her.
"What if I don't know what feels good to me?" she asked, words tumbling out in a rush, her eyes filling with worry.
Fina reached up and delicately brushed at blonde curls.
"Marta, no te preocupes. You are not required to know. Te lo prometo, no habrá examen. We will go as slow as we need to. And you can decide what you like, what you want, as we go." She traced Marta's hairline with her index finger, tucking a wild curl back behind her ear. "Does that sound okay?"
Marta blew out a breath and then covered her eyes with a hand. "Lo siento," she mumbled. "I know this isn't what you -"
"Para," Fina interrupted firmly before Marta had a chance to start spiraling. She pulled Marta's hand off her eyes. "Marta, mírame."
Reluctant blue looked up at her.
"I need you to hear me. I am so unbelievably happy to just be here with you. This? Right now? This is amazing. I get to lie here next to you, listen to you, hold you." She paused, looked at Marta's mouth, and then leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. "Kiss you. Believe me when I tell you, I'm in heaven."
Marta was quiet for a moment and then reached up and pulled Fina's mouth down to hers again. The kiss was unhurried. Mindful. Marta's hand slipped down Fina's back, pulled her closer. When they parted, Marta nudged Fina's nose with her own. Smiled.
"So am I."
"Bien," Fina replied. "Then let's just enjoy this moment."
Marta nodded, her eyes running across Fina's face, taking her in. And Fina did not miss where they eventually landed. Nor was she surprised at Marta's next words.
"Fina?"
"¿Sí?"
Marta's expression was almost shy, and yet Fina felt pride swell in her chest at the confidence in her voice.
"Kiss me again?"
Fina cupped Marta's jaw. "Por supuesto, mi amor."
Marta didn't think she'd ever felt so safe in her entire life as in Fina's arms.
She had arrived to this room an absolute jangle of feelings - excited, nervous, hopeful, shaky, aroused, curious. And every two minutes the dominant feeling changed until the second Fina walked in the door.
And then, she had no idea what to do with herself - where to put her hands, where to look, how to even start any of this. Did she wait? Was she supposed to just grab Fina? Did Fina expect her to do or say something specific? And how was she supposed to know?
Questions and uncertainties swirled in her brain, and in desperation for something to do, she fell back on habit - undoing her buttons, giving what she assumed was wanted, pushing aside anything she might be feeling.
Except...for the first time in her life, she was interrupted. Fina stopped her, held her hands, and told her to slow down, that what she was feeling was...normal. That it was okay to feel that way. And that there was no pressure to do anything she didn't want to do.
At first, Marta couldn't even begin to process what that meant. She'd never before been offered the simple gift of time. Time to wait, time to breathe. And here was this woman she was somehow already so in love with, giving her the space she needed to adjust to all these new feelings that seemed to be pouring in from every direction.
But as Fina guided her to sit on the bed, to tuck into her embrace and simply talk, the pressure in Marta's chest began to ease. Because Fina was true to her word. She asked for nothing more than Marta was comfortable giving. There were no hopeful suggestions, no thinly-veiled comments to incite guilt. All Marta was aware of was the security of Fina's arms around her, her soft voice in her ear, the occasional warm touch or easy, reaffirming kiss.
It made Marta feel safer than she had in a very long time.
Before she realized, they had been talking for hours. But conversation in the last few minutes had started drifting off, eyes had begun closing for longer periods. The clock on the wall told Marta it was late. And the feeling in her toes told her she was starting to feel more than a little chilled.
"Fina?" Marta nudged forward and bestowed another kiss to Fina's lips. Because she wanted to. Because she could.
"Mmm?"
"No quiero mover, pero...tengo frío."
Fina's eyes fluttered open and then she chuckled. "Yo también. I just didn't want to ruin the moment."
Marta found Fina's hand and squeezed. "You couldn't ruin this moment if you tried."
Fina smiled and kissed the tip of Marta's nose.
"Do you want to get under the covers?"
The question was gentle and innocent, but Marta froze all the same.
Fina noticed right away. She propped herself up on her elbow, concern etched on her face.
