Chapter Text
Part 1 - 16th Birthday
I've mentioned to Dr. Thomson, my therapist a few times that I'm concerned about my 16 year old son's well being. When I told him about the symptoms I've noticed - a sudden loss of energy during the day, squirming while sitting, etc. - the doctor told me to write down all such incidents in precise detail starting from the very first I remember. This is my journal documenting what I remember. I asked the doctor if I should start with the events of the camping trip first since his symptoms were most noticeable then, but the doctor insisted to start from the very beginning and leave no details out. So here we go. If you are reading this doc, then this is everything I can remember.
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The first time ever was on my son Luke's 16th birthday party. I was really excited to celebrate and decided to throw a pool party so I could bust out the outdoor BBQ. Luke's a good kid. He's smart with his school work, courteous to all our neighbours, and dedicated to his swim team. So dedicated that he even asked me to buy him a body hair shaver which I think he uses daily. But he doesn't have many friends. I take the blame for it, really. Ever since his mom passed away when he was very little, he's only had me as his parent, and I'm not much of a social butterfly.
So on his 16th birthday, I wanted to celebrate with style. But I didn't know who to invite. I told him to get all his swim team friends, but only three of them agreed to come. Two days before the party, I spotted our neighbour in his garage and I was so desperate to have any familiar face at the party, I went up to invite him.
"Hey, Mateo," I said, walking up his drive way. He was working on his car. I didn't understand how he could work as a mechanic all day and still have the energy to fix his own car afterwards.
He looked up from under the hood of his car and gave me a grin. "Paul. Long time no speak. What's up man? You need your steering wheel fixed again?" He walked up to me, his bulging biceps and forearms covered in grease.
I laughed nervously and looking up at his tall form, I said, "No, no, nothing like that. I just... err... never mind, sorry, it's too awkward." I started to turn away but he put one arm firmly on my shoulder, arresting my slender form.
"Come on, man," he said. "Don't be shy. What is it? You hit someone with your car?"
I chuckled and said, "No, no. I just wanted to see if you'd be interested in attending Luke's birthday party. He's turning sixteen on Friday and he doesn't have a lot of friends coming. So if you wanted to come, it'll be a BBQ pool party. Not that you have to, if you are busy-"
"Sixteen?" Mateo said sharply. He stood up straighter and rubbed his chin with his finger. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm free on Friday. Teresa has the girls this month - joys of shared custody - so I'm free. You said sixteen, right?"
I nodded. He probably wanted to get the number right for the birthday card. "Yeah, sixteen. Thanks Mateo! I'm sure Luke will be happy to have another familiar face."
The corners of his mouth twitched. He said, "You know, in our state, sixteen is legally-" he licked his lips and smirked but didn't continue.
I knew what he was going to say though. I sighed and said, "Yeah, he's really looking forward to getting his driver's licence, now that he legally can. Boys and driving, what can you do about it? Anyway, I'll see you at the party."
He winked and said, "I wouldn't miss it, bud."
---
::All my friends are here by the pool. And Mr. Diaz just arrived too. Just waiting on the food now.::
I saw the text message from my son and cursed myself. I was so sure we had burger buns in the fridge but when the party was starting, I checked and found out that we didn't. So I was rushing through a last minute grocery store run.
::Just entertain them. I'll be back in 20 minutes for sure.:: I replied. I grabbed the buns and got a couple of varieties of mayo just in case. I hurried through the checkout. I even wanted to drive quickly, but I drove cautiously as I usually do. It took me about 30 minutes to get back.
I unlocked the door and rushed to the kitchen with my grocery bags. In the kitchen, a tall topless figure with a muscular back (Mateo?) was leaning back on the kitchen island. He was on the opposite side of the island, facing away, so I couldn't see any more of him other than his back. He seemed to be looking down. I thought I heard a light "mmm mmm" sound. But I didn't have time as I loudly deposited all the groceries on the counter.
Mateo turned his head back in shock, his eyes going wide, his hands fumbling with something I couldn't see. He quickly regained his composure and said, "B-back from the shop? Got everything for the BBQ, Paul?"
As I nodded excitedly, there was something like a coughing sound from the other side of the island. Suddenly, Luke's head popped up from behind the counter. He exclaimed, "You're back, dad!" He stood up, his naked torso fully emerging from behind the counter.
His shorter 5' 8" form was in quite a contrast to Mateo's 6' 2". And even though my son had a healthy swimmer's build, especially popping in his swimming speedos, he looked downright slender next to Mateo's bulging muscles.
"Yes! And I have all the stuff for the BBQ," I said beaming. "What are you guys doing inside?"
