Archive of Our Own

Hi everyone!

I’ve decided to try out a civilian activity I’ve seen in a few magazines called an ‘advice column’. Basically, you can send me any problems you’re having in your life, and I’ll do my best to help you solve them! For the sake of cultural accuracy, please address me as ‘aunt’, and sign off with a funny phrase that relates to your question or to your name. Civilians like the anonymity because they’re ashamed of having their identities attached to their no doubt numerous personal issues, but let’s just go along with it for fun!

— Aunt Mayu

1. a little bird told me (guess who~)

Dear Aunt Mayu!!!!

(Why an aunt, though? Why do civilians go to their aunts for advice and not their siblings or cousins or teachers or anyone else?)

I think this is a really cool idea! Ahhh, but I don’t know what to ask… how about some basic advice on how to figure out what classes I want to specialise in? The teachers are getting pretty intense about things and I don’t want to get stuck doing something I’m bad at… What should I do??

— a little bird told me (guess who~)

Dear Bird-san,

Thank you for the support! Picking what classes you’re going to specialise in is a process you’re going to have to devote a lot of time to considering, though I’m happy to give you some general pointers.

Obviously, your first specialisation should be the one you’re performing best in. It’ll increase your chances of ranking well, and it’s good to start thinking about what skills you’ll be able to contribute in the future. But it’s also important to think about whether it’s something you want to be doing for the rest of your life. Maybe your favourite subjects are your best subjects, in which case you’ve got an easy choice. If they’re not, try to balance it out with one specialisation you excel at and one specialisation that complements it. For example, you might be really good at, say, interpreting air currents, but you might be really interested in medicinal herbs!

Even if you’re not performing as well in your favourite subject right now, if it’s something you truly believe will be useful to you, you’ll put in the effort and end up doing well, like a sedimentary rock crushed under intense heat and pressure into the toughness of metamorphic rock. You’re just calcite that hasn’t recrystallised into marble yet!

But whatever you end up choosing, the most important thing is that you do your best. I’m sure you can do anything if you put your mind to it!

— Aunt Mayu

2. Struggling With A Friend

Dear Aunt Mayu,

I’m having a problem with one of my friends. We’re very close, but lately I’ve been starting to feel that he doesn’t see me as his friend but rather his little brother. He’s always looking out for me and pushing me on, and I’m grateful for his help, but sometimes it comes off like he thinks I can’t take care of myself, let alone do anything for him in return. It’s really frustrating that he doesn’t treat me like an equal, and maybe doesn’t want me to be his equal. How can I get him to recognise me without destroying our friendship?

— Struggling With A Friend

Dear Struggling-san,

That does sound like a pretty serious problem! It sounds to me like you aren’t comfortable with the situation remaining as it is, so I think the first thing you need to do is to start communicating with your friend. It might be scary, but it’s important that you let him know how you feel, otherwise the problem will only get worse. He probably thinks he’s doing what’s best for you, and has no idea that you even have an issue with the way things are, because, despite his rankings, he is quite a dense person.

You’re probably not used to speaking up because your friend is so dominant, but it’s never too late to start being assertive. Try to do some little things your friend normally helps you with by yourself, and work your way up to bigger things. Don’t apologise for being independent or for outperforming him—if he sees you as a genuine rival, he'll be forced to recognise you as an equal.

It’s natural to be worried about damaging your friendship, but if your friend truly values you as a person, he will listen to what you have to say. He’s stubborn, so it will take some time and concerted effort to get him to change his behaviour. But you can’t keep letting yourself coast along in his wake, because you’ll eventually drown.

In the unlikely case that things don’t work out, remember that you have a wide network of other friends who also care for you. After all, you can’t hatch a chicken without breaking any eggs, as the civilians say! Though I guess it doesn’t exactly take an animal class prodigy to handle them with the necessary delicacy… perhaps civilians lack fine motor skills? Either way, if you address it carefully, I’m sure you’ll be able to work things out with your friend, and your relationship will come out the other end much stronger and healthier for it.

— Aunt Mayu

3. icydestroyer

this is a stupid idea and anyone who thinks otherwise is just as stupid or has been led astray by stupid people, which just goes to show the iron grip of herd mentality on the vapid and ignorant masses that populate this so-called school

but like, hypothetically speaking, if a girl gives you a second serving of chickpeas at lunch and extra potatoes in your dinner stew, it’s gotta mean something, right? like ‘monosaccharides are for now, but starches are forever’ kind of. whatever. anyway don’t answer this loser

— icydestroyer

Dear Destroyer-san,

Since you sent this in, I’m going to go ahead and answer your question anyway! Is it possible that you’re reading a little too much into the situation? I can confirm that I, too, have on occasion received a bonus yam or two on my dinner plate!

That being said, I’m sure she’s glad you’re appreciating the storage calories. Please continue doing what you do, she is definitely very impressed and suitably awed by your new track jacket and your dedication to lounging rakishly on grassy knolls as we walk up to them (might I suggest scrounging up a civilian instrument or two for a surprise serenade? Seems to be pretty popular in civilian media!). That’s why she never brings it up, not because she’s never actually noticed or anything.

— Aunt Mayu

4. unsigned, with five lavender trioctahedral mica flakes attached

is there any way to prevent long hair from shedding all over your clothes/library books/model hydraulics systems without cutting it all off?

also, i don’t care much for silicates, but i thought you might appreciate the study material.

Dear Anonymous-san,

(Thank you for the samples!)

As for your problem, I’d suggest tying it up to keep it out of the way. Braids would probably work best, with the additional benefit of maintaining your friend’s hair type. I’d even be willing to part with a few hairpins if he lends me the new Bunsen burner he got last week for the fire class practical tomorrow. Also, please tell him that he is overdue for a trim, and that a certain someone prefers individuals with healthy, split-end-free locks. Hopefully this will save you some sweeping!

P.S. We could do a field study in the northwestern marshes tomorrow if you wanted to test the efficiency of your latest backshot water wheel prototype, I could use the geological survey practice too! I might have waterproofed an extra track jacket for you...

— Aunt Mayu

5. icydestroyer

so what colours do saucer-eyeds like

— icydestroyer

Dear Destroyer-san,

Saucer-Eyed Club details are of course strictly confidential, but I hear anhydrous cobalt chloride blues are quite popular these days.

Incidentally, the next time you need to ‘borrow’ an item from my pantry, just ask! There’s no need to engage in any unnecessary acts of subterfuge.

— Aunt Mayu

6. Altivelis

Mayu-san,

Please tell the buffoon who has been decimating my borage plots to stop skulking around the greenhouse. The plants are wilting under his negativity.

— Altivelis

Dear Altivelis-san,

Duly noted! And good luck for the soil class review on Friday, I’m sure you’ll ‘knock it out of the ballpark’, so to speak! Heard it’s going to focus mainly on pyroclastics, so to all the soil class readers out there, make sure you brush up on your tuffs and ignimbrites.

— Aunt Mayu