Chapter Text
Professor Minerva McGonagall rubbed her forehead, trying to find the will to leave her office. She had so many things to do today, and most of them would be pushed to the side just because of testing. For the past week, Umbridge had been calling meeting after meeting about the pass rate that she was expecting to get. It went higher every year. This year, she expected an 85% pass rate, which meant that thirty-four of the forty fifth-years would have to pass with an ‘acceptable’ or higher. Of those thirty-four, Umbridge expected that 20% or six students would get an ‘outstanding.’
“Minerva,” called Severus Snape, “did you receive your testing tickets yet?”
She squinted her eyes and rolled her neck. She sighed as she got up from her chair, grabbing the testing booklet that had been given to her in the last staff meeting. “No, I’m on my way to do that now.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
Together they made their way to Umbridge’s office. They talked about how worried they were that some of the students wouldn’t even bother reading what was put in front of them. They talked about how ridiculous an 85% pass rate was. Both felt that it was far too high. They then started to say how many students could possibly get an ‘outstanding’ on any of their examinations.
“Granger.” Minerva said.
“Malfoy.” Severus said.
“Longbottom.”
Severus scoffed. “Not in potions, but maybe in herbology. Parkinson.”
Minerva gave him a look. “Not in transfiguration. Potter.”
“Do you think Weasley will?”
“Not an ‘outstanding,’ but definitely an ‘exceeds expectations.’”
“Agreed.”
They continued naming students until they reached the entrance for Umbridge’s office. They continued on in silence as they went up the stairs.
Umbridge already had a line. It didn’t surprise them; Dumbledore also always had one. He loved cracking jokes and making those in line laugh. Neither Minerva nor Severus ever engaged him though. It was stressful enough knowing that they would have to give forty students a test that would determine the rest of their school years. They weren’t sure if they preferred Umbridge’s hostility over Dumbledore’s joke though.
“Minerva, are you ready for a long day?” Umbridge asked.
“Of course,” she replied, reaching out her hand to count the test tickets.
“You should have forty tickets.” Umbridge handed her an envelope and she took out the test ticket papers to count.
One…two…three…Merlin, she was bored already…four…five…six…She should have put on lotion before she came to count…ten...eleven…twelve…These weren’t even in alphabetical order…thirty…thirty-one…thirty-two…She abhorred testing; it was the worst part of being a teacher…thirty-eight…thirty-nine…forty.
“Forty.” She said simply.
“Excellent! Initial here please.” Umbridge said, pulling out the official parchment of the Wizarding Examination Authority. Bertram Quelm, the head of the Ministry’s Department of Education, had signed his name with a flourish. She wanted to curse the fool. Instead, she initialed ‘MM’ and waited for Umbridge to finish shoving the testing tickets back into the envelope.
“Severus, you will be giving the—”
“Giving the sixth years that failed their transfiguration OWL their redo.” Snape finished for the headmaster.
“Right.” Umbridge fumbled around on her desk for the envelope that Severus was supposed to get. “You have three test tickets.”
The potions master didn’t even bother to take the tickets out. He merely opened the envelope wide enough that he was able to see the tickets and acknowledged that there were three. Umbridge had him initial something as well.
“Minerva, you will be using the Great Hall for testing. The students have been warned before hand that breakfast will be stopped early so the desks can be set up. The fifth years will be ready to test by 9:15. Severus, you will be testing in the empty room on the second floor.”
“Who will be my proctor?” Minerva asked.
Umbridge shuffled through her papers, looking awfully pleased with herself. “I will be. Severus, you will have Sybill.”
Minerva would gladly take Umbridge over Sybill. Sybill always had to talk with the students first about how she had seen the future and ‘knew’ that they were all going to pass. At least Umbridge would be quiet. Minerva had to wonder if the woman would even bother walking around the Great Hall though. Knowing her, she would just stay up at the front.
“As a reminder, there should be no testing irregularities. Quelm was particularly interested with all of the irregularities the school had.” Umbridge held up a hand as Minerva and Severus tried protesting. “I am not interested in excuses. We are not going to have any irregularities this year.”
“We will try our best.” Minerva said through clenched teeth.
Together they walked from the office to their testing sites.
“Good luck, Severus.” Minerva breathed out.
“You as well, Minerva.”
Minerva ate breakfast quickly in the Great Hall, still holding tightly to the testing tickets—they couldn’t leave her side after all. After she ate, she gazed around the Great Hall. Everyone was still eating and being loud. Some fifth years were studying. At least she didn’t have anything in here that she would have to cover or take down. She wasn’t sure if Severus had anything in his room. She was just glad that Dumbledore had changed the testing schedule, years ago. When they had to test in their own rooms it had been such a pain. There were even more rules than now, and they still had to make sure that nearly forty students could fit and with enough room between them that they couldn’t cheat off of another student’s paper.
The only problem now was that lunch would be a picnic if not enough students had finished their exam by then.
At 8:45, Minerva stood up. “Attention students, breakfast is over. Please continue to your classes or study periods.”
One by one the students got up. Some fifth years lingered towards the back trying to be out of the way as much as possible. Minerva ignored them. She turned her attention to transfiguring the tables and benches into desks and chairs. There weren’t enough for forty students to sit in, obviously, but thankfully, the storage closets attached to the large room did have enough, with one extra to spare for her to use as her teacher’s table.
She just had to clean them off first. The amount of dust that was on them should not have been possible. She thanked Merlin for magic as she cast a spell to cleanse the entire room.
By now it was 9:00 and the fifth-years had started to pour into the room. She made them wait at the back of the room. Dumbledore always had the examiner give a small speech about the importance of the exam they were about to take and how the results would help them navigate the rest of their schooling. And she knew from experience that the second they sat down, they would be ready to take the test, so it was always better when they were standing determining which seat they would take.
