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“Let me go,” I growl at the handful of vampires surrounding me, trying to make it come across as more of an order than a plea. The last thing I needed was for these pieces of shit to have the satisfaction of me begging for my life, my freedom.
I don’t quite know how I got myself in this situation; I’m good at my job, usually being able to hunt them down and move on before the bastards knew what hit them. But tonight was different. Maybe I had miscalculated, or someone had messed with me without me realizing. All I know is one second I was ready to strike, and the next I was being restrained and threatened.
I just hope that if these fuckers kill me, Andrew isn’t left wondering what happened to me. I haven’t exactly been honest with him about what I do for work; he thinks I’m a security guard with odd hours. I suppose in a way, that’s not too far off from the truth – more omission than anything else.
“And just why would we do that?” taunts one of the vampires holding me down, grinning evilly. “No sense in letting a hunter run wild, trying to kill us at any given moment.”
“If you’re going to kill me, at least have the courtesy to make it quick so I don’t have to suffer the torture of you talking to me.” I try to resist them, but my attempt is futile as all my weapons were several feet away, very much out of reach with the grip they had on me. Struggling only makes it worse, but I’m not going down without a fight.
The one I’d been talking directly to bares his fangs, readying himself to rip out my throat, when another voice joins the commotion.
“Let her go.” It’s an order, one they seemingly can’t resist, though they don’t appear too happy about it. At the very least, it makes them hesitate, which buys me a few extra seconds.
“You want us to let the hunter go?!”
Unfortunately for me, they still haven’t loosened their grip nearly enough for me to reach any of my tools. Worth a shot.
“I will deal with her myself,” the new voice counters. “Have a few questions that need answering before any of you kill her. Now, leave.” It was authoritative, commanding. There was an edge to the order that dared the others to even think about disobeying.
The vampires reluctantly leave me, muttering angrily to themselves. I brace myself as the figure comes out of the shadows slowly towards me, too stunned by what had just happened to make a break for it. He crouches down, meeting me at eye level. Those kind, familiar eyes... There’s no way this was happening right now.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on, angel?” my husband’s soft voice is unmistakable this close.
“ Andrew?! I can ask you the same thing.”
He smiles at me in acknowledgement, reaching forward to cup my cheek in his soft hand. “Are you hurt?” he asks tenderly, apparently examining me for possible injury, his thumb tracing my cheekbone.
“I’m alright,” I murmur. “But Andy, what the fuck is happening? I – you're one of them?!” The sharp fangs protruding from his mouth suddenly catch my attention.
“Yes, darling.” his answer is simple, concrete. You’d think I had asked him if he wanted pasta for dinner with how casually he replied.
My world seems to be spinning out of control in front of my very eyes. There is no way my husband, the love of my life, is a vampire and I didn’t know. I can’t reconcile that; my sweet Andrew cannot be one of them. And even if that was the case, how would I not have picked up on that? I notice everything about him; why would I not know?
“You’re a fucking vampire.” Saying it that bluntly makes it feel somehow less believable.
“You’re a hunter,” he replies coolly, seemingly examining the ground. Did this not bother him? Or was he just holding something back? His reaction is impossibly hard to read, blurring my interpretations of the person I thought I knew so well.
“How the fuck-”
“Not here,” he cuts me off before I can finish asking my question. “We’ll discuss this later, at home.”
“But-” I start to interject, but he stops me with a sharp look. This was a side of him that I certainly wasn’t used to.
He tilts his head slightly, seemingly listening for something. “They should be far enough away now that your pathway is clear, but just to be safe – run. It’s too risky for us to leave together; I’ll see you later.”
“Andrew-”
He grabs the bag containing my hunting tools, shoving it urgently into my hands. He still wants me to have them?
“Go.”
His tone doesn’t leave any room for argument right now, so nodding, I get up and head back towards home.
I pace our living room for a while in a futile attempt to make sense of the situation. How the fuck was he a vampire? He didn’t appear fazed by my being a hunter when he was instructing me to escape – did he somehow figure me out before I picked up on him? If that were the case, why wouldn’t he say anything to me? My head is practically spinning as the questions pile up.
He finally returns about two hours later, and I’m ready to start arguing before he even has both feet in the door. Before I get the chance, he walks directly up to me and presses his lips to mine, holding my face in both his hands. There’s something so tender and loving in his kiss, making me momentarily forget the events of tonight.
“You’re seriously not hurt?” he asks softly, forehead against mine. His question is sweet, protective. Always a worrier, that one.
“I’m okay,” I assure him. “Promise.”
He seems to accept that response, pulling away from me slightly.
“Andy.” It’s all I can do right now to begin this talk. How does one confront their partner about being a vampire?
“Yeah... suppose we have a lot to discuss, huh?” I can tell he’s nervous, uncomfortable with the idea of having this conversation.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I start.
“Same question.” That isn’t much of an answer, but fine. He’s rubbing the skin of his hands raw as he waits expectantly for my reply.
“I assumed you were unaware of the existence of vampires, and I was hoping to keep it that way. I wanted to protect you,” I confess. That was true; I hadn’t wanted to stress him out with the existence of the supernatural world, figuring that the less he knew the better.
“Me too, plus I... I didn’t want to scare you away.” There’s an insecurity hiding behind his admission, which cracks my heart wide open. He was worried I’d be scared of him? “I hope you know I would never want to hurt you.”
