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Rachel turns towards the window in Middleton nick and tries her very hardest not to cry. No, more than that, tries not to collapse completely as one of the only people she had trusted and believed in had evidently contrived to destroy her. How could you do this to me, Nick? I forgave you. I really thought you had changed. You bastard. I actually defended you. Oh, the irony.
Gill looked at Rachel and saw her shoulders shake. The DC was covering her face with both hands, and Gill’s cold fury at what Savage had done made her calm and focused in her concern. She could tell Rachel was trying desperately hard to stem the tears that were falling, or just make as little noise as possible. But sobs were catching in her throat, now and Gill shook her head a little, sadly. She came up behind Rachel.
“Oh, kid. Come here” she said, and she put her hands on her shoulders, turning her to face her and wrapping her arms around her, pulling her close. She had one hand on the back of her head, the other around her shoulders. Rachel buried her head in her shoulder and let herself cry just enough that she’d be able to pull herself together before she had to leave the office and walk out of the station. Gill just let her, her hand absently stroking into her long hair.
When Gill could feel Rachel’s heaving sobs subsiding a little, she gently lifted her away with both her hands on her shoulders. “Come on” she said, briskly. “I’m taking you home”. Rachel shook her head and wiped her nose on her coat sleeve. “I wanna go to Julie’s” she said. Gill lifted her eyebrows, nodded her head. “Fine, sure. Who’s Julie?” She had picked up her bag from the desk, had already opened it to find her car keys. “I mean ... DSI Dodson. Julie”. If Gill missed a beat, Rachel didn’t see it. “Okay. I can manage that. Do you know if she’s at home? I could ring her and find out?” Rachel nodded miserably.
Gill held her mobile to her ear. “Hiya, slap. Yeah. Listen, I’m with Rachel Bailey ... ” Gill’s eyes met Rachel’s, “ ... and she’s had some bad news. She wants to see you, but ... ” a pause while Gill listened to her friend talk. “Well that works out well, then. Okay. I’m going to drive her over now. Good luck with traffic your end”.
Gill drove in silence, occasionally glancing at the young DC but mostly checking her rear view mirror. No use just looking ahead, was her mantra to Sammy when he had been learning to drive. You’ve got to know what’s behind you too.
Rachel had been staring blankly out of the passenger window. She turned and looked tiredly at Gill. “Boss, about Julie ... ” Gill was shaking her head already. “It’s none of my business, Rachel. You don’t have to explain anything to me”. Rachel wondered if Julie had said anything about the encounters they had had to Gill. She doubted it, but she knew the two were close - good friends - so it wouldn’t come as a surprise. But then she hadn’t mentioned it to Janet either, so ...
“Yeah, but ... ”
“Really, Rachel. Your private life can actually be private, you know” Gill said with what might have been a hint of amusement. “It’s none of my business who you sleep with”. Whoa. So did she know? Or did she just mean generally? “I’m not ... I mean, I never said --”
“No, I know” agreed Gill, in a light voice. If the silence that followed was awkward, Gill gave no indication that she found it so.
After a quick succession of traffic lights, all red, Gill spoke. “Julie was out of the station anyway so she says it’s no problem for her to head home for a bit”.
Rachel thought that “no problem” was probably quite an overstatement but she knew how grateful she should be that Gill had basically held her hand throughout the whole mess that today had been and that Julie didn’t just tell Gill to tell Rachel to piss off and get back to work at Oldham Station. Her tears threatened again, unexpectedly. She didn’t even deserve this care and concern from her two superior officers. She had been an idiot, naïve and pathetic. Lied to Gill, too, until the whole ridiculous house of cards had come tumbling down with a black and white recording from some gangster’s phone. What was it that Gill had said, though? “Hey, you’re talking to a woman that had the wool pulled over her eyes for years”. Well, if it had happened to Gill - and no one could accuse her of being naïve, and certainly not an idiot ... The tears came unbidden and spilled down her cheeks.
Gill glanced with quick alarm at her passenger. Crying girls were really not her favourite thing to have to deal with. She thought she had nipped all that in the bud. “We’re nearly there”, said Gill, as a distraction.
