Work Text:
Yearn.
The only feeling he knew, as far as he could remember, Naruto always yearned for something…
Love.
As a kid that had nobody, as a teen losing his only love to hatred and vengeance, all those nights praying and begging the moon to bring him back, to not let him die, to not separate them. All he ever wanted is to have Sasuke, everyone had a little piece of Sasuke, but Naruto only had the crumbs, there was never a piece just for him only.
As an adult, always asking the moon if they would’ve been inseparable in another world. Asking the moon if all those kisses he gave Sasuke in his dreams will ever be felt on his lips. The warmth of Sasuke’s skin against his lips, the broken space between them, his breath afterwards…
He would give up on everything, he’d give everything to just share the same space, to just feel him close.
Will we ever be happy…?
Tears running down Naruto's face, leaving a wet trail on his cheeks. Just thinking of being his makes his throat close; he feels dizzy, questioning his life, all his choices…
32 years of his life… All making the wrong choices.
“I should’ve left with him…” He thought to himself.
Would we be together now if he once told him that we could’ve been happy together?
Could Sasuke be happy just being with him?
If only Naruto spoke earlier.
—Is there really that much distance between us, Teme?—. He spoke to himself while looking at the moon. After all, they were the moon and the sun, no matter how much they wanted to get close, they couldn't, there’s too much space, too much difference. Naruto couldn’t stop crying, did he really mess this up this badly? If only he told sasuke how he felt when they were teens…
But even if he did, Could Sasuke have reciprocated this immense sentiment that burdens him every night he spends alone in that office?
“Is it too late…?” “Did I lose my chance…?” “Is there any way to make this right?” “Can I risk it all for Him?” Those racing thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. But he can’t go back in time, so he yearns, he wishfully tells to the moon that one day, the night will be theirs and the day wouldn’t separate them.
Wishful thinking, that's all it was. Because Sasuke is away and Naruto is hokage, Sasuke rarely visits him so he spends all his nights in the Uchiha ruins, waiting for him to come back home. Is Naruto selfish for wanting Sasuke all for himself?
But one night, Sasuke came back, he didn't see Naruto in his office, so he looked for him in a place he really desires him to be in, he walked and walked; he seemed a little desperate to get to his destination. People were greeting him as he passed by but he wasn't really paying attention, he just wanted to get back home.
Home. What’s really home for him? Is it the ruins or just Naruto's presence that makes any place home for him?
Sasuke was so immersed in his thoughts that by the time his mind got back to earth he had already arrived at the Uchiha ruins. He slowly slid the door to the side and got inside the residence with delicacy, took his shoes off at the entrance and went to where his room was before.
He was there, standing near the window, looking at the moon, the house itself was dusty but somehow the room he was in was clean, things in their place, like Naruto never left this place.
Seeing Naruto so peacefully, he moved closer and Naruto immediately looked back as he heard a sound, finding Sasuke in the room. He couldn’t believe it, he must have a creative mind. “Sasuke isn't really here… he can’t be. He- He’s far away, it can't be him.” He thought to himself.
—Is it… Is it you, Sasuke?— Words came out of his mouth, a shaky voice, he really couldn't believe it. His palms started to sweat, his hands trembling, his throat making a knot, he wanted to cry. He tried so hard not to cry and Sasuke was noticing that.
—Its me, Naruto.— He had a pleading look on his face, a little shame could be seen on his face, he was timid, with a peachy blush peeking through his cheeks, it could only be seen by those who stared too long or too close. He started to walk with a calm pace closely to Naruto and he extended his arm a little like he was hinting something to Naruto, something that became really clear as Sasuke spoke. —Are you not gonna hug me, Usuratonkachi?— A tiny smile came to the corner of his lips. Naruto didn't flinch and as soon as Sasuke said that, he almost launched them both to the bed with the intensity he threw himself into his arms with, Sasuke hugged him with his right arm. Naruto could finally feel his presence close to him, the warmth, the heartbeats slowly increasing the more time they spent hugging and like two magnets that attract each other, like their own force of nature, as soon as they were close, they couldn’t separate. But that usually wasn’t true, no matter how much he tried to stay with him, Sasuke always left, and he had to admit that: There’s nothing that ties Sasuke here, not even him… Or at least that's what Naruto spends his nights thinking.
But this time, Naruto didn't want him to leave, not again, not ever. And if it is necessary he’ll escape this city and leave with him. Naruto pulled back from the hug and looked at Sasuke’s pretty details, his perfect nose, his soft lips, his peachy cheeks, things only he noticed like his pleading eyes, and the way he always tried to not let his emotions show on his face but almost every time he failed. Like right now, he could see that Sasuke felt something he couldn’t quite let himself feel, like something lingered in his eyes hoping that someone noticed.
Those precious catlike eyes that shined even when the sun didn't hit his face. The way his hair was always slightly tousled. Naruto was staring down at Sasuke, Sasuke knew and he still let him do it, just to see what he would find out on his own this time. But deep down Sasuke just wanted him to notice something through his eyes, something he tried to force deep inside him.
Love, fear…
That’s what Sasuke felt every time he was close or far from Naruto, after all these years he started to feel like he was choking with his own breath, like something was weighing him down, something so strong he couldn’t control it. After all these years he figured he’s in love with Naruto, and that was his own doom. That one bad choice to not recognize what he really felt when they were teens. And not having Naruto was his own hell for his own bad choices. So he left, every time, he just wanted to escape that hell, he didnt wanna feel like his whole life was a mistake, that every single decision was a farce that led him to this, he saw every time he came back how tired Naruto was, how he always looked like he was crying all night, his puffy eyes, those purple like bags under his eyes, he suffered, and Sasuke knew that it was all because of him, all because of fear.
