Chapter Text
"Happy anniversary baby," Cas smiled and took Dean's hand over the table. Dean smiled back at him, squeezing his hand gently.
"Happy anniversary Cas. I love you." Dean said, making the smile on Cas's face grow even wider. The waitress had just collected their plates away and they were now waiting for their dessert. Suddenly Cas let go of Dean's hand, got up to walk around the table and sit on Dean's side of the booth. Even as it was their first anniversary they didn't want anything too fancy, just a dinner at a Chinese restaurant was good enough for them. As long as they were together they were happy. And of course, two high school students wouldn't even be able to afford a dinner at a fancy restaurant so Chinese it was.
"I have something for you," Cas whispered, looking Dean deep in the eyes with a slightly nervous smile on his lips. Cas was holding something in his hands and the way he fiddled with it draw Dean's attention down to it. Cas rubbed his thumb over a black box, not small enough to be a ring box but only slightly bigger.
"Cas, we agreed on no presents. I didn't get you anything." Dean sighed. He felt kind of bad suddenly because of course Cas would ignore their agreement and get Dean something anyway. He should have seen this coming and gotten something for Cas too.
"It's okay Dean, you don't need to get me anything. You are enough, you are all I need," Cas said almost shyly and leaned in to quickly press a small kiss on Dean's lips before leaning back away and biting his lower lip, a nervous habit that Dean had learned to love ever since the first time they met. Cas looked down to his lap where he was holding the box and finally handed it to Dean. "I hope you like it."
Dean took the box. Cas bit his lips again as Dean slowly opened it. Inside there was a dark brown leather bracelet with a small charm on it. The flat metal charm was engraved, "always with you" written on one side of it. Dean picked the bracelet up and looked up at Cas.
"It's so cheesy," Dean said with a huge grin.
"You love cheesy, don't even try to tell me otherwise," Cas smiled. He made a small swirling motion with his finger, "turn it around." Dean gave him a quizzical look before looking back at the charm, turning it around. On the other side was engraved a small angel. "Because you always call me your angel so..." Cas blushed slightly, shrugging his shoulders shyly.
"It just got even more cheesy!" Dean chuckled. He leaned in to quickly kiss Castiel.
"So, do you like it?" Cas asked, pressing his teeth against the corner of his lower lip.
"I love it, it's perfect. Help me put it on." Dean held out his wrist and the bracelet. With a big smile, Cas locked the piece of jewelry on Dean's wrist. As soon as it was on Dean lifted his hand up to look at the bracelet. "It fits perfectly. Thanks, Cas, I love it. I love you." Dean smiled. Cas reached out to take his hand.
"I love you too. I'm glad you like it." Right at that moment, the waitress came back to their table with their one ice cream bowl and two spoons. As soon as the woman was gone Dean took a spoonful of chocolate ice cream and held it up for Cas who opened his mouth, letting Dean feed him. Then Cas did the same for Dean with strawberry ice cream.
"We are so gross." Dean chuckled with his mouth full of ice cream, shaking his head a little.
"Grossly cute you mean?" Cas smirked back at him, holding another spoonful of the desert in front of Dean's face, waiting for him to open his mouth. Dean swallowed and immediately took the treat Cas was offering for him.
"Exactly. We are sweeter than this desert." Dean said, making Cas burst out laughing.
"Yeah I guess we are. Give me some of that strawberry." Cas said, motioning towards their bowl. Dean gladly fed more ice cream to his boyfriend.
After the bowl was empty they paid for the dinner together and walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. It was a warm summer evening, the sun was just about to go down. Dean led Cas into the park nearby. When they sat down on a bench near the water fountains Dean pulled Cas's legs to his lap and Cas scooted closer to Dean's side. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas who pressed his hand on the back of Dean's neck, his other hand holding to Dean's side. Dean leaned down to press their lips together.
They were alone in the park so they could finally properly kiss instead of just giving each other quick pecks. Cas's hold on the back of Dean's neck got a little tighter as the kiss grew deeper and Dean moaned lowly into Castiel's mouth. After what felt like forever, they had to pull away for air.
"I want to tell them." Dean broke the silence. Cas leaned away from him so he could see Dean better.
"What?" Cas asked with a furrowed brow.
