Chapter Text
It may sound strange, my story, the life I lived. But it’s all true.
Soren Cantry, Seventeen, going to Mullwood highschool. I was your typical student, I stayed out of trouble, did my work, had very few friends. But I was mostly happy. Mostly.
Anyway, this is my life, or more like “was” my life, not since everything changed.
“Soren!!” A familiar voice called through the halls, my head turned to look at the loud voice. My friend, Canary Williams, loud, bright…. My crush.
“Hey Can,” I smiled as I slowed my steps so she could catch up. Her short hair bounced as her legs struggled to match my pace, she was interesting and always seemed to catch my attention. In small towns it’s usually strange to dress different, but canary didn’t seem to care. She called it “whimsical” and strived to live her life in the most innocent ways imaginable. Some might think she’s immature, but I believed she was a flavorful bite amongst bland dishes. Her jewelry jingled as she spoke.
“Soren! You won’t believe what just happened!” Her voice exclaimed. I knew what the news would be like, and I dreaded it. “Nolan got moved to sit next to me during my Bio class!!” She practically squealed as she latched onto my arm and jumped. I almost fell as she yanked me down.
“Woah! It seems the teacher is rooting for you.” I laughed as I saw her smile. For as long as I knew her she liked Nolan, I didn’t understand why, but a lot of girls did.
Nolan was… strange. Not in a bad way, but he stood out. He was like me, good grades, no drama, few friends… and yet he got attention and I didn’t. Not that I was angry at him for it, it was just… strange. It was like seeing a mirror, or maybe an alternate universe. His looks set him apart, that was obvious. He was a natural light blonde, clear skin, eyes that could practically pierce through your soul… it unsettled me but the girls found it dreamy… especially Canary. That was beside the point.
I continued to walk down the hallway, Canary’s voice becoming more muffled as she spoke about her “bae”.
“He’s so dreamy.” she sighed and I rolled my eyes with a scoff.
“I don’t get what you see in him, he’s just another blonde white guy. Big whoop.” I said, it was her turn to roll her eyes.
“You always say that about him, but you don’t understand!” She said shaking my arm.
“I don’t understand!” I exclaimed as she shook me, “but that’s just me I guess.” I said as she groaned and pouted.
“Maybe if you liked someone you would get it.” She whistled.
“No, we’ve talked about this.”
“Just let me try! I’m sure I could find someone perfect for you!” She hopped up and down, I tried to walk away but she grabbed my backpack and yanked me back. “Just give me a chance!” She said grabbing my cheeks.
I looked into her brown eyes… but at the moment they shone like the pebbles underneath a stream…I could feel my cheeks heat up as I looked at her, she always put mascara on her bottom lashes which made her eyes seem a lot droopier than they were… more adorable. The fake freckles she had mastered after a few years spread across her cheeks and nose bridge…I felt myself zone out for a second.
“Canary, I’ve already discussed this.” I said standing back up, ignoring the way it made my heart ache. “I’m not letting you set me up with someone.”
“Just give me a chance,” she pleaded, “I could totally find someone your type.”
“You don’t even know my type.”
“Sure I do, you love girls that look like Twiggy.” She giggled. I blushed a bit, I knew she was right.
“Yeah whatever, but where the hell are you going to find someone like that in the middle of Minnesota?” I huffed and looked down at her. We had arrived to the door of my class, the hallways quieting down as the period got closer to starting.
“I have my ways, never doubt the skills of a woman, Soren.” She said lifting her finger up before walking away. I laughed as I saw her walk further down to her class.
“…whatever.” I laughed to myself and I walked in. I sat down at my desk, it was surrounded by the louder kids, I had spoken to the teacher but she said “you’ll quiet them down.” Like hell I would.
“Sore spot!” A deeper voice came through, the desk almost broke as he plopped down. Jackson Weston, typical jock, popular, blonde, and annoying as hell. He was one to stay with his group, the obnoxious ones, but whenever given the chance to pick on someone smaller he would take it. I always tried my best to ignore him and make it through the class period.
“Hey Jack.” I mumbled, not taking my eyes off of the paper packet the teacher had given a few days before. I didn’t understand any of the questions, but it was better than interacting with him.
“Actually doing your work for once, god, you’re such a good student.” He said with a scoff, sometimes his “insults” sounded more like horrible flirts and at times I wondered if they were. I tried my usual tactics of ignoring the nuisance, but once a hand reached over and yanked the paper off of my desk I knew it wouldn’t work.