Luke swallowed and said, "I figured Mr. Diaz and I could get started on cutting up the veggies while we waited for you to return. I had just dropped a- a tomato slice on the floor and was cleaning up." He wiped his lips almost instinctively.
I frowned. "Son, Mr. Diaz is a guest. You don't ask guests to do party prep," I said sternly.
Mateo laughed, looking quite relieved for some reason. "It's all good, Paul," he said. "The kids out by the pool were getting hungry." He pointed out the window by the kitchen counter. "This way, we can get dinner done faster. Right?"
I shook my head and said, "You're too nice, Mateo. Well, you can come out to the pool now. Luke and I have got this." I grabbed all the meat and motioned to Mateo to follow me to the poolside BBQ.
Instead, he said, "You know, I think it'll be faster if you work on cooking the meat while Luke and I," he put one hand on my son's waist, "stay inside and finish up the veggies. Trust me." He gave Luke's waist a squeeze and winked at me.
I thought about it, grimaced, and said, "Yeah, you're right that it'll be faster. But I owe you one for this, bud."
As I walked away, I heard Mateo mutter, "Nah, bud. Pleasure is all mine." And I thought I heard Luke giggle.
I went out to the pool side. Two of Luke's friends were on their phones in their speedos and a third was doing laps in the pool. They didn't wave or nod as I started to fire up the grill. Kids these days.
From the grill area, I didn't have to tilt my head too far to look through the kitchen window and catch sign of Luke and Mateo. Luke was biting his lips, looking down. Mateo was right behind him, whispering something in his ears with a smile, his arms around my son's. Out of curiosity for what they were doing, I went up to the window and rapped on it with a smile. Luke looked startled but Mateo just winked at me. He raised Luke's hands with his own - Luke was holding a tomato in one hand and a knife in the other. Ah! Mateo was teaching my son how to properly slice veggies. I grinned and gave a thumbs up.
I returned to the grill, which was getting quite hot now. As I started to put the pre-seasoned meat on, I glimpsed Mateo through the window, opening a bottle of olive oil and pouring some of it onto his fingers. Hmm, must be a really advanced technique. Luke was looking at Mateo with uncertainty in his eyes. I understood that - I would be hesitant too if I had to slice veggies with oily fingers. Mateo was grinning and probably saying something reassuring to my son, as his oily hand lowered below my line of sight. I just shook my head and went back to the grill.
A couple of minutes later, I glanced at the window again. It was strangely fogged up. I could somewhat see Luke, his eyes wide, his chest rising quickly. And right behind him, the hazy figure of Mateo with his eyes closed.
I called out to one of Luke's swim team friends. "Hey, can you go check if they are all good inside? I don't want to leave the grill here." He looked up from his phone, annoyed and surly. Slowly, he walked into the house.
He returned with a smirk to the pool area. He said to me, "Yeah, they are good in there. Real good. I don't think they need any help from us. Trust me, I offered." He laughed loudly at some kind of joke that I didn't get. Even his friends didn't get it. He went up to them and whispered something, pointing toward kitchen. The other two guys looked at him in disbelief. He nodded and continued whispering. And soon all three of them were smirking, then looking at me, then looking at the kitchen window.
As I flipped all the burgers, two of them came up to me, one looking like he was barely holding back a grin. The other one spoke. "Hey, Luke's dad, I just wanted to let you know on behalf of the swim team that Luke may be staying over late during swim practice from now on."
In the heat of the grill, I couldn't quite process what he was saying. "Uh, okay," I said, as I flipped the last patty. "Yeah, whatever you guys need from him. He's really dedicated to the team you know."
They both chuckled. The second guy looked at the grill right before I closed it and said, "Just burgers? No sausages? Shame. I think Luke would have preferred sausages." And they both burst into laughter.
Again, I didn't get the joke. I frowned slightly as I said, "I think he still like burgers."
They shook their heads and returned to their poolside chairs, looking a lot more animated now, and talking among themselves instead of being on their phones. That was good sign. I wanted this party to be lively, and it finally was.
I could see almost nothing through the fogged up kitchen window now expect maybe the jerky motion of Luke's body. It looked like he was cutting through those veggies a lot faster now, even with Mateo's bigger form guiding him closely.
It was just as the burgers were done and I had removed the first patty from the flame that I heard a muffled roaring grunt from inside the kitchen. All the other kids by pool also looked at the fogged up window, grinning.
"What the heck?? I hope they didn't cut themselves." I muttered as I hurriedly started removing the rest of the burgers so I could go inside and check up on them. I heard a quieter grunt. And what maybe was a muffled moan. "Frick, I hope this doesn't ruin Luke's birthday," I said, moving the final patty out of the grill, and then just running towards the kitchen.