"Cas, I'm so happy with you. I've never in my life been as happy as I've been this year and it's because I have you. They have noticed it too! But we've been hiding our relationship from them all this time and it sucks." Dean squeezed Cas's shoulder and took a breath. "I'm tired of looking over my shoulder every time we are somewhere public together just to make sure no one of my dad's friends will see us. I want to tell them. I'm sure they would understand and eventually accept it. I don't want to hide you, us, anymore. I want to stop sneaking around them all the time. I want them to know that I'm with you and how happy you make me." Dean spoke quickly. Cas just stared at him.
"Dean, I don't know if that's a good idea. I understand what you mean and I hate the fact that I can never come visit you at your home but Dean... What you have told me about your parents I don't think it's a good idea to tell them about us." Cas said with a calm voice. He looked nervous.
"No Cas, I want to tell them, I want you to meet them and I want to bring you to my house even if they are at home too. They will understand, they have to understand!" Dean insisted. He looked down to his lap and swallowed. "I can't keep lying to them anymore. It's killing me. I want to come out, I want to be able to be who I really am." Dean added quietly. Cas sighed and opened his mouth to say something but Dean continued. "Cas, they are my parents. I know them, trust me I do. They will understand and accept us. I'm sure when they finally meet you they are going to love you." Dean smiled and placed his hand on Castiel's cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. Cas sighed again.
"I have a bad feeling about this. Please consider this again, okay? I know it's hard and you know I would give anything to stop hiding what we have but..." Cas shook his head, "we are almost done with high school and after graduation, we can move away together. Just a few more months, then you can tell them. Just, don't tell them yet. Please, Dean." Cas looked at him with pleading eyes. For a moment Dean sat there in silence, looking back in Cas's eyes. Then he looked down, shaking his head with a sigh.
"What, I would just call them from the other side of the country like 'hey yeah forgot to tell you, I've been dating a guy for over a year now. Okay, great talk bye!'? That would be so cold. I have to tell them face to face, and I have to do it as soon as possible. Don't worry Cas, it's all going to be okay, I promise you that." Dean said and pressed their lips back together before Cas could say anything else. Cas sighed into the kiss. Dean could tell Cas didn't like this, that he wanted to argue more but they both knew it would be pointless. Once Dean had made his mind about something it was almost impossible to make him change it.
Three days later Dean was finally given the opportunity to talk to both his mom and dad at the same time. He asked them to join him in the kitchen, asking them both to sit down around the table as he stood in front of the counter.
"So umm... mom, dad, I have something to tell you. This isn't easy but I want you to just... listen and not freak out. Okay? Okay, here we go. So um... I'm bi." Dean spit it out, quickly glancing at his parents. Mary looked surprised but John obviously didn't have any clue what Dean had just told him, so Dean continued. "As in bisexual, that means that I like both girls and boys," Dean said. Before he could continue John stood up so fast that his chair almost fell down and pressed his hands on the table in front of him.
"What? No, you don't! My son isn't gay, I didn't raise a gay son!" John was suddenly yelling, making Dean jump back a little, flinching at his father's reaction. "This is a good family," John added.
"No, dad I'm not gay! I'm bi. I like girls too." Dean said with a quiet voice, trying to stay calm. His dad was scary when he was mad and Dean wasn't afraid of him for no reason. Oh, he had plenty of reason.
"That's not even a thing! And how can you know you 'like boys' when you have never even been with one?" John argued, his face red with anger. Dean's eyes flickered from his dad to his mom, to the window and down to his feet.
"Well, actually... I have a boyfriend." Dean said so quietly that he wasn't even sure if they could hear it, but judging by the way Mary gasped and the table crunched as John gripped it even tighter they had heard it well enough.
"WHAT?" John yelled louder than before. "You have a... Who is it?" John growled. Dean's head snapped up. John was mad angry and now he wanted to know who Dean was dating. No way he would tell him now, John could do anything to Cas if he found out.
John looked like he was thinking really hard until his eyes suddenly grew bigger like he had just realized something. "It's the new kid, Castiel, isn't it?" The way Dean flinched in horror to the mention of Castiel's name gave it away. John banged his fist on the table. "I knew it!! The first thing I heard about them after they moved into town was that they have a freaky gay son and his parents are accepting of that? I knew he would be trouble for someone but I never imagined it to be my son he would lure into that disgusting..." John didn't finish his sentence, just gestured wildly with his arms and groaned loudly.