“Jackson, give it back.” I reached over the small aisle to his desk, but he had the paper on his desk and was copying the answers already. “I don’t even know if they’re right.” I said giving up and shrinking back into my seat.
“It’s better than nothing, dweeb.” He muttered under his breath. At least use something original if you’re going to insult me.
I reached over and yanked the paper back. Before he could say anything the teacher walked in, thank god.
“Alan?”
“Here!”
“Sam?”
“Present!”
The roll went on.
“Nolan?”
There was no response. I lifted my head from my hand, didn’t canary say he was here? He was probably just skipping. Nothing new. I looked back down to my paper but my eyes flickered over to the empty desk Nolan sat in. I couldn’t help but feel that something was off about it.
School went on, nothing new, everything still boring. The lunch bell rang and I packed up my stuff, I was in a hurry because me and Canary were meeting in the library instead of our usual corner. I stuffed my papers in and quickly zipped my bag. I swung it over my shoulder and headed out of the door, immediately I was hit to the ground by another student. I couldn’t help the way my face flushed in embarrassment as my bag spilled out the contents… I should’ve closed it better. I looked up from the ground to see who it was… Nolan?
He had a glare… he rubbed his shoulder where I hit him, but he looked down at me and I felt a chill go through my body. I could barely mutter anything.
“Sorry… I-i should’ve looked.” I mumbled and I turned to pick up the contents of my bag.
“It’s all good.” He responded and walked away.
“Not cool.” I scoffed as I scooped the stray papers back into my bag, I would organize it later.
“What even was his deal? He looked at me like I was a scrub.” I told Canary as we sat at the library table.
“Don’t have a cow, Soren. I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.” She said as she flipped through the ‘Sassy’ magazine she found.
“What are we even doing here again?” I asked as I laid my head against the surface.
“I’m looking for certain advice, you could probably use this.” She said turning through the pages. I zoned out as I watched her scour through the pages, I stared at her face… her focus on one thing completely… she looked so pretty like this, I could stare at her all day. I was tempted to reach out and grab her face, just to see how she would react. She would probably laugh it off… maybe blush… even be a bit confused… what if I kissed her?
“Found it!” She said opening the magazine and laying it down. “17 guaranteed ways to get your crush to like you.” She smiled.
“…for real?”
“The realest.” She said seriously as she began to read to herself. I would glance at the page, laugh at his jokes, give them small touches, make eye contact… crap like that.
“That’ll never work.”
“Stop being such a drag.” She mocked and continued to read. These things seemed like her holy grail, they always seemed to know what to tell her, how to guide her. I could do better, I knew what she was going through personally, I wasn’t some big company just printing out words.
We stayed in the library for the rest of lunch, we walked to our class together. This was my favorite class, but the teacher had us moved so now she sat across the classroom. I thought it was stupid, I had tried to ask to get moved but Mrs. Nelson didn’t care.
Nolan was in class this time, he sat with his head resting on his hand. I stared at him for a second until his head turned and looked at me. I darted my eyes away, embarrassed that he had seen me, but I continued to feel his gaze on me. I felt my stomach turn, he was just… staring at me. Eventually he turned to look at the front, I glanced my eyes back over, he wasn’t looking. I saw Canary peeking over at him when he wasn’t looking.
A piece of paper was passed out, a group project, the bane of my existence. Like clockwork I turned and saw canary looking at me, it was always me and her, no matter what happened.
“Listen class, I will let you pick your groups, it has to be at least four in a group.”
Damn it, that meant Canary and I would have to get stuck with one of these kids. I made my way to the empty desk behind her.
“Who do you think we should work with?” I asked as I glanced at the paper.
“…I think you know who I’m gonna ask.”
“You can’t ask him, he probably already has a group.”
“But he doesn’t! He’s still sitting there alone!”
“What makes you think he’ll say yes? He doesn’t even speak to us.”
“There’s no harm in asking. So go ask him!”
“What?! Me? You’re the one who’s in love with him!”
“But if I ask him I’ll look desperate!” Canary whispered and she pushed me out of the desk. I stumbled a bit and grumbled as I walked over to Nolan. He looked up, not hesitating to make eye contact and keep it, it made me uneasy. I looked away and fidgeted with the bottom of my shirt.
“Hey, Nolan, do you want to be in our group?” I mumbled.
