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Don’t panic. No, not yet!
“I know I’m the one you want to forget!”. The cat was out of the bag now.
“Stan, what the FUCK are you on about!?”. Fuck, Stan hated seeing Kyle cry. He hated BEING the reason for Kyle’s tears.
“I don’t know! I don’t even know why I’m here anymore!”, Stan said, throwing his hands up, “I came here for Kenny, and I’m stuck with you, once again, lecturing me about coping like you don’t fuckin’ cope in shitty ways too. I drink, I drink because it makes me feel… it makes me NOT feel”, he corrected, “So I’m not a ‘bummer to be around’, Kyle!”.
“I thought we were past that”, Kyle replied bitterly.
“You all were, I wasn’t”, Stan huffed, crossing his arms, “What the hell, why am I telling you this? I’m just saying, if it were me who was dead instead of Kenny, you guys wouldn’t give a shit”.
“Holy shit, Stan, that’s not true!”, Kyle cried, pausing to collect himself so he didn’t explode on the spot.
“I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape”, Stan continued.
“Because, Stan, I see the damn scars, and you’re lying AGAIN, you say you’ve gotten better, and you’re not! You’re an alcoholic and you need help, and you’re not getting it, and it’s fucking frustrating!”.
“Then, why are you dealing with me?”, Stan argued, “All I do is make you miserable!”.
“Not like I have a choice now that we’re in lockdown, do I, asshole?!”. Shit, shit, shit!
The air was so thick, you’d need an axe to cut into it.
“So the truth comes out”, Stan said, a little more quiet.
“No, I-“, Kyle groaned, leaning against the wall and leaning his head back against it, “I just- Dude, c’mon”, he motioned to Stan’s torso, “The scar under your chest, you think THAT is getting better?”.
“Fuck you”, Stan spat, “That was a long time ago, and that wasn’t even ME. Fuck you and your assumptions, fuck you”. Now Stan was tearing up.
“The fuck you mean that wasn’t you?”, Kyle asked.
“Why did you walk in on me getting dressed?”, Stan argued back, trying so, so hard, to avoid the topic.
“Answer my question first”, Kyle said, pink dusting across his cheeks, “I knocked, you didn’t answer, and I walked in, okay? It’s not like I was checking you out or anything”.
Stan scoffed, “Nice”.
“Stanley”, Kyle grabbed Stan’s shoulders, Stan immediately tensing at the grip and looking up at Kyle with hurt puppy-like eyes. “Dude… please”. Kyle’s gaze softened, “Let me help you”.
The dam broke, and Stan started sobbing, “Why do you care?”, he asked, voice cracked and breaking, “What does it matter? Nothing matters, it’s all shit”, he said with a head shake, “Not like you tell me anything either, you goddamn hypocrite! I finally, finally got to a point in my life where I can think about you and talk about you without wanting to blow my brains out like Mom, and you call me up, and weed me all over again. Every. Fucking. Time”, his bottom lip trembled, “I hate you so much. I hate what you do to me, I hate that you make it hard”.
“Make what hard?”, Kyle asked in his own broken whisper, “What’s going on, dude? You’re talking like you’re dying or something”.
“Because I am”, Stan said in a shaky breath, forcing a smile, “Every goddamn day”.
“Stan”, Kyle leaned in a little closer, too close, close enough to catch himself and pull back ever so slightly, praying Stan didn’t notice, “What’s going on? Did someone hurt you?”.
“Mentally, physically, or emotionally?”, deadpanned the tired raven.
“Yes”, Kyle deadpanned back.
Stan took a shuddered breath. To Hell with it. “It’s from a surgery I had a long time ago, okay?”.
“Surg- What the hell for?”, inquired Kyle, “Don’t you think that’s vital information? Don’t you think you drinking is going to have a negative impact?”.
“Of course it does”, Stan sighed, “It’s why I do it”.
“Why the Hell would you make it worse?”, Kyle asked, not moving his hands from Stan’s shoulders, “Where did you get the surgery that the doctor would give you such shit stitches?”.
“Hell’s Pass”. That explained a lot, “And before you bring up that I could afford better with Randy’s company, no the fuck I couldn’t, because why the fuck would he help pay for it after I killed Mom and Shelley?”. Things were starting to click, and tears were starting to fall all over again. Silence fell between them, “It’s why I dropped out. I got sick, I couldn’t go back to school, I couldn’t work, I was depressed and drinking myself to death, and I would only afford a partial removal at Hell’s Pass”.