"Dad, Cas didn't 'lure' me into anything. He didn't do any dark gay magic to make me fall in love with him, it's just... happened." Dean stood up to his boyfriend. Mary turned to look at him with wide eyes.
"You are...? You are in love with him?" She asked with slightly horrified tone. Dean sighed, looking down to his mother.
"Yes mom, I love him and he loves me. We have been together for a year now." Dean said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.
"No! I won't allow this! I won't allow my son dating a guy and doing god knows what with him. You end this poisonous relationship with him right now, or I'm sending you away to your cousins in Florida!" John yelled his threat. Dean's eyes widened in shock.
"No, dad don't! I'm almost done with school, you can't send me away now. Could you just give me and Cas a chance? Just meet him, let's have a family dinner. I'll invite him over and you can get to know him, we can--" Dean was speaking fast until John interrupted him.
"That freak is not coming into my house! I don't know what he did to get you under his spell but he is not fooling me. You end that... that thing you have with him and we can act like this never happened. We'll find you a nice girl to marry like normal people do! End this unnatural thing you have with him right now or I swear to god I will send you so far away from here that you won't be able to see him ever again anyway!" John pointed a finger at Dean, his face red with anger. "And don't even think about trying to hide your relationship with him, I will find out if you do. I have eyes everywhere and now that I know what to look for you can't hide it from me, I will find out." John said and stepped away from behind the table, walking so close to Dean that he had to lean back to the counter behind him. "Do you understand me, son?" John asked and all Dean could do was nod. "Good," John said with an ice cold voice before he stomped out of the room.
Dean took a couple deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm down before turning to look at his mother who was still sitting on her seat at the table, staring right in front of her.
"Mom? Please tell me you don't agree with him." Dean walked to the table, taking the seat opposite from Mary. She looked at him with an apologetic look on her face and Dean knew she was going to let him down. His chest felt tight and he had to fight the tears from falling down with all he had when his mother started to talk.
"I'm sorry Dean... He is being harsh but he is right. This thing isn't good for you, you are better off without that boy." She said with a calm voice, trying to take Dean's hand but he pulled them away.
"You have noticed that I've been happier lately, I know you have. You have mentioned it to me before. I'm happier now because I have Cas. Mom, don't make me do what dad tells me to do, don't make me lose the one person who has ever made me happy." Dean lost the fight against his tears as they started to roll down his cheeks. And he lost the fight with his parents when Mary looked down and shook her head.
"You'll find someone else, some girl who will make you even happier than he ever could. You know your dad was serious, right? About sending you away. If you just break up with him we can put this all behind us. It will be okay honey, I promise." Mary said and leaned closer, trying to touch Dean's face but Dean leaned back quickly, away from his mother. He looked out of the window, not able to get a word out of his mouth. Mary sighed, leaning back in her seat. "You said you like both girls and boys. So you can choose to only date girls, no one needs to know about the other half." Dean wiped a tear from his cheek, his heart crushing into pieces inside his chest from the words coming out of his mother's mouth.
Finally, Dean stood up. He stopped at the doorway, turning to look at his mother. "You are only agreeing with him because you're afraid of what he might do if you didn't." Dean accused. The way she flinched and looked at him with wide, horrified eyes for only a second before quickly turning away confirmed Dean's words loud and clear.
He shook his head as he left the room, walking up the stairs to his room. He pressed the door closed behind him, leaning back on it and sliding down until he was sitting on the floor with his face pressed to his knees. He couldn't hold the tears back.
He cried quietly for a long time, his parents' words repeating over and over in his head. He should have listened to Cas and keep his mouth shut until they were far away from his parents. How could he have ever imagined that they would accept him the way he was? Dean chuckled bitterly, hitting his head back against the door as more tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted to get up, go back in there and yell at his parents until they would come to their senses but he knew it wouldn't work. It would only lead to even more physical pain that Dean didn't need, his head was already hurting from crying. He didn't need bruises to show how badly this had gone.
When he was finally able to get up from the floor it was already dark outside. In the darkness of his room he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing Castiel's number. With shaky hands he pressed the phone to his ear and waited.
"Hey baby, what's up?" Cas's voice came through the phone. He sounded so happy that Dean almost broke down crying again. He didn't want to do this, he would give anything not to have to do this but his father had left him no other option.