Rachel tried to pull herself together. “Are we? I’ve never been to her house, actually”. She sniffed loudly and indecorously.
“Oh. When did you meet Julie anyway?” asked Gill.
“At that thing where I met Will Pemberton for the first time. After you two left that night, I bumped into Julie. She introduced herself”.
“Networking”, said Gill, wryly. “One of the worst bloody things about those conferences”.
“You didn’t seem to be complaining at the time”, thought Rachel, recollecting Gill’s very evident flirting with the handsome DSI.
She recalled standing in the darkened stairwell with Julie Dodson, snogging like teenagers. It hadn’t been too onerous for her either, as it turned out.
Gill stopped the car and Rachel looked up. It was a nice redbrick street. Terraces, but big; gardens and bay windows. A figure moved from the window where they had been looking out and a door opened. Julie stood in the doorway.
Gill threw her seatbelt over her shoulder and opened the car door. She gave a wave to Julie and went round to Rachel’s side. The young detective managed to open the door on the passenger side but wasn’t making a move to get out of the car. She looked up at the DCI. She seemed dazed - Gill might have thought her drunk if she knew better.
“Come on, kid. Let’s be having you”. Gill’s mouth twitched a little and then she reached over Rachel and pressed the mechanism to release her seatbelt. She thought Rachel might be in shock. It would hardly be surprising. “Julie’s waiting at the door”.
Rachel seemed to snap out of her trance and got out of the car. She smiled a small, grateful smile at Gill. “Thanks, boss” she whispered, biting her lower lip, and Gill just nodded.
Gill made no move to accompany the DC, but she shouted to Julie, “Put the kettle on. Strong, sweet brew”. She saw how worried Julie looked. Gill hadn’t had a chance to give her a heads up, so she probably thought someone had died. Gill resisted the temptation to hold her hand to the side of her head, like she normally would, thumb and little finger extended, I’ll call you. The last thing she wanted was for Rachel to think that at her first opportunity she’d be on the phone to Julie, gossiping and prying. When she saw Julie stand back for Rachel to walk through the front door, she nodded a farewell and got back in the car.
“Sorry”, said Rachel, as she stood in Julie’s living room, a tasteful room full of light with the original floorboards exposed, treated and varnished, a large rug spread in the middle of the floor and leather settee and arm chairs the colour of terracotta.
Julie moved towards her and gripped her upper arms. Her eyes sought Rachel’s. “What’s the matter, love?” she asked and Rachel took a very deep breath while telling herself not to cry. You, Rachel Bailey, are not breaking down in Julie Dodson’s living room. Christ knows, she doesn’t deserve that.
“Come and sit down”. Julie pulled her to the settee and sat down with her on it. They faced each other, their knees touching, just slightly. “The kettle’s on” said Julie and then waited for Rachel to tell her what had happened.
“It’s Nick”, she said and when she said his name she spat it, and realised how much she hated him and it suddenly felt like she had hated him for a long, long time now. “He’s been arrested. He tried to get Carl Norris to kill me. That’s why that car tried to run me over. He was --”
“You were run over?!”
“No - yes. No. I mean, some guy Norris hired tried to ... ” Again tears threatened. She took a very deep breath. “Norris tried to kill me because Nick told him I might be a problem for him. I’ve just watched his interview under caution. He denied it, like the smarmy, lying bastard he is, but then they showed him the evidence. There’s a recording”. Rachel pressed her lips together and shook her head.
Julie certainly seemed to have taken it all in. She didn’t look surprised, but Rachel could see deep concern shining in her eyes. She looks like she wants rescuing, thought Julie, when she looks at me like that. Julie realised it wasn’t the first time that had crossed her mind.
“I’m so sorry, love”, said Julie.
Rachel looked up dolefully at her through long lashes. “You don’t mind me coming here? Asking Gill to ring ya?” She looked pale and exhausted.
“It’s fine, Rachel. Really. You’ve had a big shock. I’ve just boiled the kettle. I’ll make you some tea”.