“Removal?”. Kyle’s question was faint, Stan would’ve missed it had he not been staring at Kyle’s lips.
“My liver, Kyle. My liver was failing. And it’s doing it again. I’m dying anyway”. Stan almost wished he was blind, because watching Kyle’s body react to the statement was an arrow through his heart. Still, his words flowed along with his tears. “If it wasn’t for Kenny dying, I would’ve died quietly in Denver. Nobody would’ve known, nobody would’ve cared. It took Kenny dying for you to reach out to me after THIS long, so don’t sit there and lie to me and tell me that you would’ve cared if I was the dead guy. Don’t lie to me again”. Stan was cut off with an embraced and a quiet sob against his shoulder. “Dude…”.
“Dude… I wanted to… I really did”, Kyle croaked out, “I wanted to fix things, I just… I didn’t know how to”, the redhead continued crying on Stan’s shoulder. He felt like shit. He was shit. He was a shitty person for putting all this on Kyle when the redhead already lost Kenny, what the fuck was wrong with him? “I never wanted to lose you. You weren’t supposed to die until I do, Stan”.
“Dude, stop, I…”. Stan hesitated, but slowly returned the hug, “We were kids. It was a scary time. It still is. This isn’t all on you”.
“It’s not all on you either”, Kyle sobbed, “Dammit, Stan, you were just a baby”.
And that hit him like a truck. How fucked up did the world have to be for a ten year old to find remedy in the very thing that tore Randy and his family apart? Ten year olds were supposed to be dumb and love animals, and sports, and board games, not debate where or not life was worth living. He WAS just a baby, and every adult in his life had failed him. He didn’t put too much blame on Sharon though. How could he? She dealt with Randy long before he was even a thought.
Maybe Shelley’s death was what pushed her over the edge, but maybe, just maybe, Sharon was already on the edge to begin with. Stan would’ve been, with a husband like Randy. He WAS on the edge, with a father like Randy.
“C’mon, Ky”, Stan sniffled, “Why can’t you make it easy? Say I never mattered”.
“Because you DO matter, Stan”. Kyle’s frame shook against Stan’s. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re so deep in this… self-loathing pit… I want to help, dammit. I wanna help you”.
“Shelley wasn’t supposed to die in that fire”, sobbed the other male, “That was supposed to be me”.
“It was supposed to be no one”, Kyle said through grit teeth, holding on to Stan like the other would break if he let go. He wasn’t far off. “God… Once we figure this out… whatever Kenny’s plan is- Once it’s all figured out, I’m gonna pay for your operation”.
“Ky-“.
“Stan, stop talking”, Kyle cried, “Please… Just let me hold you, dude”. So he did. The duo cried softly in each other’s embrace for a good while before Kyle spoke up. “…I was. Checking you out, by the way”.
“Huh?”, Stan looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow, “Why?”.
“Oh, I don’t know”, Kyle said softly, “Probably to see if… my giant crush on you still lingered”.
“You? Crush on me? You, Mr. Pull a bitch every two weeks?”.
Kyle groaned, “Yeah, well, that was a long time ago”, he huffed.
“Yeah, at least I was semi-loyal”, Stan smirked.
“Fuck you”, Kyle said, lightly shoving him.
“I bet you want to”, teased Stan before he sighed, “So. Confessing your love because you know I’m gonna die too?”.
“No”, said Kyle, “More like… Since I have you in a place where I can actually talk to you and you not brush me off like a dildo”.
“Ah. Excellent tactic”, Stan commented, “Seems like it worked”. He feel silent before speaking, “It’s… gonna sound stupid, probably because it is, but… one of the reasons I… pushed you all away that day on the bridge… it’s because I was… experiencing some changes in my brain chemistry. Also because I was planning my death, but like… I… I started wanting things I knew were… impossible… damn near impossible, to obtain”.
“What do you mean?”, asked Kyle as he slowly leaned forward, 150% in Stan’s space.
“You’re smart”, said Stan, “Connect the dots, Kye”.
A pause. “Hm”. Stan’s face dusted pink as he stared up at his former super best friend. “Well, do you… still want it?”.
“More than anything in the world”, Stan said, eyelids heavy, “I just wish… I’d said so sooner”.