"Hey, uh... Can you meet me at the playground close to your house?" Dean asked, hating the way his voice was shaking. Cas was quiet for a moment and Dean tried his best to breath normally.
"Dean, is something wrong?" Cas's voice had gone from happy to worried.
"Just... Just be there in like ten minutes and I'll tell you everything, okay?" Dean asked. He inhaled sharply as he felt another wave of tears forming behind his eyes.
"Okay, okay. I'll be there. Just, calm down, everything is going to be okay. I'll be there, I promise." Cas said. After they hung up the phone Dean took several shaky breaths before quietly exiting the room. He couldn't see anyone in the house. His parents worked early days so they were probably already asleep and it was school day tomorrow so Sam was probably finishing his homework in his room or already asleep too.
Dean took the keys to the Impala and pulled the front door closed as quietly as he could before driving away.
When he got to the parking lot of the playground he could already see Castiel sitting on one of the benches, looking towards Dean's car. As he got out of the Impala and walked closer Cas got up, taking a couple of steps towards him until they were standing in front of each other.
Even in the dim lights of the playground, Castiel could see Dean's red eyes and it was obvious to him that he had been crying a lot just moments ago.
"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked as he took Dean's hand, pulling him to sit down on the bench. Cas sat down next to him, still holding his hand.
"You were right Cas, I should have just listened to you." Dean shook his head and looked down, a new set of tears blurring his vision.
"About what?"
"I told them," Dean whispered, looking up at him as the tears started to fall again. "I told them about us and that I'm bi and they..." Dean couldn't finish his sentence as he broke down crying. Cas pulled him against his chest, letting him bury his face into Castiel's shirt. Dean could feel how stiff Castiel's whole body was as he waited for Dean to continue.
"What did they do Dean?" Cas sounded worried and scared. Dean slowly lifted his head up to look Castiel in the eyes.
"They gave me two options. Either I break up with you or they send me to some relatives to the other side of the country. So, either way, I'll have to leave you," Dean said quietly. The way he could see the shock and hurt on Castiel's face completely broke what was left of his heart.
"No... Dean no, you can't do as they say! No! We've been together for a year and they didn't know anything, we can just keep doing this just like we have and they never need to know. Just tell them that we broke up but please, Dean, don't leave me." Cas's voice was shaking at the end of his sentence. Dean slowly shook his head.
"It wouldn't work. My dad knows everyone here and he now knows who you are, his friends would tell him immediately if they saw us even in the same room together. It wouldn't work, not anymore. I'm so sorry I told them, Cas, I'm so sorry I did this." Dean said, gently pressing his hand on Castiel's cheek.
"Dean please, can't you just talk to them again? Or what if I come to talk to them, if they just met me--" Cas was interrupted.
"No, absolutely not! The look in my dad's eyes when he figured out who I was dating was just... I was so scared that he would run out of the house and come hurt you. It would just make things even worse. Cas, I'm sorry, I don't have any other option. I know my dad, he will do all he can to make our lives a living hell if we don't end this now." Dean said, and now Castiel was crying too, tears falling down his cheeks as he shook in Dean's hold.
"Don't leave me, Dean, you are everything to me. Please, Dean... I love you." Castiel sobbed. He took a hold of Dean's hand that was still pressed against his cheek. He turned his head to kiss Dean's palm, looking back up to him with pleading eyes.
"I love you too Cas. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I'm so sorry I have to do this." He leaned in closer to press their lips together. Neither of them moved, they just sat there for a few seconds with their lips pressed together until Dean pulled away. "I have to go before they notice I'm gone. I'm sorry Cas."
"Dean..." Cas plead when he got up but Dean just quickly ran his hand through Castiel's hair.
"I'm so sorry. I..." he couldn't say it anymore so he just slowly turned away, walking back to his car. Cas called his name two more times but didn't try to follow and Dean didn't turn around.
When Dean got to his car he looked back to Cas and saw him leaning his elbows on his knees, his face pressed to his hands. From all the way from his car Dean was able to see the way Castiel's shoulders shook as he cried. The view broke his heart, he wanted nothing more than to run back to him, tell him that everything was okay, drive somewhere far away with him and never let him go.
But he couldn't do that and he knew it, so instead he started the engine, pulled the car off the parking lot and headed home, not looking back.