“Sure, why not.” He said and stood up, he was a bit taller than me, enough that the height difference was noticeable. I walked back over to Canary’s desk, she could hardly contain her excitement, but she held it together.
“Hey Nolan!” She chirped as he sat down. He simply nodded his head in response.
Rude. I thought as I took my rightful spot next to her.
“…”
“…”
“Don’t we need another person?” Nolan spoke up after a brief moment of silence.
“Oh yeah, she said four to a group.” Canary mumbled and looked over the class.
Her eyes fell onto one girl who simply was sitting their on her phone, her big sunglasses pushing her extremely light brown and highlighted hair out of her face, her tank top was far too small for the dress code, but she hid it well with the tighter cardigan around it. It was Sydney Harper. Notorious for being cunning, but that only meant she was smart. She knew who to hang out with, who to treat well, keep her reputation out of the slumps, but she was known to be kind as long as you didn’t piss her off.
“Hey! Sydney!” Canary hummed and Sydney picked up her head and turned to look towards us. “Do you want to work with us?”
I watched as Sydney glanced over the group, she looked at Canary and I, but once her gaze landed on Nolan she grimaced. It was strange, I hadn’t heard any rumors between the two, I looked over at Nolan who was rubbing his neck and looking away from her.
“Sure.” She mumbled before standing up and walking over, she wore chunky heels that clicked as she walked. I didn’t understand how she dealt with it every single day. She sat down as far away from Nolan as she could. I could feel the tension and awkwardness between the two, Canary however just got straight to the point.
“Okay! Rad, now let’s start working.” The pencil scratched softly as she wrote all of our names, just first names, on the top of the paper.
The project was planning a quick road trip around town and then trying to see if it worked.
“What is even the point of this project?” My thoughts escaped as Mrs. Nolan walked by. Her big self halted to a stop, as if she was waiting for someone to ask that question.
“Well, Soren, this project is in order to boost the camaraderie of the class! I’ve seen that we tend to be… not so kind to each other, and I hope this project will inspire others to make new friends.”
I tried to hide the sheer thought of stupidity that ran through my head.
“Okay, Mrs. Nolan.” I mumbled looking over to Canary who was trying to stifle a laugh at my reaction.
Once the teacher left Sydney started to speak. “Have y’all heard about the party going on? I’ve heard some things but nothing solid.” She asked looking over at me and Canary. We both shook our heads, to her dismay we were both social outcasts. I turned to look at Nolan, a wondering look. He was more popular than both of us, he should know something. He froze a bit as I looked at him, staring right back. He cleared his throat and looked away, the top of his ears turning red a bit.
“…It’s on the 21st, at Jake Carter’s dig…” he said. Sydney didn’t respond but made a small note of it.
“Huh… thanks.” It seemed her energetic and confident attitude turned sour around Nolan… I would have to figure out why later. “So, are y’all going?” I was met with a smile, a complete contrast to my shock on my face.
“Uhm… well… I-i”
“We can!” Canary interrupted and pushed me out of the way. “We can totally go, that is if you’re inviting us.”
“Sure! Y’all are cute, you can tag along with me.” She smiled. “I’ll email y’all the address.” Nolan seemed to tense up at the notion that we would be present.
After class ended and everyone left I grabbed Canary.
“Are you serious?? Are you Crazy?!” I shook her back and forth.
“What! What?!” She yelled trying to get me to stop and calm down.
“You practically sealed our fates, a house party??!” I said looking at her. Despite the small attitude of our town it was a party. With only two high schools in the surrounding area hosting a party was a big deal, and in order to keep your standing good, the party would have to be bigger. We usually tried our best to avoid anything dealing with giant social gatherings, opting to stay inside and watch movies. “Why would you do that?!”
“Nolan knew about the party! He must be going!”
Of course. Her crush was making her forget all logic.
“So what?!” It’s not like he’s gonna speak to you, he barely does when we’re in the same group.” I sighed. The trouble that went up in house parties was a high level, it was dangerous.
“If you don’t want to go then don’t! I’ll go by myself.” She huffed.
House parties were dangerous. Horny teenagers mixed with alcohol was already a major issue but when you add a girl that’s alone… it’s practically deadly.
“I can’t let you do that.” I mumbled looking at her. “You hear what happens at those parties, I couldn’t bear it if you got hurt.” I sighed.
Her shoulders sagged down, she was stubborn. I would give in, and she knew that.
“…”
“…I’ll find something to wear…”