“Hey”, Kyle gently cupped his cheek, Stan leaning into the touch. “Once we figure out… Kenny’s COVID shit… I’m gonna fix you”.
“Kyle, there’s a chance it’ll reject-“, Stan started.
“A risk I’m willing to take”, argued the redhead, “I just got you back… I can’t lose you again. I can’t lose you, Stan Marsh”. Stan’s breath hitched as Kyle gently grazed the ancient, terrible scarring.
“Okay, Dude”, Stan said, breathless. “I’ll follow your lead”. He sighed and looked up at Kyle, “So… what was the name of the guy who helped Kenny with research?”.
“Vic… Ch-ouse?”, Kyle replied, butchering the name.
“How do you spell it?”, Stan asked curiously, never minding the fact that his crush of eternity was basically on his lap.
“C-h-a-o-s?”, Kyle shrugged.
“Kyle, that says ‘chaos’”, deadpanned Stan.
“Oh. OH. Shit, we were all wrong”, Kyle said, face palming.
“Another reason I left South Park was the insane game of ‘pass the brain cell’ between all who inhabit it”, Stan said, leaning back and sighing, “I’m telling you, South Park is cursed into eternal stupidity and shit”.
Kyle opened his mouth to argue and closed it, “Fair enough”, he said, “But at least in South Park you wouldn’t have been able to hide your death”.
“Clearly”, said the raven.
“Don’t sound too disappointed”, Kyle huffed, “…I’m glad you picked up the phone, Stan”.
“Yeah…”, Stan nodded and smiled softly up at him, “Same here”.
Kyle sighed a bit, reaching over and gently caressing Stan’s cheek, “So… Do we know a Vic Chaos?”, the redhead inquired.
“Well… I have a theory”, Stan said, instinctively wrapping his arms around Kyle’s waist and resting his head against Kyle’s chest, listening to the other’s heartbeat for a moment, “Remember when we would play heroes?”.
“I remember”, Kyle chuckled, “Toolshed”.
“Shut up, Kite”, Stan laughed a little, “But remember Butters’ villain name?”.
“Chaos”, confirmed Kyle, “You really think Butters is the guy we’re looking for?”.
“It’s gotta be”, said Stan, “I mean- Who did Kenny go to when our friend group fell apart?”.
“I guess that makes sense”, Kyle commented, “I know, at the time, I was hanging out with Tolkien a lot. And Eric was buddies with Clyde and Tweek, shockingly. They even went to some Fall Out Boy concert with Craig”.
“Fuck those guys”, huffed Stan, “I would’ve dropped everything to see Fall Out Boy”.
Kyle sighed, “I know you would’ve”, he smirked, “Emo ass”.
Stan smirked back, “Seriously though, we should try and get to Butters- or Vic, as soon as possible, and figure this out”.
“Yeah”, Kyle nodded, “I’m in… might be hard though, he’s in the asylum”.
“I don’t blame him, with the way his parents were. I’m surprised I’m not in there with him”, deadpanned the raven.
“Not funny”.
“Not joking”, Stan sighed, “Dude, I literally burned down a whole ass weed farm and killed my sister and led my Mom to her suicide-“.
“Do you actually believe that was your fault?”, Kyle asked.
Blue eyes looked down at the floor. “Stanley”, Kyle continued, “You… are one of the most damaged people I know. But you’re kind, and you’re smart, and you’re empathetic- Mostly to animals, rightfully so. People suck”, the redhead gently tilted Stan’s chin upwards. “I think that’s the frustrating part for me. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself. The Stan I knew was an animal enthusiast, and a board game nerd, and a fantasy geek, and a talented musician. My Stan is so much more than the depressed alcoholic, and it pains me to see you give up on yourself like this. Randy made a big mistake, sure, and trust me, I wanted to kill him when he took you away from me… from us… but I know you’re still in there, because if you weren’t… you’d still be in Denver. You want the help… you just don’t believe you deserve it”. Gentle fingers ran through Stan’s hair, “You deserve to be saved, Stan”.
Stan teared up again, “I’m scared, Ky”.
“I know”, Kyle gently hugged the other male, placing a gentle kiss to Stan’s temple, “I’m scared too”. Silence followed before Kyle hummed, “So… shouldn’t be too hard to get into the asylum now that I think about it… like you said, this is South Park”.
• • •
“Well, that was easier than expected”, Stan shrugged as he and Kyle were preparing for some sort of time travel as per Vic’s word, “Still, makes me wonder…”.