Umbridge walked in the door exactly at 9:15, so Minerva began her speech.
“Hello, fifth-years.” She waited, until they were all looking at her. “Welcome to your first O.W.L exam. You will be taking the charms exam this morning. You have been preparing for this test the entire year, and while it does have an impact on the rest of your years at Hogwarts, it does not mean that your future aspirations will be negated. You will just have to work a bit harder to achieve them.”
Umbridge laughed; that weird, high pitch that annoyed Minerva to no end.
“I have full faith that you will be able to do well on this test. Professor Flitwick ensured that you know everything you need to know. Please take your seats as you see fit.”
She moved out of the way so that everyone could move. Once she saw that most of them were seated, she moved to the front and grabbed the testing booklet. Umbridge kept trying to get her attention, pointing to her wrist each time. Apparently, it was after 9:15—not that Minerva cared at all.
When she turned around, she was pleased to notice that everyone was seated. She opened the testing booklet to the first page. It was so much wordier this year than previous years. She didn’t quite understand why.
“Today, you will be taking the Charms Ordinary Wizarding Level Examination. Please check your work area. You should only have materials that are allowed for this test.” She paused. “I am going to give each of you your student testing ticket, anti-cheating quill, testing booklet, and scratch paper. Do not do anything else until I tell you to do so.”
Minerva waved her wand sending the supplies to the appropriate students. She waited until the very last student received her supplies before continuing with the instructions.
“Look at the student testing ticket you received. Raise your hand if your name is not on the test ticket. After you have made sure the ticket is yours, sign the ticket.” Quills started scratching on papers.
Once it had stopped, Minerva continued her instructions. “Listen carefully as I read the directions for taking the test. Your booklet should say Charms Ordinary Wizarding Level Examination. If it does not, please raise your hand.”
Of course, no one raised their hand, she thought, her magic was nearly infallible.
“Open the booklet to page one.” Booklets started to open; she winced as she heard a few rip. “Read question one to yourself…” pause… “Now read the first question and each answer choice to yourself.”
These students know how to take a test. If they had to be reminded to read the questions and answers before proceeding, they probably shouldn’t be at Hogwarts.
“Choose the best answer.” Pause. “Which answer did you choose?”
Only Hermione Granger’s hand went up. Minerva sent a prayer to Merlin thanking the girl. “Ms. Granger?”
“D, incendio.”
“The best answer,” Minerva confirmed, “is “D.” In this test you must answer each question with a fully colored in bubble. If your answer is not fully colored in, the question will be marked as wrong.” This was laughable. A single drop of the ink from the quill easily colored in the bubble.
She continued reading, “turn the page. You will see a hand sign on the bottom of the page. This test consists of two sections: a multiple choice and a written portion. Complete each section until you see the next hand sign.” Again, laughable. This was only one test. They were going to finish the booklet. What was the point of the hand sign?
“Remember, you must do your own work. At no time may you discuss, or share by any means, the questions on the test with anyone. Raise your hand if you have a problem during the test. You may begin working.”
She waited until she heard the scratch of quills against the paper before she set down her testing booklet. She’d sell her soul for a cup of tea. She hated being an examiner. The Ministry’s Department of Education was very particular about everything in the testing environment. And knowing Umbridge, she would be a stickler for the rules.
She cast a quick silencing spell on her shoes, ensuring they wouldn’t make a sound as she started to wander between the rows and columns of desks. She always enjoyed seeing what kinds of questions the Ministry felt were important for the OWLs. She wasn’t allowed to look at the transfiguration OWL, just as Severus wasn’t allowed to look at the potions one. No teacher was allowed to be examiner or proctor for their class’s OWL.
She weaved in and out of the desks, trying to make herself seem as busy as possible.
It was a full hour before she had gotten tired of trying to read the exam questions.
Now she was more interested in the students.
She walked to the front of the room. It would give her the best view of all the students, so she could match them up. If Severus were her proctor, he would have joined her. She didn’t feel comfortable allowing Umbridge in on her fun.
Granger and…Potter or Weasley would make the most sense but that wasn’t the way the game was played, so Granger and…Malfoy. Minerva’s eyes flicked between them a few times. It could work—a lot would have to change though.
Potter and Parkinson. She nearly let out a giggle. They would drive each other crazy.
Weasley and Daphne Greengrass. Minerva covered her mouth with her hand so no one could see her smile. She would pay to see that arrangement. She would even—
CRASH!
That sound whipped her out of her enjoyment. Her eyes went to Umbridge immediately. Umbridge shook her head, walking to the large doors of the Great Hall. Most, if not all, of the students’ eyes followed her movements.
There was irregularity number one. “Please continue taking your exam.” She couldn’t follow Umbridge to the doors.
BOOM!
She heard the students start to chatter and make noise. Irregularity number two.
“Quiet!” She called out, her eyes never leaving Umbridge.
The doors to the Great Hall opened. Umbridge stood between them for a few moments, trying to see whatever was making the loud noises. Minerva could only stand in horror as the Weasley Twins came flying into the room on their brooms. They were setting off their Whiz-bangs and other firework-like materials. All of the test papers were thrown on the ground. Some of the students were burned, others were perfectly fine.
Then, she could only stare as a giant firework dragon chased Umbridge back out of the testing room. It chomped its jaws, nearly lighting the toad woman on fire.
As the students all ran from the room to watch the twins fly away, Minerva could only sit down at the closest desk and gaze at the destruction. The desks could be repaired. The room could be cleaned. She really didn’t want to go through the irregularity meeting.
She rested her head in her hand and stared off into space. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she stood up, dusted herself off and made her way to her quarters.
There was a large bottle of firewhiskey waiting for her. She was going to need it. Badly.