Work Text:
7:30 AM – The Morning Menace
I walk into the studio, coffee in hand, already exhausted.
And there they are.
Phuwin is sitting in my chair, scrolling through his phone like he normally does. Pond, however, is draped over his shoulders like a human scarf, chin resting on Phuwin's head….his freshly washed hair.
"Pond," I say, voice flat. "I need to do his hair."
Pond doesn't budge. "You can do it like this." He nuzzles into Phuwin's scalp for emphasis.
Phuwin sighs. "Pond. I swear to god—"
"You're adorable when you're angry", Pond coos.
I take a deep breath. I get paid to style hair, not to witness whatever this is.
Next day at 9:00 AM – The "Coincidental" Scheduling
Later, I check the appointment book.
Pond: 10:00 AM.
Phuwin: 10:30 AM.
Hmm.
At 10:15, Pond is still in my chair, spinning lazily while Phuwin "conveniently" shows up early.
"You two set this up on purpose, didn't you?" I say.
Phuwin blinks, eyes wide, full of fake innocence. "Fate works in mysterious ways."
Pond grins. "We're just that in sync."
Adds "bullshit detector" to my resume.
Make a note to start charging extra for emotional distress.
12:00 PM – The Dressing Room
My phone buzzes violently. It's Jan.
Jan: I LOST THEM AGAIN.
Jan: AGAIN. MILK. HELP.
I sigh and head towards Phuwin's dressing room, only to nearly collide with Jan as she comes sprinting down the hallway, completely out of breath, her arms full of fabric samples.
"They—huff—keep—wheeze—disappearing—" she gasps, grabbing my arm for support.
Before I can respond, she storms into Phuwin's dressing room, where—shocker—Pond is lounging on the couch while Phuwin holds up one of Pond's shirts.
"This doesn't fit me," Phuwin says, examining it.
Jan, still panting, storms over, snatches the shirt out of his hands, and then grabs Phuwin by the wrist, dragging him out into the hallway.
"Both of you," she snaps, pointing at Pond, who blinks innocently. "In my line of sight. Now."
Pond, amused, follows without protest. Jan sets Phuwin in front of the full-length mirror, then shoves a pile of clothes into his arms.
"Try. These. On." She turns to Pond, shoving another pile at him. "You. Stand here."
Pond grins. "Jan, are you keeping us apart?"
Jan glares. "I'm keeping you from making my job impossible."
I lean against the doorframe, sipping my coffee, thoroughly entertained.
Phuwin, ever the little troublemaker, holds up Pond's shirt again. "But Jan, this one's cute—"
Jan snatches it back. "No."
Pond, grinning, reaches over to tug at the sleeve. "It does look good on him, though—"
Jan slaps his hand away. "NO."
I finally lose it, laughing into my coffee.
Jan turns to me, desperate. "Milk. Help me."
I shrug. "I just do hair. This is your nightmare."
Jan exhales, long-suffering. "I'm adding 'prison warden' to my resume."
(Later, I catch her muttering under her breath about "mandatory separate dressing rooms" and "leashes." I honestly don’t blame her at all.)
3:00 PM – The Manager's Lifespan = -100000
I'm touching up Phuwin's makeup when Aou storms in, phone glued to his ear.
"No," he hisses, "we can't put them in separate cars. What part of 'human barnacle' don't you understand?"
Higher-ups snap through the speaker: "It's unprofessional!"
Aou makes eye contact with me, sheer desperation in his gaze. "You try separating them. I dare you."
Five minutes later, we watch from the studio window as:
Pond's assigned car pulls away…….without Pond in it.
Phuwin's car door opens and there Pond is, buckling up like he's meant to be there all along.
Phuwin doesn't even bat an eye, just scoots over to make room.
I sip my iced coffee. "We should film this for the HR incident report."
Aou's soul visibly exits his body.
6:00 PM – The Camera Crew's Trauma (PTSD = PondPhuwin Traumatic Stress Disorder)
I'm fixing Pond's flyaways between takes when the director yells "CUT!" for the seventh time.
To be fair, today's shoot is supposed to be fun—a gameshow-style promo where everyone's goofing off between challenges. The problem?
The "group" footage is just:
Pond whispering nonsense in Phuwin's ear while the MC attempts to explain the rules
Phuwin giggling at only Pond's terrible jokes, ignoring everyone else's
Them standing so close that the other actors look like cardboard cutouts
The editor rubs his temples. "Can we just… crop everyone else out?"
The cameraman sighs. "I'm charging overtime for emotional damages."
I nod solemnly and pass around my emergency vodka gummies. "At least they're having fun," I mutter, as Pond piggybacks Phuwin across the set for no reason.
10:00 PM – The CEO Finally Notices
We're summoned to an emergency meeting about the "PondPhuwin Situation."
CEO: "Are they... dating?"
The entire staff choruses: "YES."
CEO hesitates. "But are we sure they're not just...I don't know, like really good friends?"
That's when I project my phone gallery onto the conference room screen:
Exhibit A: The Lunch
Pond feeding Phuwin bite-by-bite during break
Phuwin licking sauce off Pond's thumb like it's normal to do so with the bros
Exhibit B: Jan's road to madness
Security footage of them swapping clothes between takes
Pond wearing Phuwin's signature necklace for 3 days straight
Jan's increasingly unhinged texts:
12:03PM: "they took each other's jackets again"
3:47PM: "now they're sharing socks??"
5:02PM: "THEY'RE STEALING EACH OTHER'S UNDERWEAR NOW"
Exhibit C: The "Temple Kiss" Video
My 4K close-up of Pond kissing Phuwin's temple while I curled his hair
Phuwin's sleepy smile afterward
Bonus Clip:
Pond's Instagram Story (deleted after 2 minutes):
"Good morning :)" → Camera pans to reveal Phuwin sleeping in his bed.
Aou quickly added, "Also, they listed each other as 'emergency contacts'... under 'spouse.' "
The CEO blankly stares. "...Okay. But no more PDA."
Next Morning
I'm mid-eyeliner on Phuwin when his phone dings. Pond's text lights up the screen:
Pond: miss u 😘
Phuwin: ...you're literally in the next chair.
Two hours later, Phuwin posts a selfie: Pond's arm around him, lips barely not touching his cheek.
Caption: What's PDA?
Aou screams into a pillow. Jan starts researching witness protection programs. I begin drafting my resignation.
(I won't send it. Who else would document this mess?)
Epilogue: The Aftermath (Or: How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Chaos)
Let's be real, none of us actually survived working with PondPhuwin. We just adapted.
Jan now carries a spray bottle for when they get too clingy during fittings. ("It works on cats," she insists. "Why not them?")
Aou has given up entirely and just books them joint schedules. "Separate cars? Separate dressing rooms? Foolish mortal dreams."
The camera crew edits them into their own little universe in every group shoot. Fans think it's artistic. We know it's self-preservation.
And me? I still do their hair. I still witness far too much. But I've also found the secret:
PondPhuwin aren't disasters.
They're professionals.
Because somehow, through all the chaos, they still look flawless on camera. Their chemistry sells out fanmeets. Their "will-they-won't-they" keeps the internet fed.
So yeah, I drink a lot of coffee. I mutter curses under my breath. I occasionally question my life choices.
But would I trade this circus for a normal, peaceful job?
…Okay, maybe.
But until then?
I'll be here. Styling their hair. Rolling my eyes. And secretly cheering them on.
(…Because let's face it—we're all invested now.)
Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ would NOT recommend
THE REAL END.
(…Probably….)