“Wonder what?”, asked Kyle as he laid a gentle hand on Stan’s shoulder.
“He seemed certain that this time line would be erased”, Stan sighed, “But what if it doesn’t? What if we’re just creating a separate time line? What if this one is still shit? What if we don’t get Kenny back? Or Mom… or Shelley…”.
“Hey”, Kyle gently cupped his cheek, gently caressing it, “Is there’s even a chance for this to work… aren’t you willing to try?”. Stan hummed and nodded, Kyle frowning a little “Hey… I saw you rubbing at your scar a little when we were talking to Vic… it’s acting up, isn’t it?”.
“A little”, Stan said softly.
“Do you wanna stay back?”, Kyle offered, “If you’re not up to it-“.
“No”, Stan cut him off, “I need to do this, for us. For Kenny”.
Kyle nodded and leaned in, gently exchanging a kiss with the raven male. “Right… Let’s do this, and then we can fix that liver of yours”.
“Yeah”, Stan whispered, looking up at Kyle, “I love you, dude”.
“I love you too, dude”.
• • •
After a heated moment between themselves and Cartman, after an unnecessary blow from Cartman to Stan’s torso- to be fair, he didn’t know- Kyle dominated the fist fight brawl and explained the plan to Cartman. They could all agree on two things: one, this was for Kenny, and two, things went to shit once their friend group fell apart. They had to fix this. They HAD to.
Traveling back to the day of their falling out, the trio making their way to the bridge, “Gotta get there before Clyde”, Cartman said.
“We will”, Stan said, rubbing at his scar again, “You didn’t tell him where we were, right?”. Silence. “Damnit, Cartman. I swear to all that is holy and unholy, if anything happens to Kyle, not even God can heal what I’ll do to you!”.
“Stan, take it easy”, Kyle said, gently taking his hand as they ran. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”.
“Fuck”, Stan huffed, getting winded, “Yeah, you are”, he said, seeing the silhouettes of their past selves, “Aw… we were adorable”.
“You guys, what the hell is that?”, asked past Cartman.
“Shit!”, Stan cursed, pushing himself more and breaking out of the hand hold, “Christ, Clyde, stop!”.
“I’m sorry, Kyle”, said the older brunet, gun aimed and ready.
“Yeah, no, fuck that!”, Stan barked, running in between the children and Clyde, “Hey! Cartman changed his mind, you’re not killing Kyle!”.
“I did not change my mind!”, barked past Cartman.
“Excuse me, what the fuck is happening?”, asked Kenny as he stared at the older men.
“Short version”, Kyle called, getting on the bridge moments later, “We’re from the future. A bad future, and we came back to fix it”.
Clyde didn’t put the gun down. “Stand down, Stanley”.
“Bite me, asshole”, Stan growled, “I let him down once- actually a lot. I won’t do it again”, he whipped out his own pistol, “You stand down”.
“Okay- Nobody needs to get hurt”, Cartman called, also pulling out a gun, in contrary to his words, “Clyde. Go home. Let us handle this”.
Past Stan looked at Past Kyle, “You set this up, didn’t you, dickhead?”.
Past Kyle’s jaw dropped, “You’re the dickhead!”.
“Both of you, listen!”, barked Kyle, “Everything from this point on goes straight to Hell. Losing this friendship makes you lose everything. Kenny’s dead”, he said with emotion in his voice.
“What…?”, Past Stan asked in disbelief, “No, no this isn’t real! None of this is real, don’t act like you know what’s going on here- Whoever you are, fuck off!”.
“Stan”, Stan looked back to his younger self, “I know you don’t understand it now, but you’re sick. You’re really sick. And you think destroying this friendship makes your plan easier, but I promise you, it doesn’t”.
“What?”, Past Stan cocked an eyebrow, “What the hell do you know?”.
“I know you’re in pain, and you don’t understand why. You don’t understand why it’s hard to enjoy things anymore. You don’t understand why your stomach turns when you hear your parents arguing every night. You don’t understand why everything gets unbearably loud, and you sure as hell don’t feel like you can go to anyone about it because adults suck, and everyone else is child, and they wouldn’t understand or know how to help you. You know that”. Past Stan started tearing up, past Kyle looking to him with worry. “Your plan with the farm, it doesn’t go well. You’re not the one that gets lost in the fire. It’s Shelley. Shelley dies, and Mom shoots herself from the grief. You’re sick, Stan. Your brain is an organ and it gets sick”.