"¿Qué occure?"
Marta shook her head. "Nada. It's just that..." she swallowed, feeling foolish. "I didn't bring anything to...sleep in."
A look of understanding crossed Fina's face.
"Ah. And you're worried about that."
Marta blew out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not...worried. I'm...I don't really know what I am. I thought I was ready for everything earlier tonight. But obviously that wasn't true...." She rolled her eyes at herself, and couldn't quite look at Fina. A wave of embarrassment rolled through her, unbidden, even though she knew Fina would tell her it wasn't warranted.
Fina sat up, and when Marta finally looked up at her, her shoulders were relaxed and open, and her expression was calm.
"Marta, escúchame. I don’t care what you wear or don't wear to bed. I don’t care if you want to put your coat back on to sleep. All I care about tonight is that you make decisions for yourself and you're comfortable. That's it. ¿Entiendes?"
Marta took a deep breath and nodded.
"Bien. Now, do you want to put your coat back on?"
Marta smiled a little and shook her head. "I'd be too hot."
Fina laughed gently. "Pues, bien. One decision made. See how easy?"
Marta rolled her eyes again. "Not wearing my coat in bed is not a hard decision."
Fina nodded and touched Marta's face. "What feels like a hard decision?"
Marta's eyes slipped shut at Fina's touch. "Taking anything off," she whispered. The next thing Marta felt was the touch of Fina's lips against hers.
"Lo sé. Let me see if I can help. Would it be okay with you if I got a little more comfortable?"
Marta's eyes opened back up. A nervous energy shot through her, but this time...it wasn't frightening. In fact, if she had to give it a name, Fina's question seemed to cause her a certain amount of excitement.
Oh.
It was the only thought that came to her.
And then, Say something, Marta.
She hoped she didn't look as flustered as she felt when she said, "I think so."
"Bueno," Fina answered. If she could see what sort of effect she was having on Marta, she gave no indication. She just kept talking calmly. "I'm going to take off my sweater and skirt because I have been wearing them all day and I don't want to sleep in them. And then I'm going to get under the covers and turn on my side because that's how I like to sleep. Still okay?"
The thought of Fina taking any clothes off caused Marta's brain to go blank for several seconds before she realized that Fina was expecting a response. She managed to nod.
"Está bien."
Fina nodded back and slid out of bed. She turned and, keeping her back to Marta, shrugged off her sweater, setting it aside. She then deftly unzipped her skirt, let it fall to the floor, and her stockings followed shortly thereafter. Suddenly Fina was only in her loose blouse and undergarments.
Marta didn't know where to focus her eyes. She wanted to look away, to give Fina some privacy, but she felt a little silly closing her eyes and every time she looked elsewhere, her eyes kept sliding back to Fina's legs and all the bare skin now on rather generous display in front of her. Worse, for all her nerves, something in her tugged with a little disappointment that she couldn't see...well, more. Marta blushed at the mere thought of Fina perhaps taking off her blouse as well, and an odd shot of adrenaline raced through her veins. She forced herself to take a very deep breath.
Slow down, she told herself. This is no time for a heart attack.
Fina must have known she was staring. Must have known that Marta couldn't take her eyes off her. But she made no indication of it in any way. In fact, when she turned to draw back the covers, she didn't even look at Marta. She simply did exactly what she said she'd do - slipped under the covers, arranged her pillow under her head, and turned on her side with a contented sigh.
"Much better," she mumbled, burrowing into the pillow.
As Marta stared at her shoulders peeking out from under the comforter, she was aware of three things. One, she was only getting colder. Two, the only way to fix that was to get under the covers. Three, it was entirely up to her what she was wearing when she did so.
Her choice.
She swallowed hard, nodded as if to encourage herself, and eased off the bed to her feet. Looking down, she noted that her top was mostly unbuttoned anyway, so she flicked open the remaining two buttons and slid it off her shoulders, leaving her in her black camisole.
She briefly considered keeping her skirt on, and then dismissed it, deciding it would be both annoying and cumbersome. It quickly joined its counterpart on the floor. Her stockings were the next to go as she loathed them on a good day, and there was no way on this earth she wanted to sleep in them.
