Chapter Text
I keeled over and rested my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath. With my jagged breaths being the only I could hear I barely heard that soft yet distant voice asking me something.
"Are you alright ma'am? You look like you've just run a marathon."
He's still as sweet as I remembered.. his hair fell just past his shoulders now and his eyes looked even more tortured than they did all those years ago. Rowan always looked like he was one second away from crying. His delicate features have grown more rugged since I last saw him.
“Oh y-yes I’m fine you just forgot your change is all!” I could barely choke out that lie between my gasps for air. I mean I couldn’t tell him I’ve been searching for him since we said goodbye. That would be insane! Plus I doubt he would even remember me. I was pulled out of my thoughts when he stepped in front of me and lowered his head to be level with mine. He had a puzzled look on his face yet there was something else there I couldn’t quite place… He slowly stood back up and cleared his throat. I followed suit trying to ignore the migraine that was coming on from sprinting after him.
“Uhm.. alright then. Thank you. Excellent customer service as well, it’s not every day that a barista chases after me and gives me.. what? $5 in change? Working hard for that tip huh?” I could tell he was being sarcastic and snarky but I couldn’t help but smile at him. He hadn’t changed one bit.
“Ah yeah haha! Couldn’t let you walk out without your gas money! Though I’m not sure if this would even get you a fourth of gas with these prices. Maybe some M&M’s haha!”
He laughed. That same beautifully silly laugh made my heart swell with joy. Yeah. This is my Rowan alright.
“How thoughtful of you then! For a second I thought you were going to pull out a tablet with tip percentages on it! By the way, have we met before? I can't remember the last time I laughed at a stupid joke like that.” my breath hitched in my throat as he said this. Why did I feel so anxious? Shouldn't I be happy that he sorta recognized me? I push all this to the back of my mind and smile while shrugging my shoulders.
“I dunno, have we? Maybe we've met in a dream somewhere far away. Who knows”
He exhaled from his nose before starting. “I see how it is. You're an English major I bet. Well, good luck with that Neil Perry.”
He gave me a half smile before walking away in whichever direction the wind took him I presumed. How could one so fragile be so sharp?
I shook my head and smiled. Rowan was a sharp one who could cut you with his quick wits and severe comebacks but it was all an act. He was extremely delicate like a sculpture that had been bestowed a soul and wandered this earth. One gust of wind would blow away his hard exterior and leave behind a soft dainty heart. I can't believe after all these years he still tries to act so tough. I can't help but giggle as I walk back into the cafe to resume my shift.
Rowan
Heat courses through my body as I toss and turned in bed. I could feel my body tensing up and mouth go dry. I shoot up in bed a take quick ragged breaths. I don't dream yet there's a picture in my mind so vividly I feel as if I'm watching a movie. The sticky sensation of the sweat clinging to my body makes my stomach lurch and I get up to take a shower.
I take off my clothes and examine myself in the mirror. It looks as if I haven't slept in days, unfortunately, I don't think you can call the thing I do when I close my eyes and lay down sleep so I guess that judgment is correct.
I step into the shower and just stand there for a bit, not wanting to let this peaceful feeling pass. I close my eyes and lean my head under the water. “I need a haircut..” I mumble before bathing and getting out.
*chime* Message notification from: Dirty Dan
-Dude I know you've been low ebb lately but I know something that might cheer you up and put a smile on that pretty face ;))). Meet me at that one flower shop down the street from that old cafe in 20.
“Idiot”. I thought. He doesn't have to try and cheer me up… I already know this is going to be an awful idea. Coffee does sound good though. I should probably go get some in case he has me do something strenuous.
I threw on some random hoodie and jeans and left for the cafe and meeting spot. Upon arrival, I spot a familiar face through the window and intrigue sparks a flame in my mind. I pull open the door and immediately a rush of memories bombarded my mind. Its her. Its you. Here… in a cafe of all places.
I make my way to the line and wait my turn as I ponder on what I might say to her. How I've missed her every single waking moment of my life. I wanted to whisk her away and hold her so tight people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two of us. I snap out of my thoughts when I'm greeted with a full view of her smile. I was next in line.
“Iced Americano, please. With two pumps of vanilla.” IDIOT! Why didn't I say anything?! Great going she will definitely recognize you now.