As Julie made to get off the couch, Rachel gripped her wrist and pulled her back. “I don’t want it”. She closed the space between them and put one hand behind Julie’s neck to pull her closer. “I just want you”. Julie removed her hand and put it on her knee, covering it, stroking it with her own. “Rachel”, she said and looked at her intently.
“What? I don’t want to talk, Julie, and I don’t want to drink fucking tea with you. I just need ... to be with ya”. And she tried to move close enough to kiss her.
“Look, Rachel”, said Julie seriously. “Technically we’re not even off duty and I am really worried about your state of mind. It’s one thing ... the other times, that’s fair enough - we can do what we want. But you’re upset and I really don’t know if this is a good idea”.
Rachel’s eyes darkened. She hadn’t come here to be lectured like a child, nor was she here to drink tea and make small talk in Julie’s living room. She wanted to feel Julie’s arms around her, strong and safe, press her lips against Julie’s, feel Julie’s mouth on her, all over her, desiring her, on her breasts, her cunt, feel her fingers thrusting inside her, deep and deeper until she forgot anything else and just let the older woman sweep her towards that exhilarating precipice that she knew she could let herself fall off because Julie would be there, holding her, when it was all over.
When Rachel wanted to fuck, she didn’t take kindly to someone trying to dissuade her. As long as Julie was thinking with her head, she wasn’t going to get very far. Well, easy problem to solve. Let’s see how quickly you start thinking with your dick instead, Dodson, once I’ve given you a hard-on you can’t ignore.
Rachel stands up abruptly and moves to the window to draw the curtains. It was just starting to get dark but it would be the only house in the street to have the curtains drawn so early. Making sure that no one else, at least, would be able to see was good forward planning in Rachel’s book. She stood in the middle of the room, staring at Julie who was looking faintly alarmed.
“I hope you don’t mind if I take off my coat” said Rachel and it sounded angrier than she meant it to.
Julie turned up her palms in acquiescence. Oh, I’ve only just got started, DSI.
Rachel flung the coat over one of the leather arm chairs. Her scarf followed. Then she unbuttoned her blouse quickly, without ceremony. She shrugged out of it and dropped it on the floor. Then she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. That too she just dropped where she stood. Her nipples hardened in the air of the room although it wasn’t cold. She let Julie drink that in for a second or two. She pulled her boots off, using the toes of one foot to work them off the heel of the other and kicked them aside.
Julie felt like something that she had had a handle on two minutes ago had rapidly got out of hand. She was trying to understand how all of a sudden this beautiful young DC was standing in the middle of her living room stripping off her clothes.
Then Rachel unbuttoned her trousers. The look in her eyes was challenging. She unzipped the fly and yanked them down her thighs and then stepped out of them as they fell, one leg after the other, pulling off her socks as she did so.
The look on Julie’s face was a prize she wouldn’t swap for anything.
Julie regarded Rachel, who was standing pale-skinned and surprisingly curvaceous considering her slim build, in nothing but her knickers. She had one hand loosely on her hip and used the other to pull her long, curling hair over one shoulder. Her eyes were huge, hungry. Her tongue moistened the corner of her mouth.
Julie shifted on the settee. She looked profoundly uncomfortable; couldn’t sit still, in fact. But her eyes were like saucers and any semblance of concern had gone. Rachel recognised the look on the DSI’s face. Just lust. Pure lust. Bingo. She smiled in satisfaction and then strode over to the woman on the couch.
Putting out her hands Rachel reached for Julie’s shoulders and pushed her back on the couch. It was a forceful shove and Julie fell back as her mouth hung open a little bit. Rachel swung one of her legs over Julie’s knees and straddled her, facing her. Her breasts hung pertly in front of Julie’s face. It’s clear that DSI Dodson doesn’t know where to look, except the problem is that she can’t look everywhere she wants to at once. She loves Rachel’s tits, and they’re so close to her face that she can’t not look at them but she wants to look at the young detective’s face, too - she’s not a pig - sensual mouth, those dangerous eyes that sometimes threaten to swallow her soul, if not any willpower she once might have had ...