“He’s right”, Kyle said softly to the kids, heart aching as he watched the younger Raven nearly break down right there. He instinctively moved to comfort him, but was cut off by his own past self.
“Stan?”, the past Ginger gently hugged the past Raven, “Dude… is it really… that bad?”.
“I… I don’t know”, the younger Raven whimpered, “I don’t know anymore, I hate it. I hate all of it”.
“It’s gonna be okay”, Stan reassured him, “But you can’t do this alone. I did, and look where it got us. Time traveling to stop this falling out-“. He was interrupted by the sound of a pistol’s cocking.
One bang rang out, and everyone let out a panicked cry, Cartman shielding the younger Cartman and Kenny, and Kyle didn’t have time to really react. Past Kyle was tearful, letting out a shaky “S-Stan?!”. The past Stan had shielded him in the moment, crimson splattered on his coat.
“Don’t worry”, Past Stan told the young redhead, “It’s not my blood”.
“Dude!”, Past Kyle pointed ahead of them, “It IS your blood”.
There stood Stan Marsh, bullet wound in his already damaged liver, maroon splattered on his lips as he crumpled right there.
“Stan!”, Kyle cried, rushing over to the older raven, moving to take off his jacket and put pressure on the wound, “Shit!”.
Three bangs rang out from behind, and Kyle looked up to see Clyde stagger back and over the bridge, falling with a sick splat.
“Not MY broship, you son of a bitch”, Cartman said, tossing his Glock to the side and running to Stan’s other side, “Did it go through?”.
“Kickass”, commented past Cartman before he and Kenny rushed to their set of Stan and Kyle, “You dudes okay?”.
“…Even after a bad ending, you took a bullet for me…?”, asked the past redhead.
“I told you… a long time ago, dude”, whispered past Stan, “I don’t want you to die until I do”.
“That doesn’t mean I want you to!”, Past Kyle cried, hugging him again, “God, dude… I had no idea… I mean…”.
“I shouldn’t expect you guys to be mind readers”, Past Stan sniffled, tearing up even more as he was consumed by a group hug.
Kyle glanced back at the kids for a moment before returning his attention to his Stan, “Dude… talk to me”.
“Kinda hurts to…”, Stan wheezed out, “You okay? The kids?”.
“We’re fine”, Kyle said softly, trying not to break right there, “Fuck… You weren’t supposed to take a bullet for me”.
“Wouldn’t be the first time”, Stan coughed, “Remember the school shooting?”.
“How could I forget?”, Kyle croaked out, “I know you don’t remember, because you passed out… I thought you were gonna die… that was when I confessed my feelings for you the first time…”.
“Oh… So you only tell me the truth when one of us is dying?”, teased Stan.
“You’re both so fucking gay”, Cartman huffed, glancing back at the group of kids crying in their group hug, “Still… I’m gonna fix this. You two hang tight”, he said before walking over to the kids. “Hey”.
“Hey”, past Cartman greeted back.
“Is he gonna be okay?”, Past Kyle asked, sniffling.
“You tell me”, Cartman deadpanned before kneeling to their level, “Listen… Covid should clear up a little in about… four months from now. Hold tight until then”, he said before looking at past Cartman, “There’s this really badass Fall Out Boy concert in about six months. I want you to get the tickets, you all go to the concert and enjoy it. It’s really cool, they play the Young Blood Chronicles at it”.
“Really?”, Past Stan chirped, peeking interest.
“Yeah. And they give out signed shirts and stuff and there’s a kiss cam, and there’s a raffle that gives away a replica of one of Patrick Stump’s guitars”, Cartman continued.
“Dude, I think that would literally cure my depression”, Past Stan said, eyes holding a light that had been missing for years.
Past Cartman huffed, “Why do I need to be the one to get them?”.
“For the broship”, Cartman said. They stared at each other for a minute before Past Cartman sighed and nodded in understanding.
“Now… I don’t know what’s gonna happen from this point on for US”, Cartman continued, motioning to Stan and Kyle at the end of the bridge, “But… you guys have a whole life ahead of you… so, go and live it. And Eric”, he looked at his past self, “Therapy. I’m telling you, it’ll make a lot of sense and make a lot of things less tricky in life. Oh, and look out for the name Yentl”.