She was a little surprised to realize she was left wearing very little. She was even more surprised to realize she wasn't quite as scared about that as she thought she'd be.
She glanced over at the bed and at Fina, who still hadn't moved, and with a deep breath pulled the covers back and slid underneath them.
But as soon as she did, she froze again, once more not quite sure what to do with herself. Just...go to sleep? Get closer to Fina? Shove her head under the pillow and somehow ignore the fact that her heart and lungs and stomach seemed to be holding a flamenco contest, complete with castanets, and it was a race to see which one leapt out of her chest first?
Marta, cálmate. Estás bien. You're safe. You're safe here with Fina.
Marta closed her eyes, made herself take slow, deep breaths. And when she opened her eyes, she knew what she wanted.
She edged closer to Fina under the covers until she was almost touching her.
"Fina?"
"¿Sí?"
Marta tentatively reached out, placed her hand on Fina's hip and curled her palm around it. Tried not to think too much about how soft her skin was to the touch.
"Is this okay?"
Fina shifted a little. "It's more than okay," she answered. Marta noticed that there was a little husk in her voice, and that somehow...made the castanets clack harder in her chest. She swallowed.
"And is it okay if I..." she wanted so badly to ask, but the words were sticking. Just ask. "...if I hold you?"
She felt a tremor underneath her palm, and oddly, the fact that the idea affected Fina as well comforted Marta. If Fina was nervous, too, maybe what Marta was feeling wasn't so strange after all.
Fina's answer was simple. "Por supuesto."
Before she could second-guess herself, she slid into place behind Fina.
It was like a key finally fitting into a lock, clicking solidly into place.
Almost on instict, Marta molded around Fina's back. She tucked her knees behind hers, slid her arm over her hip, and pressed her nose into the dark curls of Fina's hair fanned over her pillows.
Marta's senses were instantly overwhelmed in the best way she'd ever known - by Fina's scent and the sound of her breathing and her gentle curves melting into her own - and she hardly knew what to focus on.
But her body seemed to know what to do.
She curled more fully around Fina, hyper-aware of everywhere their skin was touching, and without thinking, her hand slipped under Fina's loose blouse to lie flat across her belly.
Fina immediately jolted.
Startled, Marta instantly yanked her hand away. She clenched her fist, her cheeks already burning.
"Lo siento, lo siento, Fina," she started, already backing away. "I didn't mean, Dios, I am so sor-"
"Marta." Fina caught her hand just as she was pulling back, mortified. Marta stopped mid-apology, and simply froze, cheeks on fire, convinced she'd just ruined everything. She barely heard Fina's voice when she said, "Está bien, está bien. Tranquila, por favor."
"Lo siento," Marta whispered anyway, "I should have asked."
"Marta," Fina replied, and she slowly moved to fit back into Marta's embrace. "Está bien. You just surprised me, that's all. I wasn't expecting you to..." she trailed off, cleared her throat.
"Dios," Marta muttered. "You didn't expect me to...?"
Marta thought she heard the hint of a smile in Fina's reply. "...to be so forward."
Marta groaned and dropped her head against Fina's back. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
Fina slowly drew Marta's arm back around herself, and then guided her hand once more under her shirt to lie flat against her stomach.
"I think you have more of an idea than you think."
Marta closed her eyes. Forced herself to breath. Let herself feel.
Fina was snug in her arms. Her warm skin was flush with her own. Her curves were fitted into Marta's. She could feel the steady rise and fall of her breath under her palm. And the faint citrus of her perfume made Marta think of lazy summer days and how Fina's sun-kissed skin would smell.
It felt good. It felt right.
Marta opened her eyes and tucked her chin over Fina's shoulder.
"I think this is something I really like. Holding you."
She heard Fina hum in the affirmative. "I think it's something I like very much, too."
"Can we stay just like this?" Marta asked, nuzzling into Fina's neck, her hammering heart calming, her body relaxing into their embrace.
"Mi amor, we can stay exactly like this for as long as you'd like."