“It’s rude to stare”, whispers Rachel, and puts her hands up to hold Julie’s face and moves in to kiss her. Julie resists for about half a second - and they’re both impressed by that - then presses her mouth against Rachel’s and it feels desperate for both of them, as their tongues clash together and the familiar spark ignites. Rachel’s hands are tugging at Julie’s hair and Julie’s hands are flat on Rachel’s back, keeping her close.
Rachel is moving her hips back and forth on Julie’s lap and it is driving them both crazy. Nothing can happen fast enough for Rachel. She can’t stay still and then she is gratified to feel Julie’s hands slide down her back towards her arse. Julie cups both her arse cheeks with greedy hands and breaks the kiss. Rachel arches her back a little so that her breasts bob into Julie’s face again. Julie can take a hint and she sucks on one of Rachel’s nipples, eliciting a gasp from the younger woman. Rachel is still wriggling and writhing and her breasts are smacking Julie in the face, now. Julie thinks she might be in paradise, as her right hand slips all the way under Rachel’s arse until she reaches the wetness of her cunt.
It’s ridiculous, how wet she is, and always is, for Julie. Julie’s fingers are gentle and maybe even a little teasing. Well, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to remind Rachel that patience is, as they say, a virtue. Rachel’s lips crash against Julie’s again and Julie slips her middle finger into Rachel’s tight, wet opening. Rachel immediately tries to force herself down on it. There is nothing virtuous about this.
“Please, Julie”, Rachel mutters. This is a first, Julie thinks. She’s never been this polite before. Julie moves her hand so she can instead slip it down the front of the younger woman’s knickers, for easier access. When her fingertips swipe against her clit she is rewarded by Rachel clutching at her shoulders ‘til it hurts. Then her fingers just seem to get sucked into the wetness of Rachel’s cunt, and Rachel is the one making all the movement at first, but then it’s both of them and Julie is pushing her fingers in and out of her, hard, rhythmically, the heel of her hand causing a firm friction against her clit.
“Oh, Jesus”. Rachel’s words are guttural. Feeling Julie inside her was what she had craved, not only today but ever since their last chance encounter - a crude fingering round the back of a pub at some copper’s birthday bash, barely any words spoken, and Rachel’s cunt sore the next day - Julie waking up, alone, with the smell of Rachel still on her fingers and her arm aching from how hard she had given her what she wanted.
Rachel starts to open Julie’s blouse - she’s still wearing what she came home from the station in - unbuttoning it quickly, roughly, pulling it open. She puts her mouth softly against Julie’s neck and then she’s sucking hard, not biting but it’s enough to make Julie inhale sharply, and say, “Don’t”. She’s been through this before with Rachel - turning up with love bites is not something she wants, not with her position and certainly not at her age.
Rachel sucks harder and Julie is caught between pleasure and pain, and it sharpens her senses, makes her even hungrier. Her fingers are slamming hard into Rachel, who is riding them with accomplished method, ensuring they go as deep as possible, and her palm is still against Rachel’s clit. Rachel’s not listening and Julie knows she needs her to. “You need to start doing what you’re told”, Julie manages to say and Rachel rewards her with a bruising kiss. “Make me”, she says, and Julie knows that she means it.
“Don’t you think I can?” enquires Julie. She slows her thrusts and feels Rachel’s muscles clench at her fingers like already it’s not enough for what she needs.
Rachel whispers into her ear and there is an edge of desperation to her tone that she’s trying to cover. “You know what I want”.
“Yes, Rachel. I do”.
“Please. Don’t stop”.
“Do as you’re told”. She feels Rachel nodding into her neck.
Rachel’s knickers are all the way down under her arse cheeks and really the only purpose they are serving now is to get in the way of Julie’s fingers.
Neither of them cares. In fact, Julie doesn’t recall ever once having taken Rachel’s knickers off before fucking her. You’re getting classy in your old age, Dodson.