“Yentl?”, past Kyle repeated with a squint.
Cartman sighed, “Yeah, future you didn’t believe me at first either”. He looked at Kenny, “And Kenny… I want to apologize… for all the stress leading you into this moment. You deserve better. We all did… but unfortunately, this is South Park-“.
“Dude, can we wrap this up!?”, Kyle called, “Stan’s fading fast!”.
“Working on it!”, Cartman called back, “Okay, so what have we learned today?”.
Past Kyle spoke up first, “To always check in on friends?”.
Past Stan chimed in with, “To reach out for help even if it seems impossible?”.
Kenny hummed, “Nothing can actually ruin a real friendship forever?”.
Past Cartman paused before shrugging, “I guess… to… consider others’ feelings and shit before making drastic decisions?”.
“Close enough”, Cartman said, “Like I said”, he paused to stand up, knees cracking, “Jesus Fuck- Like I said, Fall Out Boy concert in six months will probably solve all of your problems. Kyle, take it easy on your approaches with Stan, and don’t hide things from him, because that breaks trust. Stan, you take it easy, as easy as you can, with your trust in others, not everyone wants to hurt you, I promise. Eric, Kenny, you guys are jokesters and kids, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you need to start considering consequences before performing actions, otherwise, you could very well lose everything. Understood?”.
“Yes, sir”, the younger group said in unison. Cartman started heading back over to his Stan and Kyle.
Past Kyle looked to Past Stan, “Dude… I never meant to hurt you…”.
Past Stan bit his lip and looked at Past Kyle, still tearful. “I’m sorry, Ky… I’m sorry I got so bad… I never wanted to be this bad… I thought I’d get better”, he said, glancing at his future self on the ground, getting lifted by future Kyle and future Cartman, “…I guess that I didn’t…”.
“You will now”, past Kyle said softly, gently taking the past Raven’s hand, “I promise. Every step of the way, even when it’s hard”.
“It’s always hard”, Past Stan whispered.
“Gay”, past Cartman deadpanned.
“Dude, shut the fuck up”, Kenny said, lightly punching past Cartman’s arm.
• • •
When Stan woke up, he found himself in a hospital room, groaning softly. “You’re awake!”, cried a familiar voice.
“…Kyle?”. Stan groaned a bit, “Dude… what the fuck happened? Why am I in a hospital?”.
“Liver transplant, remember?”, Kyle asked, gently kissing Stan’s knuckles, “Your liver was acting up, so we scheduled it this”.
“Oh… You look like you’ve been crying”, the raven noted.
“I was… I had a nightmare”, Kyle admitted softly.
“You slept in the guest chair?”, teased Stan.
“Well, yeah, I wasn’t gonna go home and be in bed alone, sweetheart”, scoffed Kyle, “Rude”.
“Heh”, Stan shrugged before wincing.
“Don’t move so much”, Kyle said, reaching and gently rubbing Stan’s shoulder, “How are you feeling?”.
“Like I got shot in the chest or something”, Stan huffed, “These pain killers aren’t doing shit”. He smiled softly, “Of course, my best pain killer would be you and me in this bed, but I don’t think the nurses would like walking in on that”.
“You’re so stupid”, Kyle giggled, leaning over and kissing his nose.
“What was your nightmare, babe?”, Stan asked, smiling at the gentle kisses.
“…You got shot”, Kyle said softly, “And I couldn’t stop the bleeding…”.
“Was it the school shooting one again?”, Stan asked, curiously.
“No- It was… Weird, it was the bridge… like- when you had that breakdown about wanting to burn the farm down. I don’t remember much, it was a blur, but you got shot”, Kyle explained.
“Hm. That’s weird”, Stan said softly, “That’s a new one. Who knew six months later I’d win that raffle and we’d win that kiss cam?”, smirked Stan.
Kyle smiled softly, “And we became super best boyfriends”.
“And then super best husbands”, chuckled Stan, “Fathers of two beautiful Broflovski kids… how are they?”.
“They’re with your mom”, Kyle said softly, gently brushing back Stan’s hair from his face, “Cleo was crying all night. Matt tried to be a tough guy but Sharon said he had a few moments too”.
“Can we call ‘em?”, asked Stan, “They gotta know I’m okay”.
“Yeah, okay”, Kyle said, kissing Stan’s temple, moving to call Sharon, “Oh, also Vic and Ken came over to wish you a smooth recovery”.