"Luke!" I yelled as I walked into the house. "Is everything okay?" I walked up the hallway and turned around into the kitchen.
Both Luke and Mateo were looking flushed and sweaty. Mateo had pulled away from Luke and had turned towards me. Luke briefly glanced back but continued to rest on the kitchen counter facing away from me.
"Yeah, man," Mateo said, panting slightly. "It's all good. We just- uh- we were just really caught up in- uh-"
"Oh, so you didn't get hurt?" I interrupted. "I was afraid someone cut their finger. I swear I heard a cry of pain from the outside."
"Nah man. It uhh... I was just encouraging Luke here. He cut a perfect tomato and I was like 'Fuck yeah!'"
I cringed at the swearing but I got the sentiment. I walked up to the veggies and frowned. In the past seven minutes, they had managed to cut only one and half tomato. I looked at Mateo quizzically.
He just chuckled and shrugged, "We were really focused on getting the technique and rhythm just right. You can call it my birthday gift to young Luke here." He ruffled my son's hair and Luke chuckled at that.
Luke finally moved away from his position by the counter and said to me, "I uhh I gotta go change. I think I got tomato juice on my speedo." And he ran out the room and up the stairs. I did notice the wetness on the front and on the back of his swimsuit. I also sniffed a bit of olive oil as he ran past me.
"Uh, well," I said, turning to Mateo. "I guess all the guests can get started on assembling their burgers. I'll cut up the rest of the veggies and be out in a minute."
Mateo patted my shoulder saying, "Thanks man." And he left. As I finished cutting up the rest of the veggies, I saw through the now unfogged window that the other guys by the pool were giving Mateo high fives and fist bumps. Some guys just have a way with kids, I guess.
When Luke came downstairs after changing, he helped me take the veggies and spreads out to the poolside table. We all finally sat down to eat.
That was the first time I noticed all the symptoms in Luke. He was much more low-energy for the rest of the evening. He was avoiding eye-contact with everyone, though maybe especially with me? He was fidgeting and squirming in his seat.
It was odd though, because the rest of the table was pretty high energy, even if their jokes were beyond my understanding.
"No cherry sauce?" one of the guys asked with a smirk. "I guess this is a cherry-free household."
"Yeah, Mr. Diaz," one of the others asked Mateo. "Are you sad there isn't any cherry around? Or have you had your fill for today?"
Mateo seemed to be on their inscrutable wavelength though. He chuckled and said, "I can handle a lot more cherry, boys, if any of you are offering."
Everyone laughed, except for me, and also Luke who only smiled shyly as he looked away from everyone.
"Pass me some more buns, Luke," Mateo said.
"Mmm, I bet you like those fresh, warm buns," one of the guys said.
"Fresh, warm, round, supple," Mateo said, pressing firmly on one of the buns Luke had passed to him.
I tried to join in the joke. "I hope you like the ones that I got us."
Mateo smiled from ear to ear and said, "The buns that you have served me today, Paul, have been possibly the best buns I have had in all my life."
Everyone laughed again, and I joined in too. It was nice to be appreciated.
The sun set soon after dinner. I brought out the cake and Luke cut it. Everyone fed Luke a slice, and smeared the icing on his face. Even Mateo joined in the fun, saying "Now this was something I wish had done earlier today." Through his cream smeared face, Luke muttered, "Maybe next time."
Soon it was time for everyone to leave. His friends all gave Luke a big hug before leaving. I was so glad to see this party bring them all closer together.
Before Mateo left, he said to me, "Hey Paul, I'd like to teach your son more about cars. I don't have a son to pass all my knowledge to, so I figured Luke might benefit. Why doesn't he come over to my garage on the weekends, and I can give him regular lessons."
I teared up and hugged him. "You're really generous, Mateo. Thank you for everything today. And for everything you want to do for my son."
Mateo hugged me back, then held me by my shoulders and looked directly into my eyes. He said, "Trust me when I say this Paul: The pleasure is all mine."
He patted me on the back. Then gave Luke a tight goodbye hug and left.
Joyfully, I looked at Luke and said, "So, good birthday party?"
He smiled even though I could see his exhaustion. "The best birthday party. From the world's best dad." He gave me a hug before heading to bed.
Even with all my fears and uncertainties, in that moment, I knew for sure - I had done something right for my son today.
---
So, what do you think, doc? Should I bring Luke in for a therapy session with me? Or am I blowing these symptoms out of proportion?
Though honestly, it's hard to capture the extent of it from what happened just at the birthday party. Maybe the next incident - when Luke came to my workplace for bring-your-son-to-work-day - may prove more illuminating.
Looking forward to our next session.