They can both hear it now, the noise of Rachel’s wet cunt being pumped by her superior officer’s relentless fingers. Julie knows Rachel’s close. Maybe on a different day she would have punished her for the mark she knows she will have on her neck, dragged this out until Rachel couldn’t bear it, was truly begging her for relief.
But one of the things that Julie Dodson lived for these days was making Rachel Bailey come. It didn’t matter where it was or how it happened - since Julie saw the tall, bored, beautiful brunette moping awkwardly around the conference centre with a glass of warm white wine in her hand, and had introduced herself with what she hoped was a dashing, seductive charm, and they had shared their very first knee-trembler - she wanted more. And the more she got, the worse it got. It was by no means a regular thing and much of it was genuinely chance encounters (although they had both started going to a lot of police socials).
One of the things that Julie liked about Rachel was that Rachel would do things on impulse and not think about it too much, weigh it up, worry about what it was, what it meant. And Julie was at a place in her life where she felt pretty much the same - there had been no serious relationship for a while and she liked it that way. She didn’t want to ask awkward questions, look for reasons behind things - however it had happened, they had been brought together and whenever they got together they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Sometimes it was just as simple as that. Of course, it wasn’t ideal that she was Rachel’s superior - she really wouldn’t want it out in the open, for both their sakes. But she wasn’t ashamed of it. She’d never lived her life being ashamed and she certainly wasn’t going to start now.
“You’re a good girl, now, are you?” said Julie. “I wonder why that is?”
Rachel knew she couldn’t take much more of this. She was desperate to come, needed to be taken to that edge so that she could jump off it and lose herself, escape from everything - today, Nick, everything. Julie did that for her, every time. She just did it, always knew how to do it, like she was her salvation.
Rachel lifted her head off Julie’s shoulder and tried to focus her gaze on Julie’s face.
“Julie”, she breathed, “Stop fucking me about and give me what I came here for, will ya?”
And as their mouths met and they shared desperate kisses, Julie’s fingers pushed into Rachel and curled firmly into her upper wall.
“Take it, love. Take it when you’re ready” muttered Julie and then Rachel claimed what was hers. She climaxed with an intensity that was brutal and although she tried hard not to cry out, it was the first time she hadn’t had to swallow any noise she wanted to make (due to them being outside and round the corner from some police bash) so she didn’t worry too much when she heard herself releasing a choked, prolonged, throaty scream.
“I’ve got you” Julie was murmuring, and she did - Rachel knew she did. The young detective slumped against Julie, and Julie’s fingers were still inside her even though the force of her climax had forced them out of her cunt a little.
Rachel’s hands were wrapped around Julie’s neck and she had fallen into an embrace, her forehead resting on her shoulder.
Julie could feel the muscles of Rachel’s cunt contracting tightly, gripping her fingers like a vice. Her wrist was complaining too, stuck at an awkward angle, now, and much as it killed her to do it, she started pulling out. “I have to come out of you”, she said softly.
“Don’t be such a bitch”, Rachel whined but it was good-natured, just a joke.
“You’re insatiable”, Julie returned.
That Rachel had no comeback said it all. Julie slowly, very gently, pulled her fingers out of Rachel. The younger woman moaned sincerely at the feeling of loss. “I came so hard”, Rachel offered, her breathing still deep and unsteady.
“I know. I felt it”, returned Julie, her voice warm like treacle and she was stroking Rachel’s back. They made the most of this moment, just staying in it, holding each other. It was something that they’d never had yet.
The DSI’s phone rang.
Rachel shuffled back a little on her lap so the DSI had space to reach for the phone and answer it and was half horrified, half impressed at the mess of come that she had left on Julie’s trousers.
Julie answered the phone, her other hand keeping Rachel where she was with a firm hand on her hip.
“Dodson”, she answered, winking at the topless, ravaged young DC on her lap. No matter how many times Rachel saw Gill or Julie in action at work, it never ceased to amaze her. She loved their dedication, their power, their ability. Not necessarily in that order. And fuck, it was hot.