“Will that be all for you sir?” Her sweet voice almost made my brain stall. How is it that she seems even lovelier than she was before? Not wanting to show my heated face I nod and sit down at a nearby table and wait for my drink. I know she's older now but her face hasn't changed at all, she still had such soft features that looked like they were carved out of clouds.
Just as I was studying her face she called out my drink and waited for me to grab it. I stood up almost too quickly and walked over to the counter.
“Iced Americano two pumps of vanilla! That will be $4.15 please!” That voice. I handed her a $10 bill. Not because I'm nice, no, but because if this woman was her she would not let me leave without giving me my change. Before she could open the register I swiftly took my drink and left the cafe. It was a long shot I know but if there is even the smallest chance that this was indeed who I thought it was I needed to know.
Just as I was about to cross the street I hear heavy footsteps behind me come to a stop and someone heaving loudly behind me.
I turn around to see her hunched over with her hands on her knees. She was still as dumb and nice as I thought.
“Are you alright ma'am? You look like you've just run a marathon.” She was never good at running, always needing breaks in between our running contests.
“Oh y-yes I’m fine you just forgot your change is all!” She could barely even speak with all that heavy breathing, but it was her all right. I had to see what facial expression she was making so I stepped closer to her and bent down so my head could be leveled with hers. She looks tired and… hurt almost. Did I go too far with making her run? I feel bad now. It's my first time seeing her again and I'm already causing her to be inconvenienced.
I stand back up and clear my throat to try and ignore these thoughts. She does the same and she's still wearing that silly smile she always sported. I force myself to not smile and tease her a bit.
“Uhm.. alright then. Thank you. Excellent customer service as well it’s not every day that a barista chases after me and gives me.. what? $5 in change? Working hard for that tip huh?” Now I know this may seem rude but she knows how to handle my sarcasm.
Her smile gets even brighter if that's possible and she looks like she could be classified as a second sun. “Ah yeah haha! Couldn’t let you walk out without your gas money! Though I’m not sure if this would even get you a fourth of gas with these prices. Maybe some M&M’s haha!” I couldn't hold back my laughter. Not only did I find her once again but it's like nothing has changed. Out of nowhere I got this rush of boldness and asked her the one thing I was sure she wouldn't answer.
“How thoughtful of you then! For a second I thought you were going to pull out a tablet with tip percentages on it! By the way, have we met before? I can't remember the last time I laughed at a stupid joke like that.” I know I know, she won't remember me I mean I don't exactly look like a frail little boy anymore but I don't care, I want to hear her voice more even if its confirming my worst fear.
“I dunno, have we? Maybe we've met in a dream somewhere far away. Who knows” These words proved all of my suspicions as soon as they left her mouth. She was still so dreamy and her tone was as wistful as ever. I remembered how she always wanted to be an English teacher teaching all the kids classic poetry and whatnot. I hope she's still pursuing that dream. I exhale and stop myself from smiling like an idiot. “I see how it is. You're an English major I bet. Well, good luck with that Neil Perry.” I give her a small smile before going to meet Dan. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of her as I went down the street. I guess coffee will be my favorite drink from now on.
My ears rang as my head ricocheted off the concrete beneath me. The tears swelling in my eyes threatened to fall on my reddened cheeks. Why were these kids so cruel? Was my existence worth nothing to them? Should I give up…
“Leave him alone you brats! What did he ever do to you!? Don't make me beat you guys up!” Just then a tiny girl stepped in front of me holding a brick in her hand threatening the boys who were bullying me.
“You always ruin our fun y/n! Stop protecting this runt!” I flinched at those words. I was smaller and more fragile than the other kids. I had to be treated with special care often so they teased me because of it.
“Dont make me hurt you guys! Leave him alone or else!” Even though she was saying such harsh things her voice was so gentle and soothing. I looked up at her back with my tear-stricken eyes and for once I finally felt safe.
The boys sighed and started to walk away. I was sure they would beat me up again tomorrow. She dropped the brick and turned around to kneel by my side. Her expression was so tender and soft, its almost like the sun was in her eyes.
“You look hurt! Are you okay?! Just ignore those boys they are big and dumb! Oh yeah I followed you guys here because you forgot your inhaler! I'm y/n whats your name?” I barely got a chance to register what she was saying or asking because of her quick speaking pace.
She was looking at me with a dumb smile plastered on her face waiting for me to respond.
“Rowan… my name is Rowan.”