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English
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Published:
2025-05-06
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452
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1/1
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Sunday Mpreg 💔🥀

Summary:

Au day gives birth to a fucking egg.

Notes:

THIS IS SATIRE FOR MY FRIEND 💔💔💔

Work Text:

Sunday was oh so super duper heavily pregnant but fortunately for him, you didn't run off to get the milk like an ass.

"This kinda fucking sucks.." he sighs, laying on the couch while rubbing his swollen stomach. You sit by him, "Sooo.. are you gonna lay an egg or-" "No I'm not gonna lay a fucking egg!" you turn away, "Jeez, moody..".

You suddenly hear a gasp, the cushion your palm was under starting to feel cold and damp. You slowly turn to him in slight shock, he looks up at you in horror. You point to him, "Did-.. Are you-" "YES. MY WATER BROKE. YES. I AM GIVING FUCKING BIRTH." you panic and stand up.

"Uh- d-do I take you to a hospital or something?" "NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK." "Sorry! I'm going, I'm going!" You wheel the in-labor pigeon to the car and break at least 10 laws trying to get to some sort of hospital, praying he didn't pop a squat and just give birth right then and there.

Once inside, you try to hand him to the nurses but he grabs you by the wrist and glares at you, "Don't. you. dare. go sit in that waiting room and leave me alone to give birth to our FUCKING BABY." You sigh, the nurses giving you a look of empathy.

You awkwardly walk into a room and pull up a chair next to him, holding his hand and trying to pretend like it didn't hurt when he squeezed it, trying to calm himself during the contractions.

"Okay.. Push." Was all the doctor said before you felt the worst pain of your life. The grip he had on you as he pushed was ungodly.

"What the-" the doctor said, moments before tragedy as a loud and wet pop resonated throughout the room. Sunday froze in shock, no longer gripping your hand tightly but just staring at you in shock. You pull away and look over at the doctor, laying on the ground with a horrified expression as he held a baby-sized egg.

"What the fuck." a nurse on stand by said. You laugh and turn to him, "I knew it." Sunday stares at you with confusion only to sit up and see his fucking egg. His wings droop in realization that he was in fact wrong.

"Are you fucking joking." the egg starts to crack a bit, "What was the point of the egg.. if it was gonna hatch IMMEDIATELY?!" Sunday's anger was very evident if t wasn't already.

"Y'know what.. Imma just go get the milk." you get up and start to walk away.

"WHAT?!" Sunday flips out, you laugh and walk back, "Just kidding!" "Fuck you." Sunday glares.