The reality is that Sasuke fell in love with Naruto first, way before Naruto even noticed that feeling for him. Sasuke left the village because he thought he had no place anywhere, he lost his whole family, he only had Naruto left. Overthinking caught up to him, he felt out of place, like he wasn't really needed where he wanted to be, that place being next to Naruto. He just left everything behind and hoped that those feelings didn't return, all those years telling himself he got over Naruto.
Obviously that didn't work, because by the time he noticed that Naruto felt the same it was already too late. He couldn’t go back in time, he caused pain to the one he most loved. He made too many mistakes to restart everything, to even try to go back.
After all this time, Naruto noticed that maybe he was staring a bit too much, but he didnt care, he wanted Sasuke to see him, and he also wanted to use all the time he could to make up for all those times he didn't see that pretty face. He moved the strands of hair that covered his left eye, he wanted to appreciate everything that he could, Sasuke got a little shy, they were locking eyes, so he deviated his look somewhere else, they were staring at each other like time stopped. Sasuke's cheeks had a special warmth that Naruto wanted to feel. Naruto took the same hand that was keeping Sasukes hair from covering his left eye and used it to grab his face from the side and caressed his pale but colorful cheeks with his thumb. Sasuke closed his eyes, expressing comfort, safety, like this was the spot he wanted to be in forever, a memory in the making that if he could, he’d frame it forever in a place that only him and Naruto knew.
This was the first time they felt this intimacy. The first time that both Sasuke and Naruto felt something might change, that maybe, it's not too late.
Sasuke was the first to break the silence, he opened his eyes and looked straight into Naruto's starlike eyes that he really loved. He moved his lips like he wanted to say something but couldn’t figure what to say, but finally he said something.
—I love you.— Those words came out of his mouth like a cold breeze on a hot summer night, it struck Naruto like lightning. Did he hear that right? Was that his imagination playing tricks on him?
—I love you.— Sasuke repeated himself. There, again. It wasn't his mind. Naruto’s eyes got a little teary, he tried to hold back, he didn't want Sasuke to see him cry. —I love you, I love you, I love you.— He said over and over again, like he wanted Naruto to react. And Naruto surely did.
Impulsively, his lips were calling Sasuke’s like a magnetic field, one he couldn't help but succumb too, like Sasuke’s mere existence was something that made Naruto be forever attached to. He locked Sasuke’s lips with his, they kissed intensely, like all of those years of their emotions growing more and more, were finally being released. Their lips were glued together, a sloppy desperate kiss, they just couldn’t keep away from each other. Naruto’s tongue was playing with Sasuke’s, but after a few minutes they got to a point where they started to struggle to breathe, they separated and started catching their breaths, feeling each other's warmth each time they exhaled. Sasuke’s lips were glossy, plump and red, his ears were red, all of his details only made Naruto want to mess him up more.
—Don’t leave me, Sasuke. Promise me.— He said looking into sasuke's eyes, and Sasuke could see that he really meant that. —If you leave, I'll leave, I'll never make the same mistake again.— Sasuke in confusion asked: —What mistake have you done Dobe?— He said a little playful, not expecting a serious answer.
—To let you hit rock bottom. I let you leave. I let you destroy yourself and everyone around us, just because I didn't even try to say that I love you. I didn’t try to make you stay, I didn’t try to make you see that you weren’t alone, I focused so much into making everyone like me that I forget I didn't need that.— Sasuke’s eyes widened, his face had a sad expression. Sasuke wanted to say something but before he could, Naruto spoke again. —I didn’t need that because I already had the love I needed the most and it was right in front of me. If I only noticed how much you meant to me before you left. I can’t go back in time, but there's still time, we can still make this right… We can still try.—
Tears.
Sasuke didn't feel them slide rapidly down his cheeks until Naruto wiped them. He broke, he could finally let himself feel. He could finally let himself fall into Naruto’s arms, all of those years bottling things up catched up to him, he couldn't stop crying, he didn’t want to stop crying, because finally, Naruto was there to hold him forever.
—I’m- I’m sorry…— Sasuke was sobbing, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Is this how Naruto felt all these years? —This is- This is my fault, I, I knew how you felt, how you died inside every time I left, how more pieces of you were breaking and getting lost every time I broke your heart by leaving… All because I couldn't express myself. I just… I couldn’t let you leave your dreams for me, after all these years of working hard. I couldn’t let you leave with me, I had no goal in my life after you brought me back, and I couldn’t let you throw everything you’ve built because I egotistically needed all of you.— He couldn’t breathe, Naruto hugged him again, but this time, he held him, he made Sasuke feel like everything was okay, Sasuke never felt this, but somehow his body yearned for a touch it never felt, up until now.
We were too young to hold on to those special moments.
Now, too old to just break free and runaway from the world in front of us.
What choice do we have?
After Sasuke calmed down a bit in Naruto’s arms, he spoke again: —I’ll never leave you again. I promise.— He pulled away from his embrace enough to see his face. He moved his hand and took it to his chin, holding him, only to move close enough to make their lips collide, but this time more calmly, because now they know they have each other forever.
“It's never too late, we still have a chance, Usuratonkachi. I’ll never hurt you again.” He thought while he kissed his soft lips.
The night finally was theirs, and the day was the only thing left to conquer.