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To Jimin, Jungkook is his rock, beacon of hope in midst of his chaotic life.
It’s never been easy to be Jimin, and it’s never been easy to be Jungkook either. And despite all of it, they choose to stay, together, beside each other. Or so Jungkook thought.
“Jimin,” Jungkook called the other, getting Jimin’s attention—whose spacing out, looking out on their apartment’s balcony.
Jungkook sighed. Money is always been tight. They been living paycheck after paycheck, barely even a savings, do we even call it savings at this point? Yeah, it feels like a petty change for whatever’s left from their paycheck.
And Jimin, is tired of it all. It just feels so unfair. No matter how he tries he seem to just, not grow. In every aspect. Career, life, relationships, family.
Just like in clockwork, whenever everything feels overwhelming. He shuts everything out. And finally saying, “let’s break up, Jungkook,”
Jungkook closed his eyes, tight and sighed heavily. Chest becoming heavy, any second, it becomes harder to breathe.
“Jimin, baby, everything will be fine,” Jungkook reasoned out, hoping Jimin will see the shed of light he’s trying to send on Jimin’s way. But Jimin is into deep of the dark. Finally snapping, jar is too filled of self-doubt, self-pity, self-blame. On top of it all, he just feels he’s pulling Jungkook down with him.
He snapped his attention to Jungkook. Tear rolling down his cheeks as he shouted, “What fine?! What will be fine?! Look at you!”
Jungkook tried to step closer to Jimin, trying to calm him down, to give comfort. But his lover is too hurt, just like a cactus, full of thorns, Jimin stepped back, afraid to hurt Jungkook further.
“Baby, I can find more job. I promise you, I didn’t say that in instant it will be alright, but someday it will, you just have to trust me,” voice full of sadness, sadness to their situation because he can’t ease Jimin’s worries. Jungkook is hurt to the situation they’re living in. They both don’t deserve this.
Mouth quivering, Jimin trying his best to not sob loudly, “It’s me who I don’t trust, Jungkook. The problem is me,” he swiped his tears angrily, let out a small laugh, like he can’t believe this. This is not the first time he’d done this. And it will definitely be not the last.
It feels suffocating, as if the sand if trying to drown him more the more tries to climb up to reach for air. And as he finally been able to catch a breath, the sand further drown him even more the first time.
It is exhausting, he is exhausted.
This cycle is never ending.
He felt like that this relationship with Jungkook has more down than up. He can no longer pull Jungkook down together with him. If they will drown—he choose to be drowned alone. Jungkook deserve so much better.
Jungkook, sensing a foreboding, stepped closer to Jimin with full bravery this time. He reached Jimin’s arm and embraced the other with a tight hug.
“No, no, no, no, you can’t, no,” Jungkook whispers to Jimin, hoping that way Jimin can hear his pleas. Pouring out his feelings, he can’t lose Jimin.
Jimin can no longer hold it it. He begins to sob, clenching on Jungkook’s shirt. Jungkook whispering sweet pleas to Jimin while he, himself is crying as well. He cries silently, scared that if Jimin hears his tears, it might make the other push him further.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you, please, I can’t, I-I can’t,” Jungkook again pleaded but Jimin can only reply with tears, sobbing with full of despair.
He stayed there, hugging, Jimin slowly calming down but still crying and clinging to Jungkook and Jungkook whispering sweet words, pleading Jimin to not leave him.
Another minute had passed, Jimin’s body has finally caught up with the heavy feeling’s he’d poured out—passed out on Jungkook’s arms.
Jungkook softly lifted Jimin and laid him down their bed. Jungkook’s heart clenching at sight—he wipes Jimin’s tears tenderly kissed each eyelids. Whispering, “I love you, always,”
He just watches Jimin as Jimin’s chest moves with it’s steady breathing. He tucked Jimin’s hair on the back Jimin’s ear. He laid down beside Jimin, pulling Jimin slowly to his body and hugging the other into a tight hug, kissing Jimin’s forehead as he close his eyes.
He’ll always choose Jimin. Jungkook feels hurt because when this episode happens it seems to Jungkook that Jimin thinks he’s forcing Jungkook to suffer with him. That it’s up to Jimin to decide whether Jungkook is no longer part of the other’s life.
Jungkook never felt forced to stay, not even a pity that he’s only staying because he feels bad of Jimin’s situation. But in reality, he’s with Jimin because he choses to, and Jimin will always be his choice.
This too shall pass. It won’t be a dark tunnel every single day, if he needs to work hard to provide a good life for both of them, then he will. He knows everything will work out fine, it’s just that in their situation, it’s taking its time but it will eventually happen.
And when they finally passed the dark tunnel, he will work much harder to keep it that way.
He chose to stay,
He chooses Jimin,
And that will always be his choice no matter what.