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In the office since 7, Gill was catching up on emails, new lab results and any recent memos and reports. She’d been thinking about Rachel but presumed that not only was she in safe hands, she also wouldn’t want her DCI getting back in touch so soon after everything that had happened during the previous day. She was a firm believer in leaving well enough alone. The desk phone rang and she grabbed it. She heard her friend’s voice. “Hiya, slap. How is she?”
“I think she’s alright. Didn’t want to talk much”. Julie bit her tongue then. She didn’t want Gill putting that particular two and two together. “She’s made of stern stuff, is Rachel”, Julie said. “Thanks for ringing me and bringing her over”.
Gill took off her glasses and leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, well, not a problem. I need her to be alright. She’s been twirled by that prick for months. I’ve watched her mind go off the job and onto something bloody else and now I know what”.
Julie’s voice was level. “Do you mean him or me?”
Gill paused, slowly inhaling. “Good question”.
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They met that night for a catch up. Went to a cheap Italian restaurant they knew where the food was better than the décor and the house wine was decent but still under fifteen quid.
They’d got all the latest police gossip out of the way and laughed like drains at Kevin’s recent guileless fuck-ups. Winding some creamy tagliatelle around the tines of her fork, Gill looked up at Julie. “So are you shagging her, then?”
Julie left a pregnant pause and took a sip of wine.
Gill bristled a little; was her friend thinking up an excuse, or putting a wordless distance between them? She dropped her fork onto the bowl with a clatter. “Don’t -- don’t lie to me. I don’t care, one way or the other. Say nothing if you don’t want to but please don’t --”
Julie hunched her shoulders, leant across the table a little to gaze closely at Gill.
“Shut up, will you, you daft cow. I’ve no intention of lying to you”.
Gill saw the earnest look in Julie’s eyes and relaxed; picked her fork up again.
“Wouldn’t blame you”, said Gill, raising an eyebrow. “If you were. Shagging her, I mean”.
The older woman sighed. “It’s complicated”.
Gill smirked a little, sardonically. “It always is”.
“Do you know what”, Julie suddenly said. “It’s not - complicated, I mean. It’s the exact opposite, actually”.
Gill scooped the pasta into her mouth. With her mouth full she couldn’t interrupt and Julie could just talk.
“We’re not seeing each other. It’s nothing like that. She hasn’t even got my phone number. There have just been ... ”
Gill chewed, raised her eyebrows suggestively, made Julie laugh.
“Once or twice. Moments. It’s all quite teenage, really - or sordid and depraved when you’re my age, of course”.
“So ... what?” pressed Gill. “You’ve kissed her?”
Gill recognised the sparkle in Julie’s eyes and everything became clear.
“You are incorrigible!”
Julie laughed, took a bite of her pizza and shook her head in incredulity at the situation, and amazement at herself, as much as anything.
“I’m not under any illusions”, she said. “I don’t want anything - more. It’s just something that happens sometimes and it’s ... nice. I think we’re good for each other”.
The image of her clutching Rachel round her waist, other hand between the younger woman’s legs, her trousers undone under her coat, as Rachel’s head hung back and she bit the back of her own hand to stay quiet, behind the pub and in the darkest part of the car park came unbidden to her mind. Her stomach gave a little flip.
“Well anything’s better than Savage” Gill said, before she had thought about what she was saying. “Sorry” she said quickly, putting her hand on Julie’s wrist. “I didn’t mean that like it sounded”.
“It’s okay”, Julie said, genuinely. “I know”. Was it her imagination or was Gill coming across a little like she was treading on eggshells?
“I only didn’t tell you because I haven’t really seen you and at first there was nothing much to tell. Oh, and you did warn me off, of course - told me to keep my hands off her, remember?” Julie was smiling, teasing her.
“It’s generally good advice where madam’s concerned. She’s a bloody liability, and that’s on a good day. But she’s a bloody good detective and I need her”, Gill finished simply.
“She’s lucky to have you”, said Julie, raising a glass. Gill was smiling, “Well ... ” She picked up her glass too, as was expected. “I suppose I have to say the same goes for you”. Her wry smile showed that she meant it. “Cheers, you fat-arsed bitch” she said brightly. Their glasses chinked together.