“Cool. I know they’re busy guys”, chuckled Stan, the raven sighing and moving to sit up more.
“What did I just say about moving?”, Kyle scolded as the phone rang.
“I’m not gonna lay down so I can cough up my lungs and scare Cleo more”, argued the raven as he paused and heard sobbing from Kyle’s phone, “Oh, my love bug”, cooed Stan, “Gimme”.
Kyle chuckled a bit, “Cleo, baby, it’s okay, I’m gonna let Daddy talk to you now”, he cooed, passing the phone over.
“Hey, sweet pea”, Stan said softly, “Calm down, Daddy’s okay”.
“Daddy, I miss you”, sobbed the little girl at the other end of the line, sounding like a blubbering mess. She probably was. Despite the lack of blood relation- Stan insisted Kyle was the biological parent, as he wanted revenge on Randy by severing the Marsh bloodline- Cleo Broflovski was one emotional child, and Stan and Kyle loved her for it. Always the one with her heart on her sleeve.
“I miss you too, Cleo”, Stan said softly into the phone, “Just a little longer, honey, I promise. How are things at Gramma’s?”.
Cleo sniffled, “Good, I guess. Auntie Shelley came over and we braided each other’s hair and made flower crowns in Gramma’s garden”, she rambled a little, “And Gramma made cookies and Matt ate some and got a tummy ache”.
Stan chuckled, “That so? Is your brother around? I’d like to talk to him too. You got me on speaker?”.
“Yeah”, chirped the younger Broflovski, “Matt!”, she called, “Daddy’s awake!”.
“Dad?”, called Matt, the older Broflovski groaning a bit as he walked over, sounding sick, “Hey, Dad”.
“Hey, Champ”, Stan hummed, “Cleo told me you’re having a tummy ache. How many cookies did you have?”.
“…Six”.
“Oh, Matthew”, sighed Stan.
“I can’t help it”, whined the older boy, “Gramma makes the best cookies ever”.
“Well, I can’t argue with that”, Stan chuckled, “How you holding up, kid?”.
“…I miss you”.
“I miss you guys too”, Stan sighed, “So, so much. I’ll be home soon”.
“Oh!”, Matt chimed, “Hey, Dad? Aunt Yentl dropped off some get well gifts with our cousins yesterday. We didn’t open them yet, but I wanted to let you know”.
“Did they? That’s sweet”, chuckled Stan.
“Yeah… Hey, Dad?”.
“Yeah, Matt?”.
“Can we come see you soon? We can’t wait much longer, please?”.
“Please, Daddy?”.
Stan sighed and hummed, “Ask your Gramma, if it’s not too much outta her way, I’d love to see you guys too”. He smiled and looked at Kyle, and Kyle smiled back.
“Yay!”, cheered Cleo. Stan chuckled a bit and yawned, “We’ll see you soon, Daddy!”.
Stan sighed and passed the phone over to Kyle as Kyle closed out the conversation with Sharon and the kids, staring at the redhead with nothing but love. Kyle hung up and looked at Stan with a cocked eyebrow. “What?”, the ginger asked, “You okay?”.
“You’re my home”, Stan said simply, “You’re my picket fence”.
“Dude, that’s pretty gay”, Kyle commented, smiling softly, “But I appreciate it. I love you too”. He chuckled a bit, reading texts on his phone “Bebé and Wendy also wish you well”.
“That’s nice”, Stan hummed, eyelids heavy, “Tell ‘em I said thanks”.
“Yeah, I will”, Kyle said softly, “Now you rest. You know Cleo’s going to be climbing all over you”, he chuckled softly.
“You’re probably right”, Stan yawned, “And Matt’s got a stomach ache, so he’ll be clinging to me”.
“Cookie overdose again?”, chuckled Kyle, “I swear, those kids may have my looks, but their personalities are all you”.
Stan yawned again, “You sure I wasn’t the mom?”, he snorted.
“I don’t know, ask Wendy and Bebé”, teased Kyle as he kissed Stan’s head, “Now get some sleep, dumbass”.
“I’m YOUR dumbass”, chuckled Stan as he held up his ringed hand, “Forever”.
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way”, chuckled Kyle. “Thank God for Fall Out Boy”.
“In Fall Out Boy, we trust”, giggled Stan.
“Shut up, Emo”.
“I love you too, Ky”.