“I know, baby.” I was struggling to wrap my head around this, but I knew his words to be true. He had more than proved that tonight, freeing me instead of letting me get murdered by those despicable... no. Could I really think about them like that anymore?
“I love you more than anything,” he says as if he’s afraid I won’t believe him.
I notice he’s averting his gaze, and I reach up towards his face, making him meet my eyes. “I know. I love you too.”
He covers my hand on his face with his own, trying to secure it in place. His eyes close softly as he turns his head just enough to kiss my palm.
“Honey?” he asks timidly. “What does this mean for us?”
“I don’t know that I have an answer for that right now, Andrew,” I sigh shakily. This is a variable I had never once considered, so now I wasn’t sure what this meant for me, let alone us. “I mean, if I know I can trust you, does that mean my entire worldview has to change? There’s just a lot I’m going to have to process, a lot to think about.”
“Just promise me that if you kill me, I can at least die holding you,” he mumbles against my hand, seemingly holding back tears. He... sounded like if it came down to it, he would let me kill him. Andrew hadn’t been a fighter, ever, but not putting up a fight for his life was an entirely other thing. Is this something I need to be concerned about?
“Baby, I’m not going to kill you.”
“Why not? I’m one of them, like you said.” I hadn’t realized how much this was affecting him, like he feared me.
“Yeah, well up until a few hours ago, you were just my husband.” I lean up, kissing his cheek. “Who I love very, very much,” I continue with another peck.
I thought that my entire universe crumbling would make me more unsure of my relationship – we'd both been lying to and hiding from one another for so long, but there was something almost poetic about it. In a way, it was all done for love.
“And you could easily have killed me tonight, baby. But you didn’t, and that makes me think I can still trust you,” I point out in an attempt to calm his anxious mind.
“Of course I didn’t fucking kill you!” He seems mildly offended at my suggestion, totally not the response I was hoping for. “I - when I realized it was you, it didn’t matter anymore. I wasn’t going to let anybody hurt you... I know that sounds ridiculous, because you’ve murdered so many of us, but...”
“Andrew... if you didn’t know it was me, would you have?”
The look on his face tells me all that I need to know. The thought stung, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t say the same. If I’d been in position to fight, I would have killed him without hesitation if I didn’t know it was him. The thought terrifies me, wondering what tonight’s outcome would have been if things had gone just slightly differently.
“Baby?” he asks, voice cracking. “Why do you do it?”
“I’m trying to protect people, Andy. I don’t want to see innocent lives be lost to creatures they don’t really stand a chance against.”
“We’re not all bad, though,” he argues, sounding a bit sad as he stumbles over his words.
“I can see that now...”
I really don’t know how to comfort him in this situation, this unexplored territory. It doesn’t help that his reaction is totally confusing, shifting from concerned to sad, maybe even angry.
“When I heard your voice... I – I thought they had gotten the wrong person, that you had gotten caught up in this somehow...”
“Andrew...”
“I should be fucking angry with you!” he shouts, startling me before shooting me an apologetic look. “But... I’m just, I don’t know, hurt? But I’m also just so goddamned relieved that you’re safe.”
“Back there, you... you gave me my weapons back. Why?”
“Because you deserve to be able to defend yourself, love.”
His teary eyes meet mine as he continues. “Even now, knowing all this shit... I would never be able to forgive myself if they had killed you. A lot of them are much more, ehm, impulsive than I am.”
“Andy,” my voice cracks slightly. His name feels like the only thing I’m capable of saying right now.
He sighs, shaking his head. It takes everything in me not to hug him tighter than ever and tell him everything would be alright. How could I, when I didn’t know where we stood right now?
We remain awkwardly in the living room, occasionally stealing anxious glances at one another. Where the fuck do I go from here?
“I know it won’t solve anything, and I know I definitely don’t deserve your forgiveness... but I am sorry, baby.” I manage to find my voice once more, though it sounds smaller to me than I ever thought it could.
The expression on his face is impossible to decipher. “I just...” he mumbles, a tremble in his voice. “I know it’s not fair to ask you stop.”
I want to get defensive of my work, but I hesitate. I try to picture separating these two lives again, but I’m only tormented by images of staking the heart of the man currently standing in front of me. “Andrew, I... have a lot to figure out about all of this. But if it’s any consolation, I think that means at the very least I’ll be taking a break.”
“Don’t feel obligated just because-”
It’s my turn to cut him off. “This isn’t because you’re asking me to. This is because I need to rethink some things.”
Apparently, neither of us know what to say next, the tension of tonight’s events fully exhausting our dialogue.
“I think I’m going to go to bed,” I finally say, a yawn accentuating my statement.
“Oh,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll make up the couch.”
I raise an eyebrow, wondering what the hell he was talking about.
“I mean, I figured you don’t want to share a bed...”
“I-” did I want that? On one hand, all the lying and hiding that had come to light made me hesitant to indulge in that intimacy. But on the other, I was exhausted and the comfort of sinking into his arms was incredibly tempting. “If you don’t hold me, I’ll kill you,” I chuckle dryly, wincing at my attempt at humor.
Before he can respond I add, “Uh, kidding. In case that wasn’t obvious.”
I hear his breathy laugh before feeling his lips on my forehead. “I know.”
He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers, and leads me to our room. There was a lot I didn’t know, but those thoughts are immediately silenced as I’m enveloped by the familiarity of my husband and my blankets. Figuring everything out is a problem for future me.